The Devil's Conversation Learning: Instantly Become Friends with Strangers

Chapter 21

(2) Ask the other party for help because you have encountered some troubles.This is the most common reason why women date men.Many female friends talk to strange men for this reason.However, the result is usually that after the man helped the woman, the woman said "thank you" and then turned and ran away.

(3) Marketing.You must know that most of the conversations are from sales, and now there are more and more salesmen, and the competitive pressure facing the sales industry is also increasing.This kind of strike-up is completely commercial.The result of this kind of chatting is usually that the man rejects the woman, or buys the woman's goods, and then the two become strangers again.

(4) Simply make friends.In most cases, women strike up a conversation with a man for some purpose, and very few of them strike up a conversation just to make friends.After all, there are so many ways for women to make friends.

In fact, no matter what the reason is, we should be aware that women and men have become quite common.Moreover, because it is easier for women to strike up a conversation with men, it has become more and more popular and has gradually become a popular element.

07． A 'first' date, one step closer to happiness

The first date is an extremely important part of the success of the strike-up.How important is the first date after striking up a conversation, and what details should be paid attention to to make the first date romantic and meaningful?Let's analyze the respective mental states of men and women from a psychological point of view to help you effectively grasp this crucial "first time".

Men tend to be courteous on a first date.Therefore, when the date is over, if there is no definite answer from the woman, the man will generally think that the woman is not satisfied with him, or that he has not had much chance.In fact, the next date is often an opportunity to keep chasing her, but men always default to the next time as an excuse, and once the woman leaves, it's over.Men always pin their hopes on the fact that after the first short contact, everything will be settled.Men regard women as a window leading to a whole new world, and from then on, enjoy the joy and novelty brought by the brave new world.Men rarely think about what foundations are needed for a healthy relationship between the two of them.Men believe that once a woman expresses her desire to be with him, the relationship between the two has basically been finalized and they can sit back and relax.Therefore, men are always eager to win a woman's favor, and after success, they treat women in a very "homely" way, and women often feel cheated.Just like in a joke where the wife asks, "Why did you always send me flowers when you were chasing me, but now you don't have any?" The husband replies, "Have you ever seen a fisherman feed a fish with bait after he catches it?"

A woman also values ​​the first date, but she doesn't see it as a moment to establish a relationship, but rather as a time to speculate on what she will have to give to get along with this man in order to get along .Through her own intuition, a woman guesses what it will be like if she gets along with this man day and night through the appearance of two people getting along happily for a while.Her intuition helps her predict the prospect of two people's relationship, which is more important to a woman than a man's current attention.A woman's emotional world is very rich, because emotion is part of a woman's nature, while a man's emotion is in a dormant state.When a woman attracts a man, falls in love with him, and shows him her emotionally rich inner world, her love can awaken a sensual part of a man's life, and only a woman can do this.No one knows how far a woman's inner feelings can go for a man she loves.When a man is attracted to a woman's emotional world and continues to understand her deeply, he can learn to be as emotionally invested as a woman.Emotional communication makes the relationship between the sexes more perfect. Not only can women get more fun from it, but men will also mature and learn to express love in a way that women agree with.

Both men and women should pay attention to some details on the first date in order to put the relationship on the track of healthy development.

One is to prepare well before dating.For example, check in advance what dishes she likes to eat, and then book three restaurants with different flavors and food (of course, it is best to concentrate in the same area) so that she can choose at that time, which will naturally make her feel that you are so considerate and considerate. Dust, the most important thing is the sincerity from the heart.Opportunities to show her grace, such as opening the door, pulling the seat, and seeing her home, should not be ignored.Remember, she will pay special attention and care about your performance in these details.Also, a gift should be prepared.When dating, it is advisable to give a small gift to make her happy, just treat it as a small meeting gift.Choose an exquisite little gift for her in advance, such as a fresh and gorgeous tulip, a box of beautifully packaged chocolates, a necklace with a simple design, and an interesting little book. good.Don't rush into buying her gold jewelry or expensive leather bags on the first date, it will just scare her away.It will be even more embarrassing when she pushes you and gives way.Another thing to note is that you must not be late for the first date, especially the man.

The second is to pay close attention to each other.She agrees to your date, which initially proves that she has no resistance to you, and even has a good impression of you. You have a chance to develop into friends.At this time, you might as well pay close attention to her dress that day, and give her a compliment gently, which is enough to make her very happy.Boys should pay more attention to girls, so that she also pays attention to you.I hope she pays attention to you. In fact, it is best to start by yourself, including paying attention to her daily clothes, paying attention to some details of her life, what she likes to eat, what hobbies and interests she has, etc.Once you have the opportunity to chat with her, you will naturally be able to open up the topic and explore it.When she knows you're paying attention to her, it will unwittingly draw her attention to you and possibly impress her.

The third is to pay attention to the content of the conversation.First of all, the topic should not be boring.Now that you can seize the opportunity to get along with her and talk, you should communicate and communicate well. You can pay more attention to her current situation, hobbies or views on things, and ask questions from them to deepen your knowledge and understanding of her. It just goes on and on, rather than having a yes-or-no, which would be tedious.Similarly, you should also talk about topics that you believe the other person is interested in, instead of just talking about your expertise or ambitions. Don't bore her on the first date, and you may not have a next date.Secondly, avoid talking about past relationships endlessly.If you like a girl, it is understandable that you have a lot of things in your heart that you want to tell her, including your past and present, but many men make a mistake, that is, they resort to their past love history on the first date, I hope that the other party understands their past, but this often ignores the girl's feelings.Did she date you just to hear you tell about your ex-girlfriend?Besides, girls like themselves to be unique in their boyfriend's heart, and they will never allow another person to be in their boyfriend's heart.Jealousy has long been closely linked with love, and it is beyond the control of reason.Therefore, when it comes to old relationships, it is better to be careful and be considerate of each other's feelings.

Fourth, the boy should decide the next step of activity according to the specific situation of the other party, and use different methods in different occasions.For example, when you go to the park, you should not just sit on the park chairs, but you should walk around or sit on the swing, let the body move, so that both parties can relieve tension; when walking, let the girl walk by the sidewalk. side, and keep pace with her as much as possible, the initial distance between the two should be 20 cm; when dancing, if the other party is keen on this way, you should also follow his heart, because the barriers between each other can be eliminated during the beating; watching movies When watching, know in advance whether the plot is suitable for couples.In addition, girls should also be consulted more about activities such as watching games or performances and playing in playgrounds.

The fifth is to grasp the details and atmosphere of meals.Boys should take the initiative to invite her to eat, because most girls are reluctant to say that they are hungry.Ask her what she wants to eat first, and if she doesn't comment, you decide the menu yourself.When ordering, be careful not to order foods that are easy to stick to your teeth, because that will spoil the atmosphere.Try not to make any noise while eating, and it is advisable to eat while talking.You can eat as much as you want, girls usually like boys with big appetites.Never force a woman to drink alcohol on a first date, as this will upset her and she can use your pressure as an excuse to refuse to date you again.Don't pretend to be huge, whether you know it or not.If she drinks and her face turns red, you should praise her.For girls, although the task of ordering food is handed over to the man, the two should discuss together when ordering food to enhance mutual interaction.If you are used to leaving the ordering task to the man, remember to inform the other party in advance of the ingredients you are allergic to, and don’t say a word of complaint when eating, and don’t be mean to the service staff, otherwise the man may think "Maybe she will be cooked later" I will do the same to me", so I choose to distance myself, please keep it in mind!In addition, don't take it for granted when the man pays.

The sixth is to use farewell skills.It is best to say goodbye to her at the appropriate station, wait with her for the train until it arrives, and leave by yourself after she gets on and the train leaves.If she is willing to let you take her home, it means that she has a heart-to-heart bond with you.This is a must time, which means that the first date should end when the girl still wants to be with you.This is a great way to make her look forward to her next date.At the same time, you should use the following invitation techniques.For example, while waiting for the bus, you ask her: "Today is the summer solstice, do you know what the summer solstice means?" She said no, and the bus came right then.You say, "Okay, I'll let you know on the next date." Repeat the time and place again, and then drive her to the car.Or, when she says goodbye, "I had a great evening with you." You have to jump right in and say, "That was great, I'll make you happier next time. ’ and then repeat appropriately when and where your next appointment will be.

In short, on the first date after a successful strike-up, all the things in the soul of a woman also exist in the heart of a man, but the proportions are different.Therefore, the details are very important.Knowing a little more about each other's psychology and expressions will bring you one step closer to happiness.

Extended reading: The key points that women and men need to master
First, since you are taking the initiative to strike up a conversation, you should take the initiative to the end, don't be disturbed by your gender factor halfway, and consider whether you should show feminine reserve to balance the abruptness at the beginning.In fact, for a man who is willing to chat with him, this is completely unnecessary.Having accepted her abruptness meant appreciating her confidence, why didn't she follow through?
Second, due to nervousness, they focus too much on themselves, ignoring the observation and judgment of the person they strike up a conversation with.Although the person who struck up a conversation only answered without asking questions, his attitude was actually open, and he also mentioned "I don't want to go home because of the traffic jam", which is actually implying that we can continue chatting.The inability to calmly understand the other person's reaction is another reason why it is easy to miss a good opportunity when striking up a conversation.

Third, improper use of eye gaze.There is the possibility of eye contact between people who have a good heart. As a general relationship, even people who have some affection for her will care about their own personal space.The excessive use of eye contact is an infringement of personal space, and if the timing is wrong, it becomes harassment.

Fourth, ask generously when it is time to ask.For example, when the person who strikes up a conversation gets up to say goodbye, if she asks if she can sit down and chat for a while, it is estimated that the other party will not refuse.Because the other party is a man, he has no worries about security and reserve.As long as there is no ill feeling towards her, as long as time permits, chatting will definitely not be a problem.

08．Make good use of 45 seconds to sell yourself beautifully
Being able to make an appointment to meet with the opposite sex after chatting up a conversation shows that the relationship is one step closer.In this important link, learning to manage the first impression you leave on others will help you establish a good image in the short period of time you meet people for the first time.

We all know that it is important to pay attention to first impressions in interpersonal communication.The so-called first impression is the impression formed in a short period of time based on one-sided information.Psychological research has found that first impressions can be made within 45 seconds of meeting someone for the first time.This first impression has a strong influence on the other's perception, and forms and dominates in the other's mind.This preconceived first impression is vivid, strong, and unforgettable.The first impression mainly depends on gender, age, body posture, posture, conversation, facial expression, clothing, etc. to judge a person's internal quality.Therefore, in the process of interpersonal communication, especially when interacting with others for the first time, we must pay attention to leaving a good impression on others.Attention to detail can make all the difference in communication.A person's external image often reveals who he is and how he feels about himself.This mainly includes body posture, walking posture, clothing, hair shape and facial makeup, etc.

Generally speaking, the first impression mainly considers one's own clothing.A person's clothing represents the person's image, and others can infer the person's civilization level and mental state through the person's clothing, thus forming a crucial first impression.Therefore, in the important part of meeting for the first time, the issue of clothing must not be taken lightly.

In daily life, a person walks with his head held high and full of confidence, or timidly and shrinks his head; when he stands, he has a straight back or hunchback; or he has strange clothes, messy hair, and uncut nails , Scary lipstick, stained tie, shirt corner, etc., all rough or deliberately unconventional behaviors will unceremoniously destroy your image.Casual and sloppy clothing is a reflection of a person's personality, and it is easy for people to draw conclusions from a person's sloppy clothing that his thinking is also sloppy.When a business school student walks into a classroom dressed casually, can this student be tomorrow's executive?A person who has always paid little attention to the appearance of clothes is not qualified for a supervisory position; a person who does car maintenance has stains on his clothes or dirt on his nails.It can be seen that clothing is the main factor in leaving the first impression on others.

(End of this chapter)