The Devil's Conversation Learning: Instantly Become Friends with Strangers

Chapter 19

If you're attracted to a woman, but you don't have the courage to approach her, it's time to lose.Perhaps, you may not even have the chance to see her again, let alone further development.If you act, and the method is right, that is another result.The probability of you and her developing into ordinary friends, lovers or lovers will be greatly increased.

Sometimes, you have to do the opposite, and keep a proper "cold" to those women you love, at least neither flatter nor derogatory, and strike up a conversation with peaceful language.At this time, a smart woman will doubt your motives, but she is not completely sure, which increases your chances of winning.However, this is also risky, you have to invest sincerity, and work hard to act.Otherwise, your blandness and tepidity will turn off the other person.Therefore, the mastery of the heat and the skill of striking up a conversation cannot be ignored.

03．Break through the emotional dilemma and master the secret of approaching the opposite sex
Interpersonal communication is regarded as an indispensable "vitamin" for human health, and plays a very important role in people's physical and mental health.Modern society emphasizes speed and efficiency, the pressure is increasing sharply, and interpersonal communication is becoming more and more utilitarian. Coupled with the complexity of emotion itself, many people become nerds and nerds.Leaving aside the external reasons, the important reasons are that the urban men and women themselves are not active enough in their communication attitudes and their communication skills are not flexible enough.

How to break out of the emotional dilemma?The following skills to strike up a conversation with the opposite sex are indeed worthy of careful consideration by older men and women.

One is the unexpected method.This method is suitable for both men and women.For example, a girl wandering alone on the pedestrian street, suddenly a guy approached him and politely asked: "Miss, what time is it?" The girl said apologetically, "I'm sorry, I don't have a watch or a mobile phone, so I don't know the time. At this time, the man who struck up a conversation stretched out his arm to reveal his watch and said, "I know it is 3:50 p.m. Beijing time. There is a movie opening at 4:[-] p.m. in the cinema over there. May I invite you to watch it?" Using this The caveat with this method is that it only works with subjects who have a sense of humor.

The second is the direct attack method.This method is equally suitable for both men and women.A girl came out of a cafe with a few friends, and the boy who had been paying attention to her in the cafe just now followed along.The girl smiled secretly, not knowing the meaning of such childish stalking.The boy speeded up to keep up, walked up to her in a few steps, stopped her with open arms, looked directly at the girl, and said very seriously: "Hello! My name is ×××, I am a third-year student in law at C University, and I hope to meet you." You, be friends with you." The girl and her friends laughed kindly.The girl said to him: "Hello, it's okay to be ordinary friends." The sincerity of the boy in the story is the biggest secret to the success of striking up a conversation, that is, in front of the other party who is at a loss, first introduce yourself candidly, so as to gain trust .

The third is the use of leisure time.This method is also suitable for both men and women.Xiao Wang went to Beijing on a business trip and was stranded at the airport due to a delayed flight. When he was bored, someone patted his shoulder suddenly.He turned around and saw that the person who took the picture of him was a beautiful woman. She asked, "Did you also take the ××× flight? It was delayed?" It turned out that the beautiful woman was also traveling alone.Xiao Wang proposed to go to the airport coffee shop for a drink together, and the beauty readily agreed.This method has a high probability of success.Taking advantage of the leisure time waiting for the plane to date, the environment and atmosphere are good, and there is a sense of travel loneliness, so it is easier to strike up a conversation.In the same way, this method is applicable on trains and ships.

The fourth is the light touch method.This method is suitable for both men and women, but in actual use, men use it more.A boy and his girlfriend are sitting on a bench in the park. The boy gently puts his hand on the girl's arm. The girl looks at her boyfriend, smiles charmingly, and leans her head on her boyfriend's shoulder... During the chatting process of young men and women Small movements like putting your hands on each other's arms at the right time can help build a subtle rapport between you.Touching satisfies the good intentions of physical contact on both sides, and you will find that your emotions have become peaceful.This small gesture can bring incredible benefits to both of you: the other party will no longer say "no" without hesitation when faced with your request.It can be seen from this that the more body language the better, but you must also pay attention to proportion, it will be weird if you are too close to someone you don't know well.

The fifth is the sincere praise method.When interacting with people, say what you appreciate about him. For example, a security guard in the community helped an old woman upstairs, and a girl immediately praised him when she found out.Don't think that this person is not bad but don't say it, say your appreciation, it will make both the security guard and yourself feel happier.Learning to praise others sincerely and actively, discovering other people's strengths and immediately praising him is the most interesting skill in striking up a conversation.You also open up when you express positive and positive opinions, which will further deepen the connection between the two parties.After a while, you will find that you are the biggest beneficiary.You know, giving is happier than receiving.

The sixth is to show a smile.For example, if two people who are not very close meet by some chance, if they can both smile during the strike-up, it will be a spring breeze, and it is very likely to develop a beautiful friendship, and of course it is more likely to be love.Don't think you have to be in a good mood to smile. Studies have shown that faking a smile is actually a psychological fake, and the mere act of smiling can also make you happier.Of course, the premise is that you are not psychologically uncomfortable at the time.And when we smile at others, it makes them feel more comfortable too.Most of us smile back, and this virtuous cycle does make us happier.

Seventh, it is hard to find the law with a confidant.Two girls were wandering around the campus, with nowhere to go, and were depressed. Suddenly they saw two boys passing by with guitars on their backs. The pleading moved the two boys' hearts, and they readily agreed to their request.In fact, everyone likes to show their strengths, especially those with special talents, and this reason sounds beautiful.

In fact, there are countless psychological techniques for successfully approaching the opposite sex. The key is that you can study hard and choose and use them according to your actual situation.What is certain is that mastering the skills of flirting with the opposite sex can greatly increase your success rate of getting married.

Extended reading: Strive to do a good job of "daily build"

There is a popular saying in the chat circle, called "daily chat".This word is actually not difficult to understand.However, the "daily hookup" mentioned here does not mean that you have to hitch up once a day, just like completing your work, but include it in your life, strike up a conversation every day, the number of times varies, and it is best to make yourself happy.As modern urban men and women, they are busy all the time.We can regard striking up a conversation as a challenge. It is a good thing to succeed, and it is an opportunity to learn if you fail.We can think of striking up a conversation as a way to make people smile. A "thank you" or a smiling face from the other party is an affirmation of you.Therefore, you don't need to chase victory desperately, it's best not to treat the other party as a trophy, otherwise you will also lose value accordingly.

If you want the opposite sex to like you, you have to make them feel for you; if you want the opposite sex to feel for you, you have to do something that makes them happy.Improve yourself a lot, let yourself become a master of chatting up in love!
04．Men should be cautious in striking up a conversation, be brave and resourceful and have a chance
Generally speaking, the initiative to strike up a conversation is mainly on the man's side.For men, chatting up strangers of the opposite sex is actually an opportunity to show their demeanor.In other words, when a man learns to strike up a conversation, he also learns how to show his demeanor.

Of course, it is not so easy for a man to strike up a conversation successfully.Generally speaking, men's strike-ups must not make people feel too casual. It is best to prepare in advance in four aspects.One is to learn to read the heart of the person you want to strike up a conversation with, and see which way to strike up a conversation is most suitable for him.It's best to win with one move, don't procrastinate, so as not to be entangled in your own strike-up language.The second is to strike up a conversation under appropriate circumstances.Pick up a conversation according to the occasion, not casually.The third is to determine the purpose of striking up a conversation, otherwise it will become more and more chaotic, and even the person who strikes up will be angry.The fourth is to have a sense of proportion in striking up a conversation, otherwise the object of striking up a conversation will be scared away, resulting in irreparable losses.

We know that striking up a conversation can exercise a person's communication skills, hone a person's self-confidence and self-cultivation.Picking up a conversation is a noble art that involves courage and wisdom.Picking up a conversation can help people build strong self-confidence, have a clearer understanding of themselves, change their views on the world, make their life attitude more positive, make life more enthusiastic, expand their social circle, and improve their You can also find a better partner of the opposite sex if you improve your communication skills, and so on.To this end, it is necessary to work hard to learn the skills of striking up a conversation, comprehend and master the methods and techniques of striking up a conversation.In this sense, sharing some other people's experience, such as the skills of talking to strangers, and what to say and how to say it, I believe it will inspire us.

First, strike up a conversation with unwavering confidence and a spirit of exploration.When we decide to strike up a conversation, what kind of psychological preparation should we make?This is the firm self-confidence and persistent spirit of exploration.The first psychological preparation for striking up a conversation is self-confidence.The biggest problem for anyone who has no prejudice against strike-up but can't move forward is psychological pressure, and psychological pressure stems from his own low self-esteem, always feeling that he is unattractive and unable to attract others.If this mentality does not change, it will be difficult to play a good level of strike-up.Only with confidence can you be chic and generous!Only with confidence can you be attractive!With self-confidence, you just have the psychological basis to strike up a conversation, so where does the motivation to strike up a conversation come from?This refers to the persistent motivation to maintain the strike-up.The success of career and love is something to come, for those who are new to strike up a conversation, that is too far away.In fact, there is only one driving force, and that is the spirit of exploration.

Anyone who is interested in learning how to strike up a conversation should not only have the spirit of exploration, but also have a strong desire.This desire is the desire to explore the law of strike-up, the desire to explore the method of speaking, and the desire to explore the law of interpersonal communication.It can be seen that the spirit of exploration is the only motivation for beginners, because the rules of swimming can only be discovered in the swimming pool, and the rules of strike-up can only be explored in the field of strike-up.

Second, regard respect for others as a prerequisite for striking up a conversation.Are you keen to strike up a conversation with the opposite sex just because of the attraction of the opposite sex?Absolutely not!To strike up a conversation with the opposite sex, you should have respect for the opposite sex in your heart.

We should be full of respect for our chosen target from the bottom of our hearts, even if we are rejected, we must maintain a psychological balance.If people are willing to continue to communicate with us, then we must treat each other with sincerity in the future.

Again, talk to strangers in a harmless way.From a psychological point of view, striking up a conversation is not harmful to society, nor to both parties, and it even brings happiness to both parties in many cases.It can be said that striking up a conversation is a healthy social behavior.In the current Chinese society with a relatively strong sense of tradition, striking up a conversation is not yet a widely recognized behavior.What is suitable to do in one place may not be suitable to do in another place. As for whether it is ethical, it does not depend on this thing, but on the occasion where it is done.Similarly, in public places, two strangers talking, getting acquainted, and calling each other is likely to be a new way of communication for post-industrial civilization human beings, and it does not mean that the two parties have any origin or intention.

Picking up a conversation is actually knowing yourself, because in the process of talking with strangers, your words and deeds will be noticed by the other party. At this time, whether your behavior conforms to the public's aesthetics and morals can be easily seen.The more people you approach, the closer your conclusions will be to the truth.

The last point is very critical, which is to use strike-up skills to avoid trouble in strike-up.Using strike up skills can save a lot of energy and trouble.

One is to adopt covert strike-up behavior.Picking up a conversation is a legitimate behavior, but some friends around you, especially female friends, may be very disapproving or even disgusted with your strike-up.Therefore, you should conceal your strike-up behavior, because concealment is much easier than explanation.The second is to pay attention to the way of thinking.In the process of striking up a conversation, you must pay attention to the innovation of your way of thinking, and don't get frustrated when you encounter a little setback or hesitate and don't know how to solve it.Don't make chatting up like "answering a reporter's question", otherwise when you ask for a phone number, the other party will either not give it or give an invalid number.The third is to have a sincere heart.In our lives, there are not a few people who are disgusted with strike up a conversation.When they are asked for their phone number, they usually respond in the following ways: secretly deceiving, that is, calmly reporting their phone number and changing the mantissa by one or two digits; directly refusing, such as saying "Sorry, I am sorry Not interested”; deliberate deception, such as saying “Sorry, I don’t have a mobile phone…”, in short, I just don’t want to talk to you; looking for a way out, such as saying “I’m going to change my mobile phone number, give me your phone number, and I will tell you when I change it “Let’s do it”; double deceit, that is, memorize some false numbers at ordinary times, and when someone asks you, but you don’t want to talk to the other party, you can just report one to the other party, and tell the other party by the way that your mobile phone is out of battery, and you can contact them when you get back.For these people, we cannot judge immediately, so it is important to have a sincere heart when striking up a conversation.If your sincerity can impress the other party or give the other party a good impression, the other party will probably leave you the contact information.In any case, your heart must be sincere, sincerity is your ultimate hardware.

Through the above analysis, we can see the way to strike up a conversation with a strange opposite sex, everything is inadvertent, and everything is expected.Intercourse with the opposite sex is an important lesson in life, but none of us have learned it well. Most of us simply apply the models learned at home to the outside world. The methods, theories and skills, and even the heart, are often very rough .And often discuss communication skills with friends, all experiences will gradually become more universal and more vital.

A good way to strike up a conversation can make a person; on the contrary, not being able to strike up a conversation will frustrate a person.We all have the desire to meet new people. Don't suppress this desire. It takes hard work to succeed.When you hesitate, good opportunities will slip away.Therefore, as long as you really master the skills of striking up a conversation and use it actively, you will definitely be able to open the emotional floodgates of the other party!
Further reading: How men can improve the success rate of strike up a conversation
It takes courage to strike up a conversation, but resolutely refuse to be blind.Before striking up a conversation, you must first have a rough plan in your mind, make a rough analysis of the goal, and think about the probability of "success".In addition, we must carefully observe the external characteristics of the other party, and have a general understanding of them through expressions, clothing, etc.Of course, when making this kind of preparation, don't get too close, otherwise it will only make the other party suspect that you are a pervert with evil intentions.

A reserved girl usually looks quiet and dresses conservatively.For this kind of girl, the man must not be too flirtatious, and can say something like "I think this book is not bad, what do you think?"Be careful, you must use positive language, and don't say things like this book is too ugly, or you feel disgusted after reading it.Because such statements may make the other party feel that you intend to belittle her taste.Maybe you will say: "What's the difference between this method and the above method, isn't it all chatting up?" If you think so, you are wrong.Picking up a conversation requires skill, and location and context are also factors that need to be taken into consideration.

Always remember that women pay more attention to whether two people can develop into friends before entering a possible relationship, and also use this as a litmus test for understanding men.At this time, the man maintains a calm mind in order to achieve the best strike-up effect.

05．Have you ever thought about being "chased back" by a woman?
(End of this chapter)