understand man in seconds

Chapter 19 The Phoenix Man

Glamorous cold-blooded animal
Understanding Men in Five Seconds No. [-]: Phoenix Man

Features: Phoenix men are generally born in poverty. It is through the sacrifice of the whole family and their own struggles that they have a brand new life.So the phoenix man has an almost cold-blooded obsession with success, and can climb up at any cost.Phoenix men generally have endless love for their parents, siblings, but when faced with choices, they are very ruthless.

All in all, the phoenix man wants to be successful and treats his parents and brothers better than his wife.

Love code: Being a husband and wife with him is really better than being a brother and sister.

True Stories Understand Men in Seconds No. [-]: Phoenix Man

There are often some women who come to me crying about their love life.

A few days ago, I met a middle-aged woman who was well-dressed. It looked like she came from a wealthy family, and her body was covered with famous brands.

But after taking off the sunglasses, I realized that my eyes were red and swollen, and I didn't know how many times I cried.

Many girls think that as long as they marry rich, their lives will be very happy.It's really not the case.I have seen too many housewives from wealthy families, and it is not bad to swallow their anger. Many times, if you want to endure, no one will give you a chance.

This rich lady is an example, let's call her Mrs. Chen.

When Mrs. Chen was young, she fell in love with a poor boy, who was really poor, a small worker who smashed cement and rolled steel bars at the construction site of Shenzhen Special Economic Zone.As for her, her family is regarded as an official family, and she is also a little powerful in the special zone.But somehow fell in love with each other.

After falling in love, there was an uproar.Between a family of officials and officials, and the small workers on the construction site, there is no hope of being a good family.Naturally, her parents strongly opposed it, so she was young and energetic, and broke away from the family, preparing to start a future with a man from nothing.

A woman who broke her family always has extra courage.The two started from a small shack next to the construction site, and started their careers single-handedly, from selling breakfast, making supper, and even cleaning toilets for others, to finally having their own restaurant and company.

Just catching up with the best period of the Special Economic Zone, they became the earliest generation of real estate businessmen. After more than ten years of hard work, they finally achieved success.

But at what cost?In the most difficult time, the woman had three pregnancies, and all of them had abortions for her career and for her men.There was an accident during the last abortion, which made it impossible to have children again.

I remember that on the night when the abortion happened, the man hugged the woman and cried all night.But the man said that even if they adopt a child in this life, he will not regret it, and in this life, he will not let down everything the woman has given.

Although I have experienced such a miserable experience, as a woman, I am afraid it is a regret in my life.But she still has no regrets, because she is willing to give everything for love, as long as love is there, everything will be there.

Time passed quickly, and both of them were over 40 years old. The man finally changed from a small construction worker to the chairman of a listed group, and became the top group of men.

As for that woman, she has already quit the company to take care of the elderly on both sides (after so long, of course she and her parents have reconciled), and her father has also retired from the officialdom and no longer shows up in public.

Mr. Chen is a real phoenix man.Although the term "Phoenix Man" did not exist in that era, Mr. Chen himself was willing to use Phoenix Man to evaluate himself later on.

The so-called phoenix grows out of the chicken coop, which is talking about people like him.

Mr. Chen comes from the mountains in the central and western regions. His family is poor, and there are several older sisters. He was born to complete the family line, and he couldn’t support himself even if he wanted to.

At that time, the roads were impassable, and it was difficult to transport mountain products out of the mountains, and it was also difficult to reclaim farmland on the mountains. Therefore, it was very hard for a few members of the family to plan food, let alone study, and even the trousers had to be worn by the whole family.

Once, young Chen met a relative who came from outside the mountains. The relative told him how exciting the outside world was, about the buildings in Shanghai and Beijing, and about universities.

Xiao Chen's heart was filled with the idea of ​​going out of the mountains to study.

But under the conditions at that time, how could it be possible?Parents and sisters were also sad to see Xiao Chen staring in the direction of the mountain and keeping silent all day long.

After much deliberation, after all, this is the only seedling of old Chen's family, so parents dug out all the family background, sisters also took out the dowry, and sent Xiao Chen to a primary school and a junior high school.Although it is compulsory education, you still have to buy textbooks, eat, and have a place to live!
After finishing junior high school, it is impossible to study further.Xiao Chen couldn't go back to the village even if he could read and write, so he made up his mind to go to Shenzhen to work.

That's when I went to work on the construction site, met Mrs. Chen by accident, and fell in love later.

Mr. Chen's experience is indeed legendary.He can be said to be the originator of Phoenix men. Compared with those who later passed the exam and struggled for 20 years to drink coffee with you in a cafe, he is more like a miracle than these younger Phoenix men.

After making money, Mr. Chen has an extreme obsession with academic qualifications.While doing business, he also had to study for exams.In that era, everyone said he was a Confucian businessman, but they were actually laughing at him.

It's good to make money, why do you still want to study?No matter how much you read, isn't it the life of a part-time job?

But Mr. Chen abruptly finished his university studies and took the postgraduate entrance examination. If he was not really too busy, he might even have to take the doctoral examination.

Mrs. Chen supports this matter.But Mrs. Chen's analysis is very incisive. In fact, Mr. Chen has too strong a low self-esteem because of his bad background, so he uses the way of constantly taking academic qualifications to make up for his low self-esteem.

Reading some books is actually nothing. What Mrs. Chen can't bear the most is that after Mr. Chen became rich, he took all his parents and sisters out of his hometown.

According to Mr. Chen, his parents and sisters have paid too much for his success. Now that he has developed, he must let them enjoy it and change their lives.

This is of course true.In fact, at the beginning, Mrs. Chen was very supportive and helped them arrange to go to the city.

But what Mrs. Chen didn't expect was that Mr. Chen wanted everyone to live together.Their family has a big villa, and Mr. Chen arranged it very well. All his parents and sister can live in it.

This stay makes Mrs. Chen very worried.

Mrs. Chen was born in a family of officials and eunuchs, and her living conditions are unimaginable to others, and she usually pays attention to the quality of life.

And what about the Chen family?Those are the mountain people in the mountains, nothing else, just this living habit, it is too far away.

Mrs. Chen was going crazy seeing the phlegm and melon seed shells all over the floor, and even her father-in-law could pee in the bucket.

After staying for less than half a year, a big quarrel broke out between Mrs. Chen and the Chen family.This quarrel was also an important cause of family changes later.

After Mrs. Chen quarreled with her in-laws and sisters, Mr. Chen kept saying that she didn't understand him.Annoyed, Mrs. Chen simply moved out and gave up the villa to the Chen family.

At that time, the two had a strong relationship, and it was impossible for Mr. Chen to let his wife live outside.This matter has been going on for a long time, and in the end Mr. Chen simply bought another villa not far away and let his parents and sisters live in it, which eliminated the disturbance.

But even so, the relationship between Mrs. Chen and her parents there is still very bad. On the one hand, it is because the living habits cannot be harmonious; on the other hand, almost everyone in the Chen family wants Mr. Chen to come No matter, it's like if one person attains the Tao, he must ascend to heaven.This made Mrs. Chen very dissatisfied.

At the beginning, if there was kindness, then it was okay to repay the kindness, but the relatives who couldn't get along with each other would help if they wanted to help, and come to live if they wanted to live. The whole day at home was like a hotel. Who can bear it?
This kind of non-contact life has passed for three years.Chen's parents didn't dare to say anything at first, but as they lived in the city for a long time, they became more and more dissatisfied with Mrs. Chen.

The reason for their dissatisfaction is simply that they cannot have children.

In the eyes of the elderly, it doesn't matter why they can't have children. The important thing is that the old Chen family is such a single seedling, and the responsibility of carrying on the family must belong to Mr. Chen.Can the Chen family be cut off from now on?

Naturally, the father-in-law and the mother-in-law couldn't bear such a thing as cutting off children and grandchildren. Since more than ten years ago, they secretly urged their son to find another wife.

At that time, Mr. Chen still protected women, but at this age, he has achieved great success and finally started to move his mind.

When Mrs. Chen heard from outsiders that this man was raising a mistress outside, she still didn't want to believe it.Later, I found signs several times, but I always pretended not to see them.

It wasn't until a few years later that Xiaosan directly brought her two children to live in the house to force the palace, and this Mrs. Chen's sweet dream suddenly shattered.

She originally thought that if she had love with a man, had so many years of struggle together, and had the identity of a wife, she would have no problems at all.

Even if a man really has a mistress, he will return to her sooner or later based on his original affection.

But it wasn't until the mistress entered the house with two children, a boy and a girl, that she realized that everything was wrong.

As soon as the parents-in-law saw their grandchildren, they immediately raised their hands in surrender, and refused to let go while holding the child.The mistress was straightforward. It is impossible for a woman like you to have children. Now we are a family of four, with big, small, and future. It's hard to say who is right and who is mistress.

Looking at Mr. Chen again, he was extremely difficult and entangled. Obviously, he also had a lot of affection for the mistress, and he couldn't let go of the two children.

Mrs. Chen suddenly lost all hope. She lost her love, her husband, and her home.The other party has the support of the parents, the caring man, and the support of the child.

What is left of her now?A marriage certificate?joke.

So, when she came to chat with me, she already had the plan of not wanting anything, leaving the house, and spending the rest of her life with her parents.

She just wanted to ask me, why did this man become like this, and where did the man who once swore to each other and was sincere in love go?

Identify Men in 5 Minutes and Understand Men in Seconds No. [-]: Phoenix Man

The first characteristic of Phoenix male:
They must be the hardest, the most fighting spirit, and the most tenacious.

Phoenix men are all born in poor families, and their living conditions are very poor since they were young, so that they will work crazily and struggle desperately to achieve the life that others can enjoy when they are just born.

In our lives, we can see that the hardest working and hardest is often the phoenix man.Because for you, studying and working is a burden, but for them, it is a gift from God to have the opportunity to study and work.

And a considerable number of Phoenix men show a tendency to be radical, to have serious interests, and to do whatever it takes in their work.

Their utilitarianism is too strong, so they can do everything in order to succeed.This is also the psychological transformation of individuals influenced by their family background since childhood.

People who have lived affluent since childhood are often not self-motivated or utilitarian.And a person who has lived in a difficult life since he was a child, now that he has the current opportunity and status, he will never allow himself to lose.

In a sense, they can be very cold-blooded in order to succeed.

Therefore, struggle is sometimes a commendatory term and sometimes a derogatory term.

The second characteristic of the Phoenix man:
No matter how successful they are, they always have low self-esteem and fear in their hearts.

Because of his birth, the Phoenix man relies entirely on his own hard work and struggle in order to have the same opportunities as others.But at the same time, what he lost, even what was missing was bound to be a lot.

Some people don't see the world until very late, or even know what KFC and Starbucks are after work.

Because of this, those things that were ridiculed by others and that I lacked at the beginning are always in my heart.

The characteristics of a person's inferiority complex are not fear or timidity, but transitional compensation.What was lacking in the past, I desperately made up for myself.

Educational compensation, food and drink compensation, and travel compensation are relatively common, and there is also female sex compensation.

Because they didn't pick up girls well when they were young, and they didn't have sex, so after they developed, they desperately looked for women. This is also the performance of some Phoenix men.

The third characteristic of the Phoenix man:
Always carrying the burden of the family, it is better for the family than for the wife and children.

Phoenix man has been taken care of by his family since he was a child, and even the whole family sacrificed to make him one.Therefore, many men carry the burden of the family.

After they achieve themselves, they will work hard to make everyone in the family live a good life.

This was originally no problem.But many people are prone to overcorrecting. They will bring the whole family with them, and no matter what the other party encounters, they must use their own resources to solve it.

In the end, it is likely to hurt your lover and children, and do your best to make up for others.

It is especially common in foolish loyalty and filial piety towards parents.

The fourth characteristic of the Phoenix man:
No matter who they have become now, they are still the same person they were when they were children.

What is the most difficult thing to change in Phoenix Man?It's not looks, it's not wealth, it's not status.

It is the attitude and values ​​of life, the old concepts that have always been attached to the body.

Even if he has lived in the city for a long time, even if he has completely become a fashionista, he will still come up with incredible old ideas all the time.

For example, it is necessary to have children to continue the blood line, such as patriarchal preference, such as living with parents to be considered filial piety, etc.

These views were injected into their blood when they were children.

Probably, it will never change.

(End of this chapter)