Don't worry, the years you want will be given to you

Chapter 3 There must be setbacks in life, but face them freely

If you don't feel tired, you have to love

The Internet is really a magical place. It can create many words that make people hear the same thing, and then use them so deeply, each one is more convenient and appropriate.

Such as green tea whore, such as black tea dregs, such as fat pigs, such as washing and cutting, such as feeling tired and not loving, and people are hard to break.

I always talk about tiredness and dislike.I don’t like tiredness when I can’t get off work, I don’t like tiredness when I can’t make it to the subway, I don’t like tiredness after eating too much at one meal, I don’t like tiredness after being constipated for a few days...

Of course, you can say that this is really nothing. According to this rhythm, everyone can feel tired and not love 98 times a day, and be defeated by love 108 times a day.However, at certain moments in life, there will really be a feeling of "I will never love again" from the bottom of my heart... Maybe you, me, and him can't avoid it.

Many years ago, I knew a very bohemian Miss W. Miss W looks cool, and she is a female classmate with a lot of stories.

At the beginning, in order to study in the same city as her first love, she chose a school that was much lower than her admission threshold.Of course, her parents were upset and threatened that if she didn't study hard and get a good graduate student in a school or simply went abroad to get rid of that man, they would cut off her living expenses. Ms. W is not afraid. She attends classes during the day and goes to nightclubs to sell alcohol at night.This was originally for her persistence in love, but was dismissed by her first love boyfriend as "part-time job is not serious".The relationship between the two fell into crisis, and they began to make all kinds of awkward noises.Half a year later, Ms. W went to Lijiang alone with the money she saved from part-time jobs. After returning to school, she broke up with her boyfriend peacefully. Ms. W said to me, "I had a breakup meal with him, and then he sent me back to school. I said no, let's break up. Then I looked at his back, tears came down, just Like a flood.

But I didn't cry out.At that time, a voice in my heart said: Oops, I may never fall in love with others again. "

As the battle turns and the stars move, the spring and autumn alternate.Not long after, Ms. W met the lead singer when she skipped class to join the music festival as a volunteer.The lead singer is unrestrained and loves freedom.

Miss W was fascinated. In her own words, it felt like walking into a cave full of treasures. She was so surprised that she didn't know what to do. Every step she took, the level of surprise increased by the size of a grassland.They discussed music and enjoyed drama. In front of Ms. W, it seemed as if a door to another world had been opened, and there were all kinds of things waiting for her to appreciate one by one.So Ms. W desperately tried to change herself in order to cater to the lead singer.Learn to cook, learn to dress up, learn to be a little woman, and learn to be a dick.

She followed Mr. Lead Singer to every performance scene, crazily took photos of Mr. Lead Singer from every angle, and worked part-time as fan captain, band logistics, personal assistant and other positions for free.But the biggest surprise Mr. Lead Singer gave Miss W was that his countless chaotic "personal assistants" were waiting for Miss W to attack.

Miss W gave up.On a sunny noon, she told me very seriously: "Remember, if one day I get married, it's definitely not because I love that person, I just want to prove to my mother that I can get married." At that time, she His tears once again burst like a flood.

After the story develops, there is actually no suspense. Ms. W graduated, got a job, fell in love, and fell in love again. Every time, she said that she would not love anymore, and then fell in love again desperately.

Fortunately, the story has a happy ending. The final hero is neither childish like first love nor quack like the lead singer. Ms. W's husband is a gentle and elegant "sunshine nerd". When Ms. W showed us her happiness, she said, "It turns out that love is when the pots and pans are full and burping on the road."

I said: "You said at least three times that you will never fall in love with others again. Are you a reliable woman?"

She said: "I have told you from personal experience that the so-called never loving again is nothing more than not meeting someone worthy of love when talking. Human emotion should be a strong spring. As long as the steel wire is not broken, it will always be able to fall in love." Fall back and fall in love again. And the more miserable you are, the more intense and correct your love will be when you bounce back.”

I think she's right, people are always fragile like potato chips, but they can't really be broken into slag like potato chips and wiped off. It's better to make springs, which can bend and stretch. As long as they keep going, everything Everything is possible.

I have accompanied more than one wave of friends to the bar to order the strongest wine and smoke the most choking cigarettes, protruding a gesture of "whatever you are playing, don't play with emotions". However, these friends have finally found their destination, happiness It was such a joy.

I didn't just let someone accompany me to eat potato chips and watch movies until dawn, and said, "Damn, I won't fall in love again. It's good to be alone." Received Dahong's marriage certificate and enjoyed the happy life of two people and one dog.Thinking of the "absolutely no love" I swore at the time, I can't help feeling ridiculous and nostalgic.

Not loving for a while, maybe it's not a big deal at all.Lovelorn, most of the human beings all over the world have experienced it.It's about the same number as a cold.What's serious and what's scary?

If you feel that you will not love and do not want to love, just wait slowly.Don't panic, don't despair.Time will take away everything. Although this sentence is said too much and it can wear calluses on the ears, it is definitely the crystallization of human wisdom-time will eventually treat every life equally and take everyone away mercilessly; All wounds will be healed equally, and time will definitely bring you the next beautiful relationship—provided that you haven't really closed your heart.

The days are so smooth and flowing, and life is so bloody.No one is independent, and no one can escape the rules of life.If you should drink alone with the shadow, you should drink alone with the shadow.Sometimes there is nothing wrong with going with the flow.Sometimes I deliberately force it, but I feel "tired and don't love".

If one day, at a certain 90° corner, you bump into someone who you can see and who happens to like your bones, even if he says to you such vulgar and hypocritical words as "I am willing to wait for you forever", And don't pretend to be reserved, let's go!
are you crazy!
A worried mother came to the office today, of course for the sake of her child, because her child is too studious and hardworking, and never goes out for activities, because the family forced him to enroll in swimming classes, and he applied to the school for boarding .

Every family has scriptures that are difficult to recite. Parents of bear children probably dream of having such a "good boy". When the child really becomes "good", they start to worry about his health, his future, and even what he will do. I don't even know that I won't find a good wife in the future.

The head teacher and the grade teacher comforted her together, saying that the child has the idea of ​​a child, and it is normal for this child to treat others. He doesn't like activities, so you can't force him, just take it step by step.But the mother started to sob, this child was so obedient when he was a child, he was what we say, how could he become like this when he grows up... As he was talking, his voice suddenly became shrill, you must help me!Their family has been passed down for several generations, and I only had this child in my 30s. He can't become like this, he can't just be so crazy!

The two men stepped back at the same time, this, XX mother, don't say that, how can he be crazy...

The mother was crying with tears all over her face, and she didn't listen to what the parents said. This is not crazy, what is it!
Our water dispenser has just been repaired, and everyone has no time to drink water in the morning. At this moment, everyone in the room is probably very crisp.After coaxing away the crying mother, the whole office collectively yelled: Crazy!
are you crazy!This godlike line not only summed up the film and acting skills, but also called out the voice of everyone.

It is said that people do not have neuropathy at first, but since they became parents, they have neuropathy, even if it is the premise of pity for parents in the world.With neurotic parents, the child will get neurotic sooner or later, and the severity is directly proportional.

Neuropathy is a very common topic, but people seem to be used to it as a curse word, ignoring its original meaning.

For example, when mentioning aesthetics, stream of consciousness, and postmodernism in class, many things related to neurosis are often mentioned. For example, when I said that an artist or writer was suspected of having mental problems and could not live normally, the tone was obviously very sad. The students They all looked like they couldn't hold back their laughter.So I suspect that whatever I say will sound to the students as interjections rather than sincere statements.

We have always advertised that education should be truthful, kind and beautiful, but if we seek truth, we will definitely not be able to achieve complete kindness and beauty.Don't think that students are still young, they are capable enough to bear some things, if they deliberately avoid talking about them, it will cause unpredictable consequences.

In fact, who is not crazy? As long as there is a living person, there will always be one or two quirks that are different from ordinary people.

The husband of a colleague has to tidy up from the beginning to the end as soon as he sees any changes in the layout of the house after returning home every day. The shoe boxes are arranged neatly according to the size from top to bottom, and every corner must be aligned.

When roommates hang clothes in college, they should leave the gaps between all the hangers exactly the same. When the clothes are put in the storage box, the waistline of the belt or trousers must be aligned with the horizontal bar pattern on the box lid.

Psychologists have said that there is such a detached, complete and authoritative "I" in the heart of the patient, which controls itself with harsh "musts"... causing the subject to have a neurotic suppression and denial of itself.

So generally speaking, people who are smart, sensitive, somewhat neurotic, and highly educated tend to fall into this kind of predicament, and these people happen to be creative people.

Zhang Ailing once said: "In occasions where there is no handover between people, I am full of the joy of life.

But I can't get over this biting little annoyance for a day. Life is a gorgeous robe covered with lice. "She is amazingly talented in literature, but she is also an out-and-out idiot in life. She has lived in the house for decades and can't find where the light switch is. It can be said that she has almost no ability to take care of herself.

These are probably things that will never be revealed in textbooks, but I really love to discuss them.In fact, many talented people who have achieved remarkable achievements in philosophy, art, literature, and science do not like people in ordinary social activities.

"Those who set up major events in ancient times not only have talents that transcend the world, but also must have perseverance."The so-called transcendent talents also come from perseverance, from the "nerves".Therefore, the best in various fields throughout the ages, because the spiritual world is too full or too depressed, so there are abnormal characteristics in various degrees in various spiritual levels.

It seems that among those who are talented and talented, they are more or less neurotic in life. Conversely, it is like Pu Songling's point of view: "Sexual idiots make their ambitions, so book lovers must work hard, art lovers Skills must be good; those who are undeveloped in the world but do not achieve anything are all self-proclaimed people who are not crazy"-it seems that only those who have achieved nothing will flaunt everywhere that they are not crazy.

Is Ruan Ji's cry of poverty a mental illness?Was Liu Ling insane when she was drunk and said that she could bury herself anywhere?Kong Rong thinks that there is no great relationship between parents and children, and he is even more insane.Needless to say, in foreign countries, apart from the well-known psychopaths such as Van Gogh, Kafka, and Hemingway, it seems that Napoleon’s narcissism, Caesar’s conceit, and even Mozart’s interest in excrement are not secrets.

There is a man who is very competitive and strives to be the first in everything, even games.He believes that he is destined to win. If the situation of the game is not favorable to him, he will not hesitate to cheat or forcibly tamper with the rules of the game so that he can win smoothly.This neurosis is de Gaulle.

Two writers were talking together, one of them complained that the publisher was in arrears of the manuscript fee, and the other said a few good things, so the complainer was furious, and the two fell out on the spot.The person who said good things wrote angrily in his diary that this person has become "crazy"!Of course, these two writers are well-known to everyone. Lin Yutang is the one who speaks well, and Lu Xun is the "crazy".

I remember that there was an issue of "Playboy" that said that the survey showed that allure is directly proportional to IQ.Geniuses, especially foreign geniuses, behave very freely.I don't know if IQ and seductiveness are directly proportional, but IQ and the degree of insanity must be directly proportional. It's just that the emotional intelligence is different, and the degree of exposure of each person's performance is different.

A little neurotic isn't all bad, there are things you have to be neurotic to do well sometimes.For example, cleaning cannot accept dust and stains, quality inspection cannot accept defective products, and literature and art must be dedicated.If what human beings pursue is only optimism, open-mindedness and healthy sunshine, without the above "crazy diseases", the world would have already stagnated.

Everyone's aptitude is different, and the acquired development is even more different. A perfect personality is just an illusion, let alone amazing wisdom.Therefore, what education should do is to make the best use of the situation and teach students in accordance with their aptitude: rotten wood and diamonds cannot have the same quality, but they each have their own uses and values;
There is no difference in status between red flowers and green leaves. Everyone is a hero. Who will applaud the hero?Everyone is only willing to applaud, who will be a hero who sacrifices his life?
What is really frightening is the foolish patients. They don't know they are sick, and think that they are all neurotics except themselves. The reason for their delusions is precisely their misunderstanding of themselves.The idiot disease causes them to lose or be forced to lose the creativity they might have had, and finally there is only a pure idiot left.

I have never met the aforementioned child who studied too hard, and I don’t know what kind of person he is, but I am very worried about him, worried that he will be forced into a real psycho by a stupid patient.

"When the childhood fantasies gradually faded, I found that I had nothing but the dream of a genius—all but the strange shortcomings of a genius. The world forgives Wagner's madness, but they will not forgive me."

——Zhang Ailing "Genius Dream"

stuck in the throat
A few days ago, Ms. N celebrated her birthday. A group of friends who hadn’t seen each other for a long time got together happily and had a delicious meal.However, when I got up to brush my teeth the next morning, I realized that a fishbone was stuck in my throat.

I didn't care at all at first, but after a day, I was surprised to find that it was still there!
I opened my mouth wide and looked left and right in the mirror, and my saliva dripped down. I finally found its trace, a big thorn!It seems a bit serious, no wonder it hurts so much.

When I was in middle school, I watched "Fairy Tale King". There was a story in it that Pipilu's father stuck a fishbone in his throat while eating. It was a big fishbone. Dad has become an incomparable singer, with an unbelievably wide range, and all three tenors in the world have given up.

I have to admire Zheng Yuanjie, he can write so well, and he can tell nonsense stories so vividly that I still have a fresh memory of Papa Pi's fishbone.Today, of course, I would not naively think that I have a chance to become the world's number one soprano, but this terrible thorn, what is it yearning for, it has stayed all night and refuses to leave!

Mr. X's reaction to my anxiety was very strange. He said, have you considered the feeling of fishbone?Do you think it wants to stay in your throat?Did you take care of it when you ate it? Did you just throw it aside when you saw it?Now you eat and eat and pull, and all your friends are gone, only its thorn is alone, and you still despise it...

Men's literature and art are really lethal. I feel like an ungrateful scumbag who eats up his pants and walks away. I'm really thinking about whether I deserve it.

On the first day of the fishbone, it was uncomfortable.

The second day after the fishbone was there, it was uncomfortable, uncomfortable.

On the third day of the fishbone, I feel uncomfortable, uncomfortable, uncomfortable...

These days, Mr. Fishbone is lying quietly in my throat, and it hurts a lot when I talk, it’s okay if I don’t think about it, and it hurts even more when I think about it.

A thorn in the throat and sand in the shoes seem to be fatal things. It sounds like nothing serious and will not affect your normal life, but it hurts you from time to time, enough to make you feel uncomfortable and even I don't think about food and tea, and I have a nervous breakdown.

If it was normal, I would have to pretend to be pitiful with the students, and be lazy by the way.But not long ago, I just rolled down the stairs on the empty ground. This semester's quota for committing second offenses has been used up. I can no longer explain to students that eating too much too fast has caused me to have a fishbone stuck for several days. Bar.No matter how open-minded he is, he still has this slight sense of shame.Grit your teeth and endure it.

The next time was suddenly very busy, all kinds of inexplicable things came one after another, I was on my back all day, and I fell asleep when I got home, and I didn't even bother to eat a bite.By the time it calmed down and had time to think about Mr. Fishbone, it was already the second week.

Of course it has disappeared, and when it left, who knows.

Only then did I feel that what my mother said was the truth, if I can't get it out, forget it, so what if I get stuck for the rest of my life!What a mess, what a fuss!
It seems to be the same with hiccups, either someone will come and scare you hard, or you can take a few long breaths calmly, but in most cases, just ignore it, just let it hit, and then there will be no more.

This reminded me of Xiaosi's long-winded and literary words, those things that we thought we could never forget, were forgotten by us in the process of obsessing over them.

This fishbone bothered me for several days, and I couldn't sleep or eat well. In the end, I was too busy to take care of it, so it disappeared.

Therefore, sometimes you feel that the pain is lingering. It is not because you have been injured too much, but because you are too idle.

You see, the truth is so simple, but I have used so many nonsense, just because although this feeling is simple, it cannot be obtained without personal experience.

what!Painful realization.

Some people lose their parents, some lose their love, some lose their jobs, and the people around them will surely comfort them—everything will pass.

Of course everything will pass, but only you know how the process is.And whether the pain disappeared in the end or left a scar or stayed in my heart forever, only I know.

But I feel that everything does pass, but it doesn't disappear completely.The pain may go away, but the shadows don't.It has really existed before, there is no reason to walk away waving its sleeves freely, it will definitely leave you something, otherwise its existence is worthless.

There are deep or shallow scars all over my arms and legs, some of which are not visible anymore, but I still clearly remember where there was a big hole cut by glass, and where I fell from a high platform and got bloody.There may also be traces of fishbone in my throat. Although I can't see it, it is not the original intact state.

Once in college I got burned by boiling water, just outside the joint of my big toe, and I was forced to wear flip flops through the summer.

The bulging blister on the scalded area is actually a perfect heart shape, and it is still pink, crystal clear and full. Meitu Xiuxiu can't do it so just right. It looks cute and disgusting. There are many visitors every day. endlessly.

I don't have this kind of elegance.

How could it be possible? When I first got burned, I stayed in the dormitory with my legs crossed all day. My ankle was swollen like a big radish. I was afraid of getting infected, but I didn’t dare to pierce it. I only walked on thin ice every day, and I felt relieved until I recovered. .

The blister on the foot is a beauty, and I can only hope that it will disappear soon.Because it is a pain and a fragile wound, I have absolutely no reason to love it, not to mention that it only appeared because of my stupidity, not the traces of battle and blood-stained demeanor, it is not worth showing off.

A strong man like Hemingway should be happy to show his scars, which are the proof of his life experience, and others will only be in awe when they see it.Of course, such a person would not be afraid of pain or injury, but he probably wouldn't find a place to take risks for the sake of pain and injury.

Pain doesn't pass away without a trace. Since it existed, it must have affected you. You must remember something to prevent stupid mistakes from happening again in the future.

For me, it means knowing how to cherish life and stay away from danger, knowing how to avoid harm, and how to reduce the incidence of harm.Also know how to resolve after being hurt.This is the real lesson learned in exchange for blood and tears.

When you repeat a knowledge point ten times in class, if students can remember it, they are already studying hard, let alone something more complicated than learning?
A person's life is so short, how many books can he read and how many roads can he walk?Don't expect to be instantly enlightened and become a Buddha instantly.

Now I should be able to tell you whether the man in front of me is frivolous or prudent, his eyes are firm or floating, his style is low or good, his quality is not good or good; and what kind of wine he is, what brand he is, what his vision is.But how can I be born with insight, how can I tell you how many scumbags I have met, and the fighting scum among the scumbags, in exchange for this little understanding today.

If I knew that the person I fell in love with at the beginning would make me afraid to avoid it later, would I still love?It's hard to say.If I go back in time and start over, I really can't guarantee that I won't make fewer mistakes from the past.

I still remember that winter, that man drank too much wine, stood downstairs and frantically called, and desperately asked me to go down to see him.All I had to do was notify a group of his friends, and ask them to come and pick him up soberly, then turn off the lights and go to sleep.Lying on the bed, I was surprised at how cold and impatient my tone was just now.

If the time goes back a little, it doesn’t take much, just one year, and he said you came to see me, I think I would still go there regardless of my own safety.

When did this feeling disappear, I don't know, but I know it has been too long.

In seven or eight years, all the cells in my body have been replaced, and I am no longer the original me. Only then can I truly let go of the past.

But has the past really passed, I don't think so, it will never pass.Some pain can be forgotten, some hatred can be dispelled, but some can't.I still resent hearing something about someone, as if it were a blemish on life.

I guess it's not paranoia.It’s just that I’ve walked this section of the road really hard, like grabbing a handful of thorns all the way, sometimes climbing to a high place, and sometimes giving up on myself, feeling that I can’t make it through.

Everyone will experience setbacks. Although it is often said that setbacks make people grow, it does not mean that these setbacks should happen. If you can choose, who doesn't want to grow up smoothly, safely and carefree.

The reason why I am willing to look back on the past again now is that I have a clear conscience. I have not done anything wrong to anyone or violated my conscience.If I'm wrong, it's just a mistake, just being cheated.It’s no big deal, but I won’t just forget it so easily, even if you get stuck with a fishbone or scratched with a knife, you won’t forget, you must be careful when using a knife when eating fish next time, not to mention other things are more important thing?

Although forgetting the past does not necessarily mean that the betrayal is so serious, but if the scars are really healed and the pain is forgotten, wouldn't it be a pity for your persistence and courage to overcome difficulties?

The world is so big, how can there be so many useful things
Zilu lives in Shimen.Chenmen said, "Xi Zi?"

—— "The Analects of Confucius Xianwen"

Every time I talk about an article in "The Analects of Confucius", I must skip this one.In my opinion, "my way is consistent", "teaching without distinction" and "drawing inferences from one instance" are principles that have direct guiding significance in learning and life, but "knowing what can't be done" reflects a different realm.

There are a lot of things where you work towards your goals and you have a good chance of success; but there are also a lot of times when it's the other way around.The so-called "knowing what can't be done" is not something that cannot be done, but something that is basically impossible to achieve, and many people think that it is "a thankless effort".

Just as Sisyphus knew that he would never be able to push the stone to the top of the mountain, Confucius also knew that his goal of "restraining oneself and returning to the rites" was very slim.

Some ideals are doomed to be impossible to realize, so what should we do? Just give up chasing?

Some people say that it is not a waste of effort to tell students this, can they understand it?

I have to admit that most people don't understand, only a few children show a state of understanding, but they still seem to have a little understanding.I also know that the chances of getting this on the test are slim, but I still think I'm going to tell them, even if they don't understand.

Students often ask, what is the use of learning this?

Of course, I have thought about this kind of problem before, but looking at it now, at least what I have learned is useful to me. It at least allows me to have a job and a fixed income, so that I will not achieve nothing.

But they are different, they are destined not to inherit my mantle in the future, and they will not engage in "the most glorious career under the sun", so I often don't know how to answer them-I mean, how to answer them in a way that they can understand them.

We do have a lot of time to question, what am I doing, what is the use of this?

So, what is "useful"?For students, it may be that this test is required, and if you pass it, you can get high scores and get into a good school; for adults, this can be used to evaluate job titles, count performance, raise wages, and make money.From this point of view, there are very few "useful" things.

Why did Han Yu admonish and welcome the Buddha bone? Didn't he know that the emperor would kill him in a fit of anger?Why did Hai Rui resign from office? Doesn't he know that his behavior has no effect on the dark officialdom?Why did Shi Kefa fight against the Qing Dynasty? Didn't he know that he was doomed to fail?Why does Tan Sitong want to reform? Doesn't he know that he is bound to die?

Is it because it is "useless" and because it is "thankless" that it annihilates conscience and rejects the light, and bows to stupidity and viciousness?

All things, regardless of the probability of success, must be done before they can be successful.If you just think that the result is not good and refuse, and you don't even have the chance to see the result, what qualifications do you have to judge success and failure?
When I first started working, there was an open class competition for newcomers in the school, and the topic I got was "Speech at the Tomb of Marx".This luck made me speechless, but I had no choice but to bite the bullet and prepare.

In order to prepare for the lesson, I looked through many materials that I hadn't paid attention to before, and even searched for papers from the Academy of Social Sciences.It was the first time I seriously pondered the meaning of historical materialism, and found that I had misunderstood so many things in the past.

As a contestant, I didn't grasp the progress.I originally wanted to end the class with a piece of Bach, but the stereo in the classroom was out of order and could not be played.It was a very tragic melody, and I felt sorry for the judges not being able to hear it.

The general situation is gone, so he simply made up his mind and finished what he wanted to say.In any case, this is indeed the best social conception of mankind so far.That's what it's all about.Therefore, the regret of losing is still relatively light.

Because during the period from preparation to the end, my excitement has shifted, and I feel that I have been baptized in the process: put limited energy on ideals, and move towards the goal at any cost, not for myself, nor for myself. For a few people.

Of course I feel that I am ridiculous, but I seem to really understand the word "great".

I think of a senior teacher who told me that when she first went to work, she also took an open class, and she took "The Altair Altair" from the 19 ancient poems, Du Mu's "Autumn Evening" and Qin Guan's "Magpie Bridge Immortal" put together, the sky and the earth, several lives, very romantic.

She was so popular that another teacher, who was competing with her, almost felt that she was doomed to lose, just read a few lines from the lesson plan and scribbled the end.

But when the final result was announced, it was the teacher who read the lesson plan all the way won, and represented the school in the city-wide competition.The reason is said to be that a leader of the judging panel thought that the teaching plans of the senior teachers were not complete enough, did not indicate the teaching objectives, did not inform the important and difficult points of teaching, and asked too few questions, which did not meet the requirements of the new curriculum standards.

I have listened to that teacher's lectures "Moonlight Night on the Spring River" and "Sleepwalking in Heaven" many times. After reading the text [-] times, I still feel excited.Many teachers from foreign schools were also deeply moved. They said that the class was really good, and we also imagined it like this, but...

As a teacher, your own space is really limited.The real value of a teacher does not lie in the level of the title, the amount of salary, or even whether your students finally get good grades in the exam.Teachers have a profound and subtle influence on students. What you teach students should never be just the knowledge and skills to cope with exams.

At the end of "I heard that Kirishima is going to quit the club", movie lover Maeda held up the camera and took pictures of the famous campus celebrity Hiroki, sighing enviously, he is really handsome!But Hiroki burst into tears after hearing his words.He felt that although he had girls' pursuit and basketball skills, his ideals were blank.Maeda, an inconspicuous little man on campus, knows that his future has nothing to do with movies, but when he talks about making movies, his face is still full of light. Come.

If this movie is released in China, the box office is estimated to be a tragedy, because it talks about the crap of children playing house in the eyes of adults. There are no big scenes, big stars, and no ups and downs. The plot is involved superficial.But the advantages of some Japanese movies are just here. They don't flaunt inspiration, don't avoid darkness, are delicate and rigorous, and are done in one go.Some youth sketches do not even have any "plot" in them, but their narratives are so precise that anyone who has gone to school can capture some fragments of the past that belong to them.

In the bewildered life, whether you can find your own place, what is your ideal, and what will happen in the future, aren't these all important contents in your respective lives in the future?
One morning last winter, I put the drowsy students in the classroom on the playground to play in the snow.Watching them rolling in the snow for a class, the group portrait of small animals running like wolves, I suddenly remembered the famous line in "The Blue Gate": what kind of adults we become .

I wasn't the only hotheaded teacher. We were all called in by the principal to teach us a few words, but the expressions on everyone's faces were not serious.I know that the principal has no objection to us going out to play in the snow, but he is afraid that we will not be able to explain if there is a danger, and he is afraid that someone will make an opinion and cause trouble.

I'm not a young man who only knows how to go forward bravely. The principal has far more worries than me, and I don't want to make things difficult for him, but I will still choose to play freely within the allowed range.

Compared with excellent grades and dazzling scores, I hope that all students can become people who love life and are full of sunshine in their hearts.Although this wish is as remote as Confucius' goal of restoring Zhou rites.

When I watched "Jurassic Park" when I was a child, I felt that it was unsurpassed. When I grew up, I saw a lot of complaints about it, and I felt that it was a sharp knife that burst the dream bubble.But so what, there will still be dreams that you want to dream, and those who should dream will still dream.

I told the story of the Little Mermaid to a loli who just started primary school. After listening to it, she was silent for a long time and asked me, why did the little mermaid end up like that?I think it is difficult for me to explain love to her, so I said noble.She was silent for a while, and asked me again, what is noble.She was too young to have that much vocabulary, but she was clearly moved by the story.

After all, children are children, and they are still willing to believe in these things that have long been despised and discarded by adults.

Therefore, while they are still children, I would like to tell them more of such "useless things". Two words of nonsense, that is my greatest success as a teacher.

Maybe I am still a naive person at heart.As a teacher, I am far from erudite, but I am willing to keep my heart forever.

Sincerely, I just can't say
It was a long time ago, when I was just working, I took a child to participate in a speech contest in the city, the result was very good, there were two first prizes, and he was one of them.I thought this incident would end in a mild manner like this, but I didn't expect it to have a follow-up.

The student entrusted someone to bring me a letter, to the effect that he was very sad because he didn't get No.1, especially felt sorry for me, and also felt sorry for the teacher who recommended him, etc.

I was at a loss, thinking that some teacher who was striving for perfection asked him to find fault, and asked him around. Of course, no one has ever done such a boring thing.Originally!This kind of speech contest itself is a very secondary existence. It is not a math, physics and chemistry competition.Therefore, let alone the first prize No.2, even if it is the first prize No.1, the provincial first prize and the national first prize, at most it is just a glimmer of light in the evaluation, and it will not have much effect.

But a student is always a student, so of course he doesn't know the truth, and I can't just tell him the truth.

He paid so much attention to it, and he was really sad. The whole article was full of self-blame, and I couldn't help feeling depressed.

He said that he felt sorry for me because I worked hard to tutor him many times; and I told him before that our school has been No.1 in this kind of competition over the years, but he failed .

My God, I just said it in passing, and my intention was to comfort him not to be too nervous, as long as we play steadily, there will be no problem, if I had known that he would think so much, I should just not say anything.

The letter also said that on the way back, I didn't say anything. I must be very disappointed in him. He didn't do well, so I should be disappointed in him.

I just don't know what to do, can I tell him that I am in a daze when I don't speak like this?And I don't talk to him because I don't know him well and have nothing to talk about?Can I tell him that I'm not disappointed at all, because I didn't have any so-called "hope" in the first place, and I didn't take this matter to heart at all?
The other teachers shook their heads when they heard about it. The children in the experimental class are used to getting No. 1. If they don't get it all at once, they will collapse. Their psychological quality is too bad.

It's too scary, I will collapse if I don't get No.1, what kind of mood is this!I am glad again that I have never been such a high-profile student, and I have never thought of pursuing No.1 to the end.

But these, a student, a good student, how could he understand!At such a young age, the light in his eyes is still seeking knowledge, and he knows too little about the rest of his life.Maybe he has been educated since he was a child to be the first and be the best. If not, then he has done something wrong and needs to reflect.

poor child.

Not long after receiving the letter, the child’s father called me again. I couldn’t laugh or cry, so I had to tell him the truth. In my opinion, No.2 was not a mistake. It was still the first prize anyway. Again, it really doesn't matter to us.

The father obviously paused, as if I said something very irresponsible, and then babbled, repeatedly explaining how good his child was before, and he had won the championship in various competitions. I made a mistake knowing why, is there something tricky about No.1...

I was impatient and had to interrupt him: You think too much, your child is indeed very good, but there are others, is it possible that there is someone better than him?This is not a track and field competition. It is clear at a glance who is taller and who is farther and who is faster. There is always a gap in manual scoring, and there is no way to avoid it. What's more, the gap between the first and second this time is only a few decimal places...

Besides, this kind of competition, don't say there is nothing tricky, it doesn't need any tricks at all.

There are some other things I am embarrassed to say: You are an adult, and I heard that you are also a teacher. You should know more about this matter than I do. Why do you want to educate your children like this?People live like this for a lifetime, and what happened when they were in school is nothing to look back at. Losing a relationship, losing a job or even getting married is just a process. Failures account for the majority of life, and it is not only success that can motivate people to grow.

I wrote back to that child, I forgot what I wrote, I just remembered that I wrote a lot, a big pot of chicken soup for the soul, and told him roughly that I was not disappointed in him, he has done a good job, and he didn’t need Too concerned.

Really, don't worry too much about it.Of course I understand what a student thinks, most of it is not for myself, but for others—what do my classmates think, what do my parents think, what do my teachers think...everyone who has experienced it understands it, but in fact, everyone has nothing to do with it. Expected, and if there was anything we expected from him, he delivered.

I seemed to have said a lot of very inspiring words at the time, but now that I think about it, what I want to tell him the most is that some things are not that you don’t need to care too much, but that what you can do if you care.It sounds cruel, but isn't life full of hardships and malice sometimes?

What you call the best is only the best you can achieve, but what about the others?The world is so big, there is no so-called "best" at all, and some are only relative.The scary thing is not that you didn't get the first place, but that you actually think that you should be the best, so it's a matter of course, why?
Not to mention anything else, let’s just talk about this competition. There are several people waiting for the final selection. I think another boy has a better voice, and the team leader thinks that another girl is good at speaking and has rich practical experience. Only one teacher mentioned You, but he said, this child has a good temperament and looks okay.

It was so hard to choose, how did you decide in the end?draw lots.

No one thinks that your strength is the best. Those children who are not selected may be more qualified and capable to win the game than you.You are just more lucky than others, but if I tell you this, will you accept it?
Goethe said that it is only a moment that determines a person's life and his entire destiny.Maybe this statement is reasonable, but I want to say that it is not you who make these split-second decisions, but fate.

It's ridiculous to say that the kid at No. 1 didn't speak the best, but he added a libretto himself, and he sang mediocrely, but the score in the column of form was a little higher.I don't think it's a "new form", I think it sucks, but the judges think he is good, what can you do?If there is no formal score, then you are the first, but how can there be so many "ifs"?

Speaking of tricks, I hope your dad takes this head-on, it might have, but it's not a reason for you to complain.What's more, if there is, there is nothing you can do about it.

I have a friend who ranked first in the written test of the civil service examination, and her interview results were not bad. She thought she had a chance to win, but when the results were announced, she was overtaken by a person who came in third in the written test. Not much, just 0.5, but just With this 0.5, all her previous efforts were wasted.Can you say she didn't do well?There is always someone better.

So, can you blame the shady?It's unlikely, but even if there is, people can hack into the interview, so what can you do?
Wang Anshi had a saying: "If you try your best, but you can't achieve it, you can have no regrets, so who can ridicule it?" You have learned it, and you may be familiar with it, but do you really understand what he means? ?If the reality cannot allow us to win in a fair manner, then at least we must be able to lose with a clear conscience.

But if you think about it, how difficult it is to "do my best", how can I do my best?
Many times we are not sure whether we have put in our best efforts, so we always feel that we should work harder, and we can work harder.In fact, many times, the pay and results are often out of proportion.

In this world, the vast majority of us are small characters, people who speak lightly, have no father to fight for, and only have our own innocent efforts and enthusiasm to meet the slim hope.Many people can pass with [-] points, or even lower, while some people may not be able to achieve [-] points.

The world is never fair.

When chatting with the students, N said, actually, you don’t have to worry about failing the exam. After finishing one, there are still two and three books. If you really can’t pass the exam, you can do it again for another year, or you can send it abroad if you have some money at home...

The student smiled and said, Teacher, our family is poor and has no money! N is stern, has no money, and knows that he has no money and still doesn't go to school!
I once saw a student standing with his head down in the office. It is said that his grades in love affairs have dropped seriously.Their homeroom teacher was not polite at all: "What do other girls like about you? You are not good-looking, you are not tall, you are not good at sports, you are not very good-natured, and you have no money at home. Think about it. Can I fall in love with you? Isn't it because you have good grades and you are a bit pursuing! Now your grades are not good, what else do you want?"

The teachers all said that this is too cruel, why tell the truth to the children, it is difficult to tell the good people!

The teacher took a few puffs of cigarettes: "I'm not afraid of them falling in love, I'm afraid they won't be able to bear the blow if they fall out of love! The psychological quality is so poor..."

Of course teachers want all their students to be successful, but this is usually just a figment of the imagination.

But in any case, I hope that if you are a person who is truly full of sunshine in your heart, it is of course a good thing to be able to stand out, but there is nothing wrong with being an ordinary person.

Su Shi said, "I hope that I will have more than one son, and I will come to Gongqing without any disasters or difficulties."This is probably the best expectation of all parents and elders in the world for their children, right?
Sometimes, the true heart, just can't tell you.

I am compassionate to the world

God really doesn’t make it easy for human beings. He always designed this kind of disease and that kind of disease. Two days ago, Kai-fu Lee’s cancer made me feel infinitely sad for a long time. I found out that Xue Manzi is also a cancer patient... Does this explain a very profound thing from the side? Question, because it's too profound, let's use your imagination.

Among these many diseases, most of them are worthy of sympathy. Even if someone has a bad cold and drags two snotty noses in the wind and rain, I will hand over a pack of napkins cheaply: wipe it, don’t use your sleeve .

It can be seen that I am full of sympathy for the world.

But there is a kind of disease, when I get sick, I just want to lift the fly swatter and hit her hard. After the shot, I throw the medicine on the girl's face and give her an infinite 2-cycle hotline number to ask her to find a psychiatrist. This kind of disease is ——Princess disease.

The reason why I have such a deep psychological shadow on the princess disease probably stems from when I was a teenage larva, my tablemate with a serious princess disease.

She never brought a ballpoint pen, and when I lent her she said that my pen was not easy to use and had no fragrance; she always didn’t bring textbooks, and I shared them with her, and she said my books were untidy without a cover; such a girl has no future , I wrote my homework for her to copy, and she said my handwriting was ugly and I couldn't read clearly.

In the end we moved our seats because I pretended to accidentally poke her thigh with a compasses. The teacher said I did it on purpose, but in fact I did, because my deskmate told me that she felt that she was the reincarnation of Lin Daiyu, with fairer skin than a snowman. Loves to cough and can write poems and paintings, isn't this Lin Daiyu but also salted octopus?It's okay for her to have this point of view herself, and I must be forced to agree with it.So, compasses came into play.

To this day, I still regret that I didn’t commit a felony when I was under 18 years old, and I wouldn’t be shot, eliminating a scourge for mankind.

Later, I took the college entrance examination, went to university, and lived in the same city as me!God is unfair!Not far away!
Because of the fellowship, I have to be invited out every week to make Pizza Hut with her AA. Can I say can we not eat pizza?She said I can't even afford pizza.

I have to be invited out every week to go shopping in the mall, and if I don’t want to spend on Only, Eland will be told that I have no money and can’t even afford famous brands...

Later, every time she excused not to go because she had something to do, she said, are you working part-time to make money?Don't your parents give you living expenses?
Fortunately, she finally found a boyfriend, and she complained to me immediately, saying that she has a bright future, but her family is poor and working class.But it doesn't matter, just be nice to me.

……

Her boyfriend from a working-class family drives her big Mercedes every week to take her to a "farmyard" in the suburbs for vacation!

Of course, the two later separated.

Her working-class boyfriend was intimidated by her intimidation.And she's not "working class"

My parents came to Beijing in a group to find a working-class family to ask for a house or a car.

At that time, I didn't know what appropriate words to use to describe her, I only knew that the roar of beating her chest was disgusting, disgusting and disgusting!Later, when the princess disease spread widely, I felt the joy of chrysanthemums blooming.

There is a strange saying in the market: girls should be rich.My aunt has an understanding of this: if the daughter is not rich, goes to college, and has so many temptations, she will embark on the path of making money improperly.Can my aunt's words be summed up as: Bitch from a poor family since ancient times? ——This, in fact, depends on the individual. Of course, you can give examples of a bunch of poor girls who massage their feet in the streets and alleys, but there are also many poor girls who work hard and live their lives down-to-earth.Generalizations are always biased.

Even if being poor will force good people to become prostitutes, then how to make a good trade-off between bitch and princess disease?

I think it is probably right to enrich a girl, but this enrichment should make her spiritually rich, know what can be done, what can't be done, how to face poverty, how to control wealth, and materially, if it is not so bad, then It's okay, there's no need to sell blood to buy a Barbie doll for my daughter.Then the blood was sold out, and she still wanted Barbie, so she had to sell herself.

Of course, parents are blamed for genetic enlightenment, and personal practice is still blamed.

For example, my princess is at the same table, and the rest of the people hate her. Why is there a problem with her sensory organs, but she still feels overwhelmed without knowing it?Is it still someone else's problem even if you hit a wall everywhere?

It is possible that patients with princess disease also have mild psychosis.For example, Sister Feng and Sister Furong.No matter how their team hypes their concept of counterattack and enduring hardships in the later stage, they will not be able to change their essential attributes of princess patients + psychopaths.

I think there is a princess living in every woman's heart, who has attracted so much attention and made countless princes kneel and lick without regret.And every woman tries to look like a princess, or a queen.

Dreams are neither right nor wrong.Dreaming will never be arrested and shot.However, if you don't wake up from the dream, and try to include your real partners in your dream, you are likely to be covered with a quilt and beaten up.

No one lives in a vacuum, princess!Even if you are a perfect drop of water, you try to leave the sea and float in the air to appreciate yourself?The sun will turn you into water vapor in half a minute.When it's time to go down to earth, put away your princess wings.

When you especially want to be a princess, buy yourself a bottle of Anna Sui, buy a piece of Victoria’s Secret, fill the bathtub with water and sprinkle a few roses to enjoy yourself. If you are a female student, you should be a female student. If you are a female spy, you should be a female spy.

On a business trip last week, I went to a place where nothing shit happens with a colleague. When the autumn wind blew, I was starving to death, and the sanitation conditions of the small restaurants that had no choice but to open were very poor.A colleague said that she couldn't eat this bun, and she felt disgusted by all the buns, such a big lump of meat couldn't get into her throat.I ate two and packed two.

In the middle of the night, with a rustling sound, a strange figure swayed in the room, rustling out the buns, and trying to heat them with a kettle...

It seems that when there is hunger, the princess will go down to earth.

(End of this chapter)