Don't worry, the years you want will be given to you
Chapter 1 Uncontrollable sadness, slowly learn to hide
Chapter 1 Uncontrollable sadness, slowly learn to hide
Love yourself enough to have no enemies
I always wanted to be the prettiest girl in the class, but unfortunately my mother only allowed me to wear school uniform from Monday to Friday. She wanted to shave me to a size and forced me to eat a lot of meat and carbohydrates, which made my body look horrible. ;I want the most likable boy in the class to like me, but it's a pity that he doesn't even look at me...
My childhood was very pale, just playing, playing, playing; my adolescence was not rich, just fighting for the first, fighting for the first, gritting my teeth to be the first.
I hate people who take my first place, I don't like the prettiest girl in my class, I hate girls who have sex with the boy I have a crush on...
I'm always unhappy, there are obstacles in front of me, one goes out, and another, what's more exasperating is that sometimes the obstacles are there, and I can only swallow my anger.
At that time, Er Chou and I became best friends. Sometimes making friends is the same as falling in love, they are complementary.I don't like to play with people with the same temperament as me, as if I see myself in a row of mirrors - like a bullfighting bull, remembering to fight everywhere.Getting along with Er Chou is relaxed and happy.When she was depressed, her chubby face swung there, as if writing a banner:
Let nature take its course.It can give me some comfort when I'm on the edge of a dead end.
The process of finding yourself doesn't start until after college.Because I was timid during the college entrance examination and did not dare to fill in the Top 1 in my heart, I settled for the second best. After I went to a school that could be regarded as my favorite, the gap was so big that I couldn't add it.This kind of inexhaustibility forced me to re-examine myself. Besides the first, what is more interesting?Apart from self-study and memorize words and formulas every day, what more meaningful thing is there to have a crush on boys?
This time is the first, and there will be next time, it is hard to guarantee that it will be the same every time, so I am always lost. I will forget the words I memorized today, and I will be very irritable. As for the boy I have a crush on, why are there so many bells and whistles flying around him? Little butterflies, who would lend me a beat to beat them to death one by one!
Hey... endless... I want to be detached.
So I bought a second-hand bicycle and wandered around Beijing. Sometimes when the weather was bad, I took the bus, strolled around the alleys, ate snacks, and looked at all kinds of people in Nanluogu Lane. Facial flattery, listening to various lectures.I also spent all my living expenses on clothes, from first-tier to second-tier to zoos to street stalls. I began to read fashion magazines, study makeup, and be obsessed with emotional strategies. Once I found it interesting, but the second time, I was even more lost.
As if in a fog, I don't know who I am and what will happen in the future. The more serious problem is:
Not knowing what you want—or, wanting everything, not being good enough.Makes me more fidgety than when the only thing in my life was being number one.
Er Chou lives peacefully in another university, just reading books, shopping, gossiping and going to class, but she is always at ease, her QQ signature never changes, it has always been—I am Er Chou and I am afraid of whom.
I have to say that Er Chou's realm is N levels above me.
In fact, life is based on the word "enlightenment".When I was in high school, my political teacher said, sometimes, if you don’t understand something in the liberal arts, you have to understand it.I gave him a bad review on the spot, how could he be enlightened?What can't be explained?
Later, I realized that there are really things that need to be "enlightened". Of course, it is not limited to high school politics.
I can’t remember exactly what happened to me. Maybe it’s one thing, or maybe it’s a series of things. I understand that it’s not that difficult to be happy, as long as you—be yourself.
But there is probably only one prerequisite for being yourself, which is to love yourself.I have never really loved myself much. I always hope that I will become better, taller, thinner, more knowledgeable, and more connotative... In short, I have infinite needs and infinite desires. I hope that I am the pure and perfect man in the legend. .But I never smiled in the mirror: You are also very good!
What I love is not myself at all, but idols, real and virtual.Whoever graduates has an annual salary of N3, I want to be him; whoever loses 30 pounds in 100 months, I want to imitate him; whoever memorizes [-] words a day, I want to learn from him; whoever always begs boys Like, I want to study her.
I am very motivated, however, I sometimes feel miserable.
In Faye Wong's song, "Idols are nothing more than that, idols who have been addicted to each other, disappear one by one..." So who is who's idol is nothing more than yourself.
Er Chou understood this problem as early as adolescence, and she rarely compares herself with others.Live your own life comfortably and contentedly. It may seem too peaceful. Sometimes you will be said that you are not active enough and hardworking. However, you have everything you need. Take your time and live slowly. Shouting the slogan "Jiliu Yongjin" will lead to misfortune, so it may not be a good choice for life.
I certainly think that life needs to be transcended.However, life also needs to be affirmed.If you draw a big cross on your past achievements and current appearance whenever and wherever, no matter how good your mental quality is, it will be reduced to scum in seconds.
God's creation, whether it is the beauty he created when he was in a good mood or the waste he created when he was in a bad mood, since he exists, it is assumed that he is reasonable.He can always find his own coordinates in this world, whether it is career or love.We are wandering, we are like ants on a hot pot, bumping head-on, probably because we can't really open our hearts to ourselves, fall in love with our imperfect self, and then find the coordinates that belong to us.
Nowadays, many friends send letters to my E-mail, saying how can I break my low self-esteem?How can one break through being oppressed by good friends?My boyfriend's family is good and I always feel that the man's family looks down on me, how can I break it?
So many problems seem to be unsolved objectively, but if you think about it subjectively, you can only "solve" them from yourself.
Some people say, "Women's jealousy is like a shadow", and they can't see others being more beautiful than themselves, and they can't see others living better than themselves.I think it's probably not just women.Any animal that loves to compete with its own kind will have feelings of jealousy.Even if it's my dog, if I pet another dog's head, it can shoot knives out of its eyes.Isn't this also a kind of jealousy?
This emotion may be innate and normal, but to an excessive degree, there is probably something wrong.
In the same way, when inferiority, oppression, and contempt go hand in hand, we ourselves may have already been crushed by various self-criticisms to the point of collapse.
So a little bit of other people's shining points can become a fuse, and a jealous and angry emotion is like a volcano waiting to explode, which is quite terrifying.
Is it because you don't love yourself?
You want to be her, he...you never want to be yourself.You don’t know that the ordinary can be beautiful, and the ordinary that settles down can counterattack and become gorgeous. You don’t know that it’s better to be yourself silently than to have a beautiful appearance. You don’t know that inner peace, fulfillment, tranquility and happiness are better than owning several houses How much salary has been exchanged for a few rich boyfriends for more valuable things in a year.
People create evaluation standards, and then use the evaluation system to trap themselves and cannot extricate themselves.
people……
Hey……
Zhou Guoping said that people should have the source of happiness in themselves, which already exists in everyone.
Then, when you look in the mirror every day, ignore the freckles, ignore the small belly, and give yourself a unique smile, then no one can stop you from getting better, and getting better happily.
living on the surface
I always felt that Xi Murong was a bit hypocritical, but I was also touched by some of her words.She said, there must be something she doesn't know, otherwise how could there be four seasons and flowers blooming and falling?
The suspicion that there must be something we don't know almost threw me into a state of nothingness for a moment.So you can't believe that the people you meet every day are people you know, even if they get closer.
I have seen the ferocious faces of gentle men during domestic violence, the simple and delicate girls active in the private rooms of nightclubs, and the beautiful and quiet girls hiding in the narrow alleys of the bustling streets and skillfully taking out cigarettes and lighters .
I used to be very young and ignorant. I had an idea in my heart and spread it all over the world, hoping to win the support of all mankind.If others talk to me, I will definitely open my innocent eyes and say everything to him.If I really hate someone, I will tell him face to face, get out.
The result is of course tragic, such a character will create a lot of trouble, and even once someone threatened my personal safety because of it.Later, I don’t know how one of my elder sisters learned about this, first she called me an idiot, and then said aggressively, don’t be afraid, dare to touch you, let me try!It turned out that the person who threatened me was just a paper tiger, but I didn't know anything at the time, so I was somewhat shocked.
But there is also an advantage. Since then, I have deeply understood the truth that disaster comes from mouth.From this point of view, no amount of famous aphorisms is worth a real lesson, and true knowledge comes from practice, which is the best way of education.
I read a joke about a person who couldn’t sleep in the middle of the night, got up and caught a cockroach, poured out all his thoughts, work pressure, and troubles in life to it, and then trampled it to death because it knew too well. too much.
This reminds me of the famous story I read when I was a child, the king has donkey ears.Sometimes there are too many things I want to say in my heart, I want to have a tree hole like that to talk about everything, but I am afraid that the leaves all over the country will make the same sound the next day, revealing my secret, and causing another pile of trouble.I am a person who is extremely afraid of trouble, so I have to keep silent.
Thinking about it now, maybe after that, I became silent and introverted in the eyes of people I don’t know very well, and my so-called growth or maturity probably starts with knowing how to shut up.
There are also many people who think that being a person should not be hypocritical, that the most important thing is sincerity, and that they should tell the truth to others.But this is not talking about the creed of life, reality sometimes deviates from the truth.
You are too dark and too fat to wear fluorescent dresses, your singing sounds like fingernails on glass, and your brat is not cute at all, and it doesn’t count if you know a few words What a shit genius, your parents are just ordinary civil servants, you don’t have to pretend to be the children of high-ranking officials, your husband filled the refrigerator with rose petals, and even tattooed your name on his shoulder, so what? Open house……
Do you think you are an angel of justice restoring the truth?What you reveal may be just scars.
When we walk on the road every day, what we see is nothing more than the superficial life. After returning home, we close the door and each have our own emotions. How can you control the real right and wrong of others?
Life is indeed ugly sometimes, but are you sure that if you break the ugly and dull surface, something worse will not come out of it?
In the Kumbum Monastery, I saw old Tibetans in ragged clothes bowing their heads all the way, worshiping in front of the altar, even if there is only one dollar, they must devoutly offer it to the Buddha.Do you have to tell her not to waste your efforts in vain, go home and eat something good to enjoy your old age, and then promote a little materialism and atheism to her?
You can only stand aside, shocked, ashamed, and moved.She may just happen to be the calmest and happiest at the moment, and you and I are just full.
It is undeniable that we are all ordinary people, and we all like to be praised, and it is best that the praise is sincere.So, you don't have to force yourself, why don't you just give a few words as a gift?You just need to use your brain a little bit, don't be too fake and explicit, it will always be beneficial.If you really can't say enough compliments, try to keep quiet and don't forget to smile.
Once I chatted with a graduate student and talked about the topic of praise. I said, if a woman asks if I look good in this dress and shoes, you must not nod without hesitation, then she must know that you are Perfunctory.You have to be patient and observe from front to back, left, right, far, near, high and low. Of course, no matter what you are thinking, try to say yes in the end.
There are still children who don't give up asking, what should I do if it's really not good?
There are a few ways, I said, you can hint that this dress is very popular this year, and women generally don't like to clash with others; you can also imply that the material of this dress is not high-end and elegant enough, and it doesn't match her temperament of hibiscus. You need to have a little professional knowledge; if you are high-end enough, can you say that the shoes are so high and so thin?Of course I'm not afraid of you stepping on it, I'm only worried that you'll have a hard time walking!Or simply say domineeringly that this dress is too revealing and too low to be worn!
real?A child with a sly look, the same for all women?
Really, I nodded, I don't know what all women are like, but if it is the kind of woman who insists on shopping with you and asks you if she is beautiful, then the answer should be correct.
The girls present nodded and laughed, but the men stumbled, they were too cunning and hypocritical, they said.
Cunning and hypocritical?Maybe.But why should we pay attention to the scientific spirit in this matter?
I dare say that most of us, women, know what we look like when we look in the mirror. Occasionally, we have a little narcissism, and when we go out to see real beauties, we will be defeated without comparison.If we insist on asking whether it is beautiful or not, we just want to win affirmation, and by the way, act coquettishly and cute.
Mr. X and I have to flatter each other without hesitation every day, especially when he brushes his teeth and looks in the mirror, he also praises himself deeply.We can speak any nasty vocabulary, and we still enjoy it every day, but so what, do we lose ourselves because of it?
We all live on the surface. We have to say a lot of insincere things and do a lot of things imposed by others. The greatest suffering is that everything is obvious but powerless. The most ordinary wish is to yearn for the extraordinary. The mediocre self and the heart that is unwilling to be mediocre will always be fighting and fighting.
Who doesn't have two selves in his body, one living on the surface and the other sliding to the bottom.They cannot be integrated, the biggest compromise is to support the two selves to continue to separate and divide them into a safe area.
When people close their eyes, another self will sneak out, otherwise you can see their faces, those fleeting but real moments, the expressions of people doing certain things, hearing certain sounds, certain melodies.
If you really want to know those secrets, all the hints God gave us are here.If there is a god.
Can we reconcile with life
This seems to be what Chen Ran said.The deepest impression Chen Ran gave me was that neat short hair. I always thought it was very sassy and handsome, and I always yearned for it.But my hair is fluffy, thin, and naturally curly. After I cut it short, I was afraid that my whole head would turn into a dandelion, so I had to keep my hair and save it.And this also gave me the exact reason, because my hair is too long, so I am far from being as talented as Chen Ran.Although it is a self-deception, it is a fact after all. No matter for aesthetics or practicality, I have always missed short hair.
People always have one reason or another to be dissatisfied, unwilling, resentful, and even resentful towards life.When Lu Xun was dying, he said, let them resent, I will not forgive any of them.A word that is so gnashing of teeth that anyone who hears it will be terrified and take a breath silently. This is Lu Xun.Many people like to quote this sentence as the motto of flaunting Sue Jie, and by the way, they put on a cold expression from time to time.But there is only one Lu Xun in the world. He is an upright and unyielding fighter. He is qualified to say this sentence, and maybe others are also qualified to say it, but we are not.We are ordinary and mediocre majority of people, what hatred can we have with life?
The friction between us and life is mostly ordinary things, just like the road in the country, you can kick up countless small stones high with one foot, as many as you want, as long as you are a person walking on the road, you can meet.Maybe real life is like this.The thing is just a reed leaf floating on the water, slowly drifting back and forth, sometimes drifting so far that I don’t even remember where its starting point and destination should be.
The so-called life is unsatisfactory, nine out of ten, in fact, there is only one reason, we can't get what we want most.Although Tao and Li are in the same direction, they can never eliminate the gap. Many times we have to settle for the next best thing, or persuade ourselves to give up our original intention and change our direction.It's like decorating a house. All the eager and persistent expectations and assumptions at the beginning have become casual in the end, and then gradually become rough and chaotic in the trivial and complicated life, becoming more and more careless.
I went out to have dinner with my friends at noon, and while shopping around, I saw a pair of shoes, which were placed alone in the discount area. I don’t remember whether it was worn by Mrs. Beckham or GAGA, but it was a very amazing style.I couldn't help but tried, and it wasn't as difficult as I imagined, but I actually stood still and walked a few steps back and forth, not generally domineering.I asked about the price, because there is only one pair, and they were used as samples for models before, and now they are discounted by 2%. It is still expensive, but it is enough.Friends have been encouraging, buy it, buy it, how rare!I really liked it, and I was a little impulsive in my heart, but in the end I gave up.After all, I don't really wear it to occasions.
Once upon a time, I heard from a colleague that sometimes I stood in a daze in the shopping mall and stared at those clothes. It wasn’t that I couldn’t afford or was reluctant to buy them, but even if I bought them awkwardly, what would I do with them?When you go to work, you will only have a shoulder of chalk dust. After you get home, cooking and visiting, do you need to be so grand?Only the goddess with a big mouth in the movie can be transformed into a phoenix by a gentleman.In life, we can only improve as much as possible, and more can only keep it as it is.Xiao S only wears flat bottoms in private, so why should I suffer?
When I was a child, I moved, crying and clamoring to remove the largest gardenia tree in the yard, but finally verified the truth of "moving a tree dies, moving a person alive".The fat white flowers with a strong fragrance finally disappeared, is that because I don't want to?How long did it take me to know that for those deep-rooted persistence, I can only water it?
The true meaning of happiness is not to pursue hard, but sometimes to constantly compromise or even regress.
When I was young, I thought I would definitely become a princess in a castle, and all the princes were kneeling outside the window, and I didn’t like any of them; later, I thought that when I became an adult, I would have a house with a tree-lined path, facing the water, and lotus root. Don't open the door in the depths of the flowers, the breeze is rippling.
But now, I can have a place to settle down in the city without paying rent or even a mortgage. If I add a man who doesn't shy away from my sloppy style and is willing to clean up the room for me, it is already a grace, and it is enough to be overjoyed.
My peace talks with life seem to have never stopped, exporting youth, freedom and pens in exchange for the following days.Then tell yourself it's just as good.
It seems to be a sentence that George Bernard Shaw said, life cannot always be satisfactory, if it is possible, it will be a terrible thing.The reason why desire lasts is because it cannot be obtained.When you get it, you don't see it, a crack in the ceiling, you see it every day, but you never know it's there.Happiness is happiness precisely because it is an unexpected accident, and it is the sharpest contrast to other long and painful times.
The scorching heat this summer is unbearable, and the air conditioner in the classroom can't hold back the restless emotions of the students.I thought the so-called long vacation was just a castle in the air a year later, but classes were suddenly suspended.In any case, it was time to rest, and students and teachers rejoiced.This holiday alone has convinced me of Bernard Shaw's other words, the world is not as bad as those complainers say.
To run forward, try not to look back.This is the result of my bargaining with life.
We will still miss some warm words, the momentary strange eyes, the expression that hesitated to speak, a back view, the rainbow we saw a long time ago, but we will not miss the cracks in the ceiling, or the people who are by our side every day.
Sometimes my heart is still turbulent, I don’t know where I will go in the end; some wounds still hurt, but maybe this scar is a mark to remind myself after a period of time.
But these are trivial matters.
Life is not a colorful flower, but a small flower hidden in the corner of the dilapidated wall, performing the inconspicuous splendor alone.
dare not casually
Gaidar, a famous children's literature writer in the former Soviet Union, liked to travel very much, but he always carried a dilapidated suitcase every time he went out.Someone asked inexplicably: "Sir, you are such a famous person, why do you use the suitcase casually?" Gaidar replied: "Isn't that good? If the suitcase is 'famous', the person is 'Casual', wouldn't that be worse?"
This is a composition material.
I don't know how students will understand this topic, but in my opinion, the trend of this proposition is inspirational, but it is as cruel as it is inspirational.
Indeed, we usually see many famous people who seem to be casual, but we dare not treat them casually.
For example, Einstein, when people mention him, what emerges in front of them is a little old man in "casual" clothes, with flying hair and amazingly bright eyes.
Einstein always dressed "casually" before and after he became famous.At first, someone advised him to dress better. He felt that no one knew him anyway, so it didn't matter what he wore.Later, when he became "famous", he felt that there was no need to dress well, because everyone knew him anyway.
Similarly, people would not laugh at Jobs for being too "casual". His signature black sweater and jeans became a fashionable item that people sought after. After his death, the black sweater was once sold out.
The realm that is not bound by appearance belongs to geniuses and rich people, because they can achieve the ultimate if they want to, so they have the ability to choose "don't care" and choose "casual".
And mortals like us have no refined wisdom and can't let go of our pursuit of appearance; we also don't have super-mortal wealth and can't be a pioneer of luxury.We can only follow certain established "laws" or "trends" tremblingly forever, even if we are carrying genuine products, the state looks like A-grade products that have been scoured from nowhere.
A long time ago, I read a fashion magazine, which talked about high heels, saying that most women are swayed by high heels, as if they are learning to walk in Handan, and they don’t know where to put their feet.If you can step on high heels like Victoria, pay attention, stepping on, not stepping on, let alone coaxing, can you really wear high heels.
Therefore, Victoria is one of the women I admire the most, because her image is inseparable from shoes of unreasonable heights. Even during pregnancy, she can still walk freely in shoes with a height of seven inches.
It is undeniable that high heels are a cruel challenge for women, because sometimes beauty and comfort must be chosen, and women who are willing to bear the pain can achieve great things.Despite the countless negative news, when she appeared with a stern face and stepped on the sky, she still got the most attention.No matter how fierce Xiaobei's scandal was, people did not believe that he could leave her.
People call Victoria "Sister Beckham", but they definitely don't regard her as an accessory of Beckham.She is independent, which is the rarest thing. If you don't believe me, think about the name of Brother Tom's wife (or ex-wife) and Xiao Su Rui's mother?
Then again, just because she is Victoria, the Spice Girl, and Mrs. Beckham, any appearance she makes will become a weathervane for people to study. Even if she wears flat shoes that are rare in a century, no one will find them intrusive. What's more, she gave birth to one child after another, but she was still a size zero.
Y has a suit from a commoner family. She struggled with how to wear it both handsome and charming. I thought about it and said, thin.
Be thin of course.If you're not Kelly Clarkson, Adele, Hilary Duff, or Fan Ye, you'd better have a good body. The Devil Wears Prada
At the beginning of the movie, Hathaway obediently changed her hips from a size 6 to a size 4 despite her disdain for fashion.
A best friend fell in love with a motorcycle jacket, but she had sloping shoulders and a pitifully small frame. Even the shop assistant couldn't help laughing when she tried it on, it really didn't fit.But she couldn't forget that coat, because Faye Wong wore it so aura in the street photos.
But, I want to say, that's Faye Wong, she is also a queen wrapped in a duvet, if she doesn't have a body like hers with a thin waist and long legs, how can she feel that she is so cold at a high place?If it were you and me, it would be considered cute if you could look like a mochi in that quilt, but the worst thing would be that the hem of your clothes is still dragging on the ground.
How can ordinary people learn from Faye Wong? She had sunburn makeup in 1998. In addition to wearing stockings outside her high heels, she also put high heels on her head.The collocation rules that everyone regards as standard are all invalid for her. Even if she wears the wrong clothes, people will regard them as a brand new fashion that belongs only to her.
How many Beckhams and Faye Wongs are there in the world?Xiao S once said the truth, the casual expressions of the actresses, in fact, I don’t know how many processes have been polished. Their casual street photos are naturally the highest level of meticulous craftsmanship.What's more, their casual small T-shirts and small accessories are enough for us to have several sets of outfits.
If superficial skills are a visible straight line, Einstein Jobs and others are at one end, Beckham and Faye Wong are at the far other end, and the rest are us who are struggling in the middle.
It seems that Bill Gates said, until you succeed, it is best not to overemphasize dignity.
Of course, dignity cannot be discarded arbitrarily. We must have a bottom line for human beings.But this is just the bottom line. We can’t be as confident as thanking our ears, and live like no one else. We don’t have that kind of IQ and confidence, and we can’t regard ourselves as God and everyone as a mortal.
So even if you are so talented, and you can move the whole universe with a lever, you should still pay attention to your appearance, because it will only highlight your wisdom.Unkempt can indeed be used to describe an unrestrained high-level person, but it is not a commendatory word after all. If it is not high-level person, an ordinary dirty ghost can only be a sloppy king.
One of the luckiest things about being a human being is to be born with a good skin. Even if beautiful people do something wrong, people will forgive them very tolerantly.But beauty has a limited shelf life after all, and if you are too stupid, even if you are as beautiful as a fairy, you can only make people feel disgusted. A "vase" is always a "gadget", no matter how expensive and rare a "gadget" is, it is only a difference in the price figure, and people will not communicate equally with a "gadget".
There is a folk saying that wearing a dragon robe does not look like a prince, which is used to emphasize the importance of the inner.
The Li family in the Tang Dynasty was never looked down upon by famous families because of their alien blood.The emperor was outraged, and ordered to prohibit intermarriage among prominent families, and the prominent families would rather "steal their daughters to their husbands' homes, or leave the old women unmarried, and never marry with different surnames."It can be seen that in the eyes of the nobles, if the blood of barbarians flows in the bone marrow, even if they are wearing yellow robes, they are not considered noble.
Of course, the concept of family status and bloodlines cannot be regarded as a strict standard, but this family status and blood lineage are more representative of excellent family cultural traditions, family traditions, and the enviable achievements of the children in the family, such as "Wang Xie is full of Jin books" .In contrast, Li Tang's royal family did have some shortcomings, so that they could not hold their heads up in the face of famous families.
But a famous family is not considered high-spirited and honest. Many times they are poor and sick, but they still stick to the rules and insist on not associating with foreign surnames, even causing tragedies. This inevitably makes people feel too pedantic.
This is true for royal families and famous families, let alone ordinary people.How do you show your dignity before the world knows you?You can't be "casual" all the time, you have to cultivate both internally and externally, learn from each other's strengths, and do your best.
No matter how much wealth you have, if you don’t use wisdom to maintain and grow it, you can only sit and eat in the end; no matter how much wisdom you have, if you don’t have power and wealth to clear the way, you can only bury beautiful jade deep in the mountains and cannot play its fullest role.
Guo Meimei and Hermès have been showing off for so long, but Sun Yunyun used it as a dog bag. It stands to reason that people should start to blackmail Sun Yunyun, but most people still despise Guo Meimei, and few people speak ill of Sun Yunyun.As a socialite, Paris Hilton's reputation is not much better than those who show off their wealth, just because she has too many problems.
When Princess Kate first appeared in front of the media, there were still traces of Chai Heniu, but she quickly transformed into a new generation of dressing guide.
At the beginning, some people were talking about whether she had "expert advice" behind her. I think this is the same as a poor old farmer imagining that the emperor's breakfast is a few pieces of sesame cakes and bowls of soy milk-the declining royal family is also a royal family, and the emaciated camel is bigger than the horse , not to mention that the British royal family is still one of the oldest royal families.
To get the admission ticket to the royal family, she herself is a "superior person". It will be a matter of time before she becomes a national model. All she has to do is to persist and maintain it.
The ancients said that three generations of officials did not know how to dress and eat. It can be seen how deep the inner foundation is for this "superficial skill" to be beautiful.So people in the Qing Dynasty had a saying that specifically hurt the nouveau riche: Fang Xinshu's small paintings are not ancient, so this person must be the Ministry of Internal Affairs.
Today's royal family is not necessarily inferior to the aristocrats at their peak. In the eyes of the aristocrats, celebrities, celebrities and ladies are all nothing more than the "Ministry of Internal Affairs".
So the aristocratic ladies in "Dream of Red Mansions" wear "semi-new" clothes, just like "real ladies with temperament" in Yi Shu's mouth, they "never show off everything she has, she doesn't tell people what she has read books, where have you been, how many clothes you have, what jewelry you have bought”, because they have no “inferiority feeling”.
It is conceivable that a really rich person generally does not show off his wealth, nor does a really wise person show off his brilliance.
Showing off itself is a low-level behavior.Someone concluded that the more people show off, the more they lack.Because no matter what you show off, you just want to attract people's attention, self-hype, and the last thing is to arouse the envy of others, so as to show a sense of superiority that "I have what you don't".
But in fact people who like to show off get the most abuse and ridicule, which is not what they want, but it is exactly what they deserve.
So my understanding is that what people get by showing off is what they really lack.
Wealth and wisdom are things that everyone needs, but it is best for them to be synchronized, otherwise, they can only restrain each other and cannot play a real role.
sorry to get angry
Once upon a time, there was a person in the office who liked to help people tidy up their computers in his spare time. Especially when he saw too many and messy files on someone’s desktop, he had to file and classify them and clean them up.However, he is not an expert. Most of the results of cleaning up are complete computer crashes, which cannot be repaired, and become waste products.
He also knew that his hands were smelly, but he just couldn't help but want to operate it.After a long time, as long as we see him, we have to hide the computer.
Although he scrapped many computers by himself, everyone was embarrassed to get angry. Firstly, they were too familiar to show their face, and secondly, because they had good intentions, but their skills were not good enough, so they did bad things with good intentions.
In "Wulin Biography", when Guo Furong first appeared on the stage, she pretended to be a black and white hero, adding a lot of chaos without knowing the truth, but thinking that she was doing justice for the sky and eliminating harm for the people.
Liu E expressed a unique point of view in "Lao Can's Travel Notes", which is to expose the "honest and upright officials"
tyranny.Corrupt officials have always been beaten by everyone, but Liu E thinks that honest officials are even more hateful and unknown.
There is also a similar famous saying in "Nine Pins of Sesame Officials", corrupt officials are treacherous, and honest officials are more treacherous than corrupt officials.Because most of them pretend to be clean and honest, and they are self-willed. They kill people for the sake of political achievements, and they harm the country.
How similar is this to Sima Qian's description in "Biography of the Cool Officials"!Liu E had an insight into history and came to the conclusion: "Thirty to four out of ten major events in the world are worse than treacherous officials; six to seven out of ten are worse than ignorant gentlemen."
A gentleman is originally a compliment to people, but if he sticks to the way of a gentleman without knowing how to adapt, he will appear pedantic and unreasonable. The consequences of this are much more serious than bad people making trouble.
What's even more frightening is that the gentleman always insists that he is doing good deeds. His starting point is justice and harmlessness. As long as he says "I'm doing it for your own good", he can choke you so hard that you can't tell.
"I'm doing it for your own good", these words are simply a killer.
We will never lack such "good-hearted people" who "for your own good".They are like "honest officials" who think they are morally impeccable, and by extension feel that they are right about everything.
From the perspective of ordinary people, we will not be nice to people we have never met before, nor will we be nice to anyone casually, we will only be nice to those we care about.Because the starting point is so lofty, so confident.
I still can’t agree with grandpas and aunts’ love of introducing people to people and urging people to get married and have children. I think they are not entirely doing things for others, but have a kind of hidden malice, which they may not even realize.
When people do things, they are unintentionally attached to other meanings. Although the original intention is good, the result is not satisfactory.If someone is pretending to be kind, it is worse than outright imposing on others.
If you haven't found someone, why don't you?Are you married? Why not?Did you have a baby? Why not?I haven't had children for such a long time, isn't there something wrong?Yo, your daughter is too fat, should she lose weight?Ah, your daughter lost weight so quickly, did she go for liposuction?
For questions like these, I think they can be answered uniformly with a sentence of "it's none of your business".It's a pity not, because they are for your own good, because they have watched you grow up since they were young, and they care about you.
The question is, do you feel love? All I can feel is the malice in this world.
In dog blood TV series, I often hear people yelling like this, they have done so much for you and me, but what have you done for me?Or someone complained that you are not as good to me as I am to you!
Many times people think that they are giving for free, without desire or demand, but in fact it may not be so.Sometimes it is just because the rewards people are looking for are not real material things, this kind of illusion is produced.
People pay morally, and what they hope to get is moral rewards, and the closer the relationship, the more urgent this hope is.
If someone says, I am willing to die for you!Once you are moved to accept this hot passion, I am afraid that you will have to pay an unprecedented moral price in the future.
I am good to you, in fact, I hope you are good to me.Parents love their children, even if it is natural, they also hope that their children will return by being obedient and obedient, not for nothing.
People's troubles, good teachers.Almost everyone has the desire to transform others with their own values, but this strength varies from person to person.
A colleague calls to ask what his child ate in the kindergarten on the first day of school, and then immediately calls home to give instructions to the grandparents or grandparents who take care of the child: "He ate XXX today, he didn't eat OOO, go home Make up for it quickly! Also, he has eaten enough meat, and he won’t be able to eat any more meat tomorrow!”
There were several reprimands interspersed in the interval: "Who asked you to feed him this! Do you know how unhygienic this thing is! Are you responsible for the bad stomach?"
As I listened to it, I couldn't help feeling my scalp tingling. It turns out that after becoming a mother, people will become so scary.It is undeniable that she is also a person with a strong desire to control, but when she controls to this extent, she can't help feeling a little bit sweaty for her child.
From my point of view, her child has small arms and legs and is extremely thin. He is 4 years old but he is not a few centimeters taller than other children who are two and a half years old. Eating more meat may have many benefits. serious.
But maybe I don't know the truth, maybe the child will have a fever and diarrhea if he eats too much meat. Besides, I have never been a mother before, so I can't understand the anxious mood of mothers.
I have a classmate who was served with distilled water and disinfectant at home when he was just born, and medical gauze was used as towels and handkerchiefs, and he grew up in a sterile room.When it's time to go to school, of course I can't stand the dirty air outside, asthma, skin allergies, all kinds of diseases come.
It seems that for a long time, many people lack respect for the subjective consciousness of others in their values, thinking that as long as it is "for your own good", they have the right to make decisions for you and decide many things on your behalf.
My dad is like this, he likes to eat noodles, and the whole family has to eat noodles with him.What's worse, his favorite food is far more than just noodles.My dad's most representative sentence is, this food is so delicious, I like it, why don't you like it?
When I was in elementary school, my breakfast was usually a big bowl of noodles and two poached eggs, and I was not allowed to go to school until I finished eating.And my dad would raise the problem of not being able to finish the meal to the height of my disobedience and rebellion, because I was often beaten badly for breakfast.I can't hold grudges against my dad, only eggs.
After I got married, I ate breakfast at my mother-in-law's house for the first time. She also made noodles, and there were two eggs in my bowl.I ate one silently, but I really didn't know what to do with the other, so I had to call Mr. X.
After a few days, the egg in the morning became one, and the mother-in-law said, I think you can't finish two eggs, so I only cracked one for you.
The thing is so strange. My dad was full of love, but the child cried and the adults jumped; my mother-in-law reduced my breakfast, and I didn’t eat it if I didn’t like it. It’s no big deal, but I thought it was the best.
I can't tell my mother about this, she will definitely say that my mother-in-law is reluctant to give it to me, but according to my observation, Mr. X is treated in the same way, as long as he is not too partial to food or has special needs, he will never force him to eat if he really doesn't want to eat.
From this point of view, it is really a rare virtue to observe words and expressions and be considerate, but if you don't have a clear heart, you'd better think twice before doing things.
Compared with having bad intentions, doing good deeds is of course a clear conscience, but in order to reduce a little backfire, you really need a little more wisdom.Before practicing one's own virtue, seeking the consent of others is a respect for others, and it is more important than doing good deeds.
Maybe a lot of unnecessary detours
I started smoking with a very handsome brother, because he looks really handsome when he smokes, and I started with a senior sister whom I admire a lot, because she looks really charming when she smokes.
Remember a saying: You will fall in love with a certain taste because of a certain man.Then the reason why I fell in love with the smell of cigarettes, compared to falling in love with the opposite sex, is simply naive to the extreme.
However, the result of my imitation was not good. Someone saw me smoking and said: You smoke like a big wood turtle, with the smell of fresh loach that just climbed up from the muddy field.I asked him, have you ever smelled loach?He said I don't have a sense of humor... In short, my smoking stems from pretending, and it's right to carry it forward for working overtime.I sometimes don't breathe it into my lungs, but simply puff it up for satisfaction.
A while ago, I was renovating my home, and I had a lot of things at work. I really didn’t want to drag it until the Mid-Autumn Festival and National Day. One can't help it, one after another.Smoky, bursting with inspiration.
This is the "meaning of smoking".
However, after a few sticks, my eyes hurt, and my mouth was dry. I couldn't smoke the remaining half stick of Marlboro Explosive Beads.I imitated the appearance of the charming senior sister in my memory, raised my little orchid finger, then pinched the butt of the cigarette with my thumb and forefinger, lightly lit a little in the ashtray, and then threw the cigarette into it—this series of actions After finishing it, I feel that I am too Feel and stylish!Quickly took out the small mirror to take a picture, um, it really looks like a national treasure.So happily continue working.
A few minutes later, the study room was still filled with a strong smell of cigarettes. It turned out that a certain cigarette butt in the ashtray was not willing to disappear in smoke, and still stubbornly resisted.I picked up a ballpoint pen without looking at it, and smashed it in the ashtray, thinking that you should put it out now.But my thoughts were interrupted, and I felt that I should have some supper for myself, so I went to the kitchen to plan some food, and unexpectedly found the half bag of good shrimp chips that Gouwa's father had eaten, and returned to the room contentedly, It turned out that the ashtray was still smoking.At that time, my QQ window popped up with jet lag, I chatted with him, picked up the longest cigarette butt in the ashtray and pinched it, then, the urge to urinate hit, I went to the bathroom and went back to the house , found - the ashtray, still smoking!
Ouch, I'm going to go!I was very angry and the consequences were severe.
I turned on the light and carefully observed which cigarette butt was causing the trouble. It turned out that the half-smoked Marlboro was still lingering, but it was releasing the strongest part of the cigarette tail.
I... an adult with a normal IQ, lost three times to a cigarette butt, and let it burn myself out by luck. I feel very shameless.
By the time I finished work and went to bed, it was almost dawn.I always feel like I can smell the smoke from that cigarette butt, and it lingers.I was probably uneasy because I was so shameless.
Actually, I'm not having trouble with that Marlboro, my caffeine and nicotine overexcited brain thinks a lot about a cigarette butt.
Not long ago, the project at hand was not progressing smoothly, and I was very sloppy and kept standing still, which made me lose my hair in a hurry.For a while, I complained that the task "is teasing me, because it is impossible to complete", for a while I called the partner impatiently and said that they really couldn't understand what I meant, and for a while I resented my colleagues for always doing the simple things by myself, and the difficult ones were all done. Leave it to me unselfishly, and complain for a while that my man has not done much housework recently. The mess at home affects my mood, which in turn affects my emotions. and instructions.
There is no suspense, my project is getting more and more difficult, seeing that the death is approaching, I am always at a loss and scratching my head at the computer.Finally, when my own bottom line was broken, my emotions flooded like a dike and flooded out of control. I smashed and robbed people and pets at home, and cried hysterically.
It's been a long time since I vented such unreasonable emotions, and after I finished, I felt that there was only one word - cool!Three words - really cool!
After having a good time, I feel calm and calm, with pessimistic heroism attached to it-the work is nothing special, the big deal is that I can’t do it well, and my mother will quit!Is it okay for my wife to be a housewife?I'm in a hurry and I'm going to a nightclub to sell my jokes, are you not convinced?Really, quit and quit!Turn off the computer, sneak my dog out and stroll around the community for more than an hour, and then go home to take a bath and sleep comfortably.
When I was brushing my teeth the next morning, I suddenly had a burst of inspiration, as if some nerve had been baptized.I found the crux of the project’s inability to go on—it’s all on me. I subdivided the work to unsuitable people without thinking, and let the suitable people idle to find work... Hey, I won’t go into details.
Suddenly there are a lot of flow charts in my mind, distribution diagrams, everyone is working together in full swing, and after the project is completed, there is a picture of spreading flowers downstairs in Niu Dawan... The whole world is different, and my brain cells are really cheering for me. Victory is beckoning to me. Although I have a serious lack of sleep, I don't feel sleepy any more in an instant.
Then, just like turning on the plug-in and entering the invincible mode, "swipe" to finish the work and celebrate the success before starting work.
This incident has the same effect as my pinching the wrong cigarette butt.Walking into a wrong path is like pinching the wrong butt of a cigarette.You feel that you have been choked, and you have been choked more than once, but the dead are still dying there, and the living are still lingering.
Although I am a layman in economics, I also know a little about sunk costs. The sad thing is that sometimes the investment and effort, no matter whether it is very heavy or not, and whether it is outrageously wrong, I am not willing to use it even for one night. Time to stop and think about whether to change direction.And just humming and hawing, "feeling very busy", but "never getting results".My family thinks I'm working hard, and Gouwa thinks it's not easy for me to support a family. Only I know that I've just changed to a good way of pretending to be a foreign worker.
Maybe many unnecessary detours have nothing to do with the disappearance of sunk costs, but are only positively related to the fact that one of my stupid and lazy roads has gone dark, so that I can work hard in the opposite direction.It seems that you are working very hard and desperately, but you are actually doing it to your death, just doing it to your death.
When I was very young, my mother told me that working hard is more important than hard work.If you don’t have the heart, then don’t use any gong, it’s useless if you use it.Now I take it for granted, no matter if I pinch the butt of a cigarette and don’t look at such trivial matters, or when I’m working, I’m busy with my eyes closed, and sometimes even in my love life, I feel that I have worked hard and devoted myself, but the harvest will always be rubbish. .There should be such a reason.
I have always scoffed at the theory that "you can have everything if you work hard".I always like to read the family history of some big bosses. Looking back, you will find that the big boss is no different from any of us. The boss of SF Express used to carry private goods at the port. Liu Qiangdong used to sell Zanji in Zhongguancun. Ma Huateng is For plagiarism, 360 is for rogue software.Among their contemporaries, some are still smuggling private goods, some are still killing customers in Zhongguancun, some are still plagiarizing, some are still hooligans, and more don’t know where to hang them.In terms of effort, who works harder than whom?If you hang up early, you may not be able to afford to be greedy early and late to take your wealth and life.
I believe that luck is a necessary factor to become a big man, and I believe that IQ is even more so.It's not a question of 80 or 180 IQ, it should be hard work.Persistence in majors, love for things, and then cultivate and train judgment and decision-making skills.Looking at things in lower dimensions from higher dimensions, there will not be too much error probability.
Try, most of us will.With [-] million in front, who wouldn't work hard like a fool?
Persist, if every effort you make has an effect instead of being in vain every time, I believe most people will also persist.Who doesn't pursue a sense of accomplishment?
But attentively, not everyone can.At least for now, I spend more than 70% of my time living in darkness.Occasionally, when a 30% inspiration flashes, I already feel like I'm on the hook.What if the probability is slightly higher?Is it going to be scary?
This is also the case with pinching cigarettes. I pinched it several times, not because I was incapable of pinching it, but because I didn't bother to pinch it at all.The same goes for work.
Some people work hard to live, some people work hard to die.I look at all living beings, but there is no one who does not work hard.It's just a shortcut between the goal hanging above the head and the road under the feet. Some people work hard to get farther and farther, and some people work hard to shorten and surpass it.
Sometimes, we don't lose to laziness, we really lose to stupidity.
(End of this chapter)
Love yourself enough to have no enemies
I always wanted to be the prettiest girl in the class, but unfortunately my mother only allowed me to wear school uniform from Monday to Friday. She wanted to shave me to a size and forced me to eat a lot of meat and carbohydrates, which made my body look horrible. ;I want the most likable boy in the class to like me, but it's a pity that he doesn't even look at me...
My childhood was very pale, just playing, playing, playing; my adolescence was not rich, just fighting for the first, fighting for the first, gritting my teeth to be the first.
I hate people who take my first place, I don't like the prettiest girl in my class, I hate girls who have sex with the boy I have a crush on...
I'm always unhappy, there are obstacles in front of me, one goes out, and another, what's more exasperating is that sometimes the obstacles are there, and I can only swallow my anger.
At that time, Er Chou and I became best friends. Sometimes making friends is the same as falling in love, they are complementary.I don't like to play with people with the same temperament as me, as if I see myself in a row of mirrors - like a bullfighting bull, remembering to fight everywhere.Getting along with Er Chou is relaxed and happy.When she was depressed, her chubby face swung there, as if writing a banner:
Let nature take its course.It can give me some comfort when I'm on the edge of a dead end.
The process of finding yourself doesn't start until after college.Because I was timid during the college entrance examination and did not dare to fill in the Top 1 in my heart, I settled for the second best. After I went to a school that could be regarded as my favorite, the gap was so big that I couldn't add it.This kind of inexhaustibility forced me to re-examine myself. Besides the first, what is more interesting?Apart from self-study and memorize words and formulas every day, what more meaningful thing is there to have a crush on boys?
This time is the first, and there will be next time, it is hard to guarantee that it will be the same every time, so I am always lost. I will forget the words I memorized today, and I will be very irritable. As for the boy I have a crush on, why are there so many bells and whistles flying around him? Little butterflies, who would lend me a beat to beat them to death one by one!
Hey... endless... I want to be detached.
So I bought a second-hand bicycle and wandered around Beijing. Sometimes when the weather was bad, I took the bus, strolled around the alleys, ate snacks, and looked at all kinds of people in Nanluogu Lane. Facial flattery, listening to various lectures.I also spent all my living expenses on clothes, from first-tier to second-tier to zoos to street stalls. I began to read fashion magazines, study makeup, and be obsessed with emotional strategies. Once I found it interesting, but the second time, I was even more lost.
As if in a fog, I don't know who I am and what will happen in the future. The more serious problem is:
Not knowing what you want—or, wanting everything, not being good enough.Makes me more fidgety than when the only thing in my life was being number one.
Er Chou lives peacefully in another university, just reading books, shopping, gossiping and going to class, but she is always at ease, her QQ signature never changes, it has always been—I am Er Chou and I am afraid of whom.
I have to say that Er Chou's realm is N levels above me.
In fact, life is based on the word "enlightenment".When I was in high school, my political teacher said, sometimes, if you don’t understand something in the liberal arts, you have to understand it.I gave him a bad review on the spot, how could he be enlightened?What can't be explained?
Later, I realized that there are really things that need to be "enlightened". Of course, it is not limited to high school politics.
I can’t remember exactly what happened to me. Maybe it’s one thing, or maybe it’s a series of things. I understand that it’s not that difficult to be happy, as long as you—be yourself.
But there is probably only one prerequisite for being yourself, which is to love yourself.I have never really loved myself much. I always hope that I will become better, taller, thinner, more knowledgeable, and more connotative... In short, I have infinite needs and infinite desires. I hope that I am the pure and perfect man in the legend. .But I never smiled in the mirror: You are also very good!
What I love is not myself at all, but idols, real and virtual.Whoever graduates has an annual salary of N3, I want to be him; whoever loses 30 pounds in 100 months, I want to imitate him; whoever memorizes [-] words a day, I want to learn from him; whoever always begs boys Like, I want to study her.
I am very motivated, however, I sometimes feel miserable.
In Faye Wong's song, "Idols are nothing more than that, idols who have been addicted to each other, disappear one by one..." So who is who's idol is nothing more than yourself.
Er Chou understood this problem as early as adolescence, and she rarely compares herself with others.Live your own life comfortably and contentedly. It may seem too peaceful. Sometimes you will be said that you are not active enough and hardworking. However, you have everything you need. Take your time and live slowly. Shouting the slogan "Jiliu Yongjin" will lead to misfortune, so it may not be a good choice for life.
I certainly think that life needs to be transcended.However, life also needs to be affirmed.If you draw a big cross on your past achievements and current appearance whenever and wherever, no matter how good your mental quality is, it will be reduced to scum in seconds.
God's creation, whether it is the beauty he created when he was in a good mood or the waste he created when he was in a bad mood, since he exists, it is assumed that he is reasonable.He can always find his own coordinates in this world, whether it is career or love.We are wandering, we are like ants on a hot pot, bumping head-on, probably because we can't really open our hearts to ourselves, fall in love with our imperfect self, and then find the coordinates that belong to us.
Nowadays, many friends send letters to my E-mail, saying how can I break my low self-esteem?How can one break through being oppressed by good friends?My boyfriend's family is good and I always feel that the man's family looks down on me, how can I break it?
So many problems seem to be unsolved objectively, but if you think about it subjectively, you can only "solve" them from yourself.
Some people say, "Women's jealousy is like a shadow", and they can't see others being more beautiful than themselves, and they can't see others living better than themselves.I think it's probably not just women.Any animal that loves to compete with its own kind will have feelings of jealousy.Even if it's my dog, if I pet another dog's head, it can shoot knives out of its eyes.Isn't this also a kind of jealousy?
This emotion may be innate and normal, but to an excessive degree, there is probably something wrong.
In the same way, when inferiority, oppression, and contempt go hand in hand, we ourselves may have already been crushed by various self-criticisms to the point of collapse.
So a little bit of other people's shining points can become a fuse, and a jealous and angry emotion is like a volcano waiting to explode, which is quite terrifying.
Is it because you don't love yourself?
You want to be her, he...you never want to be yourself.You don’t know that the ordinary can be beautiful, and the ordinary that settles down can counterattack and become gorgeous. You don’t know that it’s better to be yourself silently than to have a beautiful appearance. You don’t know that inner peace, fulfillment, tranquility and happiness are better than owning several houses How much salary has been exchanged for a few rich boyfriends for more valuable things in a year.
People create evaluation standards, and then use the evaluation system to trap themselves and cannot extricate themselves.
people……
Hey……
Zhou Guoping said that people should have the source of happiness in themselves, which already exists in everyone.
Then, when you look in the mirror every day, ignore the freckles, ignore the small belly, and give yourself a unique smile, then no one can stop you from getting better, and getting better happily.
living on the surface
I always felt that Xi Murong was a bit hypocritical, but I was also touched by some of her words.She said, there must be something she doesn't know, otherwise how could there be four seasons and flowers blooming and falling?
The suspicion that there must be something we don't know almost threw me into a state of nothingness for a moment.So you can't believe that the people you meet every day are people you know, even if they get closer.
I have seen the ferocious faces of gentle men during domestic violence, the simple and delicate girls active in the private rooms of nightclubs, and the beautiful and quiet girls hiding in the narrow alleys of the bustling streets and skillfully taking out cigarettes and lighters .
I used to be very young and ignorant. I had an idea in my heart and spread it all over the world, hoping to win the support of all mankind.If others talk to me, I will definitely open my innocent eyes and say everything to him.If I really hate someone, I will tell him face to face, get out.
The result is of course tragic, such a character will create a lot of trouble, and even once someone threatened my personal safety because of it.Later, I don’t know how one of my elder sisters learned about this, first she called me an idiot, and then said aggressively, don’t be afraid, dare to touch you, let me try!It turned out that the person who threatened me was just a paper tiger, but I didn't know anything at the time, so I was somewhat shocked.
But there is also an advantage. Since then, I have deeply understood the truth that disaster comes from mouth.From this point of view, no amount of famous aphorisms is worth a real lesson, and true knowledge comes from practice, which is the best way of education.
I read a joke about a person who couldn’t sleep in the middle of the night, got up and caught a cockroach, poured out all his thoughts, work pressure, and troubles in life to it, and then trampled it to death because it knew too well. too much.
This reminds me of the famous story I read when I was a child, the king has donkey ears.Sometimes there are too many things I want to say in my heart, I want to have a tree hole like that to talk about everything, but I am afraid that the leaves all over the country will make the same sound the next day, revealing my secret, and causing another pile of trouble.I am a person who is extremely afraid of trouble, so I have to keep silent.
Thinking about it now, maybe after that, I became silent and introverted in the eyes of people I don’t know very well, and my so-called growth or maturity probably starts with knowing how to shut up.
There are also many people who think that being a person should not be hypocritical, that the most important thing is sincerity, and that they should tell the truth to others.But this is not talking about the creed of life, reality sometimes deviates from the truth.
You are too dark and too fat to wear fluorescent dresses, your singing sounds like fingernails on glass, and your brat is not cute at all, and it doesn’t count if you know a few words What a shit genius, your parents are just ordinary civil servants, you don’t have to pretend to be the children of high-ranking officials, your husband filled the refrigerator with rose petals, and even tattooed your name on his shoulder, so what? Open house……
Do you think you are an angel of justice restoring the truth?What you reveal may be just scars.
When we walk on the road every day, what we see is nothing more than the superficial life. After returning home, we close the door and each have our own emotions. How can you control the real right and wrong of others?
Life is indeed ugly sometimes, but are you sure that if you break the ugly and dull surface, something worse will not come out of it?
In the Kumbum Monastery, I saw old Tibetans in ragged clothes bowing their heads all the way, worshiping in front of the altar, even if there is only one dollar, they must devoutly offer it to the Buddha.Do you have to tell her not to waste your efforts in vain, go home and eat something good to enjoy your old age, and then promote a little materialism and atheism to her?
You can only stand aside, shocked, ashamed, and moved.She may just happen to be the calmest and happiest at the moment, and you and I are just full.
It is undeniable that we are all ordinary people, and we all like to be praised, and it is best that the praise is sincere.So, you don't have to force yourself, why don't you just give a few words as a gift?You just need to use your brain a little bit, don't be too fake and explicit, it will always be beneficial.If you really can't say enough compliments, try to keep quiet and don't forget to smile.
Once I chatted with a graduate student and talked about the topic of praise. I said, if a woman asks if I look good in this dress and shoes, you must not nod without hesitation, then she must know that you are Perfunctory.You have to be patient and observe from front to back, left, right, far, near, high and low. Of course, no matter what you are thinking, try to say yes in the end.
There are still children who don't give up asking, what should I do if it's really not good?
There are a few ways, I said, you can hint that this dress is very popular this year, and women generally don't like to clash with others; you can also imply that the material of this dress is not high-end and elegant enough, and it doesn't match her temperament of hibiscus. You need to have a little professional knowledge; if you are high-end enough, can you say that the shoes are so high and so thin?Of course I'm not afraid of you stepping on it, I'm only worried that you'll have a hard time walking!Or simply say domineeringly that this dress is too revealing and too low to be worn!
real?A child with a sly look, the same for all women?
Really, I nodded, I don't know what all women are like, but if it is the kind of woman who insists on shopping with you and asks you if she is beautiful, then the answer should be correct.
The girls present nodded and laughed, but the men stumbled, they were too cunning and hypocritical, they said.
Cunning and hypocritical?Maybe.But why should we pay attention to the scientific spirit in this matter?
I dare say that most of us, women, know what we look like when we look in the mirror. Occasionally, we have a little narcissism, and when we go out to see real beauties, we will be defeated without comparison.If we insist on asking whether it is beautiful or not, we just want to win affirmation, and by the way, act coquettishly and cute.
Mr. X and I have to flatter each other without hesitation every day, especially when he brushes his teeth and looks in the mirror, he also praises himself deeply.We can speak any nasty vocabulary, and we still enjoy it every day, but so what, do we lose ourselves because of it?
We all live on the surface. We have to say a lot of insincere things and do a lot of things imposed by others. The greatest suffering is that everything is obvious but powerless. The most ordinary wish is to yearn for the extraordinary. The mediocre self and the heart that is unwilling to be mediocre will always be fighting and fighting.
Who doesn't have two selves in his body, one living on the surface and the other sliding to the bottom.They cannot be integrated, the biggest compromise is to support the two selves to continue to separate and divide them into a safe area.
When people close their eyes, another self will sneak out, otherwise you can see their faces, those fleeting but real moments, the expressions of people doing certain things, hearing certain sounds, certain melodies.
If you really want to know those secrets, all the hints God gave us are here.If there is a god.
Can we reconcile with life
This seems to be what Chen Ran said.The deepest impression Chen Ran gave me was that neat short hair. I always thought it was very sassy and handsome, and I always yearned for it.But my hair is fluffy, thin, and naturally curly. After I cut it short, I was afraid that my whole head would turn into a dandelion, so I had to keep my hair and save it.And this also gave me the exact reason, because my hair is too long, so I am far from being as talented as Chen Ran.Although it is a self-deception, it is a fact after all. No matter for aesthetics or practicality, I have always missed short hair.
People always have one reason or another to be dissatisfied, unwilling, resentful, and even resentful towards life.When Lu Xun was dying, he said, let them resent, I will not forgive any of them.A word that is so gnashing of teeth that anyone who hears it will be terrified and take a breath silently. This is Lu Xun.Many people like to quote this sentence as the motto of flaunting Sue Jie, and by the way, they put on a cold expression from time to time.But there is only one Lu Xun in the world. He is an upright and unyielding fighter. He is qualified to say this sentence, and maybe others are also qualified to say it, but we are not.We are ordinary and mediocre majority of people, what hatred can we have with life?
The friction between us and life is mostly ordinary things, just like the road in the country, you can kick up countless small stones high with one foot, as many as you want, as long as you are a person walking on the road, you can meet.Maybe real life is like this.The thing is just a reed leaf floating on the water, slowly drifting back and forth, sometimes drifting so far that I don’t even remember where its starting point and destination should be.
The so-called life is unsatisfactory, nine out of ten, in fact, there is only one reason, we can't get what we want most.Although Tao and Li are in the same direction, they can never eliminate the gap. Many times we have to settle for the next best thing, or persuade ourselves to give up our original intention and change our direction.It's like decorating a house. All the eager and persistent expectations and assumptions at the beginning have become casual in the end, and then gradually become rough and chaotic in the trivial and complicated life, becoming more and more careless.
I went out to have dinner with my friends at noon, and while shopping around, I saw a pair of shoes, which were placed alone in the discount area. I don’t remember whether it was worn by Mrs. Beckham or GAGA, but it was a very amazing style.I couldn't help but tried, and it wasn't as difficult as I imagined, but I actually stood still and walked a few steps back and forth, not generally domineering.I asked about the price, because there is only one pair, and they were used as samples for models before, and now they are discounted by 2%. It is still expensive, but it is enough.Friends have been encouraging, buy it, buy it, how rare!I really liked it, and I was a little impulsive in my heart, but in the end I gave up.After all, I don't really wear it to occasions.
Once upon a time, I heard from a colleague that sometimes I stood in a daze in the shopping mall and stared at those clothes. It wasn’t that I couldn’t afford or was reluctant to buy them, but even if I bought them awkwardly, what would I do with them?When you go to work, you will only have a shoulder of chalk dust. After you get home, cooking and visiting, do you need to be so grand?Only the goddess with a big mouth in the movie can be transformed into a phoenix by a gentleman.In life, we can only improve as much as possible, and more can only keep it as it is.Xiao S only wears flat bottoms in private, so why should I suffer?
When I was a child, I moved, crying and clamoring to remove the largest gardenia tree in the yard, but finally verified the truth of "moving a tree dies, moving a person alive".The fat white flowers with a strong fragrance finally disappeared, is that because I don't want to?How long did it take me to know that for those deep-rooted persistence, I can only water it?
The true meaning of happiness is not to pursue hard, but sometimes to constantly compromise or even regress.
When I was young, I thought I would definitely become a princess in a castle, and all the princes were kneeling outside the window, and I didn’t like any of them; later, I thought that when I became an adult, I would have a house with a tree-lined path, facing the water, and lotus root. Don't open the door in the depths of the flowers, the breeze is rippling.
But now, I can have a place to settle down in the city without paying rent or even a mortgage. If I add a man who doesn't shy away from my sloppy style and is willing to clean up the room for me, it is already a grace, and it is enough to be overjoyed.
My peace talks with life seem to have never stopped, exporting youth, freedom and pens in exchange for the following days.Then tell yourself it's just as good.
It seems to be a sentence that George Bernard Shaw said, life cannot always be satisfactory, if it is possible, it will be a terrible thing.The reason why desire lasts is because it cannot be obtained.When you get it, you don't see it, a crack in the ceiling, you see it every day, but you never know it's there.Happiness is happiness precisely because it is an unexpected accident, and it is the sharpest contrast to other long and painful times.
The scorching heat this summer is unbearable, and the air conditioner in the classroom can't hold back the restless emotions of the students.I thought the so-called long vacation was just a castle in the air a year later, but classes were suddenly suspended.In any case, it was time to rest, and students and teachers rejoiced.This holiday alone has convinced me of Bernard Shaw's other words, the world is not as bad as those complainers say.
To run forward, try not to look back.This is the result of my bargaining with life.
We will still miss some warm words, the momentary strange eyes, the expression that hesitated to speak, a back view, the rainbow we saw a long time ago, but we will not miss the cracks in the ceiling, or the people who are by our side every day.
Sometimes my heart is still turbulent, I don’t know where I will go in the end; some wounds still hurt, but maybe this scar is a mark to remind myself after a period of time.
But these are trivial matters.
Life is not a colorful flower, but a small flower hidden in the corner of the dilapidated wall, performing the inconspicuous splendor alone.
dare not casually
Gaidar, a famous children's literature writer in the former Soviet Union, liked to travel very much, but he always carried a dilapidated suitcase every time he went out.Someone asked inexplicably: "Sir, you are such a famous person, why do you use the suitcase casually?" Gaidar replied: "Isn't that good? If the suitcase is 'famous', the person is 'Casual', wouldn't that be worse?"
This is a composition material.
I don't know how students will understand this topic, but in my opinion, the trend of this proposition is inspirational, but it is as cruel as it is inspirational.
Indeed, we usually see many famous people who seem to be casual, but we dare not treat them casually.
For example, Einstein, when people mention him, what emerges in front of them is a little old man in "casual" clothes, with flying hair and amazingly bright eyes.
Einstein always dressed "casually" before and after he became famous.At first, someone advised him to dress better. He felt that no one knew him anyway, so it didn't matter what he wore.Later, when he became "famous", he felt that there was no need to dress well, because everyone knew him anyway.
Similarly, people would not laugh at Jobs for being too "casual". His signature black sweater and jeans became a fashionable item that people sought after. After his death, the black sweater was once sold out.
The realm that is not bound by appearance belongs to geniuses and rich people, because they can achieve the ultimate if they want to, so they have the ability to choose "don't care" and choose "casual".
And mortals like us have no refined wisdom and can't let go of our pursuit of appearance; we also don't have super-mortal wealth and can't be a pioneer of luxury.We can only follow certain established "laws" or "trends" tremblingly forever, even if we are carrying genuine products, the state looks like A-grade products that have been scoured from nowhere.
A long time ago, I read a fashion magazine, which talked about high heels, saying that most women are swayed by high heels, as if they are learning to walk in Handan, and they don’t know where to put their feet.If you can step on high heels like Victoria, pay attention, stepping on, not stepping on, let alone coaxing, can you really wear high heels.
Therefore, Victoria is one of the women I admire the most, because her image is inseparable from shoes of unreasonable heights. Even during pregnancy, she can still walk freely in shoes with a height of seven inches.
It is undeniable that high heels are a cruel challenge for women, because sometimes beauty and comfort must be chosen, and women who are willing to bear the pain can achieve great things.Despite the countless negative news, when she appeared with a stern face and stepped on the sky, she still got the most attention.No matter how fierce Xiaobei's scandal was, people did not believe that he could leave her.
People call Victoria "Sister Beckham", but they definitely don't regard her as an accessory of Beckham.She is independent, which is the rarest thing. If you don't believe me, think about the name of Brother Tom's wife (or ex-wife) and Xiao Su Rui's mother?
Then again, just because she is Victoria, the Spice Girl, and Mrs. Beckham, any appearance she makes will become a weathervane for people to study. Even if she wears flat shoes that are rare in a century, no one will find them intrusive. What's more, she gave birth to one child after another, but she was still a size zero.
Y has a suit from a commoner family. She struggled with how to wear it both handsome and charming. I thought about it and said, thin.
Be thin of course.If you're not Kelly Clarkson, Adele, Hilary Duff, or Fan Ye, you'd better have a good body. The Devil Wears Prada
At the beginning of the movie, Hathaway obediently changed her hips from a size 6 to a size 4 despite her disdain for fashion.
A best friend fell in love with a motorcycle jacket, but she had sloping shoulders and a pitifully small frame. Even the shop assistant couldn't help laughing when she tried it on, it really didn't fit.But she couldn't forget that coat, because Faye Wong wore it so aura in the street photos.
But, I want to say, that's Faye Wong, she is also a queen wrapped in a duvet, if she doesn't have a body like hers with a thin waist and long legs, how can she feel that she is so cold at a high place?If it were you and me, it would be considered cute if you could look like a mochi in that quilt, but the worst thing would be that the hem of your clothes is still dragging on the ground.
How can ordinary people learn from Faye Wong? She had sunburn makeup in 1998. In addition to wearing stockings outside her high heels, she also put high heels on her head.The collocation rules that everyone regards as standard are all invalid for her. Even if she wears the wrong clothes, people will regard them as a brand new fashion that belongs only to her.
How many Beckhams and Faye Wongs are there in the world?Xiao S once said the truth, the casual expressions of the actresses, in fact, I don’t know how many processes have been polished. Their casual street photos are naturally the highest level of meticulous craftsmanship.What's more, their casual small T-shirts and small accessories are enough for us to have several sets of outfits.
If superficial skills are a visible straight line, Einstein Jobs and others are at one end, Beckham and Faye Wong are at the far other end, and the rest are us who are struggling in the middle.
It seems that Bill Gates said, until you succeed, it is best not to overemphasize dignity.
Of course, dignity cannot be discarded arbitrarily. We must have a bottom line for human beings.But this is just the bottom line. We can’t be as confident as thanking our ears, and live like no one else. We don’t have that kind of IQ and confidence, and we can’t regard ourselves as God and everyone as a mortal.
So even if you are so talented, and you can move the whole universe with a lever, you should still pay attention to your appearance, because it will only highlight your wisdom.Unkempt can indeed be used to describe an unrestrained high-level person, but it is not a commendatory word after all. If it is not high-level person, an ordinary dirty ghost can only be a sloppy king.
One of the luckiest things about being a human being is to be born with a good skin. Even if beautiful people do something wrong, people will forgive them very tolerantly.But beauty has a limited shelf life after all, and if you are too stupid, even if you are as beautiful as a fairy, you can only make people feel disgusted. A "vase" is always a "gadget", no matter how expensive and rare a "gadget" is, it is only a difference in the price figure, and people will not communicate equally with a "gadget".
There is a folk saying that wearing a dragon robe does not look like a prince, which is used to emphasize the importance of the inner.
The Li family in the Tang Dynasty was never looked down upon by famous families because of their alien blood.The emperor was outraged, and ordered to prohibit intermarriage among prominent families, and the prominent families would rather "steal their daughters to their husbands' homes, or leave the old women unmarried, and never marry with different surnames."It can be seen that in the eyes of the nobles, if the blood of barbarians flows in the bone marrow, even if they are wearing yellow robes, they are not considered noble.
Of course, the concept of family status and bloodlines cannot be regarded as a strict standard, but this family status and blood lineage are more representative of excellent family cultural traditions, family traditions, and the enviable achievements of the children in the family, such as "Wang Xie is full of Jin books" .In contrast, Li Tang's royal family did have some shortcomings, so that they could not hold their heads up in the face of famous families.
But a famous family is not considered high-spirited and honest. Many times they are poor and sick, but they still stick to the rules and insist on not associating with foreign surnames, even causing tragedies. This inevitably makes people feel too pedantic.
This is true for royal families and famous families, let alone ordinary people.How do you show your dignity before the world knows you?You can't be "casual" all the time, you have to cultivate both internally and externally, learn from each other's strengths, and do your best.
No matter how much wealth you have, if you don’t use wisdom to maintain and grow it, you can only sit and eat in the end; no matter how much wisdom you have, if you don’t have power and wealth to clear the way, you can only bury beautiful jade deep in the mountains and cannot play its fullest role.
Guo Meimei and Hermès have been showing off for so long, but Sun Yunyun used it as a dog bag. It stands to reason that people should start to blackmail Sun Yunyun, but most people still despise Guo Meimei, and few people speak ill of Sun Yunyun.As a socialite, Paris Hilton's reputation is not much better than those who show off their wealth, just because she has too many problems.
When Princess Kate first appeared in front of the media, there were still traces of Chai Heniu, but she quickly transformed into a new generation of dressing guide.
At the beginning, some people were talking about whether she had "expert advice" behind her. I think this is the same as a poor old farmer imagining that the emperor's breakfast is a few pieces of sesame cakes and bowls of soy milk-the declining royal family is also a royal family, and the emaciated camel is bigger than the horse , not to mention that the British royal family is still one of the oldest royal families.
To get the admission ticket to the royal family, she herself is a "superior person". It will be a matter of time before she becomes a national model. All she has to do is to persist and maintain it.
The ancients said that three generations of officials did not know how to dress and eat. It can be seen how deep the inner foundation is for this "superficial skill" to be beautiful.So people in the Qing Dynasty had a saying that specifically hurt the nouveau riche: Fang Xinshu's small paintings are not ancient, so this person must be the Ministry of Internal Affairs.
Today's royal family is not necessarily inferior to the aristocrats at their peak. In the eyes of the aristocrats, celebrities, celebrities and ladies are all nothing more than the "Ministry of Internal Affairs".
So the aristocratic ladies in "Dream of Red Mansions" wear "semi-new" clothes, just like "real ladies with temperament" in Yi Shu's mouth, they "never show off everything she has, she doesn't tell people what she has read books, where have you been, how many clothes you have, what jewelry you have bought”, because they have no “inferiority feeling”.
It is conceivable that a really rich person generally does not show off his wealth, nor does a really wise person show off his brilliance.
Showing off itself is a low-level behavior.Someone concluded that the more people show off, the more they lack.Because no matter what you show off, you just want to attract people's attention, self-hype, and the last thing is to arouse the envy of others, so as to show a sense of superiority that "I have what you don't".
But in fact people who like to show off get the most abuse and ridicule, which is not what they want, but it is exactly what they deserve.
So my understanding is that what people get by showing off is what they really lack.
Wealth and wisdom are things that everyone needs, but it is best for them to be synchronized, otherwise, they can only restrain each other and cannot play a real role.
sorry to get angry
Once upon a time, there was a person in the office who liked to help people tidy up their computers in his spare time. Especially when he saw too many and messy files on someone’s desktop, he had to file and classify them and clean them up.However, he is not an expert. Most of the results of cleaning up are complete computer crashes, which cannot be repaired, and become waste products.
He also knew that his hands were smelly, but he just couldn't help but want to operate it.After a long time, as long as we see him, we have to hide the computer.
Although he scrapped many computers by himself, everyone was embarrassed to get angry. Firstly, they were too familiar to show their face, and secondly, because they had good intentions, but their skills were not good enough, so they did bad things with good intentions.
In "Wulin Biography", when Guo Furong first appeared on the stage, she pretended to be a black and white hero, adding a lot of chaos without knowing the truth, but thinking that she was doing justice for the sky and eliminating harm for the people.
Liu E expressed a unique point of view in "Lao Can's Travel Notes", which is to expose the "honest and upright officials"
tyranny.Corrupt officials have always been beaten by everyone, but Liu E thinks that honest officials are even more hateful and unknown.
There is also a similar famous saying in "Nine Pins of Sesame Officials", corrupt officials are treacherous, and honest officials are more treacherous than corrupt officials.Because most of them pretend to be clean and honest, and they are self-willed. They kill people for the sake of political achievements, and they harm the country.
How similar is this to Sima Qian's description in "Biography of the Cool Officials"!Liu E had an insight into history and came to the conclusion: "Thirty to four out of ten major events in the world are worse than treacherous officials; six to seven out of ten are worse than ignorant gentlemen."
A gentleman is originally a compliment to people, but if he sticks to the way of a gentleman without knowing how to adapt, he will appear pedantic and unreasonable. The consequences of this are much more serious than bad people making trouble.
What's even more frightening is that the gentleman always insists that he is doing good deeds. His starting point is justice and harmlessness. As long as he says "I'm doing it for your own good", he can choke you so hard that you can't tell.
"I'm doing it for your own good", these words are simply a killer.
We will never lack such "good-hearted people" who "for your own good".They are like "honest officials" who think they are morally impeccable, and by extension feel that they are right about everything.
From the perspective of ordinary people, we will not be nice to people we have never met before, nor will we be nice to anyone casually, we will only be nice to those we care about.Because the starting point is so lofty, so confident.
I still can’t agree with grandpas and aunts’ love of introducing people to people and urging people to get married and have children. I think they are not entirely doing things for others, but have a kind of hidden malice, which they may not even realize.
When people do things, they are unintentionally attached to other meanings. Although the original intention is good, the result is not satisfactory.If someone is pretending to be kind, it is worse than outright imposing on others.
If you haven't found someone, why don't you?Are you married? Why not?Did you have a baby? Why not?I haven't had children for such a long time, isn't there something wrong?Yo, your daughter is too fat, should she lose weight?Ah, your daughter lost weight so quickly, did she go for liposuction?
For questions like these, I think they can be answered uniformly with a sentence of "it's none of your business".It's a pity not, because they are for your own good, because they have watched you grow up since they were young, and they care about you.
The question is, do you feel love? All I can feel is the malice in this world.
In dog blood TV series, I often hear people yelling like this, they have done so much for you and me, but what have you done for me?Or someone complained that you are not as good to me as I am to you!
Many times people think that they are giving for free, without desire or demand, but in fact it may not be so.Sometimes it is just because the rewards people are looking for are not real material things, this kind of illusion is produced.
People pay morally, and what they hope to get is moral rewards, and the closer the relationship, the more urgent this hope is.
If someone says, I am willing to die for you!Once you are moved to accept this hot passion, I am afraid that you will have to pay an unprecedented moral price in the future.
I am good to you, in fact, I hope you are good to me.Parents love their children, even if it is natural, they also hope that their children will return by being obedient and obedient, not for nothing.
People's troubles, good teachers.Almost everyone has the desire to transform others with their own values, but this strength varies from person to person.
A colleague calls to ask what his child ate in the kindergarten on the first day of school, and then immediately calls home to give instructions to the grandparents or grandparents who take care of the child: "He ate XXX today, he didn't eat OOO, go home Make up for it quickly! Also, he has eaten enough meat, and he won’t be able to eat any more meat tomorrow!”
There were several reprimands interspersed in the interval: "Who asked you to feed him this! Do you know how unhygienic this thing is! Are you responsible for the bad stomach?"
As I listened to it, I couldn't help feeling my scalp tingling. It turns out that after becoming a mother, people will become so scary.It is undeniable that she is also a person with a strong desire to control, but when she controls to this extent, she can't help feeling a little bit sweaty for her child.
From my point of view, her child has small arms and legs and is extremely thin. He is 4 years old but he is not a few centimeters taller than other children who are two and a half years old. Eating more meat may have many benefits. serious.
But maybe I don't know the truth, maybe the child will have a fever and diarrhea if he eats too much meat. Besides, I have never been a mother before, so I can't understand the anxious mood of mothers.
I have a classmate who was served with distilled water and disinfectant at home when he was just born, and medical gauze was used as towels and handkerchiefs, and he grew up in a sterile room.When it's time to go to school, of course I can't stand the dirty air outside, asthma, skin allergies, all kinds of diseases come.
It seems that for a long time, many people lack respect for the subjective consciousness of others in their values, thinking that as long as it is "for your own good", they have the right to make decisions for you and decide many things on your behalf.
My dad is like this, he likes to eat noodles, and the whole family has to eat noodles with him.What's worse, his favorite food is far more than just noodles.My dad's most representative sentence is, this food is so delicious, I like it, why don't you like it?
When I was in elementary school, my breakfast was usually a big bowl of noodles and two poached eggs, and I was not allowed to go to school until I finished eating.And my dad would raise the problem of not being able to finish the meal to the height of my disobedience and rebellion, because I was often beaten badly for breakfast.I can't hold grudges against my dad, only eggs.
After I got married, I ate breakfast at my mother-in-law's house for the first time. She also made noodles, and there were two eggs in my bowl.I ate one silently, but I really didn't know what to do with the other, so I had to call Mr. X.
After a few days, the egg in the morning became one, and the mother-in-law said, I think you can't finish two eggs, so I only cracked one for you.
The thing is so strange. My dad was full of love, but the child cried and the adults jumped; my mother-in-law reduced my breakfast, and I didn’t eat it if I didn’t like it. It’s no big deal, but I thought it was the best.
I can't tell my mother about this, she will definitely say that my mother-in-law is reluctant to give it to me, but according to my observation, Mr. X is treated in the same way, as long as he is not too partial to food or has special needs, he will never force him to eat if he really doesn't want to eat.
From this point of view, it is really a rare virtue to observe words and expressions and be considerate, but if you don't have a clear heart, you'd better think twice before doing things.
Compared with having bad intentions, doing good deeds is of course a clear conscience, but in order to reduce a little backfire, you really need a little more wisdom.Before practicing one's own virtue, seeking the consent of others is a respect for others, and it is more important than doing good deeds.
Maybe a lot of unnecessary detours
I started smoking with a very handsome brother, because he looks really handsome when he smokes, and I started with a senior sister whom I admire a lot, because she looks really charming when she smokes.
Remember a saying: You will fall in love with a certain taste because of a certain man.Then the reason why I fell in love with the smell of cigarettes, compared to falling in love with the opposite sex, is simply naive to the extreme.
However, the result of my imitation was not good. Someone saw me smoking and said: You smoke like a big wood turtle, with the smell of fresh loach that just climbed up from the muddy field.I asked him, have you ever smelled loach?He said I don't have a sense of humor... In short, my smoking stems from pretending, and it's right to carry it forward for working overtime.I sometimes don't breathe it into my lungs, but simply puff it up for satisfaction.
A while ago, I was renovating my home, and I had a lot of things at work. I really didn’t want to drag it until the Mid-Autumn Festival and National Day. One can't help it, one after another.Smoky, bursting with inspiration.
This is the "meaning of smoking".
However, after a few sticks, my eyes hurt, and my mouth was dry. I couldn't smoke the remaining half stick of Marlboro Explosive Beads.I imitated the appearance of the charming senior sister in my memory, raised my little orchid finger, then pinched the butt of the cigarette with my thumb and forefinger, lightly lit a little in the ashtray, and then threw the cigarette into it—this series of actions After finishing it, I feel that I am too Feel and stylish!Quickly took out the small mirror to take a picture, um, it really looks like a national treasure.So happily continue working.
A few minutes later, the study room was still filled with a strong smell of cigarettes. It turned out that a certain cigarette butt in the ashtray was not willing to disappear in smoke, and still stubbornly resisted.I picked up a ballpoint pen without looking at it, and smashed it in the ashtray, thinking that you should put it out now.But my thoughts were interrupted, and I felt that I should have some supper for myself, so I went to the kitchen to plan some food, and unexpectedly found the half bag of good shrimp chips that Gouwa's father had eaten, and returned to the room contentedly, It turned out that the ashtray was still smoking.At that time, my QQ window popped up with jet lag, I chatted with him, picked up the longest cigarette butt in the ashtray and pinched it, then, the urge to urinate hit, I went to the bathroom and went back to the house , found - the ashtray, still smoking!
Ouch, I'm going to go!I was very angry and the consequences were severe.
I turned on the light and carefully observed which cigarette butt was causing the trouble. It turned out that the half-smoked Marlboro was still lingering, but it was releasing the strongest part of the cigarette tail.
I... an adult with a normal IQ, lost three times to a cigarette butt, and let it burn myself out by luck. I feel very shameless.
By the time I finished work and went to bed, it was almost dawn.I always feel like I can smell the smoke from that cigarette butt, and it lingers.I was probably uneasy because I was so shameless.
Actually, I'm not having trouble with that Marlboro, my caffeine and nicotine overexcited brain thinks a lot about a cigarette butt.
Not long ago, the project at hand was not progressing smoothly, and I was very sloppy and kept standing still, which made me lose my hair in a hurry.For a while, I complained that the task "is teasing me, because it is impossible to complete", for a while I called the partner impatiently and said that they really couldn't understand what I meant, and for a while I resented my colleagues for always doing the simple things by myself, and the difficult ones were all done. Leave it to me unselfishly, and complain for a while that my man has not done much housework recently. The mess at home affects my mood, which in turn affects my emotions. and instructions.
There is no suspense, my project is getting more and more difficult, seeing that the death is approaching, I am always at a loss and scratching my head at the computer.Finally, when my own bottom line was broken, my emotions flooded like a dike and flooded out of control. I smashed and robbed people and pets at home, and cried hysterically.
It's been a long time since I vented such unreasonable emotions, and after I finished, I felt that there was only one word - cool!Three words - really cool!
After having a good time, I feel calm and calm, with pessimistic heroism attached to it-the work is nothing special, the big deal is that I can’t do it well, and my mother will quit!Is it okay for my wife to be a housewife?I'm in a hurry and I'm going to a nightclub to sell my jokes, are you not convinced?Really, quit and quit!Turn off the computer, sneak my dog out and stroll around the community for more than an hour, and then go home to take a bath and sleep comfortably.
When I was brushing my teeth the next morning, I suddenly had a burst of inspiration, as if some nerve had been baptized.I found the crux of the project’s inability to go on—it’s all on me. I subdivided the work to unsuitable people without thinking, and let the suitable people idle to find work... Hey, I won’t go into details.
Suddenly there are a lot of flow charts in my mind, distribution diagrams, everyone is working together in full swing, and after the project is completed, there is a picture of spreading flowers downstairs in Niu Dawan... The whole world is different, and my brain cells are really cheering for me. Victory is beckoning to me. Although I have a serious lack of sleep, I don't feel sleepy any more in an instant.
Then, just like turning on the plug-in and entering the invincible mode, "swipe" to finish the work and celebrate the success before starting work.
This incident has the same effect as my pinching the wrong cigarette butt.Walking into a wrong path is like pinching the wrong butt of a cigarette.You feel that you have been choked, and you have been choked more than once, but the dead are still dying there, and the living are still lingering.
Although I am a layman in economics, I also know a little about sunk costs. The sad thing is that sometimes the investment and effort, no matter whether it is very heavy or not, and whether it is outrageously wrong, I am not willing to use it even for one night. Time to stop and think about whether to change direction.And just humming and hawing, "feeling very busy", but "never getting results".My family thinks I'm working hard, and Gouwa thinks it's not easy for me to support a family. Only I know that I've just changed to a good way of pretending to be a foreign worker.
Maybe many unnecessary detours have nothing to do with the disappearance of sunk costs, but are only positively related to the fact that one of my stupid and lazy roads has gone dark, so that I can work hard in the opposite direction.It seems that you are working very hard and desperately, but you are actually doing it to your death, just doing it to your death.
When I was very young, my mother told me that working hard is more important than hard work.If you don’t have the heart, then don’t use any gong, it’s useless if you use it.Now I take it for granted, no matter if I pinch the butt of a cigarette and don’t look at such trivial matters, or when I’m working, I’m busy with my eyes closed, and sometimes even in my love life, I feel that I have worked hard and devoted myself, but the harvest will always be rubbish. .There should be such a reason.
I have always scoffed at the theory that "you can have everything if you work hard".I always like to read the family history of some big bosses. Looking back, you will find that the big boss is no different from any of us. The boss of SF Express used to carry private goods at the port. Liu Qiangdong used to sell Zanji in Zhongguancun. Ma Huateng is For plagiarism, 360 is for rogue software.Among their contemporaries, some are still smuggling private goods, some are still killing customers in Zhongguancun, some are still plagiarizing, some are still hooligans, and more don’t know where to hang them.In terms of effort, who works harder than whom?If you hang up early, you may not be able to afford to be greedy early and late to take your wealth and life.
I believe that luck is a necessary factor to become a big man, and I believe that IQ is even more so.It's not a question of 80 or 180 IQ, it should be hard work.Persistence in majors, love for things, and then cultivate and train judgment and decision-making skills.Looking at things in lower dimensions from higher dimensions, there will not be too much error probability.
Try, most of us will.With [-] million in front, who wouldn't work hard like a fool?
Persist, if every effort you make has an effect instead of being in vain every time, I believe most people will also persist.Who doesn't pursue a sense of accomplishment?
But attentively, not everyone can.At least for now, I spend more than 70% of my time living in darkness.Occasionally, when a 30% inspiration flashes, I already feel like I'm on the hook.What if the probability is slightly higher?Is it going to be scary?
This is also the case with pinching cigarettes. I pinched it several times, not because I was incapable of pinching it, but because I didn't bother to pinch it at all.The same goes for work.
Some people work hard to live, some people work hard to die.I look at all living beings, but there is no one who does not work hard.It's just a shortcut between the goal hanging above the head and the road under the feet. Some people work hard to get farther and farther, and some people work hard to shorten and surpass it.
Sometimes, we don't lose to laziness, we really lose to stupidity.
(End of this chapter)
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