monologue

Chapter 79 (1)
Originally, Shen Yue planned to fly back the next day, but he changed his mind when he woke up.Because of a dream, a dream he could remember clearly after waking up.

In the dream, Shen Yue came to a golf course, with the blue sky and white clouds above his head, and the green grass in front of his eyes. A tall man in white sportswear was swinging his golf ball gracefully. The white ball drew a beautiful arc. Fall exactly behind the line into a hole.

The man saw him and ran towards him quickly. He saw clearly that this man was Qiu Jiwu.But for a moment he forgot his purpose.Qiu Jiwu said: "I've been waiting for you. Let's go, go to my house. My wife is a good cook."

At this time, Qiu Jiwu was wearing a suit of very good texture, which looked more elegant and personable.He took Shen Yue into a villa, and several beautiful maids greeted them. Qiu Jiwu hugged them, and even kissed the most beautiful maid on the face.The beautiful maid smiled and said, "I'll call my wife."

After a while, a very pleasant voice came: "Jiwu, who is here?"

Why is the voice so familiar?Shen Yue was surprised when he saw a familiar smiling face appearing in front of him.At this moment, his whole body froze - the person in front of him was Kang Ruxin!
Kang Ruxin glanced at Shen Yue, and asked Qiu Jiwu, "Who is this person?"

It turned out that she was not Kang Ruxin, but she just looked like her.Shen Yue breathed a sigh of relief, and immediately heard Qiu Jiwu say: "Ru Xin, why did you forget? He is Shen Yue."

Kang Ruxin looked at him in surprise: "Shen Yue? How did you become like this? Did you have too many cases recently? You are dark and thin. You didn't come when Jiwu and I got married. You are still alone ?”

Shen Yue suddenly felt as if his heart had been hammered, and his legs were as heavy as cast lead.The face in front of her is so beautiful, but she has become someone else's lover.At this moment, he burst into tears...

When he woke up, Shen Yue found that tears were still on his face. The scene in the dream was so clear, and Kang Ruxin's beauty and gentleness were vividly remembered, which made it difficult for him to escape from the dream for a while.Shen Yue is an expert in dream interpretation, he fully understands what the subconsciousness reflected in his dream is.

Deep down in his heart, he was anxious and afraid.He already cared so much about Kang Ruxin, that's why he was so afraid of losing her.His heart is full of inferiority complex, and he feels that only a man with elegant temperament like Qiu Jiwu is worthy of Kang Ruxin. At the same time, he is also blaming himself for not being able to spend too much time with her. Ruxin's words came out.In addition, his subconscious mind is also blaming Kang Ruxin: Why did you marry Qiu Jiwu?Because he looks better than me?Or is it because he is rich?

After waking up, Shen Yue couldn't help asking himself after analyzing the dream: Could it be that she is that kind of woman in your subconscious mind?
But he soon understood that it was down to his deep contempt for her, thinking that she was just as superficial and realistic as most other women.In the final analysis, it was because he thought too highly of himself, and it was because he was intentionally widening the distance between himself and Kang Ruxin.

Dreams reflect a person's subconscious mind and are the most real thoughts deep in a person's heart.For a psychologist, he can clearly analyze the true meaning contained in it, so he can face himself more than ordinary people.In fact, the purpose of a psychiatrist to help others interpret dreams is also the same: through analyzing dreams, the goal is to let others understand themselves, know themselves, and ultimately change themselves.

Therefore, Shen Yue decided to stay.This is a beautiful city. He and Kang Ruxin came to this place not only to investigate Lu Wenhua's case, but also to enjoy the good life bestowed on them by God.Yes, God bestowed Kang Ruxin on him, if he can't cherish it well, he may lose his whole world.

Kang Ruxin was very happy to hear Shen Yue express her desire to stay for a few more days, but she was still a little worried: "What about the case in hand?"

Shen Yue looked at her and said, "There is more than just work in our life, don't you think so?"

Kang Ruxin smiled and said: "Your words are too reasonable. So, how did you arrange it?"

When a woman's heart has completely belonged to a man, she will naturally give up the right to make decisions about certain things.In our society, it is very difficult for women to break away from the dependence on men that has been passed down for thousands of years, and they often do not realize that they have the right to break free.But the premise is that she has fallen in love with this man.

Shen Yue smiled and asked her: "When I came here, I noticed that there were many advertisements for 'Fisher House' on both sides of the road leading from the airport to the city. Do you want to experience the 'Fisher House'?"

Kang Ruxin asked: "What is 'Yujiale'?"

She is really not good at observing details.Shen Yue replied: "It's the same concept as our 'nongjiale', but 'fisherman's joy' is to experience the life of fishermen. Go to sea with fishermen, go fishing, watch the sea, and enjoy the freshly caught seafood from the sea. Food. In fact, I have never experienced that kind of life, and the advertisement said so."

Kang Ruxin suddenly became excited: "Great! It must be fun and romantic."

Shen Yue couldn't help laughing.In the hearts of women, romance is always their beautiful yearning.For example, the former Lin Xiaodong.

Lingdingyang was breezy and the waves were calm. It was a very good day, and even Shen Yue felt that it was a deliberate gift from heaven to him and Kang Ruxin.As soon as he boarded this fishing boat, Kang Ruxin became curious and excited.She watched the fishermen cast their nets with great interest, and went with them to pull the huge fishing nets out of the sea. When she saw all kinds of fish jumping in the fishing nets, she couldn't help jumping for joy.

After all, she is young, as long as she is happy.Shen Yue couldn't let himself relax completely like her, not because of deliberation, but because he couldn't do it.Although he is only 32 years old, the things he has experienced, including the darkness he has touched, make it difficult for him to fully open his heart.

Kang Ruxin noticed his expression, walked over quickly and asked, "Are you unhappy?"

Shen Yue smiled and shook his head at her, saying: "I'm very happy, I'm happy to see you so happy."

She snuggled into Shen Yue's arms and asked softly, "Are you still thinking about Lu Wenhua's case?"

Shen Yue gently hugged her soft waist, shook his head and said, "No, I was thinking about what kind of mood Wen Tianxiang had when he passed Lingdingyang."

Kang Ruxin left his embrace immediately, turned to look at him, and said with a smile, "Why are you so deep? I'm in front of you, how can you think about that ancient man?"

Shen Yue shook his head with a wry smile and said, "I'm not a poet. Why should I think about the ancients? What I'm talking about is Wen Tianxiang's state of mind at that time-everyone in life has died since ancient times, and his loyalty will be preserved to reflect the history. Have you ever thought about it? It's not just him , Why have so many people been able to face life and death calmly since ancient times? In the final analysis, it is because of the attachment in the heart. What is attachment? It is a person's heart. Therefore, a person with a strong heart is truly invincible."

Kang Ruxin nodded and looked at him: "So, are you strong inside?"

Shen Yue smiled and said: "You don't understand what I really want to say. In fact, each of us is very strong in the heart, but few people pay attention to this problem. Some people are not afraid of life and death for their ideals. A child can lift a car in an instant, which is actually a manifestation of our inner strength. At the same time, some people are still persistently fighting no matter how difficult life is; These are all manifestations of a strong heart. A strong heart is not a commendatory term, nor is it a derogatory term. That kind of powerful power already exists in our hearts and deep in our souls, but some people use that power in In terms of righteousness, some people just use it to satisfy their own selfishness."

Kang Ruxin was stunned for a moment, and said, "This is the first time I've heard such a theory."

Shen Yue said sternly: "I'm talking about the facts, which exist in the first place, the inner state of each of us. Let's take Lu Wenhua as an example. Is his heart strong enough? The answer is yes. For that Is it a strong heart to give up the pursuit of love because of the position of the workshop director? Is it a strong heart to live with such an ugly woman for that perverted idea? Because I am afraid that my ugliness will be exposed for more than ten years. Resisting not to further violate Song Zhenzhen, is this a strong heart? Not only him, but also Lei Meng, Song Zhenzhen, and many people around us, as long as you analyze them carefully, you will find that each of us The heart is very strong. Some people say that suicide is a sign of inner weakness, but it is not always true. When a person is not even afraid of death, it may also be a sign of inner strength.”

Kang Ruxin seemed to understand: "You mean that Lu Wenhua may have committed suicide?"

Shen Yue asked her back: "Doesn't this need to be ruled out?"

Kang Ru couldn't help shaking his head, and said, "That way of dying, no matter how you look at it, it doesn't look like a scene of suicide."

Shen Yue understood what she was referring to, and said, "I'm just analyzing from Lu Wenhua's psychological point of view. I once saw a report that a medical student cut off one of his testicles when no one was in the dormitory, and the blood flowed immediately. He was so frightened that he called his classmate quickly, and was rushed to the hospital to stop the bleeding. But not long after, the medical student cut off his remaining testicle. There are three situations when a man cuts off his genitals: one is to hate his own gender, the other is to feel disgusted by sex, and the third is to punish himself for his mistakes because of sex. Only we humans will have such a psychology, That kind of psychology deviates from the instinct of animals, because we humans know how to think, know good and evil, beauty and ugliness. The psychological collision and opposition of two huge forces make a person make such a choice. Yes, it is a choice, then It is a decisive battle between two powerful inner forces, and it seems to many of us to be an extremely perverted approach, but for him, it is precisely the result of his inner decisive battle, and it is a normal inner reaction."

Kang Ruxin was shocked by his words, her body was trembling.However, Shen Yue didn't seem to notice her reaction at this time. He squinted his eyes and looked at the endless blue ocean, and continued: "Although I am not sure that Lu Wenhua committed suicide, I think it is very likely that he did that. Because his actions are in line with his psychological logic. More importantly, his heart is strong enough. A person who can only carry 100 catties in the eyes of others but shoulders the burden of 200 catties, but he firmly believes that he can bear 100 catties He has a heavy burden, and he stubbornly believes that the organization only gave him a burden of [-] catties... Moreover, now I can completely think this way: He found Qin Wenxiu and lived with her. Isn't that a kind of self-adjustment? His heart He has an extremely perverted virginity complex, but he finally calmed down his inner world in that way, and finally restrained himself in front of Song Zhenzhen. A person like this, how strong his heart is! If my guess is correct , if he is really such a person, I should go to his grave and bow to him..."

Kang Ruxin looked at him in astonishment: "Shen Yue, how can you be so indiscriminate between right and wrong? A person who disregards the infamy and becomes a traitor has a strong heart. Don't you think he deserves respect? Lu Wenhua treats Song Zhenzhen so pervertedly. , to keep Qin Wenxiu for one's own desire, how is this different from a beast? Shen Yue, don't you always have a bottom line and principles? Each of us has our own instincts and desires, but a society needs laws and Ethically bound..."

Seeing Kang Ruxin's excited expression, Shen Yue suddenly came to his senses, and said with a wry smile: "I'm the one who did it. You're right, I accept your criticism."

This was the first time Shen Yue admitted his mistake in front of Kang Ruxin, and it was only then that Kang Ruxin realized that she was a little excited just now.This guy is sometimes a nerd, and when he gets into a corner, he tends to get confused.She made a "puchi" sound and said with a smile: "Perfect? ​​Do you still want to become a monk? I won't allow it!"

Do you want to be a monk?Shen Yue couldn't laugh or cry.However, Kang Ruxin had already picked up the phone and dialed: "Captain Long, is it possible that Lu Wenhua committed suicide? Shen Yue suddenly felt that there was a possibility... Well, the forensic doctor should re-appraise those wounds."

After the phone call, she smiled at Shen Yue, and said coquettishly: "From now on, you are not allowed to think about the case anymore, let's go and have fun together."

Shen Yue suddenly felt that he was a little too much, and smiled at her: "Yes, sir!"

The interior and the coast are like two completely different worlds.Shen Yue and Kang Ruxin were still wearing shirts when they boarded the plane in Zhuhai at night, but after getting off the plane, their eyes were covered with snow. Although they had already put on down jackets, they still felt chilly.Kang Ruxin took Shen Yue's arm, leaned against his body, and said with a smile: "It would be great if we lived there, I'm most afraid of the cold."

Shen Yue smiled and said: "The people over there may not necessarily think like you. Because of the change of seasons, we can feel the splendor of spring, the heat of summer, the warmth of autumn, and the whiteness of winter. This is what God bestows on us. Beautiful, nothing is perfect without it.”

Kang Ruxin suddenly remembered the words he said when he was in Macau, and teased: "I never thought that you, a doctor of psychology, are so superstitious. Do you really believe that there is a God who controls our destiny?"

Shen Yue said: "Although I don't know whether there are gods, gods and hell in this world, I hope people have faith. People without faith will not have a sense of awe, and will often do whatever they want when their own interests are endangered , lost the most basic moral bottom line. Just like Lu Wenhua... By the way, is there any news from Officer Long?"

Kang Ruxin said: "Let's go to his place tomorrow and report to him about our trip to the south."

Shen Yue waved his hand and said, "I want to report to you. Report what? We don't have any other clues at present, unless the forensic report shows that he committed suicide. If that's the case, this case can finally be closed."

(End of this chapter)