Waiting for a long time, Captain

Chapter 18 Unexpected Life and Death Unknown
There was no way to let herself think about it anymore, she got out of the car, and Asu ran up to hug her, his voice was very small, but he kept telling her that it was okay.How can it be all right?It has been an hour since he disappeared.

It wasn't until she entered that she realized the seriousness of the situation. Even Lu Zhao had already rushed over. When she saw her, she gestured to the people around her, and soon everyone backed away, giving them enough space to talk.

"Ah Cen's parents don't know about this matter so far. The matter I mentioned does not refer to his disappearance, but another matter." He pondered for a while, looked at Gu Zeng's face, hesitantly, "Gu Zeng, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, maybe I can talk to you in another way, Dr. Lu, I'm no longer the girl who suffered from sadness. In three years, I have been able to talk to you so well that I don't have to be completely emotional. "

Lu Zhao nodded: "Okay, I think he should be most worried about you when something like this happens."

Gu Zeng expressed his understanding, looked at the time, and his voice softened: "Is there no news yet?"

"No." After analyzing rationally, Lu Zhao decided to tell her the truth, "Perhaps there should have been such an opportunity before Christmas. He told you that he adjusted the flight for Lu Jin, and you met by chance. somewhere."

Gu Zeng thought about it for a while, then nodded: "Yes, I saw him at the flower and bird market that time, and he was drinking tea in his aunt's shop. I asked him at that time, and he explained that Lu Jin had a busy schedule and had to accommodate him." Moreover, he smiled softly and harmlessly, "So, he was lying at that time?"

"That's right. He didn't fly because he noticed something wrong with his eyes. It should have been at the beginning. He just realized that he might not be able to fly again in the future." Due to the sensitivity of this topic, even though he said The voice was very low, but it was unavoidable that many people present cast good-natured glances.

Gu Zeng suddenly understood why after hearing such news, even though he had no close friendship with him, he was still crying.There will be such an existence, even if you are far away from him, even if he just smiles and nods at you and then passes by, he will be deeply remembered in his heart, and he will feel sad because he lost his news.

"I thought it was just fatigue, but after transferring to a domestic short-haul flight, the situation still couldn't be relieved, and he began to decide that he would take a vacation." Thinking of this, Lu Zhao added: "Not long ago at the holiday house, when I saw us fishing together, there He had handed in his resignation earlier."

As soon as these words were uttered, many people looked at the big boss, and without any surprise they got affirmative nods.

The big boss is also very sorry: "Before inviting him to join the company, I had many in-depth chats with him in Atlanta. I trust his skills and character very much, but it is a pity that he resigned very decisively and did not even give a capable Reasons to convince me."

But now, everyone can understand, because of Lu Zhao's next words.

"At the end of this year, the Atlanta Air Force Department and his comrades in the same batch will retire. They should have an agreement to go to Khartoum to fulfill the unfulfilled dreams of the comrades who died in combat. Therefore, under the arrangement of the mentor, As a temporary instructor, he led the group of comrades in the final mission."

Khartoum, Sudanese comrades-in-arms, countries with water shortages, the dream that the big boy couldn't realize, now it is up to several of their comrades-in-arms to complete...

Gu Zeng forced himself to calm down and took a deep breath: "Is it you or him who proposed to go to the vacation house?"

Lu Zhao was a little helpless: "In that kind of day, I would prefer to spend it with Xu Shen alone, and naturally it is not my suggestion. He said that he thought the environment over there was very good and wanted to take you there, and then Considering your friendship with Xu Shen and Qingya, it's just a compromise."

It is natural to think of the night when he got her drunk, it turned out that many things were planned for a long time.Deliberate gentleness, deliberate seduction, deliberate arrangement, too deliberate, he is really too annoying.Don't say anything, just carry it all by yourself.

Lu Zhao changed hands and handed the test report to her, smiling a bit ugly: "Before he flew this time, he asked me for a test. But you know, he is very stubborn. During the ten years in Atlanta, I gave He let him go in no less than a hundred ways that would be more beneficial to his future, but I also understand that flying is his lifelong dream. Most importantly, at such a moment, he clearly knows that his physical condition is no longer suitable for flying, but He still has to fulfill that dream... the matter of life and death, he thinks clearly enough."

Just imagine, if a person who likes to eat meat is asked to stop eating meat in his life, will he feel hopeless?

Some vulgar metaphors made many people present empathize.When one's own dream is cut off abruptly, the only thing one can do is to fulfill the dream of his comrades-in-arms within the limited ability, although it may be at the cost of life, but there is no way, it is the friendship of the men in their military department... He became Becoming such a person is all because of redemption.

From the corner of his eyes, Gu Zeng's eyes were red again when he saw Asu and Qiao hugging each other.Su Wan, the woman who had openly shown her love to him on the wireless channel, also turned around silently.

Even those who had only communicated with him a few times sighed.What a, what an elegant and handsome man, this famous Atlanta miracle.

What about her?She took the report, but didn't read it, she didn't want to read it, she just wanted to know how he is doing now, is he okay?It didn't matter where, as long as he landed and survived.It doesn't matter if they are blind or not, as long as one of them can see.As long as he lives and lives well, she is willing to give him her eyes.

Lu Zhao lightly patted her on the shoulder and comforted her: "Gu Zeng, if there is such a day, he will be willing to accept other people's eyes, but I think this person will definitely not be you, and it will definitely not be me. It is any healthy person. What's more, there will be no such day, and he will only be more reluctant to part with unhealthy people."

She leaned her back against the wall, suppressing herself strongly.He is so kind, and he believes that warmth can always turn a prodigal son back in this world. Even if others swiped at him with a knife, he would definitely not fight back if necessary.A person like him is atoning for sin every moment.

Some people self-denial and courtesy, it is really out of punishment for themselves.

There was no news after a long wait, and then Xu Shen also rushed over to stay by her side.In the middle of the night, she still couldn't fall asleep, and Xu Shen was awakened by her movements, and the two leaned together to talk.

"When I first met you in college, I really felt sorry for myself. I was assigned to share a dormitory with a drunk. The important thing is that you can really drink without distraction. Regardless of everyone's opinions, you can come to the door with the dormitory auntie. At that time, she woke up instantly, showing the appearance of a good girl. At that time, Qingya said that you must be a very filial girl, otherwise you don’t have to be afraid that your aunt will call your parents.” She poured a cup of hot water and handed it over.

Gu Zeng pursed his lips, held the cup with both hands, and did not speak.

"How can a filial girl be so bad? That's why I think you must be sick. I always hear you calling Lu Zhongnian's name at night. Qingya smiled and said that it was because of love." Xu Shen sat next to her, provoking Looking at the hair covering Gu Zeng's face, seeing her pale face, her voice trembled, and she forced a smile, "Qing Ya has always claimed to be a master in the field of love, and she said that comforting you will be fine, but that day You were in so much pain at night that we had to take you to the hospital."

Later, for a long, long time, I felt that she was simply too stupid, how could I love someone so wholeheartedly?After taking her to see a psychiatrist, she learned that alcoholism is a manifestation of grief.

"However, you don't like hypnotherapy, and the situation never got better. I even complained to Qingya and asked her why this love expert couldn't comfort you. Guess what she said?" Xu Shen was caught up in this memory, the corners of his mouth turned up She said, but the expression on her face was very light, so light that it was filled with deep sadness, "She said that she had never seen a case like yours, and how unlucky she was in this life to see a special case like yours. Really, all the reasons There's no way to explain it."

At that time, I already had a strong feeling, including the element of friendship, that it was all destined and there was no way around it.

"Later, I changed several psychiatrists one after another, and your condition finally got better, and you were able to face the doctor, life and treatment by yourself. I am so relieved. I was really happy at that time."

After Lu Zhao, she changed to other doctors, too many to count, and she didn't take it seriously.

Xu Shen propped his chin: "If I had always been a doctor, do you think I would have met Lu Zhao sooner?"

Gu Zeng laughed at her: "It may be another doctor. I remember one of them with a fat head and big ears, and a particularly large belly. It almost destroyed the tall image of a young doctor in my mind."

"Gu Xiaobai, you are so healed that your scars don't hurt!" She glared at her, "If I knew you were so ungrateful, I wouldn't have treated you well back then?"

Knowing that Xu Shen was torturing on purpose, and wanted to divert her attention and make her happier, Gu Zeng hugged her arm and begged for mercy: "I know you have a sharp mouth and a tofu heart, and you won't be willing to treat me like that."

In such a late night, there were only the two of them in the lounge, and the others were still busy looking for his whereabouts.Once it quiets down, it is hard to ignore the sadness, and it surges up again.Every time I think of him, I can't help but get tears in my eyes.

She let go of Xu Shen's arm and hugged her, "Not long ago in Paris, late at night, Qin Wanfeng told me the story between her and Lu Zhongnian, and suddenly rushed out in the middle of the story. At that time, she had She had a strong feeling that Lu Zhongnian was about to wake up, but she still begged God to let Lu Zhongnian wake up at the cost of not dancing for the rest of her life. She explained to me that there was no other way, and she had to pray. Now I can really feel the feeling of powerlessness. If I can’t get news of his safety, there is really nothing I can do. Xu Shen, you know, I’m really willing to give up everything in exchange for his safety, really .” She breathed slowly, her voice lowered, “I really hope he’s fine.”

Xu Shen became nervous, turned on the light and looked at her, carefully trying to figure out the expression on her face.She knew why her friend was so nervous.

"Xu Shen, once in a lifetime is enough for such an illness, if it happens again, I'm really afraid that I won't be able to meet him again."

Whether he lives or dies, it can only be him.

In the morning, it was finally confirmed that the last place where the radar stopped was an abandoned village in South Africa.The helicopter crashed, no one was found on board, only some items were found, which proved to belong to Cen Today.

Some people speculate that during the plane's descent, his body remains were scattered in different places due to pressure and uncertain factors... This is by far the most likely conjecture that is closest to the truth, but everyone is sober. Speculation or not, things are not going to be great.

Qingya also rushed back, got off the plane without even taking her luggage, and sent Gu Zeng home with Xu Shen to rest.The two took turns looking at her, just like they did in college.Xu Shen revealed to Qingya: "When she heard the news, she was very calm and didn't say a word. After a long time, she said that she was tired and wanted to sleep. But she couldn't sleep, it was clearly an escape."

That's how she was when she was suffering from grief, she didn't talk to anyone, she just drank.Now I don’t drink anymore, I lie on the bed every day, say I’m sleeping but keep my eyes open all day and all night, my eyes are black and swollen, full of red blood, and I still don’t talk to anyone.

News from Lu Zhao kept coming, and Xu Shen relayed it to her, saying that they had searched near the crashed plane and only found some items, but no trace of Cen Jinjin himself.

In the end, the word "trace" was used.After so many days, so many people's tears were almost shed, but she couldn't make a sound.In the end, Xu Shen forced her to call her parents if she didn't cheer up again.

That was better, she turned and said she wanted to take a bath.Well, taking a shower is good too.

It was approaching four o'clock in the morning, and Lu Zhao had just left the airport. He was too tired to drive, so he sat in a taxi and watched the scene outside.A couple of couples on the road didn't seem to realize that it was already late at night, and the square was still celebrating, playing cheerful music, and a group of college students were dancing to the music.I'm really envious, it seems that as long as someone is around, I don't care about night and day.

The bathtub was filled with water, and Xu Shen kept telling Gu Zeng: "Just tell me if you need anything, and I'll watch over you at the door."

Gu Zeng nodded and squeezed out a smile: "Okay, I know."

Xu Shen walked out, worried, quickly opened the door and walked to her, regardless of whether she wanted to, hugged her and cried, begging each sentence: "Gu Zeng, please get better, you must get better, I really don't want to do it all over again."

"No." She said to herself, and also to Xu Shen.The voice was light and fluttering, as if it could die at any moment.Xu Shen was really worried, and tried to discuss: "How about I wash it for you?"

Gu Zeng blushed: "It's okay, I'm not disabled."

Xu Shen was so full of words that he choked and couldn't utter a single word, so he walked out immediately.When she was about to close the door, she heard her cry, amidst the sound of dripping water, she said over and over again: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Xu Shen, I didn't mean it... I want to eat some porridge, can I?"

"Okay, okay." Xu Shen tried his best to cope, and went to the kitchen to wash rice and cook porridge.When she received a call from Lu Zhao, she had just soaked the rice and put it in the pot, and looked in the direction of the bathroom. The sound of the water was loud, and she walked towards the balcony.

Lu Zhao asked, "Is Gu Zeng okay?"

"It's not very good, but it's better than before. I'm taking a shower now. Let her have some porridge later."

There seemed to be a sigh on the other side of the phone: "She used to be like this?"

"No, no." Xu Shen recalled, "At that time, she only liked to drink heavily, and she was not very good at communicating with others. It really made people feel distressed."

"Ah."

Xu Shen noticed the fatigue in his voice and asked, "How is the situation now?"

"I still haven't found it, but it's good news. They hope that I can go there to check on A-Cen's belongings in person. I've already booked a ticket for tomorrow."

"it is good."

The two talked a few more words, and Xu Shen told him to go back and have a good rest. Just when he was about to hang up the phone, Lu Zhao asked again: "What did you say Gu Zeng was doing? Taking a bath?"

"yes……"

There was a pause between the words, when he heard the sound of water not far away, it seemed to be still loud, Xu Shen missed a beat in his heart, and then heard Lu Zhao say: "Go and see her, I'll come over right away!"

The situation was really bad.When Xu Shen opened the door, the bathtub was full of water. Gu Zeng was sitting there with his clothes on, his head buried in the water, and he couldn't see his expression clearly.When she went to pull her, when she encountered the temperature of the water, she was so cold that her heart was chilled, and she immediately became furious.

"Gu Zeng, wake up, are you crazy!" She dragged her out heavily, "It's winter, are you going to drown yourself in cold water? What did you say to me just now, you said sorry ...That's how you apologize to me, isn't it!"

Like a duckweed that has lost its center of gravity, Gu Zeng sat casually on the ground, his hair was wet and loose, and his face was expressionless.After a while, I slowly woke up.

Xu Shen cursed with red eyes: "You don't want to die, do you? How could you do this? He hasn't confirmed his death yet! Xiaobai, how can you treat yourself like this..."

She turned her head numbly, and when she realized something, her voice became hoarse: "I'm sorry, Xu Shen, I'm sorry... I'm too tired, I just fell asleep just now."

Xu Shen was about to go crazy, he slumped on the ground, without a trace of strength, staring at her panting.

"I'm sorry, I..." She wanted to pull Xu Shen, but her foot slipped and she fell to the ground again.Xu Shen came to check on her injuries in a panic, but the ground was full of water, the two of them couldn't stand firmly during the tugging, fell back together, and immediately regained consciousness.The water temperature is extremely low, and it is so cold that people keep shivering.

The door was knocked open suddenly, Lu Zhaofeng rushed in, took a look at the situation in the bathroom, and immediately understood.There are too many pictures that come to mind, most of which are similar, shocking.

He was really angry, and blurted out: "Gu Zeng, he is different from you. If this accident hadn't happened, you might still be able to live calmly and face your past because you can truly feel those years. It's not empty and in vain, or uncomfortable or sad, but there must be happiness, anyway, Lu Zannian treats you as a close brother. But he is different, Qu Yanran doesn't love him, doesn't care about him, and won't treat you He is so nice, she is used to playing in the world, using him as a tool for heating... Really, in the same ten years, what he encountered was far more cruel than you. Looking back at the first ten years, every inch is hurt, you know this Do you feel it?"

A big man, after so many days of running around, his eyes have never been red, and now he sees the woman he likes and the only hope of his best friend turned into such a mess, he can't help it, "Qu Yanran When he got married for the first time, he was only notified of the place and time of his marriage. A few months later, he was on a mission at the border, and Su Ge died. Later, he returned to Atlanta, burned all their photos together, and suffered from grief. "

The so-called empathy is not empty talk, just talking on paper.Lu Zhao was terrified to think of his illness countless times.Really, as one of his few friends, he is the only one who has seen his complete past with his own eyes, and every scene is so distressing.

"At that time, he was not drinking heavily, and he was not silent. He would talk to me a lot, and talk about the funny things between them in training. It seemed normal, right? But at night, he would put himself in the cold water, whatever From being submerged, then sticking your head out when you're drowning, staying up all night, smoking cigarettes."

Grief is not the most difficult disease for psychiatrists to deal with and overcome, but it is the only disease that can soften people's hearts.

"I have seen many patients, I have seen many ways to vent, rant or commit suicide, and treat myself crazily in many ways... But grief is different, really, it is very sober and simple, even if you want to die, you can't treat yourself cruelly. No, because the heart is too warm."

So there is really no other way but to smoke or drown, one side is redemption, and the other side is hell.

"Gu Zeng, can you imagine what kind of transformation he has gone through to become such a warm person? At that time, no one would tell him that the more he couldn't extricate himself, the more he could be sober and indifferent. It's atonement. After Su Ge passed away, every time he flew into the sky and landed safely, he was atonement..."

Even if he knew that his eyes would face the plight of blindness one day in the future, he still wanted to give himself an explanation and explain to Su Ge that sometimes he was too serious.

It's sad as hell.Lu Zhao's eyes almost turned red from crying, Xu Shen didn't have time to analyze all of this, what Suge, what atonement?Just looking at them makes me very sad.But Gu Zeng acted instinctively, stood up from the bathroom, walked slowly back to the room, and closed the door.

Lu Zhao said outside: "Gu Zeng, please, don't be so cruel to him. If you treat yourself in the same way, how much he will regret it. He once confessed all this to you!"

It's like this again, it's always like this... I didn't tell her the truth until very late, including Lu's perennial illness and his illness, and I didn't know until so late.After changing her clothes, she sat on the bay window and looked at Cattelan. After thinking for a long time, she closed her eyes, "Is there anyone in this world who misses him more than me?"

Sadness, self-imprisonment, in those days, how clearly I knew that I was not good, how much I wanted to get out of it quickly, but once the disease took hold, how could it be so easy to say?Only when you are infinitely close to hell will you long for dawn and warmth.

Fortunately, they are all very strong people, and they are all very soft and warm people in their bones. After fate gave them such a big setback, they still want to live a good life and become healthy people.Learn to be kind to yourself and be kind to others.Finally, I understand why the relationship between them can be so clear and direct, and understand why the relationship between them can bear fruit when they meet for the first time.

She opened her eyes and looked around the room, her eyes were foggy, thinking that Xu Shen and Lu Zhao were still outside, she started to walk towards them.His last destination before his disappearance was Khartoum, Su Ge's hometown and Su Ge's wish.

She opened the door and looked at the two people standing in the living room, her eyes brightened.

"Go to Khartoum, I believe he must be alive..." His voice choked again, "He may need us very much now."

(End of this chapter)