Waiting for a long time, Captain

Chapter 17 Unfinished Dreams

Several people ate a lot of unhealthy food and drank several drafts of warm beer.When it was very late, they all went to play with the crew, and in the end, only she and Cen were left to clean up the mess today.

The fire was burning brightly, and she sat on the thick rug, watching the midnight news.But in fact, it's not really good-looking, the voice is very low, and the mood of the performers can only be analyzed by the picture.

She was a little sleepy, but she still had the energy to squint her eyes and look at him secretly.From the corner of my eye, I could see him packing away all the things in the conservatory, then closing the door, taking off his coat, putting on slippers, and walking towards her.

Unsuspectingly held in his arms, he sees through all small thoughts.

"Today is Christmas Eve, is there any gift you want?"

"I haven't thought about it."

There is also an obsidian from him on her wrist - "receive the gift of God in times of difficulty", which has a very good meaning, and it is the best gift for her.

"I heard that you don't have a holiday for Christmas? Did Lu Jin and you go through the back door?"

"Yeah." He nodded frankly, "The big boss really wants to keep talents like me, so sometimes he gives me preferential treatment that others don't have."

She suppressed a smile: "What about Lu Jin? A family member?"

"Almost, you don't know, the Lu family owns shares in Changhong."

"Why do it?"

He raised his forehead: "I just want to spend the holiday with you."

They looked at each other quietly, and after a while they both laughed.

"I'm a very nostalgic person. Lu Zhao and Lu Jin have been my friends for many years. They are the same to Yan Ran or Su Ge." He suddenly changed the subject, and the back of his hand was a little red from the fire, "Atlanta ten What made me unable to extricate myself most in [-] was the departure of Su Ge and the retirement of his comrades-in-arms."

In fact, this time I went back to the headquarters because my mentor called him many times, and finally said that the same batch of pilots as him will officially retire this year.

That era, or those memories that belonged to him, will be stripped from the badge wall.Many years later, no one may remember that the big Sudanese boy named Su Ge died in a small lake on the border. Everyone thought he was named for the war, but there was always one person who stubbornly believed that Su Ge died to save him.After ten years of patrolling, every return to the capital is like licking blood with the tip of a knife.Therefore, before the comrades-in-arms officially retire, something has to be done.

Gu Zeng stretched out his hand to hug him back, and his arms were pillowed in his arms, feeling a little numb.She adjusted her movements very carefully, but he noticed that she made do with it until the two of them were lying in front of the fireplace, hugging in a very safe position, talking about their hearts.

"It's just that after leaving, many emotions have lost the incentive to be hoarse. Now in Beijing, especially after meeting you, I feel very good and very warm."

"I feel the same way. We are very relieved to go back to Paris this time, and we don't have to work hard to get along and hurt each other."

Cen today's fingers lightly drew circles on her back, lowered his eyes slightly, looking at her shadow under the moonlight: "Are your emotions usually affected by the people around you?"

"Ok?"

"What happened to Xu Shen last time, and today, or many times, made me feel your emotions. Because of the sadness of your good friends, or out of concern for them, you were obviously depressed, and became silent and cautious. "

Gu Zeng quickly digested his words, and his brain was a little hot: "I have always been like this, since I was a child." I especially care about other people's emotions, cater to their moods, and do this to everyone around me, to good friends and relatives will be more obvious.

When she and Lu were neighbors all the year round, they would buy delicious food after school every day to please him.He always loses his temper, and she teases him in different ways. Only when he is amused, will she be happy.Later, when Lu went to Paris all the time, she was alone all the time.When getting along with classmates or friends, she is very quiet, or has no sense of presence.Most of the time, they won't express their opinions, even if they don't want to or agree with them, they will automatically persuade themselves to cater to them.

Later, the psychiatrist explained to her that she has a little social barrier.

"I don't have many friends. I was well protected by my parents when I was young. I didn't like to talk and no one blamed me. It's not that I like quietness. I just worry that I will say the wrong thing and get nervous easily. After meeting Xu Shen and Qingya in college, The mood has been relaxed a lot.”

At first they regarded her as a monster, skipped classes all day, and smelled the smell of alcohol as soon as they returned to the dormitory. Many times when they got up to go to the bathroom at night, they were thrown by the wine bottles on the ground.Fortunately, it was them, none of them isolated her or gave up on her.

"I was so miserable at that time. I drank day and night, and cried at night, complaining of stomach pain. The two of them scolded me and sent me to the hospital. When I was on an IV, they took turns guarding me. Throughout the year, Xu Shen's grades were terribly poor." This enmity is simply Xu Shen's dark history, and it is still often brought up to this day.

"You've been sick for so long, doesn't your family know about it?" He turned to look at her with dark eyes.

Gu Zeng took a slight breath and said slowly: "My parents live in Tianjin and are very busy with work. They all think that I am doing well." Moreover, she is not good at talking about her feelings for Lu Zhongnian with her parents. , let alone talk about his illness with them, all the expenses from the beginning to the end were taken by Xu Shen.Therefore, she saved money for a long time and slowly paid off Xu Shen's debt.

"Xu Shen still calculates interest with me, you know? It's so stingy..."

"Do you ever get angry yourself?"

"Yes." She looked at the chandelier on the ceiling, the dim orange light was flickering, "Every time Qingya goes on a date, she takes out all the clothes from the closet and puts them on the bed, and chooses them one by one. They even asked me to be a staff officer. After making such a decision, the whole afternoon was wasted, unable to do anything, and sometimes I was really helpless and a little emotional."

"What do you do when you feel emotional?"

"What to do?" It seemed that there was nothing to do, but to help Qingya choose a particularly important date, and she even dedicated herself to being a model.

She silently explained to herself: "I seldom have a temper, and my temper has been polished over the years. Xu Shen also said that I am too straightforward and my emotions are too single."

"It's not a good habit." He put his hand around his chest, held her fingertips, and rubbed them lightly, "Among people with social disabilities, most of them will eventually be influenced by this society and develop autism, etc. Similar symptoms. Although there is nothing wrong with it, it is a product of society, but Gu Zeng, if I never want to come out, I will be sad."

For a moment, she hardly dared to look him in the eye.It seems to have been seen through, all, completely, including her timidity, the autism derived from the social disorder he mentioned just now, and similar symptoms.

She bit her lower lip tightly and said nothing.The action would be more direct, she raised her head, closed her eyes, and kissed his cheek.

Cen laughed today: "Please me? Gu Zeng, don't be so nervous about me, don't worry about having any emotions towards me."

There was still a bottle of wine on the small recliner beside the fireplace, which Qingya opened in the afternoon, and she hadn't finished drinking it yet.He took it over, bit off the cork, and took a slow sip.He asked her again, "Are you thirsty?"

She stared at the letters on the bottle and asked in a low voice, "Drink this to quench your thirst?"

"Why not?" He smiled and held the bottle to her mouth.

Holding the end of the bottle, Gu Zeng took a small sip tremblingly, and quickly got used to it, looking at him: "It's delicious, it quenches your thirst."

"Gu Zeng, do you want to get drunk?"

"is it okay?"

He turned over and lay beside her with his chin propped on one hand, the fire light reflected between his brows, or the light of stars, it was beautiful anyway.

She was suddenly and thoroughly seduced.Holding the bottle and taking another big sip, she heard his very low voice, whispering in her ear: "Gu Zeng, this is not alcoholism, it's a man who likes you and wants to get you drunk, so don't be afraid." Trembling for a while, I tried to close my eyes and took another big gulp.

She knew that he wanted her to accept this life calmly, whether it was the bad past or the unknown future.He is giving her courage in his own way.

In the end, she seemed to be really drunk. When she was carried upstairs by him, her consciousness was very heavy, and she felt like she was dangling in the cradle.I just wanted to hold him and wouldn't let go.

Many years later, I can still think of this night, when I was deliberately tempted by him to drink a lot of alcohol. After three years of recovery from grief, I suddenly felt that I had really stepped out of the shadow of that disease.No need to be afraid, no need to hide emotions, no need to be careful... many, many, although they all become very light after waking up, and are even bound by habits.But it really touched his good intentions.

As long as there is only one person in this world who is willing to try his best to warm you, why are there so many people who are stuck in the mud and cannot extricate themselves?But it is precisely because of seeing his heart that he feels sad, and the inexplicable sadness comes from it.Many details were gradually magnified in the later cruel reality. Should he be arranging some things at such an early moment to prevent the so-called accident in the future?
How can it be so early?She couldn't help but wonder, did he have to think of his lines to lie to her before he started to say every sentence?
Unexpectedly, there would be a day when she cried and fell into Xu Shen's arms, screaming desperately, roaring with all the strength in her life, as if declaring war on the world.Ask Xu Shen, ask Lu Zhao, ask everyone, how could he do this?How can you lie to her...

When I woke up the next day, it was almost noon. As a result of the hangover, I was still in a trance when I sat up, and my mind went blank.It wasn't until she saw a familiar figure on the balcony that all the fragmented memories slowly flooded back.

Cen was fishing by the river today, Lu Zhao was sitting next to him, and Lu Jin was driving a small boat in the river.

The voice of the conversation was so low that even Lu Jin couldn't hear it.

"After the next year, or before that time, I plan to take a long vacation."

The fish took the bait, and he swung the rod to reel in the line.Lu Zhao then put away the fishing rod, feeling numb and didn't know what to say. After thinking for a long time, he asked, "Have you had a professional inspection? Do you want me to arrange it for you?"

"No need." He turned back and chuckled, and put the fish into the bucket beside him, "At least not now, I will find you when I need it."

Lu Jin also went ashore, holding some big crabs he just caught on the boat, and said, "It's also rare, there are wild crabs in this season." After seeing the fish in the bucket, he slapped his thigh and laughed. , "Okay, let's make a whole fish feast for lunch."

"Sounds good." He stood up, and when he looked back, he looked at the window on the second floor of the villa, and saw Gu Zeng without accident.

Gu Zeng also found it strange.People get along with each other for a long time, will there be a feeling?She was just about to leave, but she turned to look at him after thinking about it for a while, and then saw him turn around.

Lu Jin looked over and waved the big crab in his hand to greet her. She thought it was funny, so she washed up and ran downstairs.

Qingya and Xu Shen were basking in the sun in the small courtyard, saw her running out, pulled her and asked maliciously, "Did something go off last night?"

It was also rare for Xu Shen to help Qingya: "Seeing the captain this morning, I think he is really in good spirits. He really came out of a fighter plane. His physical fitness can't be better."

"What are you thinking?" She was so excited, how could she know such a bad friend?

"We know it even if you don't tell me." Qingya chased after her and touched her hand, scratching her non-stop, "Yesterday, Xu Shen and I did it on purpose, as a Christmas Eve gift for you. How about it? Do you like it? "

"Gift? You mean people?" She was about to cry, "How can I say I don't like such an imposing gift?"

"cannot!"

Well, she actually likes it.

In the afternoon, the weather began to turn cloudy again, with snowflakes slowly falling.Lu Jin and Qingya both had flight arrangements. Xu Shen and Lu Zhao were fine, but they didn't stay. When the four of them left, it was as if they had colluded and deliberately vacated the entire villa for them.No wonder Qingya kept winking at her while eating.

Cen has been sitting quietly by the small river fishing today, sitting in the snow for a long time.She kept watching in the conservatory, and finally took an umbrella and sat down with him.

"Don't you feel cold like this?"

"No." He looked at the river intently, and added, "When I was in the army, I usually had to experience a very harsh environment. I just started climbing in the snow-capped mountains with heavy loads. hint."

"What psychological hint?" The snow seemed to be getting bigger, and she moved closer to him. The umbrella was so big that it could block two people.

Cen looked at her today, with a very faint smile: "For example, it will be much warmer if you carry the wind on your back, and you will be able to go back to the dormitory and get under the quilt soon. At that time, you will miss the coffee made by Mike very much."

Oh, that native Atlanta classmate, the blue-eyed, pretty boy, with lots of girlfriends.

"Is there any fish coming out now?"

"It's unlikely if it's wild, but it's artificially raised here. Lu Jin thought those crabs at noon were wild." He squinted his eyes, and there were snowflakes floating from under the umbrella to his neck.He dodged and grabbed her hand, "The snow in winter can't be blocked by an umbrella."

The next moment, the handle of the umbrella was gone.He was fishing on the bench with her in his arms, and the whole mountain was snowing heavily, how romantic.However, considering her poor physical fitness, Cen quickly finished fishing today and walked back to the villa with her in his arms.

Almost fell asleep again while waiting for dinner in front of the fireplace.Propping her chin to warm herself by the fire, her eyelids kept fighting.The moment of waking up and falling asleep, I heard the sound of the shutter.Opening his eyes suddenly, he found that his ugly dozing appearance was recorded in his camera.

"I don't want this picture, how can I look good with my eyes closed? Can I take another picture?" After dinner, I kept asking him to delete it, but Cen thought it was very good, and explained, "It's just natural."

Well, it is indeed a very natural side.

After Christmas, everyone's holidays are over, and as the end of the year is approaching, the ground support department is extremely busy.Meetings are held daily, rosters are adjusted, and flight plans are recorded.

Whenever Qingya has free time, she complains to her that the big boss is unscrupulous and oppressing ordinary people.

Gu Zeng had a rare vacation and had to go to the TV station.This time it went smoothly, the director didn't keep her, and the contract renewal didn't come up again.When she came out, she called Xu Shen. She had made an appointment to have dinner together, but Xu Shen had something to do, so she had to go home alone.

At this time, Qingya is in Sanya, and Cen is on the plane today.

She suddenly felt flustered, ran to the kitchen to drink a glass of water, turned on the TV by the way, and switched channels at will.When Asu's call came, she was applying a facial mask, lying on the sofa with her legs crossed, the TV was a bit loud, so she didn't hear it.

After washing her face, she saw more than a dozen missed calls. She panicked all of a sudden, and hurriedly dialed it, but it reminded her that the line was busy.For a moment, she realized something, bit her lower lip tightly, and dialed it again, but the result was still the same.Without any further hesitation, she quickly put on her coat and ran downstairs to the airport.

On the way, I kept urging the taxi driver. The old driver had bad eyesight at night and drove very slowly. He kept saying to her: "Driving at night is very dangerous, little girl, don't go fast."

Soon Asu called again, his voice hoarse.She already clearly felt that something serious happened, and could hear a lot of voices on the other end of the phone, crying, noisy, running... It was a mess.

She tried her best to breathe calmly, and asked calmly, "Asu, what happened, tell me."

Asu kept crying, her voice was indistinct, and she could only piece together broken words, and finally got the result: Cen is missing today.

"No, how is this possible?" She forced a smile, "He even called me before boarding the plane, saying that he would arrive in Beijing in three days. We even made an appointment to have dinner together, how could he disappear."

She took a deep breath and raised her head: "Asu, don't make such jokes with me."

Obviously we have an appointment, we will meet soon, right?Will not……

Asu sobbed and repeated each word with certainty: "Gu Zeng, Cen Ji disappeared, this is a fact."

With a "buzz", his head exploded, and the phone slipped from his hand and fell on the back seat.Her eyes were reddened instinctively, and tears kept pouring down, but she could only hold back desperately, forcibly holding back.While wiping her tears, she grabbed the phone again to make her voice not sound so bad, and asked calmly, "Asu, tell me the whole process."

"Just now the big boss notified in the internal line that Cen Ji suddenly deviated from the established route, and then the radar showed that the communication was interrupted. In the past half an hour, it was still in an interrupted state. They said that it might be the reason of the weather, and the person who lost contact There happened to be lightning and thunder in the place, so there was a problem with the communication, and it should only be lost for a short time. Gu Zeng, Gu Zeng...don't worry."

Gu Zeng quickly made a judgment, and murmured: "Yes, maybe it's just that the communication equipment was damaged by the thunderstorm cloud, or I was trapped in the cloud and didn't come out for a while." She could only comfort herself like this, and tried her best to calm down. Aso's mood.

"Where's the co-pilot? Who's the co-pilot?"

"There is no co-pilot."

"What did you say?"

Asu cried again: "There is no co-pilot, Gu Zeng, only Cen Ji, only him."

"How is it possible?" She couldn't help it.

"Gu Zeng, it's not a commercial flight. All the routes of Cen Ji were canceled two days ago. This time it's his flight plan at the Air Force Department in Atlanta. The specific reason is unknown, but it's definitely a helicopter pilot. All the information is from Atlanta. It was sent directly from there."

She held her face, her voice was almost stuck in her throat: "Where is the destination of the route he originally planned?"

"Khartoum." A capital city of Sudan in North Africa, home of Suge.

Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Gu Zeng was still comforting Asu: "It's okay, nothing will happen, a similar situation happened two years ago, the weather suddenly became bad before landing, and the whole plane was circling in the sky For more than 40 minutes. Asu, believe me, will be fine, he may just be temporarily trapped."

"Okay, okay, Gu Zeng, come quickly."

She put down the phone, and collapsed on the back seat as if she had collapsed. Tears and sweat were all over her face, mixed with her hair, covering most of her face.

The old driver looked at the late-night passenger from the rearview mirror, heard her conversation, and asked speculatively, "Did something happen to the plane?"

"No!" She said sharply, "It will be fine, he is so skilled, how could it be possible?"

The old driver probably didn't expect that such a thin little girl was quite scary when she looked fierce. She didn't speak any more, but focused on watching the street speed up.

After a long time, Gu Zeng realized that he was out of control, and suddenly burst into tears, and kept apologizing to the old driver: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

The old driver was going crazy. He had never seen such a girl who cried so heartbreakingly, and the apology was the same. He could only comfort Gu Zeng in turn: "It's okay, it's okay. Auspicious people have their own signs, and they will be fine." Yes. I can understand that you are in a bad mood, so there is no need to apologize..."

She kept talking and crying, until her voice became hoarse, and she stared blankly, not knowing where to look.In the past, I felt that there was some inexplicable feeling between me and him, and I was able to see each other all at once in a sea of ​​people.She can also turn around in an instant after turning her head, and crash into the warmth he gave her.But now it is cruel to feel strong anxiety.

Recalling that time in the villa, he steamed fish for her at night, picked out the bone spurs for her very intimately, and when the face was illuminated by the fire in front of the fireplace, he said to her: "I want to consume all the holidays at once. .” At that time, I felt that he was joking, and the smile on the eyebrows, including the posture, seemed to be a joke when he was indulged.Thinking about it now, I feel shocking all over my body and mind.

So that when she continued to ask his topic, his answer was so puzzling.He said: "Some things I want to do, I may not be able to wait any longer. So now, I really want to be with you all the time."

However, she really felt that he was using his usual method of molesting her, making her blush and shy, and dare not look at him again.He always enjoys the process of her gradually blushing, and has joked with her more than once. She really thinks that the relationship is just right and it is not suitable for a long separation.

On that kind of night, even though it was snowing outside, the house was as warm as spring, there was no unnecessary disturbance, only him and her, only each other.The firelight illuminated the figures on the wall and overlapped each other. She thought it would be a good night.

But I didn't expect that when he said those words, they were all true.

(End of this chapter)