Hunter and Hussar

Chapter 67 Ice Cubes and Lollipops
The late test was 15 minutes late.Fortunately, I am usually quite obedient. In the eyes of the old class, my lateness must be "there is a reason for it".Without saying a word, he handed the paper directly to me who was afraid to come in at the door, waved his hand, and turned back to the podium gracefully.

I seem to have become a "privileged" child.The teacher didn't scold me very much, probably because I seldom make mistakes. They think I am a trustworthy child, a child who can tell right from wrong without saying much.However, if I make too many mistakes, or too big mistakes, they will no longer trust me, and I will not have this "privilege".

The teachers gave me "privileges" because of their trust, but what are other "privileges"?Maybe it's caring, maybe it's "worries", in short, their existence shows one thing: I am no longer what I used to be.If it were any other child, maybe it would be too late for envy.If I have no conscience, I can enjoy this convenience with peace of mind, and even make more excessive demands. As long as I ask, both relatives and friends will do their best to satisfy me.But I know that behind the "privilege" is the unbearable weight of life.It's not fair that I enjoy the love of others while getting away with it.

But what can I do to make up for it?I can only punish myself.Always remember the mistakes you made and never repeat them.Other than that, it's best to do nothing.

The hot wind blows through the long corridor and through the gaps in the railings, as if a person has been sighing for a long time.In the still night, I wandered aimlessly, like a ghost with amnesia.What I was waiting for was Mi Le - the evening self-study on the weekend was over long ago, their class was still brightly lit, and the English teacher left the whole class to write silently.

Maybe a jump from here would end it all.I thought about it when I walked to the end of the corridor of the teaching building, and the toes of my shoes sneaked out of the railing on the lowest floor, and I whistled in ecstasy.impossible.Suicide is cowardly.I can no longer punish others with my mistakes.

"We meet again."

I really doubted that my whistle had triggered some mechanism. In the teaching building where people were almost walking, Meimei suddenly appeared behind me, scaring me half to death as usual.

"Can you call my name before you say hello?" It's not good to lose your temper at her, and it's not good to show a look of shock in front of her, that's all I can say.She had a lollipop in her mouth, and she handed me one, but she didn't take it.

"Everyone has gone home, why don't you go back? Are you waiting for someone, or have you lost something? It seems to be the same. I can help you find it, or wait with you." The light voice is wrapped in a lollipop Seeing that I didn't answer, Meimei continued, "You seem to be very busy, are you in a daze? It's still the same. You listen to others with concentration, but at the same time you are absent-minded."

"I lost a piece of ice." I don't know why I said such inexplicable words, maybe I was too bored and wanted to talk to people too much.

"It's summer now. You can't find it."

"Yes. I can't find it."

"If only you lost it in winter."

"Winter is not good either, there's ice everywhere and I can't find my piece."

"Oh, winter is not good either. When is the best time to lose it?"

"When I am the only one in the world who has ice."

"That's not necessarily good. You'll be sadder when you lose something unique."

"correct."

"You lost yesterday."

"We didn't lose, we were just eliminated."

"Is there any difference?"

"No difference. But the game was a draw."

"You are unhappy."

"I am not happy."

"Unfortunately, I heard that you played very well. It was just a little bit. But no one is happy when they lose, right?"

"Yes, but we didn't lose."

She took a bite of the sugar cube and crunched it.

"Why don't you eat candy?"

"do not like to eat."

"why?"

"It is too sweet."

"Sugar is sweet, it can't be bitter."

"Yes, sugar is sweet. I don't like sweets."

"You like hard work?"

"do not like."

"You're weird."

"I feel so too."

"Always looking listless."

"Anything to look forward to?"

"You have something on your mind. It's very, very serious."

"It has nothing to do with you."

"It has nothing to do with me."

"Correct."

"You're a little lonely."

"I'm a little lonely."

"Do you like looking in the mirror?"

"Why do I like looking in the mirror?"

"When you are alone, you look in the mirror."

"Oh."

"It's still lonely after the photo shoot."

"Yes."

"What do you want to do in the future?"

"do not know."

"I think you are suitable for driving a taxi."

"I'm good at driving a taxi."

"You meet strangers, and you can tell them what's on your mind."

"Will they listen?"

"No. Most people don't. They'll just tell you to drive faster, and then faster. Watch your direction. Turn the corner quickly. Otherwise, you won't arrive tomorrow."

"How did you know?"

"Chekhov told me."

"Do you all like Chekhov?"

"I like."

"Oh. Chekhov is a good writer."

"Yes. Chekhov is a good writer."

"I'm a bit cold."

"It's already May. You're a bit cold."

"Do cats in school get cold? It's late at night."

"'The cat will take care of itself' is like the dove will fly away. If you ask the goat, I don't know."[1]
"Oh, I don't have to worry about them."

"Yeah, you don't have to worry about them."

"Meme."

"I'm here."

"Does a person have a soul after death?"

"You are looking at Lu Xun."

"No."

"I thought of it myself?"

"I thought of it myself."

"This is not a question that can be answered casually."

"So, you don't want to answer."

"No, you asked, I have to answer, but I can't answer indiscriminately."

"You can't answer. You haven't died."

"Yes, I didn't die. You didn't die either."

"I didn't die either."

"Nobody can tell. It's true."

"Oh."

"Can you give me some time to think about it? I'll think about it and answer you."

"Meme."

"what happened?"

"My brother is dead."

"what."

I seemed to see Meimei's white breath a few months ago again.Winter is over and summer is here, but I still feel cold.Maybe she knows.She didn't say anything else, she chewed up the lollipop and swallowed it, and walked behind me silently.

"I'm sorry. This has nothing to do with you. It ruined your mood."

"It's about me now."

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to tell anyone about it. Just couldn't help it."

"No. Say it. Say whatever you want. I'm here."

"My younger brother has been dead for two and a half years, almost three years. In order to help me with a boring thing, he was hit by a bottle thrown from upstairs on the road. It's strange, people will be killed by a bottle. "

"'Alas! God's will is elusive.'"[2]
"Do you believe in God?"

"Do not believe."

"Then why do you say that?"

"I don't know either. Probably because I don't believe in God."

"There is no God. Even if there is, it is not God who made him die, but me."

"why?"

"He died on the way to help me do my shopping. I didn't ask him to go, so he wouldn't have died."

"Probably so."

"He's great. I'm nothing like him. Everyone loves him. But he's dead."

"Ah."

"Damn me."

"No one deserves a damn."

"But we're all going to die."

"Yes."

"My family and friends lied to me for two years that he died of a heart attack."

"Why did you lie to you?"

"Probably to protect me and make me feel less uncomfortable. Not necessarily, it may be because I am afraid that I will retaliate. When I was young, I fought for my younger brother, and I would die when I fought."

"Are you going to find the person who lost things?"

"I don't know. Maybe. But he's been in prison for three years and he's not out yet."

"Want revenge?"

"My brother won't come back."

"They shouldn't have lied to you."

"No. I just found out today that I was lied to. I realized it before, but I didn't dare to confirm it. I like lies. It's just that it can't lie to me anymore."

"so."

"I can't dream of him."

"You can't dream of your brother?"

"I can't dream, I can't dream once."

"Not even once. Do you want to dream about him?"

"I should have thought about it. But I'm afraid. I'm afraid to see him."

"You are afraid to see him."

"You dare not look him in the eye. He must hate me."

"possible."

"My whole life is over."

"You are still young. A lifetime is still long."

"Every day is the same. A lifetime is just one day. I'm done."

"Don't say that. I don't like it."

"But I can't help it."

"You can do it. You're already doing it."

I turned around and looked at her suspiciously.In the darkness, I couldn't see her expression clearly.She probably couldn't see me either.

"You didn't run away this time." She took my hand lightly, and patted the lollipop that was going to be given to me firmly in my palm, "If you say it, you are facing the past. Whether it is happiness or pain, you are facing it.”

"It's no use. My brother is dead."

"you are still alive."

"Just thinking about it makes me even sadder."

"At least you don't run away anymore. Whether it's self-blame or regret, you carry them on your back. Walk up and don't let them overwhelm you. You throw a piece of ice, it melts, it becomes water, it becomes Qi, you can’t find it, it’s just that you can’t see it. It’s still there, and it’s impossible to leave no traces. Don’t use your eyes, but use your heart to find it, and you can still feel it. You take the water Gather up and freeze into ice again, it won't be the same ice that it used to be, each of us knows that, but you're already looking for it. Maybe you won't find the ice, but maybe you can find yourself."

"What's the use?"

"Whether it is useful or not depends on no one but you. Just like this piece of candy in your hand, it is already yours. Whether to eat it or not, how to eat it, and when to eat it are all up to you. You You won't give me the sugar back, will you?"

Nodding, shaking his head hastily.Anyway, I put the candy in my pocket.

"Go home. Goodbye."

"Well. See you next time."

The wind blew through the corridor, and she disappeared at the dark end.

"What are you doing here!"

A familiar voice rang out with some pretentious majesty.

"Hands up, you're under my arrest!"

I obeyed obediently.

"Come with me!"

On the way back to the dormitory escorted by Mi Le, I wanted to explain several times that I didn't even know the girl's name.But he didn't give me any chance to explain until the two of us entered the room.In the dormitory, everyone is busy with their own business, as usual.I was pushed to the balcony by Mi Le.

"Do you know what you did?"

This posture is more majestic than when I interrogated Pu Yun and Zhao Rui today.

"I was wrong."

"What's wrong?"

"I didn't tell you..."

"It's good to know! Don't do this next time. It scared me to death." He stood on tiptoe and scratched my nose, "Didn't it be agreed that the two of us should be together to investigate that matter? Why don't you Did you leave without making a sound?"

I smiled helplessly.In all likelihood, Zhao Rui told him, or maybe Zhao Rui told his sister, and her sister told him.

"You still have the face to smile! I'm going to punish you!" Mi Le jumped up and hit me on the head.

"Obviously you didn't let me contact you."

"What does it have to do with Mingming? No sophistry is allowed! Now is the trial!" He changed the subject unreasonably, and hammered his palm with his fist, "I sentence you to cede half of the bed to me as compensation!"

"How to cut, and there is no saw."

Of course, it is impossible to cut half of my bed board and put it on Mi Le's upper bunk.If we do this, the life teacher will throw us out to sleep on the street.Mi Le is nothing more than asking me to sleep with him tonight, although it seems to him that he may be sleeping with me.However, the two of us only huddled together when our roommates weren't around.I can imagine their expressions when they saw Mi Le lying on my bed after the lights were turned off.Fortunately, Taotao talked about yesterday's game during the night chat. The other two roommates probably thought that we were eliminated and were still sad, so they wanted to be with each other.

"Ke Ke." When everyone fell asleep, Mi Le whispered into my ear.

"what's wrong?"

"If that person is released from prison, if you want to find him, you must call me. Otherwise, I will never play with you. Do what you say."

"Understood. But, why did you tie our feet together? You have to untie them early tomorrow, or they will see something very bad."

"I'm afraid you are sleepwalking."

"Where have I ever sleepwalked?"

"Go to sleep."

"Are you afraid that I will jump off the building?"

"go to bed!"

"I won't jump off the building."

"I told you, sleep. Are you bored?"

"We are like this now, if I jump off the building, aren't you afraid that I will take you with me?"

"you dare!"

Really dare not.I read a news before, maybe in Chongqing, a man jumped off a building and hit two passing girls.All three died.Murder is the gravest crime, whether it is killing another person or oneself.

"Ke Ke."

"Ok?"

"Why didn't you speak?"

"Didn't you say sleep?"

"Oh. That's right. I thought last night, I'm going to practice my shooting, and I'll practice free kicks."

"I'll practice with you."

"I'm stronger than Pu Yun."

"You must be better than him."

"We can win next year."

"Mile."

"how?"

"I've got a lollipop in my coat pocket. I'll dig it out in the morning and we'll share it, okay?"

"not good."

"why?"

"You have to brush your teeth before eating candy. We brush our teeth before eating."

"Okay."

The next morning, I rummaged through my clothes and pants, but couldn't find the lollipop. I was so anxious that I almost threw things away again.Mi Le hugged me and told me that he would go to the school gate at noon to help me buy it again.The result is that I want him to swear and swear not to go alone.After noon, the two of us left the school gate together.He walked ahead, and I put my hands on his shoulders and followed closely, keeping my eyes on the sky.After all, there are several floors above the snack shop.Then I stepped into a pothole in the sidewalk and both of us fell.Mi Le was angry and laughed, and while scolding me for not having eyes, he patted the ashes for me.But anyway, the lollipops we got were really sweet and I didn't really hate it.It would be even better if I could find the previous one again.

[1] Hemingway, The Old Man at the Bridge.

[2] García Márquez, "Tuesday Nap Time."

　The new concept announced the list of winners~ In fact, after being shortlisted for the semi-finals, I knew that I would definitely win the first prize???? The result was not as expected~ Wait for the trophy!

　　I hope the game here will also have a good result!

　　In other words, I think my short stories and long stories are not in the same style at all. The long stories are more emotional, but the short stories are much colder hhhhh
　　
　
(End of this chapter)