Hunter and Hussar

Chapter 65 The Truth
I frightened Pu Yun.Later he told me that the moment he opened the door, he thought I was coming to break up the relationship.I must have put on a very ugly face in which fear and exasperation accompanies: the dread of the truth approaching makes it all the more obvious that I have been deceived and deceived, and therefore I am very angry, and I use this to my friend. Unscrupulous anger to cover up his inner fear and anxiety.

Although he knew that the visitor was not good, he still let me and Ahua into the house.His parents were there, seeing them, his ugly face softened a little.We both politely called our uncle and aunt well.Their house is very tall, on the 22nd floor, there is a big window, the whole white light comes in, and the living room is clean and bright, like the waiting room and the top floor of the library, or something close to the clouds The place.Pu Yun's mother said that I haven't been to their house for several years.I'm a little confused, I seem to have never been to Pu Yun's house, but Xianxian has been there a few times.She may have regarded me as a string.But they must have known that Xianxian was gone.I can't figure it out.Maybe she mistook Xianxian for coming back.It would be great if I could come to Pu Yun's house to play instead of him, even if I only stay here for a while.

I didn't come to play that day.After entering Pu Yun's room, he pulled me to sit on his bed.His bedroom was not much larger than mine, and it was equally well organized.He should have tidied it up by himself. As for mine, it was sorted by strings before, and then it was my mother who silently took care of the empty one.After sitting down, I quickly remembered the purpose of my coming.I said that.After he heard this, he looked at Shi Zhenhua. I can't describe the look in his eyes, either disappointment or anger, but more of helpless sadness.Ah Hua responded with a helpless sigh.I controlled myself and didn't yell so much that his parents could hear, but I showed a decisive attitude: now, immediately, immediately, you tell me the truth about Xianxian's departure.I know the truth exists, and I know that you know the ins and outs of the matter, and you must tell me.

It's so strange that I knew I was being lied to, but I never pressed my friend so firmly until today.Probably because I realized that they would let go, and at the same time, I knew that it would be difficult for me to have a second chance to approach the truth.By chance, I touch it, and I must hold on to it with all my strength, or I will forget it in the endless life.In that instant, I knew I could no longer just sit back and watch.

Pu Yun was made to cry by me.He didn't make a sound, just wiped away his tears. He finished drawing out the toilet paper in the room, and didn't dare to go out to get it, so he had to wipe it with his sleeve indiscriminately.Once again, I had no dignity in my friend, and in the same way, this bad behavior made me lose my self-esteem and become an animal led by emotions.Maybe I'm the only one in this world who can make Pu Yun feel so uncomfortable, I have to squeeze out everything he knows intermittently while wiping his face.

Pu Yun didn't talk about it for too long, as he said in the interview, his understanding is very limited.Iowa is less.In short, Xianxian didn't die from a heart attack that I already knew was a lie, but an accident related to falling objects.Pu Yun told me that Zhao Rui witnessed the whole process, but he swore that he would never tell anyone the details in his life.In addition, my sister had an agreement with the three of them—unifying the caliber and telling me that Xianxian died of a heart attack rather than an accident.

I listened patiently to what he said, my head was smoking, and I was shivering all over my body.It was already May, and I felt like I had fallen into a hole in the ice that was both pale and dark, and was being burned by fire.I ignored Pu Yun and A Hua's reddened eyes, and took out my mobile phone to dial Zhao Rui's number.He didn't answer and told me on WeChat that he was making up lessons.I asked him where the make-up get out of class was and when it was over.Another hour.I told them I was going to block him at the door, and after I finished speaking, I turned around and went out. I should have said goodbye to Pu Yun's parents very politely and calmly, as if nothing had happened, but that indifferent wooden face Maybe I can't fool anyone, not to mention my two friends caught up with me without even wiping their faces.Today is truly the ugliest day of my life.No, it's not.The day I forced Xianxian to buy me gloves was much more hideous than today, and the consequences of it have long since been washed away.

"Brother, when Brother Rui comes out later, can you not be angry with him?"

Zhao Rui is making up lessons in an old community with no guards.The unit building looks like it was built in the 90s and 1s. The walls are peeling off here and there, and the buildings are patched with potholes.The weeds on both sides of the road were untended and grew uncontrollably, climbing up the rusted and abandoned sports equipment, as if trying to cover them forever.The two yellow dogs barked wildly, chasing and fleeing, and finally one caught up with the other with its convulsive tongue, and stopped at the gate of the community in a strange posture.We found a stone bench not yet covered with black and white bird droppings, and sat down silently. Behind us was a dim publicity signboard with famous quotes written on it—“Don’t do good because it’s small, don’t start evil because it’s small.” For this", the inscription is Zhuge Liang. [[-]]
I didn't answer Pu Yun.

"Brother, I know it's not good to lie. No one wants to lie to you, and no one wants to hurt you." Pu Yun gently pulled my cuff, his two small eyes blinked under his natural curly hair, as if praying, "If you want to hit someone, just hit me. Don't hit Brother Rui."

"Why should I hit someone?"

I never liked fighting.I admit that I hated Zhao Rui, especially during those two years.But after staying in the same team with him for more than half a year, I don't seem to hate him so much.Today, I just want to dig out the truth of the past from him. This strong desire and impulse really has a sense of violence. It is inevitable that Pu Yun will mistakenly think that I am angry and ready to beat him severely.But I can't do it.If I really want to hit someone, the one I want to hit is myself.But I can't hit myself casually, someone will be sad.

What can I do?
"I'll just say it. Peve said it a long time ago, and he will never hit anyone again."

"Ah?" I was a little surprised, "Are you talking about the self-criticism?"

At that time, I seemed to write "Don't dare to do it again next time", and I didn't say whether to beat someone or not.

"Yes. You've written 800 words. I feel like I've squeezed myself out and I can't write it. You've really finished it." Maybe it was to ease the atmosphere, Ahua touched my shoulder.

"It's not fair at all." Pu Yun pursed his mouth, "I remember that time. I was really guilty, and I should have sex with my elder brother. But at that time, I was completely dumbfounded..."

"You said just now that you didn't want Peve to beat someone up, so why do you say you want to do it now?" A Hua pretended to smile relaxedly, but his face was still tense.

"It's different!" Pu Yun yelled, "Brother Rui is one of his own! And he has no bad intentions. What is that bastard who shovels people? Didn't he come here for useless people? Brother Xian didn't let him shovel bones." Alright!"

What the hell are they talking about?
"Why do you ask my elder brother to write a self-criticism! Is there any reason to fire him!"

"The coach is here to protect us. He doesn't want to fire Pei Wei, but he has to give someone an explanation. The old man told Pei Xian directly that he didn't blame Pei Wei for this matter, but to avoid the limelight for the time being. So Pei Xian didn't They are clamoring to leave the team."

"You..." I looked at them dull and dull, like an old man who couldn't remember the names of his relatives due to the passage of time, "What are you talking about? Fire me? Review? Xianxian quit the team?"

I can't remember anything.

After being surprised, the two of them sat closer to me and helped me recall an incident two years ago.In fact, I have not completely forgotten it, but I only remember the fragmented shadow.But... are they telling the truth?Once people can't remember things clearly, they are easy to be manipulated by others.Others tell you that your past was like this, so they can continue to tell you what to do now and what to do in the future, and you can only do it obediently.

Nothing is more terrifying than amnesia.Good thing they're my friends, always have been.I had to trust them, and only them.

Two and a half years ago, I was not yet 11 years old.It was a game in early September, and no one would have thought that two months later, the 11-year-old Xianxian would never be able to appear on the green field again.Perhaps, the person who flew over with the shovel that day could have saved Xianxian.If he really hurt Xianxian with a shovel, my younger brother would not be in an accident, and he can still sleep on top of my head now.

Xian Xian jumped up to avoid the murderous tackle, but to me at the other end of the goal, he was tackled and flew into the air.The moment the referee blew the whistle, Xianxian got up again without any injuries.And I rushed to his side, in rage, the whole world was spinning, I can hardly remember what I did, but it was by no means just pushing the fouled player.According to them, one of my gloves involuntarily grabbed him by the neck, followed by punches and kicks.Out of control, I am like a hungry and crazy wolf, without any reason except to tear apart the sworn enemy.The people on both sides couldn't separate the two of us, and in the end, Xianxian hugged my waist and cried, saying that he was not hurt at all, so I let go.The referee gave me the red card first.I can't remember.

Later, because of "bad influence", the tournament organizing committee suspended me indefinitely, and suggested to the school team coach to expel me through the school leaders.Most of the school team members stood up and said that once the school team expels me, they will leave the team immediately.The final result was that I wrote an 800-word self-criticism, promising that I would never hit someone again, and read it in front of all the teachers and teammates. Then I sat in the stands outside the bench and waited for the ban to be lifted.I waited alone for two months, watching weeds grow in the cracks in the stands, like waiting for a distant letter, but there was no sign that I would be able to stand on the court again.A Hua said that the organizing committee lifted my suspension in the third month. At that time, Xianxian was gone, and I had no intention of playing football at all.

I don't know if this is true.It should be, I know myself.The smaller a person is, the closer he is to animals.It's not really a surprise to do such a thing.This kind of violence and ferocity may be engraved in the depths of my soul.It is only in very few cases that I will vent my darkness through violence, and more often I use the meanness and coldness of the language.I am one of those cowardly and cruel animals.

Brother, you did nothing wrong.Pu Yun shook my arm, as if trying to pull me back to the almost deserted old community from my empty memory.It was that time that I admired you even more. You did what I wanted to do but dared not do.He said.Before, I thought you were as courageous as me, but later I found out that Brother Xian respected you so much for no reason.

Peve has always been brave, and is becoming more and more like a big brother.Pei Xian will be very happy to know.Ah Hua is also talking.We all grew up and became stronger.

really?
"Yeah, why are you three here?"

Zhao Rui, who was carrying a schoolbag, appeared in front of us. Surprised, his eyes showed nervousness that he had a premonition of something.

"Go ahead."

I once again showed the expression I had when I was extracting a confession.A bad detective who never investigates and just waits for clues to pop up by themselves.When it appeared, I pursued it desperately and with all my blood.

"What?" He subconsciously took two steps back, probably aware of what I asked.

"Brother Rui, just tell the elder brother. We can't hide it from him forever." Pu Yun got up and put his hands on his shoulders, "Actually, I knew there would be such a day. We can't keep lying to people."

Zhao Rui stretched out his trembling hand to his cheek, as if he was trying to control his expression.He took a few deep breaths with difficulty, as if swallowing something.

"You are so cruel."

"Aren't you cruel if you keep hiding it from me?" I yelled, "Coax and lie to me like a little fool, tell me what to do, and say it's all for my own good, why? I My younger brother is gone, and you still lie to me! Zhao Rui, you are a dog, my sister's dog!"

All the grievances against him in the past two years came up, I had to gasp for breath, and Ah Hua kept patting me on the back.

"What do you know? Have you seen what Pei Xian was like at the time? You have never seen it! You...you have no conscience at all, why teach me?" Obviously stimulated by my words, Zhao Rui's His voice has also increased several times, and he has never seen him argue with someone so anxiously and strenuously.He doesn't know how to quarrel at all, and he can't even utter dirty words. He hesitated for a long time, which is just a sentence of "heartless".It was probably the most offensive word he could come up with.

We yelled at each other red-faced, like two roosters. Apart from scaring the two dogs and crawling out of the community, we only made ourselves cry and get hoarse from exhaustion.Fortunately, no one passed by in the afternoon.A Hua and Pu Yun helped each other up, handing over napkins and beating their backs, not caring about their own tears falling down their pants.This kind of quarrel is too hurtful, but I wanted to quarrel with Zhao Rui at that time, and no one could stop it.

"I'm sorry, I was too excited." He apologized to me first, and after wiping away his tears, Zhao Rui calmed down a lot, "Since you know, I must tell you. But don't blame your sister, Okay? She just wants to protect you. I also understand that lies will always be exposed, but this lie is really good. I know you don't like me, but don't hate your sister."

"Brother definitely won't. He has come to ask you, he must be prepared and able to face all of this." Pu Yun leaned on my shoulder, and asked with some encouragement and some tentativeness, "Right? We're not kids anymore."

Really?I'm afraid not.Before Ah Hua appeared at my door, I didn't make any preparations at all.I was pushed here by the truth that came to me.The past found me, and I had to follow it.

I still nodded.I really don't hate my sister, and I don't hate them either.I just want to know the truth.

"I can only give a rough idea. Don't push me, okay? I promise I'm telling the truth in everything I say, but I don't want to recall the details. I'm sorry. After that incident, I had nightmares for a whole month , can’t forget anything at all. He fell in front of me, if I walked in front that day, I would be the one who died.”

He buried his head in his lap and cried uncontrollably again.A Hua and Pu Yun had no choice but to comfort him again.I sat there blankly, witnessing this scene, and a kind of inexplicable absurdity arose spontaneously.What am I doing?what should I do?Do you want to appease Zhao Rui like your friends?What next?When he gets better, good enough to say what I want to know?I'm making him do things he doesn't want to do.Should I stop and tell him, don't force it so much, I can't make you tell the past that you don't want to remember for my own sake.

For him, speaking out about these things is tantamount to uncovering long-lost scars.I'm tearing at his wounds that have healed.

And where is my wound?I often feel bad about myself, but I can't find them.

After all, nothing was done.He is right.I'm so cruel.

He started talking.That late autumn afternoon, I, who was suspended from the game, couldn't come to the sidelines to watch the game that ended 1:1 because of a fever.After the game, he and Xianxian went to eat something as usual, and were about to go home, but received that sinful call.I cried and made noise on the other end of the phone, tangling the strings, and asked him to buy me a new pair of gloves.It was no big deal, and the two of them walked down the sidewalk towards the mall a kilometer away.There are old houses along the way, seven or eight stories high.Nothing foreshadowed that an accident would happen that day.However, on a road with few pedestrians, a black shadow descended from the sky, and the string made a weird sound, so weird that it didn't seem like a child could make it, and then fell to the ground dully, surrounded by broken green Beer bottle scum.Zhao Rui panicked and didn't know whether to call 110 or 120 first.He hit it all.After I was sent to the hospital, he remembered to call my parents.He also called his parents, who carried Zhao Rui home who was guarding the door of the emergency room.He didn't know when he fell asleep that day, and he cried when he fell asleep. He cried for a long time, and the quilt and pillow were wet.After waking up, he ran into the living room without his clothes on.Before the words were spoken, his mother shook her head gently at him.His eyes were blackened, and he fell down on the coffee table, his forehead was cut, and blood flowed down.

Zhao Rui only mentioned one detail, the peaked cap.When Xianxian fell on the sidewalk, he shook him, but he didn't respond, only the white edge of the peaked cap was inexorably turning red little by little.Later, he took it off and covered Xianxian's face.His face was very calm at the end, as if he was asleep, and he was still smiling.

No wonder I can no longer find that hat.

Brother, are you okay?Pu Yun tentatively rubbed his forehead against my shoulder.

sorry.I have wronged you for a long time.you are my best friend.After patting Pu Yun, I put both hands on Zhao Rui's shoulders, and pulled him closer to me, and even closer, with his forehead touching his forehead.The languid light of the afternoon warmed me, but it became colder after we parted.Zhao Rui also told me that the person who threw the bottle was sentenced to three years in prison, but he didn't know the specific situation. At that time, my parents were responsible for everything.Everyone is not good at asking and dare not ask.

Just because of such a boring person, a boring beer bottle, my brother's life was easily and casually ruined.But... before the bottle fell, was there a more boring person who asked him to do a completely meaningless thing?In this world, things are falling from the sky all the time, and it is very rare for people to be killed.It wasn't that I made that damn phone call, that beer bottle was just going to be a forgotten heap of shattered glass on a deserted sidewalk at some uncaring moment.But Xianxian happened to appear where it fell, because of me, just because of me.

As fate would have it.Like countless horrible conjectures in the dark, I killed my brother.

[1] The order of this famous saying is reversed, and it was said by Liu Bei.

(End of this chapter)