Hunter and Hussar

Chapter 49 Nanjing, Nanjing.

Driving to Nanjing is like falling into a dream.As far as I can remember, I have visited Nanjing many times, and I will definitely go to Shanghai more often.But I can't remember how far Jiangyuan is from Nanjing.Sometimes it's close, sometimes it's far.I was afraid of motion sickness, so I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep as soon as I got in the car, but I always arrived in a daze, as if arriving in Nanjing was not dependent on the Mercedes-Benz vehicle, but on sleep and dreams.

We are walking through the bottom of the lake and rushing from Jiangyuan to our destination through a tunnel.The surface of the invisible lake above the head may be as sparkling as the gorge lake three days ago.The moment Teacher Huang's car descended into the tunnel, I felt we were diving into a mirror of calm.

Teacher Huang took four boys with him, and four girls were in Teacher Zhou's car, including Yue Yin and his sister.I sit in the front row because the tallest one takes up the most space.In the back row are Mi Le, Yan Xi, and the students who played the little prince at the drama festival.When we met in the parking lot today, Mi Le and I called him "Little Prince" from a distance.Yan Xi wanted to tell me his name, but he said he liked being called that by us, so he didn't say it.He is not very talkative but very knowledgeable.We chatted with Yan Xi about the Xiashui Lake Playground and the previous ball games, and he just listened quietly.When we talked about Yan Xi's assist hat-trick in the last game, the little prince told us that the term "hat-trick" originated from "Alice in Wonderland", then became a cricket term, and finally referred to a single game in a football match. The feat of scoring three goals.

The player who performed the hat-trick can take away the game ball as a souvenir, Yan Xi, have you taken it yet?he asks.Yan Xi shook his head, saying that he had three assists instead of three goals, and the ball for the Mayor's Cup was provided by the school, and the physical education teacher probably would not allow him to take away the school's public property.Usually the competition is not good, but what about the final?The little prince continued.Wasn't the final held at the Jiangyuan Olympic Sports Center? The ball must have been provided by the organizer, and it might be given to the players wearing caps as souvenirs.The final is too far away, we have just reached the quarter-finals, Yan Xi said, not to mention scoring three goals in a single game in the group stage is rare, the person who can perform a hat-trick on the stage of the final is probably a god descended to earth, Be possessed by the king of the ball.We laughed, our faces flushed from the blown air in the empty parking lot.Not long after, the headlights of a car flashed, and Teacher Huang arrived.If we were in normal times, we would still talk and laugh without any scruples, and then talk about these topics with Mr. Huang.But we're all a little more serious today.The teacher walked up to him, said hello politely, and obediently got into the car.

On Tuesday, it stands to reason that we should go back to take a lunch break after lunch, recharge our batteries and wait for the afternoon class.But all four of us took leave of absence, and the school selected us to go to Nanjing to participate in a peaceful rally.Today is December 12th.Nanjing must be very close to Jiangyuan, so close that we children know what this day means since we were young.I don't know why the school picked us, but I think everyone is very willing to participate in this event.When Mi Le told me in the dormitory last night that he was selected, we were both a little surprised, but we knew the seriousness and importance of this trip.Perhaps it was because the school wanted students from other places to have a better understanding of the history of the province; it might also be the recommendation of Mr. Huang, because he wrote about visiting the Memorial Hall in his National Day homework, and that composition became a model essay.And I, who once worked as a tour guide for Mi Le, may have gained a little bit of credit because of this. [13]
Teacher Huang, my grandparents are both from Nanjing.Yan Xi said.They sure want me to go.

Um.The teacher holding the steering wheel nodded.This is good.

The car drove continuously in the long tunnel.The water of the lake must flow over our heads like a long history.I can't hear anything.The silence in the car made us sleepy.It's past one o'clock, the time for a nap on weekdays.The dim lights and shadows in the tunnel are flipping, in front of drooping eyelids.We seem to have become passers-by hiding in the light and shadow, and we are heading towards the depths of memory through the continuous time.I smelled a bitter smell, maybe a mixture of gasoline and bile, the smell of motion sickness as a child.But I dozed off, sleep was safe, it kept me from dizziness and discomfort, it was like sinking to the bottom of a lake, in the darkness without waves or throbbing.

The earth is suffering.The words jumped out of my head.Waking up from the dream, listening to Teacher Huang's "arrival", I opened the car door and walked into the cold wind of December.The earth is suffering, just as the north is sad. The speech under the national flag yesterday was a poem recitation by the students of class 14. I still remember that "the north is sad" is the opening chapter of a long poem.Seeing the sloping statue and the solemn memorial hall under the thick clouds again, I felt cold all over my body. When I lost my temperature, I felt the gray congeal, so I couldn't help leaning towards Mi Le.In fact, everyone is shortening the distance between each other, and no one speaks.We are like four elementary school students in the lower grades, standing next to each other, like a group of little rabbits snuggling up to keep warm in the cold wind, following Teacher Huang to the lecture hall of the memorial hall without leaving each other.

The lights are bright and the heating is well turned on.In the back row of the lecture hall, we found seats belonging to No. [-] Middle School.After one by one sat down, the teacher didn't say anything, and we didn't say a word, as if we just looked at each other's eyes to confirm each other's existence.In the large lecture hall, there is no other sound except the footsteps when walking and the rubbing of down jackets. This kind of silence and silence are like green vines climbing and growing in the invisible place.It would be nice to have a little green, like the green that shone before my eyes a few days ago when I regained my sight, it is precious, in the cold and dry time.I saw Yan Xi put her arms on the armrest of the seat, and the little prince's arms were naturally and lazily folded on top of him.We are all waiting.

"Teacher, why didn't Xuexue come?" Mi Le suddenly said, and everyone looked at Teacher Huang.He didn't answer right away, but lowered his head in thought.

"Teacher, I mean, last time we mourned for the victims of the air crash, Xuexue wrapped black gauze around his hands. I think he is very kind, and he should really want to come to today's peaceful rally." Mi Le continued.Teacher Huang still didn't answer, and stretched out his hand to pat Mi Le's furry little head, and smiled kindly.

Xuexue, what a weird person.I always do something that confuses me, but sometimes I can't help being attracted to him.If Mu Zheng hadn't told us, I would never have guessed that he was Teacher Huang's child.Even though they both give off a sense of uninhibited ease, a teacher is a teacher after all.Xuexue seems to be always full of energy, with infinite passion and fighting spirit, but always says "damn", with an expression of indifference to many things.I don't hate him, it's just for his mantra: I really don't like to talk about "death" at all times.

Death should not be mentioned casually. I was educated by the elders at the New Year's table.Maybe it's too heavy on its own.The death of one person is a tragedy, but the death of tens of thousands of people is the suffering and pain of the nation.But... is Xuexue a person who doesn't respect life?No, never.We all saw the fingers raised to the sky and the black veils flying that day.I believe that Xuexue, like us, bowed his head during today's class break and the collective silence, thinking about his connection with the suffering that happened on this land in a short period of time.

Could it be so?The more a person pays attention to one thing, the more he will pretend to be indifferent in front of others.Am I a bit of that too?Actually, I really care about Xianxian.I cared a lot when he was still around, and I cared even more and cared more and more after he was gone.But in the days when he was still there, I didn't treat him very well. I always deliberately angered him and bullied him. Maybe I was expressing my concern for him in this way?How stupid.I should have been nicer to him.

But why does Xuexue care so much about whether he is dead or not?He is obviously healthy, and his family is doing well...

Maybe I'm just too far out of his life.I don't know what happened.So what if you know?Who among us does not know about the Nanjing Massacre?But why did the Japanese massacre?How did they kill it?Years ago, what happened to Nanjing, the capital, during its hellish days?What is the name of our murdered compatriots?How do you live?There are so many things that we kids don't understand.It is for this reason that we are here today, looking at the people on the podium seriously and meticulously, and listening to their words that penetrate the smoke and dust of history.We cannot forget this history, just as we cannot forget our own memory.If I forget Xianxian, I will be a brother without a conscience.Similarly, if we forget about the past and just treat it as a dispensable pebble in a long time and kick it away when we see it, that is also without conscience.That is life, human life.It's gone and never coming back.

But can we really touch and restore history?I heard someone who was giving a speech talk about a scholar who studied the Nanjing Massacre and wrote a book with outstanding results, which is amazing.

But she committed suicide.Everyone is missing her and commemorating her now, but she is no longer in this world. [2]
why?I want to ask Mr. Huang.Maybe he can answer me.It seems to me that he knows a lot of things.But I was silent, he was silent, and everyone was silent.It's polite.I understand that you can't interrupt or whisper when someone is talking, but I really want to know.

Did she really come into contact with that period of history and see that kind of darkness, tyranny, cruelty, and that kind of evil that people cannot bear?Just like a person surrounded by a fire, he can only put his hands by the fire to roast, but he cannot really put his hands into the fire, otherwise his hands will be burnt.Or a prospector who walks slowly into the depths of the lake, and as he goes deeper and deeper, he becomes more and more aware of the water quality of the lake, but will eventually be swallowed by the cold lake water?I am not sure.

There are four old people on stage.Trembling, looking from a distance, their faces are like old trees.The staff moved chairs for them, but they didn't sit down immediately, but gave a military salute to all the people in unanimous agreement.Their hands were trembling, and their arms were barely raised, like a dry branch, and their salutes were not so straight and standard, but they worked very hard. The heavy years must have injected lead into their bodies, but they still haven't used it. They forget who they are.It must be a soldier, a soldier who participated in the Anti-Japanese War. [3]
I subconsciously looked at the people around me, my three partners, and Teacher Huang, everyone was like a child, ready to slowly and attentively listen to the old man talk about the past.The Japanese army was well equipped, with planes, tanks and naval guns, bombing endlessly, and the positions were covered in flames.said the old man.We have nothing but to dig trenches, hide in them, and wait for the enemy to come close to melee.Sleeping in the trenches at night, no one dared to close their eyes, no one could close their eyes.

I was a sophomore in high school that year.said another old man.He said the name of his school, and we didn't respond. The school we had never heard of seemed to have nothing to do with us.Teacher Huang turned his head and told us gently that it was the predecessor of our school.We couldn't help but looked at each other.This old man with a hoarse voice and a woodcut face on the stage is our alumni, or our predecessors.We have such a weak relationship with him, a relationship that has not been broken after more than 70 years.In the dark bombing, our school was razed to the ground, leaving only two solitary pillars standing in the sky full of gunpowder smoke and war.

It is amazing to think about it, how big our campus is today.Especially the new campus on the outskirts of the city, it is so big that we always complain that it is too remote, desolate and empty.It is so neat and beautiful, with teaching buildings, laboratory buildings, and stadiums, so that we can't imagine that there were only two pillars left in it.

It is not just our school, the campus that was destroyed in the war is far more than ours. "If the enemy can destroy it, I can restore it." The old man talked about what a principal said.Our Nanjing-born predecessors soon joined the army, joined the military academy, and then went to defend Changsha.There were more than 50 students in a company, and 37 of them died in a battle. [4]
"Our class is only in the early 40s." Yan Xi muttered in a very soft voice.His partner rubbed his shoulders.That's right, there are more than 40 people in our class.If one day we need to go to war to defend the country, after a battle, will there be only a few people left?I secretly glanced at Mi Le and found that he was also looking at me.So I passed my arm over, and he grabbed my forearm hard, which hurt a little, and filled my brain with a sense of reality.We are all alive, in this bright hall.

If there are really only a few people left, can I survive?Can Miller survive?have no idea.I won't be so lucky.It was like drawing a lottery with more than 40 people with their eyes closed. I couldn't get those lottery tickets.But if I can't smoke it, I will die.As for the old man who told the story, he decided to leave the campus and go to the battlefield by himself, and he also decided to be in a battle where the sacrifice was far more than the survival.He survived, but many more classmates left forever 70 years ago.

Perhaps the moment you stand on the battlefield holding a gun, you are a hero.War is far from being as simple as what we see in movies or games. The deterrence it brings to us is too far and too weak, so far that we seem to forget its cruelty.However, this is not the case in every country in the world. How many children our age have already touched a gun at my age?I don't know.This is not an age when one should touch a gun or consider sacrifice, but sometimes it can't be helped.For a moment, I imagined me 70 years ago, and imagined that I died in an unknown alley, or on a piece of burnt soil.Maybe a boy like me died like this 70 years ago.I don't know, I just want to say to Mi Le, grab me harder, so that I can tell me that I live in the present, in an era where I don't need to die suddenly.

But someone died suddenly.

"I'm sorry..." The interview seemed to be over. The four old men stood up together and bowed to everyone present, "We didn't defend Nanjing." The reeds blown by the wind don't know whether to applaud or say something.I don't know.In a daze, he covered his mouth with the palm of his hand and lowered his face.I didn't look at my friends around, not knowing what expressions were on their faces.Ever since I was a kid, I've been an emotionally contagious person.If someone sheds a tear, I cry too.

"There's no need to apologize." Yan Xi's partner said softly, only a few people around us could hear, "It's not their fault. They are heroes." His words made me feel even more uncomfortable.I think so too.

Whose fault is it?I thought about this question and walked out of the memorial hall with everyone in the sinking twilight.The old men who fought in the war think they are responsible for the tragedy that happened in this city, but even if we are not sensible children, we know that they have done their best.Why are they even apologizing?Perhaps this is also my own decision. I still regret and feel guilty for the past. Even after 70 years, this feeling cannot be completely resolved.Perhaps some traumas are accompanied by a person's life, just like the cruel massacre is a history that no one can forget.In the face of this dark past, it is so pale and powerless to calmly reassure you with "come out" and "don't think too much". had life.

People are always walking in their own memory and larger history. As long as they still have a conscience and remember things, how can they pretend that nothing happened and nothing happened?Perhaps the moment our seniors left the campus and put on their military uniforms, they decided to make some changes because they saw a lot of things.Our country is big, we can fight for a long time, we are still alive even if we are devastated, and we will not surrender or die.Just like our campus, it has only two pillars left, but it is still alive and will still stand in the scorched earth.

As long as there is hope in life, we can change.But what if he died?If you die, you have no chance at all.

The black sculpture points obliquely to the sky, as if suspended in the cold wind.We clung even closer, Miller resting his head on my coat.When it's too cold, we need a little warmth from each other.I believe we are alive and will continue to live.

[1] December 12th is the National Memorial Day for the Nanjing Massacre Victims. The national public memorial ceremony is used to pay homage to more than 13 compatriots who died in the Nanjing Massacre.

The Battle of Nanjing, also known as the Battle of Nanjing, was a battle launched by the Chinese army to defend the capital Nanjing against the Japanese invaders after the defeat in the Songhu Battle.On December 26, the 1937th year of the Republic of China (12), the headquarters of the Japanese army issued the "Mainland Order No. 1", ordering the Central China Front Army and the Navy to coordinate and divide the troops into three groups to capture Nanjing.Chiang Kai-shek appointed Tang Shengzhi as the commander-in-chief of the capital garrison to deploy the defense of Nanjing.Due to the disparity in the strength of the enemy and ourselves, the gates of Nanjing were successively captured by the Japanese army. The defenders resisted steadily and sacrificed countless lives. On the 8th, Tang Shengzhi was ordered by Chiang Kai-shek to issue an order to retreat the defenders.Due to the disorderly retreat, most of the defenders stayed in the city and were massacred by the Japanese army, causing heavy losses. On December 12, Nanjing fell, and the Japanese army began the tragic Nanjing Massacre.

Nanjing Massacre (Nanjing Massacre) refers to the period from 1931 to 1945 during the Chinese Anti-Japanese War. Under the command of the main culprits, Asaka Miya Hatohiko, Commander Matsui Iwane of the Central China Dispatch Army, and the Commander of the 1937th Division, Tani Hisao, the Japanese invaders carried out an organized, planned, and premeditated massacre in Nanjing and nearby areas for six weeks. And rape, arson, robbery and other bloody atrocities.In the Nanjing Massacre, a large number of civilians and prisoners of war were killed by the Japanese army, and countless families were torn apart. The number of victims in the Nanjing Massacre exceeded 12.The Nanjing Massacre was a flagrant violation of international treaties and basic human moral norms by the Japanese invaders, and it was one of the most prominent and representative examples of the numerous atrocities committed by the Japanese army during the war of aggression against China.During the Nanjing Massacre, "New York Times", "Central Daily", "Xinhua Daily" and other Chinese and foreign media made a lot of exposure of the Nanjing Massacre.After the war, the Nationalist government of China conducted an extensive investigation into the Nanjing Massacre.Among them, the Nanjing Military Tribunal for War Criminal Tribunals found that there were 13 cases of mass massacres by the Japanese army, killing more than 12 people; A catastrophe.

[2] Zhang Chunru (Iris Chang, 1968-2004), Chinese-American female writer and historian, native of Huaian, Jiangsu.Zhang Chunru is a second-generation Chinese American born in New Jersey.She is good at describing the life of Chinese in China and the United States in a novel and unique way, revealing little-known important historical materials of Chinese history and American Chinese history, such as "The Biography of Qian Xuesen" and "Chinese in America". The Nanjing Massacre, published in 1997, described the details of the rape, abuse, and murder of a large number of Chinese civilians by the Japanese army in Nanjing. It was listed as recommended reading by the New York Times and was named one of the best books of the year by Book Review.After the book was published, seminars related to the Nanjing Massacre were also held in universities such as Harvard and Stanford in the United States, and the Nanjing Massacre was widely reported by the American news media.Kirby, dean of the history department at Harvard University, believes that it is "the first book in English that fully studies the Nanjing Massacre".Zhang Chunru collected a large amount of materials in Chinese, Japanese, German and English, as well as unpublished diaries, notes, letters, and original materials of government reports. She even consulted the transcripts of the Tokyo War Criminal Trial and contacted Japanese WWII veterans through letters .During the writing process of the book "Nanjing Massacre", Zhang Chunru often trembled with anger, suffered from insomnia and nightmares, lost weight, and lost her hair.What she is facing is a history that shows the cruelty and blood of human nature. The Nanjing Massacre is an encyclopedia of torture. She has to face it concretely and describe it.After the book was completed, she had to face revenge and harassment from the boss again.She kept receiving threatening letters and phone calls, which made her keep changing her phone number and dared not disclose the information of her husband and children casually. She once told her friends that she had been living in fear all these years, which was also related to her depression. Be sure to contact.

[3] For the prototypes of the four old men, see "Modern Express" report "Sorry, we didn't defend Nanjing back then" on December 2013, 12.

[4] Quoted from Luo Jialun.Luo Jialun (1897-1969), courtesy name Zhixi and pen name Yi, was born in Jinxian, Jiangxi Province, and his ancestral home was Jiangshu Village, Qianqing Town, Keqiao, Shaoxing, Zhejiang.He is the student leader and namer of the "May [-]th Movement", a famous educator, thinker and social activist in modern China.During the May [-]th Movement, he personally drafted the only printed leaflet "BJ Academia All Manifesto", and put forward the slogan of "struggling for national power abroad and eradicating national thieves at home".He later served as the president of Central University.

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