flowers on stars

Chapter 4 Flower·Guyong
I thought that youth would end slowly, but it turned out that it ended only in an instant.In the mist of that person's departure, the youth no longer smiled ostentatiously, nor did it feel wanton pain.

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In fact, he remembered the girl with the ponytail when she was deducted points for the first time during the inter-class exercise.

The name on her school badge is Cheng Anzhi.

I will remember her because she secretly looked at him with a nervous and innocent expression, very similar to Feng Xun.

Feng Xun, who recited the list of medicinal materials with him when he was a child.

Feng Xun's memory is not as good as his. When grandpa was taking their exams, she always secretly looked at him, wanting him to give him a hint. At that time, she had such an expression.

But at that time, he was so principled, his small face pretended to be serious, and he never let her get what she wanted once.

After she left, he sometimes regretted that if he had helped her more at that time, would Grandpa have chosen to keep her.

But if she stays, he will leave.

They will eventually separate.

At that time, he already had a lot of experience in being liked by girls.

Even teachers who are acquainted with each other sometimes make fun of it.

But he, who seems calm and determined, is actually a late bloomer in this regard.

Sometimes when he sees the fiery words in those love letters, all kinds of distant and unreal long-lasting, he will feel confused.

At that time, he was already very busy, busy with various homework, busy with school affairs, and had to find time to follow up with his grandfather.

He didn't know why those girls had the time to dream.

But Cheng Anzhi, she is a little different.

Sometimes he would guess what Feng Xun was doing at the moment from her behavior.

If she also fell in love with a boy like this, would she also look around like this, frantically asking, pitiful and a little stubborn.

He thought about it, and found that in his heart, he had a little hope that Feng Xun would live like this.

Ordinary and free, who will cry over little things and be easily laughed at, like a grass swaying in the wind everywhere.

When he was very young, he vaguely felt that not everyone wanted to become a towering tree.

It's just that sometimes you are chosen by fate, and you are not qualified to be ignorant.

When the male classmate in the same class ran in grabbing a few crumpled pieces of paper and threw them on his desk with a big laugh, he only took a glance and recognized that the picture was him.

In the painting, he is carrying a girl on his back, followed by another girl with a ponytail.

There is no need to hide what happened that night, and it was soon guessed that the author of those paintings was one of the two girls in the paintings.

He didn't expect Tang Yanyan to come to him to clarify that it wasn't him, so there was only one answer left.

Going back and looking at those few sheets of drawing paper again, a slight smile appeared in my heart.

Her drawing skills are not very good, but when she drew his part, it can be seen that she put great effort into it.

On the day of the Christmas party, he inadvertently saw her sneaking over like a kitten, and he thought she would work up the courage to talk to him.

But she didn't.

She even sneaked a hideously ugly dinosaur into his gift pile that she got from nowhere!
Then run away.

When she ran away, he saw a button rolled off her clothes, round and wooden, when he walked over, it was lying there alone, like a small eye.

He bent down and picked it up.

In the following years, he cleaned the room many times and threw away many old things.

But for some reason, the red dinosaur was always left behind.

Once he accidentally pinched its belly, only to realize that it would yell hoarsely.

I love you, I love you.It repeated this sentence with puffy eyes, not showing love but anger.

until the battery is exhausted.

He stuffed the button into the zipper bag that held the battery.

8. I am lonely and courageous, and I only use it for one place in my life

One day at the end of July, cicadas roared.

After school started, we were in the second year of high school, and almost all of the summer vacation had to be spent in make-up classes.Fortunately, Qichun and I both chose liberal arts. Although we were divided into classes, we were still together.

I was lying on the desk doing math test papers, and the whirring ceiling fan above my head couldn't blow a little bit of coolness, which only made people feel more irritable.

The broken hair was stuck to the forehead with sticky sweat, and the eyelids were a little itchy. I rubbed my eyes, and suddenly felt that someone stabbed me lightly with a pen in the back.

I tilted my head, and a note was handed over from behind.

This is a trick we often play in our self-study classes. Girls and boys who are close to each other use notes to chat privately, and the students who help pass them will consciously not peek, as if it is an unwritten public agreement.

Sitting behind me is Qichun, and she is usually the only one who passes notes to me.

I opened the note and saw strange handwriting on it.

"I wrote to him to confess my love."

I was a little dazed, wondering if someone had made a mistake, but when I turned my head to look, Tang Yanyan glanced at me from behind and blinked.

I didn't expect it to be her.

After the summer vacation, we began to study in new classes, and Tang Yanyan also chose liberal arts, so we became classmates.

But she never initiated a conversation with me once.

I stared at the delicate handwriting on the note in a daze.

he?
is it him.

I put a question mark and handed it back.

There are a lot of words coming back this time.

"He came to the school two days ago, and many classmates went to him to write a gift letter. I don't want to regret it, and I don't want to regret it, so I gave the letter to him. No matter what the result is, at least I did it. What about you?"

Only then did I confirm that she was talking about a letter.

I also wanted to go to him to write a gift letter. Many girls in the class went. I took a notebook and glanced at him from a distance, and suddenly lost interest.

I already have a lucky textbook of letters.

This is my tenderest secret.

I put my hand on the half of the math book under the test paper. It has been carefully wrapped by me. From the outside, it will not be noticed by anyone.

Even my mother found out that I wanted to grab that math book while eating and sleeping. She was so moved that she boiled chicken soup for me for several days.

My math grades have always been bad, but I have a faint feeling that it will definitely get better.

Because in this book, there is a breath so close to him.

On one page, a very cute chick was drawn. Its chubby body was pecking rice vigorously, and there was a big drop of sweat on the top of its head.

Below are his words: Hardworking chicks have rice to eat.

I seem to see him showing a naughty young man's smile, which is a rare expression of his on weekdays;

The pages of the entire book are clean and tidy, but not new. Almost every page is fully marked, and notes and hints are everywhere.

I also seemed to see his hardworking and serious figure at his desk late at night under the shining halo;

If the letter in the past was a smiling shadow standing in the sun, now he is a neighbor sitting quietly beside me, sometimes making faces, sometimes frowning, and sometimes patting my head.

Cheng Anzhi, I'm right here.

I will wait for you in front.

I am often taken aback by the voice I imagined, but then, there will be wild wishes that I have never imagined before entering my mind.

I was raised as a well-behaved mediocre kid, I never had what I wanted, only the things I was told I had to do in my life.

It was a letter that made my barren youth start to burn.

I was so ready to move, I actually wanted to be reborn from the ashes.

I carefully looked at the note Tang Yanyan handed over again.

I think that she, who is so shy and introverted, even took the initiative to tell me this matter, she must have figured it out in her heart, right?
Muster up the courage to put an end to the dream I had in my youth, that's all.

One day when I recall it, I can smile and say, ah, that is the story of my youth.

Such stories have ended without a beginning, they are green, confused, pure white, and fantasy.

I guess, this is the last choice of most people in the heart of youth.

But, I don't.

I knew, always knew, that I wasn't beautiful, or smart, or even brave enough.

But then I gradually began to confirm one thing, I like letters, and I will definitely last longer than anyone else.

I am lonely and courageous, and I only use it for one place in my life.

End of the world, never give up.

I replied to Tang Yanyan on the note: "Well, I will go too."

Draw a smiley face for her, and we'll make up.

9. You might as well go naked around the campus, he will remember you forever

"Are you really going to do such a stupid thing?" Meng Qichun lay on my desk and shook his head feebly.

She recently permed and dyed her hair in disregard of the school order. Although it wasn't an exaggerated style, the slightly curly short brown hair still added a bit of charm and brightness that was rarely seen at her age.

At that moment, I don't know why, but I remembered something funny.

At the school sports meeting a few months ago, Qichun participated in the women's 800-meter long-distance race.

When the starting gun was fired, everyone ran out.At this time, the broadcast script of which class was clearly broadcast from the loudspeaker: "The gunshots rang out, and the athletes moved forward bravely like wild dogs out of Xinjiang..."

Meng Qichun, who had claimed to be sure of victory before the competition, obviously staggered when he heard this sentence. The rhythm was out of order and he tripped over his left foot and fell over his right foot.

Then everyone was shocked to see that she got up quickly, threw off her long legs and turned around, across the entire playground and went straight to the broadcasting station.

She didn't do anything violent, she just ran to read the signature on the broadcast draft carefully.

After the school sports meeting ended, the nickname "wild dog" of a certain boy in the neighboring class had spread throughout the grades.

But what's even more bloody is that instead of being angry at Qichun for bestowing the nickname, Wild Dog became Qichun's most ardent suitor.

Once after the school sports meeting, he ran over to give roses, and there was only one rose. The most amazing thing was that when he was dressed in white like the hero in an idol drama of the last century, he suddenly stretched out his hand behind his back to seven with affectionate face. When Chun was in front of him, before he had time to read his lines, the only rose fell from the branch in full view.

The whole flower fell on Qichun's small shoe, and the crimson petals spread out sadly, while the bare flower stem was still held in the hands of classmate Wild Dog.

Obviously discounted roses are not reliable.

Undoubtedly, after a brief silence, this scene was thumped and laughed wildly by the crowd.

That time, Qichun chased wild dogs from one class to another with a chair, and the howling of the wild dogs alarmed the Academic Affairs Office.

"I'm most afraid of idiots in my life, especially fighter jets among idiots!" she concluded angrily.

So this time, when I said that I wanted to personally send a confession postcard to Feng Xin, she complained bitterly and bitterly.

"You have hair growing in your head? They've already graduated. You didn't know each other before, and you won't know each other in the future. When school starts, everything will be over. Why bother yourself again?" She couldn't understand why I took the initiative to embarrass myself.

"I want him to remember me." I whispered.

I thought about it for a long time, and rehearsed the words in my heart more than a thousand times.

Qichun laughed: "You might as well go naked around the campus, and he promises to remember you till the end of the world."

Although she laughed at me and opposed me like this, Qichun was Qichun. Three days later, she rushed into the classroom in a hurry, and because of too much force, she almost stuffed her entire mouth into my ear.

"Get your stupid postcard, he's coming to school! It's in the student union office!"

In an instant I understood what she was talking about.

With no time to think about it, I followed her out with my schoolbag in my arms.

At the door of the student union office on the second floor, I was out of breath, and before I could stop, Qichun pushed me through the concealed door.

I vaguely heard her whisper, "Come on."

I stood in the middle of the small room with my schoolbag in my mouth, holding my schoolbag. I thought I must have looked stupid and dumb at that time, and behind the desk by the window was a letter with a surprised expression.

Only him.

Looks like he's here to pick up the last of his stuff.

He looked at me without opening his mouth or smiling, as if he had already understood the purpose of my trip.

I don't know if he remembers me or not, so many intersections like white feathers brushing the water surface, did they leave even a little trace in his heart?
I dare not look him in the eye.

The weather was bad and overcast that day, with large black clouds piled up in the sky, as if it was going to rain heavily.

It was noon, and there were only make-up classes left in the school. The air was unusually quiet and humid, enclosing us like an invisible hood, as if no matter how soft the sound was, the wound would be torn.

I still spoke.

Like I said, I've rehearsed it a thousand times in the mirror.

"I'll send you a postcard." I took the postcard from the small interlayer of my schoolbag, then put the schoolbag on the empty chair next to it, took a step forward, and handed the postcard with both hands.

My voice was tight and strange, but after completing this series of actions, I didn't tremble.

Many years later, I had a chat and wrote a letter saying that my expression at that time was called seeing death as home.

He took it, moving slowly but without pausing.He didn't read it, but gently placed it on a book at hand, with the front pattern facing up.

The pattern on that postcard is a clear blue sky.

I once heard that he really likes to shoot all kinds of skies.

"Thank you," he said.

I found that he has a habit of always focusing his eyes when looking at people.Not evasive, nor harsh, like a whirlpool that is gentle on the surface but firm in reality, making it easy for people to feel weak and collapse.

I only raised my eyes for two seconds before lowering my head deeply again.

I don't know why he didn't read the words on the postcard right away, and I don't know whether I want him to read it immediately or not.

I whispered, "Do you remember my name?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted his slightly dazed expression, and he blinked once, then blinked again.

Sure enough, he forgot.

"My name is Cheng Anzhi. The one who is as peaceful as ever." I said.

Finally said it, the most important sentence.

I turned and ran.

Running to the corridor outside the door, I heard the voice of a letter: "Cheng Anzhi."

I stopped and turned around stupidly.

He chased a few steps and handed me the schoolbag I had left behind.

"Study hard, come on." He looked down at me and said softly.

My tears burst instantly.

I cried and walked to the classroom.

I think he should have glanced at the writing on the back of my postcard.

"Letter, I don't know what other people's stars look like, but there is only one flower on my star, and it is you."

"My name is Cheng Anzhi, and I will be as calm as ever."

That was the last time I saw a letter all through high school.

His words were like a clean and sad full stop, announcing the end of my youthful crush on that day.

In the afternoon, the heavy rain finally fell. The summer thunderstorm accompanied by strong wind and lightning hit the sky, stirring vigorously as if the world was overturned.

I looked out of the window, and one after another lightning bolts swam through the rain curtain like long snakes, and the sky at three o'clock was already as black as midnight.

Some female students began to cover their ears.

I stared intently, and in the hustle and bustle of the world, I could hear the gradual silence in my heart.

That day, I realized one thing.

I thought that youth would end slowly, but it turned out that it ended only in an instant.In the mist of that person's departure, the youth no longer smiled ostentatiously, nor did it feel wanton pain.

But I have never been so clear for a moment, where I am going.

After a long time, I lowered my head and started to do the simulation papers one by one.

(End of this chapter)