If you can love like this

Chapter 95

After sending Geng Mochi back to the ward, I called Qi Shuli's driver and drove me straight to Park Market.The market was crowded with people, and the guy in the shop at the door was still happily performing the famous flying fish show for tourists, but I had no time to enjoy it. I squeezed into the crowd and found Mike, the old shopkeeper, and asked him to pick the biggest and freshest crabs for me.After returning to my home in the Lake District, I packed it in an insulated lunch box and went straight to the hospital. It happened to be noon at this time.

He was lying on the hospital bed and was receiving an infusion.

Seeing me go in, he smiled at me weakly.

"Look, I made it, smell it, it's very fragrant!" I happily took out the steaming crab, scooped out the crab roe with a spoon and fed it to him.

I asked him, "Is it delicious?"

He nodded and slowly extended his thumb.

But he only ate one crab and couldn't eat any more, but he was in good spirits. I don't know if it was because he breathed outdoors in the morning. His face glowed with strange brilliance, and his smiling eyes shone like stars. Asking me to help him raise the pillow, he half sat on the head of the bed.Then, he stretched out his arms towards me, "Come on, give me a hug..."

"Don't...don't be afraid, I will always be...by your side." He hugged me and even told me not to be afraid.I burst into tears in his arms, and when I was crying, I still felt strange that his heartbeat was so clear, it didn't seem like he was dying at all... But then I realized that this is actually what people often call "returning to the light". .

In the evening, he fell into a coma again and was sent to the emergency room. It was really a flashback!

48 hours. Dr. Smith said he wouldn't last 48 hours!

Qi Shuli made a decisive decision and moved the wedding one day ahead of schedule.He refused to let me stay in the hospital, and asked Milan to forcefully drag me back to my home in the Lake District. Before dawn the next day, I went to the hospital arguing all night without sleep. Make up, Frank's car will be here soon."

"I'm going to the hospital! I'm going to the hospital!" I jumped on the ground barefoot, crying.

"I didn't say I couldn't go to the hospital." Milan took out the prepared wedding dress and handed it to me, "Frank said that he will take you to the hospital first, and the lawyer will wait there to notarize you and Mochi, and then Frank Instead of Mochi, I will accompany you to the hotel, where the master of ceremonies and guests are waiting for you..."

I have been crying.

Milan put layer after layer of powder on my face, but still couldn't cover the tears, "Why are you crying, today is your big day, you should be happy." She was calling me when she said this. rouge.

"Can he really not wait for that heart? Can he really not wait?"

On the way to the hospital, this was what I kept repeating. Milan took the powder box and touched up my makeup all the way to the hospital. She said: "Life and death are fate. You loved this scene vigorously. You should have no regrets. Kao'er, many times people have to face things that he doesn't want to face..."

Qi Shuli met us at the gate of the hospital.

Overnight, he aged more than ten years.I didn't even have the courage to look at him. He was so weak, so weak that he had never been before.He also had surgery tomorrow, but he stayed in the hospital until dawn.I took the initiative to reach out my hand to him and shook both hands. The warmth of his palm was conveyed to mine, which made me feel comforted and peaceful inexplicably.

"The lawyer is already waiting," he said with a smile.

Holding a bouquet in my hand, I dragged a long wedding dress to Gengmochi's ward, attracting countless curious and blessed eyes along the way. Doctors, nurses, and patients all smiled at me as long as I met them.

Miracle!Geng Mochi was actually awake.

Dr. Smith said that he woke up in the morning, without giving him an injection, he woke up by himself.But he couldn't speak anymore, and could only half-open his eyes, looking at me weakly, his eyes had never been so dim, as if the lamp of life was slowly going out.The moment he saw me, there was a smile on the corner of his mouth, but tears dripped from the corner of his eyes.

I leaned down and kissed his tears away, held his hand and pressed it against my cold cheek, leaned into his ear and whispered: "You don't have to say anything, I will listen to you and live a good life... Also, I I want to tell you that no matter how much suffering I have experienced in the past, I never regret knowing you, never regret..."

Geng Mochi's half-opened eyes flickered a few times, and more tears trickled down the corners of his eyes. He moved his lips, trying to say something but couldn't, with a very painful expression on his face.

"Don't say anything, don't say anything, I understand..." I pressed my face against him, letting my tears mix with his tears and flow down together.

There was an eternal smile on the corner of his mouth, and his expression gradually calmed down.

The lawyer gave us the marriage papers.Qi Shuli was the natural witness, and Geng Mochi kept smiling at him, infinitely grateful, so relieved, he pointed under the pillow tremblingly, and Milan, who was standing beside him, helped to take out a jewelry box from it.He motioned for Qi Shuli to come over, and handed the jewelry box to him.Qi Shuli opened it, and it turned out to be two wedding diamond rings.Presumably he already knew that he could not go to the hotel to attend the wedding, so he asked his former rival in love to salute on his behalf.

"You put it on for him." Qi Shuli handed me the groom's ring and said, "At the wedding, I'll help him put on the bride's ring for you."

I said "um", put a ring on Geng Mochi, and held his hand tightly, "Wait for me to come back, be sure to wait for me to come back, no matter where you are going, please let me see you off."

He let out a sigh of relief, smiled and nodded.

"Mochi!..." I hugged his body and refused to let go for a long, long time, tears soaked his skirt.Milan pulled me away, and said while touching up my makeup: "Don't be sad, this is God's arrangement. God's arrangement has its own reasons. You should be grateful. Thank you for giving you two people who love you the most. Men..." At this point, Milan also burst into tears. She glanced at Geng Mochi and continued, "They are one, just like their love for you is also one, no matter how..."

Qi Shuli suddenly coughed lightly at the side, Milan stopped, pulled me up to help me arrange the wedding dress, then opened the door, Qi Shuli led me out of the ward.

I turned around step by step, desperately trying to remember that face, maybe this is the last chance, I want to burn his face deeply in my heart, the door gradually closed, and his face slowly disappeared from sight.The door closed, as if the story had come to an end, a door separating the past from the present, as well as the future.

The wedding scene was set in an ultra-luxury hotel near the harbour. From the first floor to the second floor, the whole venue was covered with roses and lilies, and even the stair railings were wrapped in pink veils.All the guests have arrived, and a long red carpet has been spread from the stairs to the reception platform in front of the banquet hall. The reception platform is full of flowers, and a huge photo of Geng Mochi and I hangs on a heart made of red roses In shape.Unfortunately, due to the rush of time, we didn't have time to take wedding photos.I don’t know where Milan found the group photo, but it was taken by us at the Tianchi Lake in Xinjiang a few years ago.Only a few years have passed, but we seem to be many years younger. Against the background of snow-capped mountains and forests, the smiles on the two faces have an eternal taste.

Qi Shuli led me to the other end of the red carpet.Maybe it was because the lights were too dazzling, my sight was shaking badly, and I was walking wobbly, feeling like I was walking in a barren wilderness, the wind was raging, and the waves of withered yellow grass rushed to the horizon layer by layer.It was obviously full of roses, but why did it suddenly turn into a wilderness?
Standing on the podium, there was applause.

Is it hallucination?The applause sounded like the whistling of a strong wind, and the altar under my feet became an altar. I looked up, the lights were so strong, and my vision was interlaced again. At the end of my gaze, there was an eagle hovering in the sky. It was for our poor love. Whistle, I have exhausted all my strength to pay homage to this love, and so has he.I was shaking so much that I could barely hold the bouquet in my hand.Not only the line of sight, but also my will became blurred. All the guests and flowers receded into the distance, farther and farther away, until they disappeared, and the tumbling grass waves rushed forward. I saw his gray tombstone through the grass waves.

Dark clouds loom over the sky.

Such a monument stands alone under the gloomy sky.

Facing me on the altar, he didn't have a word to say, but he seemed to have exhausted all the words.

If I were Zhu Yingtai at this moment, if the mountains were falling and the ground was cracking, I think I would jump in and lie quietly beside him, instead of being lonely in the desolate world for decades.But I know that I am not Zhu Yingtai, and God will not give me such a chance to sleep with him from now on.Because at this moment my hand was in another man's hand, and his warm words came softly in my ear: "Cathy, don't be afraid, be strong, no matter what happens, I will be by your side, remember, today is I lead you on the red carpet, I hope you will find happiness from now on..."

I don't remember whether I answered him, I was confused, how did the wedding start and how did it end, I have no memory at all.When I arrived at the new house, the room was full of blooming roses and flickering candles. There was no celebration, and it felt more sad than the wilderness, especially the red candle tears, which seemed to flow in my heart.

I stared at the bright red roses on the dressing table, wondering if I was hallucinating again, I actually saw blood blooming on the carpet like flowers, if it wasn’t for Qi Shuli’s violent coughing, I would have thought it was a hallucination, no, really Blood, Qi Shuli spat on the ground.This is the first time I saw him vomit blood!

"Sorry, I can't hold it anymore!"

I helped him to the bed, and he actually said "sorry" to me.

I held his cold hand more than anxiously, "You must be exhausted."

"Yeah, a little tired."

"I'll take you to the hospital now."

"No, no, it's okay." He waved his hands repeatedly. In order to show that he was really okay, he struggled to get up and sat on the sofa by the window. He said, "Tonight is your wedding night. It's a beautiful day. , how can there be no bridegroom to accompany you? Although I am a replacement, I should also accompany you, and I cannot sleep on the bed, it is your bed..."

He also said: "But to be honest, I am really too tired in this life. I am too tired to fight for anything for myself, so I have to let go, because only in this way can your happiness be fulfilled. For so many years, so many years I will not give up on you , In fact, I just want to give you happiness. If you love someone, you want to give her happiness. Only in this way will all the sacrifices be meaningful. But after going through so many things, I found that I can’t give you the happiness you want, even if it means taking my life. You can change it, but I can't give it to you, because I'm not the one you love...

"Because of this, I am often in pain. My whole life has been very painful. I lost my father in my early years, my brothers and sisters were separated, and I came to the United States to start a business from scratch. After going through hardships, my wife died tragically. For many years, I can hardly remember what she looks like, nor can I remember her. I’m sorry I still have so many things worth nostalgic for, until I met you, I walked around half of the world, as if just to meet you, so everything became meaningful, just to have you... I took you with me three years ago When I came to Seattle, I almost thought my dream came true, but when he appeared, you still left me. I am not reconciled, Cathy! I also persuaded myself to give up. When you are not here, I drink every night to drown my sorrows. When I was drunk, I only had hatred in my heart. When I woke up, I still understood that this love had taken root in my heart. Even if I lost my life, I still couldn’t let it go... Even so, God still refused to let me go. Seeing you happy from afar, and loving you from afar won’t give me such a chance, I will suffer retribution after all, Annie is my retribution, and you are even more so!”

"Frank, what do you mean by telling me so much?" I thought he was weird, and he was weird throughout the wedding. He sat with his back to the window sill, and his shoulders were full of cold moonlight, like a silver veil The hood came down from his head, and mercury dripped all over the ground. I suddenly couldn't stand the desolation, and said, "Turn on the light."

"No, let me stay in the dark for a while." He sighed long, paused, and said, "From now on, I will face the darkness every day. Now, let's get used to it."

His voice was hoarse and muddy, as light as smoke floating in the air.I don't know when he lit a cigarette. Even with the candlelight, the surrounding area was still dark, and he couldn't see his face, only the ruby ​​butt of the cigarette in his hand, trance-like darkness.

I thought about it again, "I'm going to the hospital."

Said and walked towards the door.

He called me from behind: "He's fine, you should rest first and go tomorrow morning."

"No, if he wants to leave, I have to send him..." I was about to cry.

While talking, his cell phone rang.He seemed to avoid me deliberately, got up and opened the door to answer the phone, "Okay, I know, I'll come." I heard him say outside.

In less than 2 minutes, he came in again.

I had already turned on the light, and he stared at me at the door for a while, his face twitching violently, but after a while, he regained his composure, smiled and pulled me to the side of the bed to sit down, "Hungry, I Go make you a glass of milk, okay?"

The milk was ready quickly, and he carried it to the bedside, watching me drink it.

As soon as I put down the cup, he suddenly hugged me and started crying, "Cathy, my Cathy, forgive me, I can only express it in this way, even if I am extremely reluctant, there is no way, God knows, how much I miss you, No one will pester you anymore, no more, Cathy"

I pushed him away in surprise, "What's wrong with you, why are you crying?"

"Listen, Cathy, you must be good, no matter what happens, you have to face it strong, because I will always be by your side, as long as he is by your side, I will be by your side..."

He said these words incoherently, his eyes were red, like a beast on the verge of death, exuding palpitations of despair, he held my face, kissed my forehead deeply, and continued in a trembling voice: "This life I know that I have no chance, so I have to wait for you in another way. When you occasionally think of me, don't be sad. I never leave you. My heart beats because of you. When you lie in his arms Here, when you listen to his heartbeat, remember it's me beating for you... How could he win me? How could he be my match? Even though you still love him, it looks like him, but It's actually me, I just used his body. He will hate me, I know he will hate me to death, but there is no way, a lion and a tiger will never be friends, we are rivals in this life, and I will not in the next life Let him meet you before me, I will definitely meet you earlier than him, so that he can also taste the feeling of being unable to love, I have tasted this feeling in this life, and it will be his turn in the next life..."

"You, what are you talking about...how can I hear...don't understand?" For some reason, my vision suddenly became blurred again, and his face kept shaking, overlapping, and shaking in front of my eyes, and I scratched Looking at his shoulder, I saw his mouth opening and closing, and his voice gradually moved away from my hearing range.

I collapsed in his arms like a ball of cotton, and I was so exhausted that I was about to fall asleep.

I heard his last words seem to be: "If he hates me, that's what I want, if you're sad, that's not what I want to see, be happy, Cathy, you'll appreciate my arrangement after all! ..."

You just faded away

You spread your wings you had flown

Away to something unknown
Wish I could bring you back

You are always on my mind
About to tear myself apart
You have your special place in my heart (you have a special place in my heart)

(End of this chapter)