If you can love like this

Chapter 84

This world is so strange, distance and closeness, understanding and rejection, pain and joy are often only separated by a layer of paper.

It happened so suddenly that I had no room to react!
When someone covered my mouth from behind, I was still wondering whether I should go to Shanghai with Geng Mochi. I cried a lot when I came out of "Shangdao Coffee" just now. A black Buick commercial vehicle parked on the side of the road.I wanted to shout, but before I could make a sound, the person was already in the car.I looked around in panic, and there were a few burly men wearing sunglasses. "Who are you? What do you want to do?" I struggled and screamed, but no one paid attention, and the car quickly drove out of the downtown area.One of the two big men sitting next to me controlled my hands and feet, the other pulled out a needle, and the other man behind him covered my mouth and stabbed my arm with a needle. What's going on, the whole body goes limp, and I don't know anything.

I seem to have slept for a long time, as if I was dreaming, but it didn’t look like it. Everything in the dream happened in reality. Just over an hour ago, I was drinking coffee with Geng Mochi in "Shangdao". chatting, the atmosphere was a little frozen.

Geng Mochi sat across from me, dressed in light brown casual clothes, his hair was trimmed very short, almost a crew cut, this was the first time I saw him with a crew cut.The early autumn sun was so good, it shone obliquely through the floor-to-ceiling windows of the cafe, and shone on his face. His face was half shaded and half bright. There was no smile, his expression was melancholy and dazed, and he didn't know what he was thinking.Suddenly, my heart ached and I really wanted to ask him: How are you doing?But I didn't. I just asked, "Where's Anne, how is she doing?"

He shook his head, "I don't know, I can't control her."

As he said that, he took out a silver lighter and lit a cigarette with a snap. He put one hand on the table and held the cigarette in the other. Deep melancholy formed between his brows. His thoughtful look made his My face felt far away under the smog, "You seem to have changed a lot," his eyes flicked across my face, "It feels different."

I smiled wryly, "Yes, when a woman reaches my age, she usually ages very quickly."

He held my hand, "Once upon a time, my greatest wish was to grow old with you, just like the song says, it's very vulgar, but it's the ultimate beauty of life..."

I slowly withdrew my hand and turned my face away, "We don't have this fate."

"Yeah, we have no fate." He shook his head weakly, and said slowly, "I didn't plan to come back, and I can just bury it in the cemetery in Seattle after death, but I still don't feel relieved after all, come and see you , just saw the notice for sale on the water side, so I bought it. I don’t need it myself, I reserved it for you. If you are in China in the future, you can live in this house.”

I stared at this man obsessively, not knowing what to say.

He sighed, and said again: "You are just too casual, you don't use your brain when you do things, you just do what you want, sometimes I really can't do anything about you. In Seattle, the morning after you left , I wake up, people who can’t see you will know that you have run away again, why is it always like this? Don’t you understand after so many things, even if you sacrifice yourself, it may not make me happy, because you are me The whole reason for happiness, without you, how can I still be happy! So after you left, I really missed you, and many times I wished I could die, but now I understand that even if I was really dead at that time, Even if you, a crab, can never turn into a swan, I still won't stop... loving you."

He said this lightly, flicked the cigarette ash, saw that I was silent, looked at me more deeply and said: "Running is actually the most cowardly expression, and I have also run away. During the time when I was just married to Milan, it wasn't from I fled from Xingcheng to Shanghai, that is, I fled from Shanghai to Xingcheng. We were married for three years, and we caught hide and seek for three years. When I came to Japan, I fled from Nagoya to Paris, and from Paris to Seattle. In the end, I still couldn’t escape. The current chaotic situation is actually related to my blind avoidance. If I can face and solve the problem decisively, I may not be where I am today. So I hope you will stop evading and be brave. Love belongs to the two of us, and no one can take it away, so why are you running away?"

I turned my face away and raised my face as hard as I could to keep the tears from falling.

He wanted to say something else. Suddenly, Carpenter's classic "Yesterday Reappeared" sounded in the coffee shop. Both of them were stunned, staring at each other with wide eyes. For a moment, there seemed to be a lightning strike in their minds, and there was silence. The night sky suddenly lit up, and memories swept over with a howling wind. So many past events, so many laughter and tears, were never lost.

As if by instinct, I gripped his hand tightly.

I dare not breathe, afraid that every time I inhale, those memories will be disturbed.

We left the coffee shop silently, and when we were standing on the side of the street, I whispered to him: "I will return to Xiangbei in a few days."

He frowned, "Why? Did I make you feel bad?"

"No, no," I shook my head again and again, "I just don't want to disturb you, you need to be quiet."

"If you want to be quiet, why should I run back?" He let go of my hand, took out another cigarette and lit it, feeling a little agitated, "What I told you just now is in vain, I told you not to run away , you run away, you don't know how long my days are left!"

I muttered, "Milan, I will find you."

He took a sharp puff of smoke, "So what, am I still afraid of her?"

I covered my face and shook my head, "Mochi, I'm sorry, I didn't do it on purpose, I just don't know how to face you, and Milan, I can't beat her, and I don't deserve you."

As I said that, I started to cry, and he sighed and stood behind me.The familiar and blurred breath enveloped me like a dream, and I shook for a while, so weak that I hardly had the strength to stand still.He slowly opened his arms and hugged me tightly, then before I could resist, he lowered his head and kissed me deeply.His lips were slightly cool, and there was a nice smell of tobacco. My mind was dizzy and I couldn't resist. I was completely immersed in this kind of kiss and couldn't extricate myself. I pretended to be strong, but in fact it was pathetic and cowardly.

"Come with me to Shanghai, let's stay for a while, there...maybe we can relax..." He finally let go of me, put his hand between my hair and looked at me seriously and said.

"The ink pool..."

"Think about it and give me an answer as soon as possible. There are still some things waiting for me to deal with." His hand rested on the back of my neck, rubbing it lightly, his eyes were gentle and sad, "The doctor said that I am very hard to hold on. For this winter, I want to be with you in the last time, okay?"

What a longing feeling, this feeling of being soaked in his love under his gaze.In the days when things are changing and people are changing, if it wasn’t for this feeling, I would definitely not be able to survive today. Everything has passed, and nothing exists. Maybe at this moment, only the love between each other is still struggling tiredly in this chaotic world... …

We kissed goodbye on the crowded street, he was going to the music association, and I went home alone.

Walking on the Xiangjiang Bridge, my heart suddenly became very peaceful. This reminded me somehow of a classic old film "Broken Blue Bridge" starring Vivien Leigh. At the end of the film, the heroine Mara ran to the Towards death, I remember being on such a bridge, with cars coming and going. Over the years, I have been deeply moved by this movie.In fact, I also have the same demon in my heart, fighting to the death with me. My pain stems from this struggle. I want to give him the best love, but I am afraid that I will not be able to bear it, and it will bring him disaster instead. The struggle has been entangled in my heart for a long time, and the struggle is especially fierce now.Then what happened?When I walked across the bridge and turned into a secluded street, I was covered from behind by someone following me...

I had prepared for the worst when I found out that I was kidnapped by Chen Jinsen and taken to Shenzhen.What puzzles me is that after he brought me to Shenzhen, he seldom showed up, and when he met, he only asked about daily life, or gave a polite hug, patted the shoulder, etc., which made me even more unreasonable. of fear.Because this shows that Chen Jinsen no longer has the initial "admiration" for me. The relationship between us is kidnapping and being kidnapped. It is very simple and neat, but it is full of murderous intentions. You can kill the killer without hesitation, always thought that he was a modest gentleman, but unexpectedly he was a kidnapper.

For a long time, I couldn't connect the two.

When I realized the seriousness of the situation, I couldn't get out because I was closely monitored. Except for my bedroom, I was free to move around, and other places in the house were guarded, especially the kitchen and balcony.Because Chen Jinsen does not want me to commit suicide for the time being, let alone send a distress signal to the outside world from the balcony. Even the windows in the bedroom are welded to death by stainless steel, so there is no chance of suicide or calling for help.

Desperation, fear, despair...

I no longer have any hope of living, but I just worry about my family and Geng Mochi, they may not know my situation now, if they know, even if the family can hold on, what will Geng Mochi do, his heart disease is beyond cure No, any stimulation may kill him.When I think of this, I can't restrain my sadness. What Qi Shuli said is right, I am really an ominous person, so I hesitated when Geng Mochi asked me to go to Shanghai with him, it seemed to be a premonition, I was hesitating, afraid The reunion spells new doom for him.

Sure enough, before I had time to agree to his request, disaster struck.I repeatedly recalled that day when we came out of the coffee shop and we hugged each other and wept on the side of the street. I remembered the bewilderment and hesitation when I walked alone on the Xiangjiang Bridge. At that time, it would be better to be buried under the car like the heroine Mara, and give my life the most poignant ending.It's good now, I can't die, I can't live without suffering, the bad thing is that I don't know the situation outside at all, and I don't even know why Chen Jinsen kidnapped me.I had no other way to resist but to go on a hunger strike.Because I know very well that once I die, no matter what kind of conspiracy it is, Chen Jinsen will fall short.

The feeling of hunger is very uncomfortable, it is a kind of torture to the limit of life, but fortunately my body and mind are already numb, and I can ignore the pain no matter how great it is, all I can think about is not to let anyone around me get involved , The weaker the body, the stronger the idea.But Chen Jinsen refused to let me die like this. He called the doctor to give me an infusion, and used glucose to maintain my feeble life—the plan easily fell through.I was lying on the bed, but I could not wish to survive or die.

Chen Jinsen looked at me proudly and said, "I won't let you die like this, you are still useful to me."

"What do you want to do to me?" He came to see me that day, and despite my weakness, I still wanted to know the answer.He didn't answer my question directly, just looked at me and smiled, and then smoked on his own, exhausting my patience very patiently.

"What do you want to do to me?" I asked again struggling.

He gave me a disdainful look and puffed out his cigarette, "I gave you a chance, but you have to give it up."

"what chance?"

"Marry me, if you marry me, nothing will happen."

"Is it so important to you that I marry you?"

He looked at me strangely, and suddenly laughed, as if the person talking to him was an idiot, "What do you want me to say about you, Cathy, sometimes you are ice-snow smart, but sometimes you are really stupid, Geng Mochi put all The property has been transferred to your name, don't you know?"

I am stunned.

"Don't know?"

When he asked such a question, he suddenly pulled his face down, without a smile on his face, "I ran around for him for so many years, for what reason, I just hoped to get substantial benefits. After falling in love with his sister, I even I don't expect to get all of him, but at least I shouldn't be at a disadvantage. Who knows that he is a heartless person, and he didn't leave any property to his sister, but transferred it to a man who has nothing to do with him. Under the name of an unrelated woman, this woman is you! If it was transferred to his wife's name, I would feel better, but if it is transferred to you, it is obviously a demonstration against me, and I will not get a single cent of the benefits... "

I suddenly realized, "It turns out that you were with Annie and later approached me because of property?"

Chen Jinsen smiled without answering, neither admitting nor denying it.

"How could you do this? Annie loves you, and you actually used her feelings to gain benefits! A gentleman loves money, and he gets it in a proper way. Geng Mochi must have noticed your intentions before transferring the property!"

"That's why I kidnapped you!" Chen Jinsen's face was twitching because of his anger, his eyes were full of fierceness, "I know you are his everything, more than any property, if he compromises, then everything is easy to say, if Willing to go my own way, hehe..."

I fainted with rage, "You bastard!"

"I'm just a bastard. Is it easy for me to climb from the bottom of Hong Kong's wage earners to today? Without a strong family background and no one to support him, from the day I helped him manage his business, I vowed to make a good career. At that time, he also promised me that he would not treat me badly, but in the end, he not only prevented his sister from dating me, but also removed my financial power in the company, with the purpose of completely driving me out!"

"If I were him, I wouldn't agree with Annie dating someone like you. You have ulterior motives and use your feelings as a bargaining chip. Do you know how important Annie is to him? If you hurt Annie, he will definitely not make it easier for you! "

"That's right, I don't deny that there are financial reasons for dating Annie, but why do you think I don't love her? She forced me to get to where I am today. This dead girl is more heartless than her brother. And self-willed, tired of me, so she quickly fell in love with that surnamed Qi, and she wanted to marry him, she didn't take me seriously at all! Okay, since everyone is tearing their skins apart, let's fight to the death. Well, anyway, I have nothing, I'm not afraid of anything anymore!"

Just as he was talking, Chen Jinsen's cell phone rang, and he immediately changed into a completely different expression. It looked like he was talking to his lover, speaking softly, sweeter than chewing candy.

But soon I realized something was wrong. In his words...how could there be Annie's name?Annie? !

"I know, you are just angry with me, why are you so stupid, baby, bet your own marriage... How can that old man be worthy of you? You should know that I am the only one who loves you in this world. Don't cry Ah, Annie, I don't blame you, really, as long as you come back to me, we will pretend nothing happened and start over from the beginning, I really love you, baby, my Annie..."

My head was buzzing.Annie?annie! !
After finishing the phone call, Chen Jinsen looked down at me with a devilish smile, "I have another bargaining chip, Annie figured it out, she knew that Qi didn't really love him, she was willing to come back to me, it seems These days, my thoughts on her are not in vain. Very good, you and Annie are the most important people in Geng Mochi, let's see if he still competes with me this time!"

"Chen Jinsen!" I roared hysterically, "Don't you just want money? You can do anything to me, why do you want to hurt Annie, she is innocent, innocent!"

(End of this chapter)