If you can love like this

Chapter 48

Work begins.Gao Peng is a very professional photographer, meticulous and patient. He gently asked me to pose in various poses. The background is the photo of the tomb, with lush green eyes, which makes me feel very strange. It was the first time to take pictures in front of the "grave".

After the photo was taken, the two sat on the carpet and smoked a cigarette. Gao Peng suddenly said, "Do you know whose grave it is?"

"Whose?" I immediately became interested, which is what I was curious about.

"My first girlfriend." Gao Peng flicked the ash into the ashtray next to him, and let out a long sigh, "It's been seventeen or eighteen years since she died, and I can hardly remember what she looked like."

Seeing my astonished expression, he raised his face, squinted at the photo and fell into deep memories, "She is my classmate in junior high school. We got married secretly for four years. Later, her family found out that her father is A businessman, very rich, donated a sum of money to the school and asked the school to expel me. The family was afraid that I would be a bad student, so they asked someone to let me work as an apprentice in a photo studio. But I am still inseparable from her, often Secretly dating, once I was caught, I was beaten up by her father's men, and I lay in bed for half a month and couldn't get up... She wanted to see me, but was locked at home by her father, and she wanted to crawl out The window slipped down the drainpipe, and I stepped on the ground... died, horribly, head first... Her father threatened to kill me, my parents were very honest, they were terrified, so they went I paid a sum of money to send me out of the city. Before I left, I went to her grave to take this picture. For many years, I was wandering outside alone. Although I made a name for myself, I was always unhappy. I changed girlfriends, the most I changed three times in a week, the more I changed, the more empty I got, and I got tired of it..."

"Gao Peng..."

"Kao'er, don't you think we have many similarities, we all gave love to another person, gave each other unreservedly, people were hollowed out. We need each other's comfort, don't we?"

I smiled and nodded.

"You are so poor, you imprisoned yourself in the grave before you died."

Gao Peng laughed at himself, "We are all similar. Although we all have struggles, we still can't get out of the grave we built for ourselves. Unless one day we really lie in the grave, none of us will be able to escape."

"Gao Peng..." As I watched him, my heart suddenly jumped wildly, and a huge idea of ​​adventure popped up in my mind for no reason.

"what's up?"

"Do you... dare to take pictures of my body?"

When I returned to Yalanju in the evening, Xiaosi rushed over as soon as I entered the door and handed me a beautiful packaging bag.I opened it and saw that it was a luxury brand handbag, the latest model, I had seen it in a magazine, and the price would not be less than [-].My liver trembled, and I felt that something was wrong. This was obviously for me to take advantage of him, but Xiaosi then handed me a credit card, "Uncle Qi gave it to you."

I took my card and bag and went straight to Jinshuiloutai.

This is the first time I have been to his house. Once I entered, I really understood what strength is. The overwhelming luxury spared no effort to show the owner's wealth to visitors.However, Qi Shuli seems to be more tasteful and did not decorate his home like a nouveau riche. From the color matching to the furniture arrangement, from the ingenious design of two steps above the dining room to the murals on the entire wall of the living room, Qi Shuli's home There is tranquility and nobility in luxury, especially the beige brushed carpet covering the entire living room, the European-style fireplace opposite the sofa, and the glass wall that separates the living room and dining room. I have to admire this unique design , but I don't admire Qi Shuli, he just spends money on it, I believe he doesn't have the ability to design such a decoration style.

"Sit down, don't stand, this is your first time at my house." Qi Shuli's joy was beyond words.He pulled me to sit on the sofa, but my eyes were still looking around, and he said triumphantly, "How about it, is it okay?"

I looked up at the huge crystal chandelier in the living room and nodded repeatedly, "Well, it's not bad."

"I designed it, does it suit your taste?"

My jaw almost hit the ground in shock.He designed it?
"I like to design my own house. No matter how good someone else's design is, it's hard to satisfy me." Qi Shuli got up and played music, which was nice light music, and then he sat back on the sofa next to me and said, "My house in America has The four rooms of this house are all designed and decorated by me, they are very beautiful, you will know when you go to see them."

"You still have this hobby?" I moved my body to the side, feeling very uncomfortable.

"Yeah, I like designing houses very much. I helped design many of my friends' houses... Maybe it's because I wanted to live in a decent house when I was young, but when I grew up, I was wandering all over the world, and I wanted to have a comfortable home, so I'm very keen on this, but no matter how beautifully designed the house is, what's the point of living alone without a woman you love?" He quibbled again.I didn't want to talk nonsense with him, so I put the credit card and bag on the coffee table bluntly, "I can't take it."

"Why can't you ask for it?" He wasn't surprised, obviously he was prepared, "You must have money or a mobile phone in that bag, right? This is normal compensation from me, so don't think about it."

"The stack of banknotes you gave me is enough to make up for my loss, so I can't take this card or bag."

"Don't you like money?"

"I am a woman from a good family."

He laughed, "Are you still angry with me? Just kidding, why are you so serious."

I ignored him, and my eyes were attracted by a small copper figure placed on the fireplace opposite the sofa. I recognized it as Cupid, the god of love in Greek mythology, with his head tilted, buttocks pouted, and the arrow of love held high.The arrow was facing me, so lifelike and cute.I stood up, walked over to pick up Cupid's head swaggeringly, "I've taken a fancy to this little guy, give it to me!" After saying that, I walked towards the door without looking back. "Are you only interested in Cupid?" he asked from behind.

"I didn't fancy you anyway." I turned my back and waved at him, and went straight out the door, twisting Cupid's head felt as comfortable as twisting Qi Shuli's head.

The next morning, I went to the radio station and reported to Lao Cui about the interviews in Xinjiang. After lunch at noon, I started to pack up my things and prepare to fly to Urumqi in two days.Because the weather over there is colder than here, most of what I prepared were thermal products, such as overcoats, down jackets, hats and scarves, sweaters and trousers, antifreeze, etc., stuffed into two full boxes.But I always feel restless, I don't feel at ease, I still think about that post on the Internet, thinking that it's been a few days, things should calm down.Anyway, I haven't seen any reports on the relevant incidents in the local newspapers. With the public relations ability of the people behind Geng Mochi's scenes, at most they just let the rumor-mongers make trouble online. I want to call Jinyi to ask. I have everything in my hand, but let it go.

But what surprised me was that Jin Yi took the initiative to call at noon. I thought she would tell me about the Internet, but she asked, "Kaoer, did Mochi look for you?"

I was startled, "He is looking for me? No..."

"Oh, it's terrible. The ink pond is gone. I don't know where he went. He was supposed to come to the hospital for an examination these days, and we couldn't find anyone else."

"What happened?" I jumped up from the sofa in fright, "Jinyi, speak slowly, why did Mochi disappear? Such a big living person, and he has an assistant by his side, how could he disappear? of……"

"Kao'er, I had no choice but to call you. I'm afraid that Mochi is looking for you. I can't explain the matter here to you in a few words. You must remember that if Mochi looks for you, you No matter what we have to persuade him to come back, he is in very bad physical condition now, he cannot do without medicine, and the weather is so cold, we are very worried about him.”

"What happened, Jinyi!"

"Kao'er, I can't tell you clearly now, Mochi is so pitiful..." I yelled, and Jin Yi began to cry on the phone, "Milan, it's all Milan's fault, this woman is too bad, She is going to kill Mochi. Let me tell you the truth, she is the one spreading rumors online, she is the 'insider', and she is clamoring to hold a press conference to announce this to the media. Kaoer, We are almost driven crazy by her, Mochi is like this, she still refuses to let him go."

I walked to the terrace with my mobile phone, looked at the empty house across the lake, and suddenly calmed down, "Jinyi, did Mochi have something in Milan's hands?"

Jin Yi didn't say a word, sobbing, as if thinking about how to answer.

"Don't say anything, I understand, there is a reason for it?" I paced on the terrace, "I will go to Shanghai to find Milan, no matter what reason she has, if she doesn't stop here, I will tear it up." Her skin is not good!"

"Kaoer..."

The gate of Geng Mochi's residence on the water side is still closed.Since he's gone, I've often walked around the lake to his door, expecting him to suddenly open the door with the smile I've always dreamed of.But in fact, except for the hourly workers who come to clean it every week, the house has always been empty.I tried to go inside the house, but the hourly worker didn't know me and wouldn't let me in.After talking on the phone with Jin Yi, I came to his door again and sat on the wooden chair in the garden in a daze.It was already winter, although there was sun, but the wind blowing by the lake was very cold, I shrank my body, and my hands and feet were cold.

I want to go to Shanghai, but I am afraid that Geng Mochi will come to look for me when I go to Shanghai, so why don't we miss it?I was really entangled, feeling uncomfortable like a cat scratching in my heart, and didn't know what to do.

Started to runny nose and sneeze at night, obviously caught a cold.I thought it was just a small cold and it would be cured by taking some medicine, but I developed a fever in the middle of the night. The next day, the condition worsened and I couldn't speak. My whole body was like burning coals.Fortunately, Xiaosi made soup and porridge for me, otherwise I would starve to death if I didn’t die of illness, but Xiaosi is still just a child. After spending an afternoon with me in the hospital, I couldn’t sit still, so I asked her go home first.As for the trip to Xinjiang, it seems that it can only be postponed.

When a person is sick, it is not only the body that is weak.The exhaustion and helplessness coming from the bottom of my heart made me feel weak like a wisp of smoke, as if I could go away with the wind at any time.Missing, like a latent virus, gave me some gentle strength at this time. When a person is thinking about it, the pain and discomfort will be relieved under the infiltration of thinking.But my mind was always muddled, and in the end there were only some black and white images left, revealing a lonely streamer in the endless bitterness.The name that I have been calling out thousands of times in my heart has now become the belief that supports me. I am chanting his name in my heart like a sutra, wanting to cry a lot, wanting to shout out the window, but after all, I am powerless.Only the raindrops were hitting the window glass rustlingly, and when I turned my face to look, the abyss-like darkness outside the window made people despair.

Returning to the other shore after the infusion in spring, it is already the beginning of the lights, the light from the patchwork landscape lights in the garden of the community does not have the slightest warmth, the temperature has dropped sharply in the past few days, the cold wind is wrapped in drizzle and hits the face like a needle prick , I curled up and ran all the way, and when I was about to turn back to Yalanju from the fork in the lake, I suddenly found that there was a light shining from the side of the water on the opposite side of the lake, and suddenly my heart missed half a beat. Rubbing his eyes, indeed...the lights are on!
"Ink Pond!" I ran towards the opposite side of the lake, the ground was full of stagnant water, and I almost slipped...

For a while, I stood outside the door panting, afraid to ring the doorbell.

is it him?Could it be him?

The rain was pattering, and it was cold to the bone.

I stood outside the door with my hands clenched into fists and my teeth chattering. At this time, I didn't feel the cold anymore, but felt like I was standing on the edge of a cliff. When the wind was howling, my eyes burst into tears.

Because the door is already open.

He seemed to be about to go out, standing at the door, looking at me in surprise.The light at the door was too dim, and I couldn't see his face clearly, but I could smell his breath, the breath that haunted me in my dreams, and instantly obliterated me like an overwhelming mountain.

"Kao'er?" He hesitated and walked down the steps, his figure was outlined by the lights in the room, there was a wonderful backlight effect, countless times, in countless dreams, he walked up to me like this, but every time I What I touched in the dream was nothing but images, and the despair in the dream was better than the soberness in reality, so at this moment, I still felt that I was in a dream, and tremblingly raised my hand and stretched out to him.And he had already stood in front of me, stared at me for a moment, and finally stretched out his arms to wrap me in his arms.All my perseverance and will collapsed in an instant, and I burst into tears.

"I was going to find you," he said, putting his arms around me.

I lay in his arms, trembling all over, completely speechless, and could only cry.He patted my shoulder like coaxing a baby, "Hey, don't cry, I'm back, haven't I?"

In the end, I was almost carried into the room by him. The heating in the room was fully turned on, and the lighting was soft. He helped me to sit on the sofa, and then went upstairs and took a dry towel to dry my hair. The heating made my blood cold. Slowly warming up, I finally calmed down.But I was still worried, I grabbed his towel and threw it on the ground, grabbed his lapel and asked, "You won't leave, tell me, you won't leave me again, will you? Mochi, talk, talk ah……"

He didn't say anything, he hugged me again, his voice was low and hoarse, "Kao'er, I belong to you now. If I don't leave, I'll be by your side...God, I thought I'd never see you again, do you miss me?"

"You bastard! You bastard!" I started crying again, grabbing him, kicking him, and pulling and pulling on his woolen coat.He let me go, took off his coat, held my face in his arms and kissed me hard, I couldn't resist the kiss, I kissed him back passionately, my lips and teeth intertwined, reluctant to part, I felt my whole body float When I got up, there seemed to be a roller coaster in my mind, roaring all the way.

We kissed inseparably, from downstairs to upstairs, everything happened so naturally, as if it was instinct, without any hesitation or hesitation.His bed was too soft, I was a little dizzy when I fell in, and felt like I was floating in the clouds.The stormy kiss fell on my neck, and the heavy breathing was right next to my ears. He hugged me tightly, as if he wanted to embed me into life.

The moment he sank into my body, I grabbed his back suddenly, feeling my fingertips dug into his flesh.I took a breath, the sudden intimacy made me feel a little uncomfortable, my body was actually in pain, I bit my lips and let the tears flow freely, I couldn't tell whether it was because of pain, joy or sadness, and finally I bit hard When he shoulders it, I think I'm angry.

He knew that I loved him so much, but he left me alone. He said he wanted me to live my own life, but he never knew that the best life for me was to be with him.I hate him as much as I love him!

"You bit me! You bit me!" After a series of fierce collisions, he clamped my hands and looked at me fiercely with red eyes, "You think I'm willing to do this? You think I don't hurt? Do you think it's true? Can you let it go? You don't think about me at all, I'm going to die, if it's not a last resort, why would I push myself like this..."

"Geng Mochi, I hate you!" Tears welled up in my eyes, and blood flowed from my lips, "You'd better kill me, you kill me now, or if you leave me half a step away, I will definitely kill you!" will kill you!"

He stopped moving, leaned close to my face, gritted his teeth, "I'd rather you kill me, I'd rather die in your hands, if you can't kill me, I'll go crazy and kill myself someday. Kaoer, I I want to die, I want to die all the time! I would rather die than live now, I don’t want to impose this pain on you, that’s why I give you freedom, if you don’t understand me, you still hate me.”

(End of this chapter)