Chapter 44

She nodded calmly, took the pen, and found that the space in that line was too small, so she wrote her name between the title and the form, carefully writing stroke by stroke.

Sheng, Huai, Nan.

No one had ever told her how his name was spelled, but she had known it since she was a child.

Didn't he say that Huainan is a region in the south, although he is a boy from the north.

The teacher raised his eyebrows in surprise: "Hey, how do you know it's written like that?"

She laughed, I don't know, just intuition.

Looking down, this person's name stood alone and abruptly away from everyone, quiet and lonely.Smells with pride.

Later, when she came home, she bought a thick and expensive book for some reason, with yellowed textured paper and a restrained gray-black matte cover.She wrote her first diary in high school under the orange desk lamp, and wrote the name again and again with the gray-blue fountain pen, but she still couldn't restore the posture of holding the pen holder in the office and pretending to be calm.

She didn't know why she held back her curiosity and didn't ask about this person's information, and she didn't deliberately show the slightest praise and surprise for his grades in front of the teacher. She just lowered her head and wrote about him with no expression. The name, force through the back of the paper.

When the report card was handed out, everyone sighed and wailed at the bottom, which she expected. The former leaders of junior high schools restrained their sharpness, pretended to be weak and praised others, and did it when they saw the results. The tragic appearance that the sky is about to collapse is mostly a disguise.

She sat back in her seat, and suddenly wondered if the students in Class [-] would pat him on the shoulder loudly and exaggeratedly and say "you are so good" when they saw his grades?So, will he purse his lips proudly and pretend to be modest and serious, or will he smile and say "by chance, by chance"?
She met him at the age of five, and then she was eager to try for 11 years, treating him as an imaginary enemy, but at that moment she realized that the distance seemed to be so great.Luo Zhi, a good student who is omnipotent in the eyes of others, realizes during the first exam that excellence, excellence and perfection are not synonymous.Before that, she had been paying a little attention to whether there would be any news about Sheng Huainan. She thought she would become a classmate, but he stumbled in the entrance examination, and his grades just passed the admission line of Zhenhua, and he was not qualified to enter the top class. .She had been secretly proud for a while, and even her mother thought she was trying to save face when she boasted in front of others.

She's better than "their kids", isn't she?
Unexpectedly, his appearance made her feel embarrassed by a slap in the face, and she couldn't even imagine what her mother would think when she saw the three big characters on the list and the shocking grades when she came to the parent-teacher meeting.

However, if she didn't play like this, she wouldn't be the person who made her obsessed with it for 11 years.

Luo Zhi's high school life was extremely simple and boring, and the days were neither salty nor dull.Going to school, leaving school, the 122 bus that is always overcrowded, eating, studying, taking a shower, continuing to study until the hair is dry, and then going to sleep.

But from the moment she wrote his name, life began to take on a purpose.

After the mid-term exam, her classmates all talked about this person. Her seat was next to the window, and when she was leaning on the window sill in a daze, she could clearly hear the two girls at the back table chattering about him.Now Luo Zhi can no longer remember the intoxicated and slightly shy appearance of those two girls. She still remembers their voices, sweet and harsh, when they uttered the three syllables of "Sheng Huainan", they pronounced the ending "Nan" So proud and clear, yet so gentle and ambiguous.

Once you hear a person's name and deeds for the first time, he will appear frequently in your life from then on.For Luo Zhi, the strange thing is that he is her classmate in the next class, and she keeps hearing rumors about him, but she hasn't seen him since the beginning of school.

She thought, maybe she saw him, but she didn't know it was him, after all, who knows what a five-year-old will look like when he grows up.However, those girls said that he was very good-looking.If they didn't lie, Luo Zhi believed that she had never met him, because most of the boys she saw in this school were not very good.

In the weeks after the mid-term exam, the name and news of this person no longer required her to pay attention to them, and the words "Sheng Huainan" filled all kinds of conversations.

For example, when passing by the basketball court, she heard someone yelling "keep an eye on Sheng Huainan", but she panicked and turned her head to deliberately ignore the court.

For example, the girl at the back table said that Master Sheng ranked third from the bottom in their class in the Chinese grade quiz, and he didn't fill in any blanks for ancient poems.The substitute Chinese teacher held the paper and asked loudly, "Who is Sheng Huainan? Do you still want to go to university?"

For example, her tablemate came back from watching the basketball league finals during lunch break and said that class three had won the championship, and their classmates threw Sheng Huainan into the air, but they missed when they fell.

For example, in the new week, she sat in groups near the door and heard a group of boys passing by making noise.A girl shouted loudly: "Zou Jin, Sheng Huainan, you two are here so late on duty this week!"

Another example is when their class teacher always sighs when they mention this name, it seems that the glory of the first place in the mid-term exam of their class is overshadowed by the first place in the school year of the third class.

From an unknown moment, Luo Zhi had a clear wish in her mind, or in other words, a short-term ideal.

She doesn't want to see this person for a while.

She seldom walked out of the classroom, for fear of accidentally meeting her.As soon as the mid-term exam was over, she started to study crazily. She tidied up the desk neatly and orderly, the schoolbag was hung behind the chair, the desk was full of exercise books, and there was only a turtle pencil case on the desk. Seeing her doing the questions silently, she raised her bangs and let them hang down, over and over again.

In the eyes of others, Luo Zhi, a freshman in high school, is a girl who can't speak more than five sentences a day. If she wants to describe her, there are only four words: simple and clean.Simple and clean clothes, simple and clean ponytail, simple and clean expression, simple and clean tone.

Blank.

However, her crazy efforts were not motivated by the same motivation as the modern Cinderella in the idol drama. She worked hard to practice in seclusion in order to be treated as an equal with the prominent male protagonist. After a month, she surprised everyone when she appeared on the stage... She also I haven't seen him, so I can't talk about admiration.

In the final analysis, she was timid.

That wonderful little boy had always been generous and friendly, and she knew that.Although she chased this illusion for a long time, regarded him as an imaginary enemy, and drove herself with injustice and resentment, she still did not forget that innocent and pure smile.She wraps herself in deep hatred, because hatred is easier and more direct than forgiveness and love, which provides her with a steady stream of motivation to live, and wakes up every morning with an important sense of mission.

However, she was finally admitted to Zhenhua with great arrogance, walked on the same campus with this person, and had the possibility of meeting him every day. She actually felt absurdly close to home and timid.What's more, as soon as this person's name appeared on the stage, it made her self-righteous efforts and pride for so many years worthless.

It's simple, she's scared.

She is not without illusions.Sometimes I just cling to certain scenes and feelings and never forget them.

So she will never go out of her way to explore and meet, she just hopes that God can give her another encounter that is as beautiful as when she was five years old and not man-made.For example, one day in the class next door, when she was completely unaware, she burst into exclamation—Come on, Sheng Huainan, this girl scored higher than you in this test, do you know her?She is in the second class.

Then in the corridor, others would point to her and say it was her, Luo Zhi.When she turned her head, she saw Sheng Huainan among a group of boys, who was as clean and good-looking as when she knew him.She would smile at him, with her prettiest, proudest and calmest smile, and then turn around and go back to the class, pressing her heart completely to the bottom of the water.It was a farewell and it was over.

This kind of fantasy is even more idiotic than the plots of idol dramas. She is ashamed to think about it, but it is indeed the most ardent desire buried in her heart.

People always need some rituals. Rituals give people a sense of solemnity and fate, and give people confidence.

The beginning and the end should be equally solemn and perfect.

But God will not give her any hope.

She met him in the third week after the midterm exam.

(End of this chapter)

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