Secret Love · Orange Raw Huainan

Chapter 100 Postscript: Daughter of Time
There is a proverb in the West, I can't remember the original text, but the translation is probably: "The truth is the daughter of time." It took nearly four years to write the ending of this story.What I have tempered in these four years is not only my writing skills and the ability to structure stories as an amateur writer, but also directly affects my life, changing my mentality, attitude towards life, and my views and expectations on relationships. , And all of this is the soul of this story.

Many people have asked me: "Are you Luo Zhi? Have you ever met Sheng Huainan? Is this a story that happened to you?"

The answer is all no.Rather, I extract from my real life those emotions and emotions that are similar to others but fleeting and difficult to be remembered, and use all of these as the core and foundation to construct a completely fictional story, To infuse characters and make them all look like they've walked by you.

That's what I'm trying to achieve, and I don't know how much I've accomplished in this story.

I think many people have had a crush on some people, some for a very long time, like Luo Zhi, which led to self-doubt in the end of that pure feeling; Start a confession pursuit; some people love a boy like Sheng Huainan, who is outstanding and arrogant, but approachable but thousands of miles away; some people love a boy, no one can see what is good about him. Well, what kind of vision do you have?" I knew very well in my heart that he was not that good, but somehow I just couldn't let it go...

Including myself, I am not Luo Zhi, but I must be "some people".

I have peeped, inquired, covered up, acted as if nothing had happened, felt sad, chuckled for no reason, and tried to give up with self-loathing.

No matter how brooding it is, it will fade under the scouring of time and circumstances.After years, the feelings don't fade, and that person also fades into the background.

But time is never in vain, and feelings will never pass without a trace. You must have changed briefly or for a long time, maybe in a good direction, or maybe left a not-so-good mark.

But I believe it's mostly good.Relationships don't feel like a piece of gasping driftwood, and whether or not you get what you want, there's always something else along the way.

After "Hello, Old Time", a friend asked me: "Do you have this feeling, once the stories you have never forgotten in your heart fall on paper, it seems to transfer them from memory, Then you will suddenly feel that you can’t remember it?”

I thought about it carefully, and it seems to be the case, although I did not take out the stories and memories in my heart as they were, but changed them beyond recognition, and sometimes I even don’t remember where certain sentences and plots can be mapped to. However, As soon as it really fell on the words, they went away from me.

I am very happy, with this "Secret Love" finally coming to an end, my secret love has finally gone away from me.

It is not accurate to say that, in fact, my own secret love has been put down for many years.Although there are some doubts, it has been solved by time.

I was an exchange student in Tokyo for a whole year in my third year of university. Some professional courses in the school could only be moved to my senior year. In addition to the autumn and winter campus recruitment, I was in a hurry and burned out.I remember that after an interview, I was extremely depressed when I encountered heavy snow on the way back to school. I was swayed by the wind, and finally rushed into the school gate. Tremblingly waiting at the door.

At this time, I heard the sound of the bicycle falling to the ground, and when I turned around, I saw the boy I had a crush on for many years and his girlfriend fall to the ground together.It was a steep slope, and it was difficult for a bicycle to start uphill, let alone with a person.He used to take me with a bicycle, but I couldn't lift it up. I said embarrassedly: "I'm too heavy." He said embarrassedly: "No, no, I'm too stupid."

Thinking about it now, I still don't feel a smile.

At this time, I heard him yelling at his girlfriend: "I told you not to let you jump up at this time, but you just wanted to do this, and you fell to my death!"

Oh, do you believe it now?I really have never met Sheng Huainan.

I thought for a moment, if it was me, maybe I would have a cold face at this time, apologize to him, then pick up my bag, turn around and leave, right? — How dare you yell at me? !
However, his girlfriend tilted her head, smiled sweetly and said, "I want you to take me uphill."

He was still upset, but he stopped insisting, and said with a straight face: "Oh, come up."

At that time, I really laughed from the beginning to the end in a corner where they couldn't see. When the waiter brother handed me the burning jelly, I was still giggling.A very loving couple, a smart girl who knows how to maintain a relationship, and a boy who is still cherished.

Some intimacy does not belong to you, some people are wrong.Even if you have it, it will screw everything up eventually.

I see the daughter of time smiling at me.

Then let's talk about Luo Zhi, Sheng Huainan, and all the people in the book.

I let go of my crush in my sophomore year of college before starting to write the book, which finally ended nearly four years later in 2011.It can be seen from this that I never thought of realizing my dreams through Luo Zhi and Sheng Huainan, nor did I think of using their happy ending to realize your dreams.

Your dream should be the right person, a healthy, stable, intimate and beautiful relationship, and the direction of striving to become better together, rather than a secret love blossoming and bearing fruit, although this is very beautiful.

Luo Zhi and Sheng Huainan have long been my two friends, and I see a part of myself in them, but more, I simply write the stories of these two people, their changes, epiphanies and growth , write their due ending.I like everyone in the book. They are not all beautiful and kind, but they are all working hard and persistently pursuing something, and learning to give up something at the right time.

Four years have passed, and I didn't write until now because I feel that I have the ability and enough vision to complete the ending stage by stage, otherwise I would be irresponsible to this group of people.I don't like high-spirited talk beyond my own life experience, nor do I like ideal obsession beyond the scope of reality, but I don't like to cut off other people's uncompromising hope roughly just because I know a little bit of reality's darkness and helplessness.

I think, after all, I am worthy of my two unlovable friends.

There are still many variables in the future, but since it is the two of them, I believe there will be no problem.

I never trusted myself that much.

I still write teenage stories.Because I was, I will always know.As my own age and experience grow, I think I have the ability to write about those years and youth better, no matter in depth or breadth, I have the confidence to be worthy of it.

I have never met you before, if you read the teenager I wrote, saw yourself, forgave yourself and others, I think this is really the most wonderful fate.

I wish you all the best of luck.

August Chang'an
Nov. 2011, 12

(End of this chapter)