As soon as I speak, I can convince everyone

Chapter 9 "How to say" is more important than "what to say" (1)
"Preach" like Jack Ma, let you have followers

Ma Yun, the most graceful "speaker"

The real insight into a person's inner thoughts is not how he treats his friends, but how he treats his enemies.A person who treats his friends well is not necessarily a good person.Only those who respect and understand their opponents are truly good people.In fact, speaking is the same, look at a person not by the promises he made to his friends, but by the curses he made to his opponents.Those who curse their opponents all day are probably not successful.

No matter what you do, just be casual. Don't be too entangled in doing things or speaking, and don't have too many emotions.Be more casual and free and easy, and you will win more people's respect.Ma Yun's appearance on the "Dialogue" column for the second time is a good illustration of this point.

Moderator: Welcome Jack Ma, welcome.I remember the last time you said in the "Dialogue" that you liked Jin Yong's novels and Feng Qingyang. Once a person becomes a martial arts master, there will be many people around him. You can divide these people into two categories. One is a friend, one is an enemy.Not everyone appreciates your efforts to build such a foundation.Liu Qiangdong complained that Alipay was too expensive, and he had to pay Alipay's rate every year, which was an extra 500 million to 600 million yuan.JD.com has not yet reached the point where it can’t leave Alipay, because the current online payment accounts for only 10% of online payment users in JD.com. Even if it is stopped, the impact will not be great.He really didn't just talk, he really stopped.Just in May last year, he stopped Alipay. I think maybe you want him to be a member of the ecological chain, but judging from such actions, we outsiders seem to regard you as an opponent.

Ma Yun: There are too many people in the world who regard me as an opponent. He thinks it is expensive or inappropriate, so he leaves and builds by himself.In fact, this is very good, as long as he thinks that the building is better than mine, and he thinks it is more efficient, of course he has to support him.As for whether it is so expensive or more expensive, he should know better.You should ask him what the hell is expensive, right?As for the opponent, that's how I look at it.In fact, the most interesting thing about a company is that your customers have grown, and your opponents have also become smarter and growing.A boxer can only grow together when he meets another top fighter, so I think you have to look at your opponent with appreciation.I think before, when I first started my business, I was the same as everyone else. I felt that the opponents were targeting me.The difference between me today and before is because four or five years ago we wanted to understand a truth, that is, we should look at our opponents with appreciation.You see, this thing is good, you have to learn it, and when he gets angry, he loses. This is the process of competing with your opponent, and the most important thing is to make the opponent feel bad.

From this conversation, it can be seen that Ma Yun is a very indifferent person, and this indifference conveys a calm and confident attitude towards life.This is why many people like Jack Ma.Because he is confident enough, free and easy enough, and indifferent enough.

When we face our opponents, let go of our emotions and face them with an indifferent attitude, which can not only ease the emotions of confrontation with each other, but also give a good impression to the bystanders.The worst thing to do is to despise or even curse one's opponent, that is to lose one's own pattern.No one likes a person who has no structure, just like no one likes a person who is stingy to the extreme.

The same is true when facing honors, don't be ecstatic, and don't rush to show your achievements to those around you.To put it lightly, others can see the honor we have achieved. If they have already seen it, we still go to tell him with great fanfare, then it will only make that person feel more disgusted, and it will not be beneficial to us.

Take it easy and don't get too emotional.No matter what you face, if you take it calmly, you will naturally be recognized by more people.

"How to say" is more important than "what to say"
Mencius said that the trouble with people is to be a teacher.This is indeed a common problem for many people.We always feel that we are excellent and can accomplish many things, so we are willing to express our opinions everywhere, and when others do not listen, we will feel that person is stupid, or that the other party does not see us in their eyes.Actually, this is wrong.Try to empathize, and we can understand the truth if we like the kind of pointing people.

A truly mature person is one who does not express opinions everywhere, and does not show off that he is smarter and stronger than others.The meaning of maturity lies not only in growing up, but also in controlling our own mouth.Don't say what you shouldn't say, and try to consider other people's feelings when you speak.

However, many times people will ask us for guidance even if we don't want to say it.At this time, how to answer is also learned.Don't feel superior just because others ask us, because what others ask may not be what we understand.Therefore, if you don't know, don't talk nonsense.The best way to answer is to only talk about the part you know, instead of talking about things you haven't dabbled in.

At this point, Ma Yun has done a good job.Many people think that it is good for Jack Ma to impress the population because he has insights, which is naturally not bad.But that’s not all. Ma Yun’s popularity lies in his clear positioning of himself, and more importantly, his ability to keep his mouth shut, not to talk empty words, or to speak indiscriminately in fields that he doesn’t understand.

When he was a guest on "Dialogue", Ma Yun answered a question raised by the audience, which is the best comment on Ma Yun's performance in this regard.

Zhao Peng: In the process of local life becoming a new wave of e-commerce, you hope that many small and beautiful companies will come out, and we also hope to be one of them. Maybe small and beautiful or Chinese and beautiful. Can you make a suggestion? Just don't do anything?
Ma Yun: This is a question that should be treated with caution. When you talked about this matter just now, I was recalling when I was working on the Internet in 2003, 2004, and 2005. At that time, I actually remembered one thing, which was to help me. customers make money.Taobao was established in 2003 and 2004. I never thought that beating Ebay is just fun. It is to find an opponent and get someone to toss him when it is particularly painful. I really didn’t expect to knock it down. I didn't even think about stabbing it, it was just that when it was about to hit me, I gave it a laugh.But the heart will never change, that is, only if the small Taobao sellers make money, can we survive.The principle of local living is that, let people who like to eat, drink and want to find you to provide services, let them really know the difference between having you and not having you.You have to help them succeed wholeheartedly, the longer this time, the better your chances.The thing you should never do is, don't try to prove your model is right.Because the model you are right today may be wrong three years from now.You just have to prove that it must be true that I want to help my clients grow.

Ma Yun is the boss in the industry, but he did not answer this question as a senior.This is low-key, and behind this low-key is rigor.

It can be seen from the above paragraph that Ma Yun has been using his own experience to speak.This attitude is good.In many cases, even if it is very close to our major, it may not be what we have mastered.What we think we understand may be just wishful thinking.At this time, you must control your mouth and try to speak as little as possible in areas you don't understand.If you have to say it, then combine your own experience and talk about what you have experienced and what you really understand.

You should know that it is not shameful not to speak up about things you do not understand, but it is really shameful to speak out about things you do not understand.Like Ma Yun, who is a bigwig in Internet business, it is the correct attitude not to talk about things beyond his own experience.

We give guidance or give advice to someone in order to help that person, but also to express ourselves.If you speak indiscriminately in areas you don't understand, then you are not showing yourself, but self-defeating.This is the most unwise approach.

Say what you should say, let alone what you can say, and at the same time say what you understand.The most taboo thing for people is to feel that they are omnipotent and that they have a deep understanding in any field.There may be such geniuses, but they may not be us.Therefore, it is better to keep a low profile and tell things with your own experience, which not only gives people a sense of sincerity, but also helps people.Talking empty words will only make others hate us more.

There is no perfect person in the world, let alone a prophet. Everyone has their own limitations. It is not shameful to admit this limitation. It is the real shame to deny this limitation and show off with ignorance.

When others ask us for advice, we must keep a low profile, don't say what you don't understand, and speak carefully when you understand.In this way, we will not damage our own image, and people will not hate us.

Never say what you complain about
People will always encounter troubles of one kind or another, some are setbacks in career, some are troubles in life, and some are troubles that they imagined that do not exist at all.In the face of these, our mood may be affected.Some people will express it, talk to people everywhere, and look for comfort.Some people keep it in their hearts and don't tell anyone, licking the wound a little bit by themselves to let it heal slowly.But some people are very open-minded, and they regard it as a tribulation that they must go through, and face it with a smile.

The first type of person is more like Mrs. Xianglin, who chatters endlessly and thinks she is expressing displeasure to others. What she expects is sympathy, but what she gains is a nagging reputation and a lot of weird eyes.The second type is the silent type, who doesn't express, and always stays alone in a dull manner. Even in the crowd, he doesn't say a word, and has no sense of existence.People will feel that such a person is too depressing, and they don't want to get close to them.Only the last kind of person's approach is advisable. They will convey a positive outlook on life and bring happiness and positive energy to others.Such a person will naturally be recognized by more people.

Jack Ma is the third type of person.He is a man full of passion and a man who does not care about the so-called setbacks.Listening to Ma Yun's speech, you can hear not only experience and wisdom, but also an attitude and energy.These are the reasons why Jack Ma can really have such a great influence. He can always give people strength.Ma Yun said in a speech:
When starting a business, my colleagues may have shed tears, and my friends may have shed tears, but I did not, because tears are useless.

If you say on day one, I'm here to suffer, you're going to be happy.When I was doing sales in 1992, I said that optimism is very important in starting a business. After selling 10 times, it was zero.

Business is nothing more than wisdom, hope and courage. These are the necessary skills to do business.When encountering a problem, I am used to warming my right hand with my left hand.Keep telling yourself, it’s okay, I’m still me, I’m still learning and growing, everything will be fine, at least I’m still alive.

The above passage is the best commentary on the strength Jack Ma can bring to people.This is a powerful speech. People in adversity will cheer up when they hear it, and people in good times will believe in themselves more after listening to it.

This is what we need to say in our lives.Let yourself bring more positive energy when you speak, and convey more optimistic thoughts.In this way, others will feel that we have given them strength, so they are more willing to approach us.At the same time, we can also become happier.

Don't always complain, let alone complain about the injustice of fate to others.In this world, except for our closest and closest people, few people are interested in what we have encountered.They listen to us because they want to get something. If what we convey is a sense of loss, they will be bored. If what we convey is a kind of positive energy, they will feel happy.

It's better to be happy than annoying.Therefore, adding some positive energy to our own speech and making it bring more warmth to people is the direction we should pursue.

To do this, first of all rely on self-regulation.You need to make yourself a happy person first, so that you can pass on happiness to others.You need to fill your own life with positive energy first, so that you can give positive energy to others.Just like Ma Yun, the reason why he can say positive words anytime and anywhere is that he is a positive person full of positive energy.

Therefore, let go of your heart and don't be overwhelmed by setbacks.When setbacks come, just face them directly, there is no need to be afraid.If we are intimidated by setbacks, we will inevitably become a person who has no positive energy at all.At this time, not only can we not rely on ourselves to find the way of liberation, but because we are too depressed, the crowd will not accept us, thus losing the opportunity to gain strength from the outside world.That's the downside of negativity.

Let yourself be a positive person, and at the same time convey a positive attitude towards life to others, so that we can become a popular person.Don't regard loneliness as a kind of beauty. You must know that only being in the crowd and being supported by the crowd is a truly meaningful and happy person.

Speaking sincerely and naturally, the effect is extraordinary

Many people pursue high-profile, hoping to be favored and recognized by others, and even worshiped by others.However, in the process of implementation, they often go in the wrong direction. They feel that if they want to be recognized or admired by others, they must have high-profile words.So, no matter what the occasion is, I boast, no matter where I go, I brag about myself.However, these people don't know that not only will he not be able to gain the approval of others, but it will make others hate him.

A person who really knows how to conquer others with words, his words must be simple.A real master speaker always uses the most common and simplest words to tell the most profound and high-profile truths.Only in this way can people be moved.

Ma Yun has always been a high-profile person in people's eyes. He has a successful career, he is ambitious, and he has extraordinary wisdom and eloquence.However, when we carefully observe Ma Yun's way of speaking, we can find that the reason why he can infect others with his own words is not because of how high-profile his words are, or because he always sells himself, but because he uses the most common but most sincere language to communicate with others. communicate.

When talking about "greatness", Jack Ma said:
What's the difference between being great and not being great?A great person, when it is the most painful time for everyone, when everyone is about to die, he takes a step forward, and when others fall, he is still standing there.Most people say that I am so rich, I am so rich, and I have turned a corner. Only this person said that I still take a step forward, and the person who takes a step forward is a great person.

He didn't use a lot of parallel sentences to express greatness, and he didn't say some empty words. He just made a simple comparison, but it gave people a sense of power.This is the power of plainness.

A great speaker may be extraordinary, with extraordinary wisdom and achievements, but the audience sitting below are ordinary people.Therefore, a truly great person who can achieve himself must be a person who impresses ordinary audiences with ordinary language.

Some of their mouths are topics that ordinary people are most interested in, and what they talk about is the truth that ordinary people are most interested in.The following is part of one of Jack Ma's speeches:

(End of this chapter)