As soon as I speak, I can convince everyone

Chapter 10 "How to say" is more important than "what to say" (2)
Complaining is of no use at all. I think Alibaba is where it is today precisely because of a slogan we put forward a few years ago.At that time, I said very strongly: Don't complain, if you complain, take action and come up with a plan.Because everyone can complain, so we don't need to complain.I feel more and more that Ali is able to have today because of the gratitude of our people.I feel like I am grateful.It is a blessing of several generations of cultivation that I am so honored to work with so many people in my life. I am honored to be born in this era.

I firmly believe this, Alibaba's success has nothing to do with Jack Ma, not mine.I didn't write a line of code, and I didn't make a sales customer. These were all done by my colleagues.However, if Alibaba does something wrong, it must be my fault, because I did not stick to my principles and my ideals at the critical moment, and the people below will go further.So in fact success may have nothing to do with me, but failure must have something to do with me!The poor performance of China's e-commerce must have something to do with Alibaba, because you already have 70% of outstanding young people who believe in e-commerce, but the success of China's e-commerce has nothing to do with Alibaba.Therefore, everything should be treated with a normal heart.We have the opportunity to face this kind of disaster, the opportunity to face this kind of challenge, the opportunity to meet such competitors, and the opportunity to encounter such and such things that we can complain about is very good, because maybe others will not even have the opportunity .

From the above two paragraphs, it can be seen that Jack Ma is a person with a normal heart, at least he has been talking about a normal heart in his speeches.It is this kind of civilian state of mind that can be recognized by ordinary audiences, can touch the hearts of ordinary people in the audience, and is why Ma Yun is sought after.

We are dealing with ordinary people who are often most interested in gossip from their parents.Therefore, when communicating with people, it is often these gossips that allow us to get into the heart of the other person.Always telling big truths, but it feels hollow, turning what could have been a fun conversation into an awkward, incomprehensible party.

Oral is not as good as convincing, clever argument is not as good as attacking the heart

We all have two images, one is what we think and the other is what others see.Many people often confuse these two images.We think that what we think we see is what other people see, but it is not.

Many people think that boasting is the only way to show their charm, so they began to pursue the image of boasting, thinking it is very chic.But many times dreams and reality are not unified. We feel that our rhetoric is chic, and others may think that we are flashy and a person who is more talk than action.Although they may praise us in their mouths, they actually disapprove of us psychologically.What we want should be the approval from others, not perfunctory words.You must know how to attack your heart, rather than relying on high-profile gestures to win verbal recognition from others.

To do this, you must know how to admit your shortcomings.It is manifested in speech and demeanor, that is, to lower your posture and give people a sense of approachability.Of course, more importantly, don't talk too much when you speak, and don't highlight yourself too much.When chatting with people or answering questions, don't speak with an attitude of argument, but speak with an attitude of persuasion.In this way, we can gain more people's approval.

Ma Yun is a master of this, he can always rely on his own words to make others agree with him from the bottom of their hearts.Let's first take a look at how Ma Yun answered the audience's questions when he was a guest on the "Dialogue" program.

Lu Benfu: Today, because of the long communication with Mr. Ma, Mr. Ma seems to have changed a bit today. He has changed from the operator of that enterprise to the godfather. He is also good at Tai Chi and can play big swords. Liu Qiangdong is still only good at playing big swords. He hadn't practiced Tai Chi yet.

Moderator: This is a bit of a martial arts rumor, now.

Ma Yun: I think I like watching the movie "The Godfather". The Godfather didn't end well.But one thing is true, that first job will affect many jobs in the rest of your life.My first job was as a teacher and class teacher, so I formed my speaking style and thinking style. If I was in a foreigner company, I would feel that I was too rude when I met a CEO, and I would always point my finger. Actually, I didn't mean that, I just thought it should be like this.Why do people think I look like a godfather?In fact, I don't want to be a godfather, I'm just an entrepreneur, why should I go to "Win in China"?Because these kids are thinking of any bad ideas, I did it all back then, because we are all the same, but I have suffered, so I want to tell you, brother, don’t go there.But the strange thing is, I said it for nothing, some people still go on.The same goes for me, how many seniors told me: Ma Yun, you will die if you do this, and my dad also told me a lot, I will go through it again, everyone is the same.For thousands of years, human beings have accumulated a lot of knowledge, but their wisdom has not increased much.

Ma Yun's words are very clear. It is an explanation and a self-analysis.It can be seen from this that Ma Yun is very sober. He knows who he is in the eyes of others, and also knows what kind of person he really is.That's why he was able to say that.

This is where Jack Ma is smarter than ordinary people.Many people also have Jack Ma's understanding, knowing that the impression they want to give to others is different from the impression they really feel, but they are unwilling to admit it, and they dare not admit it.That is not good, it will bring us a lot of trouble, and it will not have a good impact on ourselves.

Everyone has shortcomings, shortcomings, and some habits that may not be very good, but it is difficult for us to get rid of.Just have the courage to admit it, and tell the other party why I am like this.This kind of truth-telling will only give us points, not our image.

People are the easiest to err when they talk about themselves.The reason is as mentioned earlier, what we think is often different from what others feel.At this time, you might as well learn from Jack Ma and look at yourself from two perspectives.Analyze why you have certain habits, and at the same time think about it from another angle to see what others think of our habits.Only in this way can we restore a true self, and then show this true self in front of everyone.This is the act of giving yourself extra points.

If we blindly indulge in what we think we are, and use this as a label everywhere and always, then it can only give people a contradictory image.That is against us.

A truly mature person not only knows others, but also knows himself.Of course, it is more important to express this true self and tell others who we really are, rather than boasting about what we want to be.The former is a way of attacking the heart, while the latter can only get verbal approval from others.

Live according to nature, speak according to heart
Many people will deliberately conceal some characteristics of themselves in order to give a better impression to others.Such a person always dresses up according to the eyes of others, trying to make himself conform to other people's expectations.The same is true of their speech, they always like to say something that others want to hear.In fact, this is unnecessary.

There are no two identical leaves in the world, nor are there two identical people.Even twins who look the same may have somewhat different personalities.Everyone comes to this world to be unique, so just do yourself well and say what you want to say, there is no need to deliberately hide yourself in order to please others.

Some people think that this way of hiding themselves is a kind of maturity, but it is actually wrong.That's not maturity, that's sophistication, and a sophisticate person is mostly unhappy and unlovable.It is best to be real and casual.

Ma Yun is a casual person. Everyone thinks that Ma Yun is a famous entrepreneur and the richest man in China, so his daily life must be luxurious, but it is not.Ma Yun once revealed in an interview that the clothes he was wearing were not famous brands, but made by himself, and the shoes were bought on Taobao, which didn’t cost much.This casualness is Jack Ma's habit.The same is true when Ma Yun speaks, he says what he thinks of, and he doesn't deliberately hide himself.

In an interview, Ma Yun answered similar questions.

Classmate: My problem is that I am a relatively straightforward person, but as people grow older or strengthen interpersonal relationships, people gradually ask you to become tactful and sophisticated. Do you follow your own nature or follow the mainstream of society? values ​​go?
Ma Yun: First, don't put these two things in opposition. What you insist on is not necessarily right or wrong, and the general public is not necessarily right or wrong.For you, when you choose this or that, you choose the right thing.

It's the same for me, I think society is constantly changing, and you have to keep adapting to this society.Ask yourself: What is the difference between being with me and not being there, and what contribution can I make to society?What contribution do you make to those around you?What is the value to the enterprise?What is the value to my small shop?This is something for you to think about.

Through Ma Yun's answer, it can be found that he is a casual person, not only in character, but also in language expression. He basically says what he thinks.And it is this characteristic that makes many people fall in love with Jack Ma.

You must understand that the reason why I am me is that I am different from others.That is, what can prove my existence, what makes us different from others, these are our personalities, which must be expressed.Don't be afraid to express your personality because you are afraid of others' judgment, but always say something that doesn't hurt.You know, we think it's satisfying to say that to others, but they don't necessarily think so.Therefore, instead of saying some polite words at the risk of dissatisfaction for both of you, it is better to say what you want to say and satisfy yourself first.And as long as we speak the truth, the other party will definitely feel our sincerity, which increases the probability that both of us are satisfied.

(End of this chapter)