I don't like the world, I only like you

Chapter 14 Armor and Weakness (2)
"But, I have a boyfriend."

"..."

"They still live in the same dormitory."

"..."

"It's because I'm very annoyed by the two of them recently. There is also a boy in their dormitory, who is warm and masculine. I often chat with him. He confessed to me last week."

"..."

"Hey, actually, I don't want to make things like this."

My heart couldn't accept it, "So... you just swept away a bedroom of the family?"

She sighed a long time, "That's why I'm sad."

I felt so inferior, I went back and said to Mr. F: "The kids nowadays are amazing. At her age, I can't do anything well, I can't read well, and I can't even figure out hyperbolic equations."

Someone said quietly from the side: "But you got me done."

007
Mr. F has a good capacity for alcohol, in his words, "It's okay, it's okay to get Qiao Yi drunk."

He seldom gets drunk, and even when he is drunk, he doesn't make any noise, and he can still forcefully send each friend to the car one by one, and finally go home by himself.

I'm different, I won't die if I don't die. When I'm happy, I find wine to drink by myself. The shouts are the happiest, and the pours are the earliest.But I have principles. I dare to have fun only when there are people I trust. If I go to an unfamiliar dinner, I can hold it. No matter how others persuade me, I won’t drink it.

Mr. F expressed his satisfaction.

One day when I got back from a party with my friends, I decided to play "The Robbery of the People's Girl" with him on a whim.

He agreed without hesitation, and was about to rob me, but I pushed him away, "No, no, today you play the role of a commoner girl."

He thought for a while, "OK!"

Then this guy quickly took off his clothes, lying on the bed and beckoning to me: "Come here, hooligan."

Depend on!The folk girl is too cooperative, how can you embarrass the hooligans!
Now it's my turn to be stupid, and I don't know how to start after thinking about it for a long time.

"What are you waiting for?"

I lay on top of him and asked in a daze, "How do hooligans usually commit violence?"

He said with a smile on his face, I'll teach you, and quickly turned over.

008
I have so much insomnia that someone forces me to run with him every day.

Well, it’s time to exercise. I spent a whole afternoon shopping around and bought a full set of jogging equipment.

On the first day, yes, it feels very fresh.

The next day, I was very tired, but he was in high spirits, so I had to endure it.

On the third day, while I was running, I thought how happy it is to lie on the sofa, eat fruit and browse Weibo at this time.

On the fourth day, I seriously thought when would I end up running like this?

On the fifth day, I asked him for leave and said, dear, I am coming to be my aunt.

On the Nth day, continue to ask for leave, dear my aunt just left.

On day N+1, I still ask for leave. My dear aunt is coming soon.

He: "I finally understand, my aunt is omnipotent!"

I nodded sharply: "Yes, yes, our women's timeline is divided by aunt."

009
A while ago in the World Cup, classmate F was extremely unlucky in gambling. Anyone he was optimistic about was basically eliminated. Classmate F was named Pele II, and he deserved his name.

In the final I advised him to buy Argentina.

"Why? Don't you like me? Clauser is in great shape BALABALA"

I shook my head: "Because Argentina's uniforms look good."

He still insisted on buying Germany, and finally won 500 yuan. He was overjoyed and took a screenshot to show me, "Go to the pinnacle of life!"

I said: "The big money asks for support."

He shook his head: "You can't squander."

Me: "Raising me is not considered a waste!"

He thought for a while: "That shouldn't be called nurturing either."

I thought he would say that raising a wife is justified or something.

As a result, he said: "It should be called feeding."

Student F, you are so good at Chinese to humiliate your wife!

010
He is a fan, and all my knowledge of football still stays in the year when China qualified in 02.

Germany's 7-1 victory over Brazil in this year's World Cup made him go crazy with joy.As soon as he woke up the next morning, he danced and told me about last night's game.

"Isn't Klose's frontcourt steal wonderful? I'm against the sky. This massacre should be recorded in history, right blahblah..."

I listened for a long time, and asked cautiously: "Isn't there Ronaldo in Brazil?"

Then, no more...

The head of the office who is also a fan said to me earnestly after hearing this: "Love is so great, he can bear it and not divorce you."

011
Mr. F never does housework at home.

One day I said to him: "Look at the husband of the XX family, XXX, who does all the housework, from sweeping and mopping the floor to cooking and washing clothes, and serves XX like a queen. Don't you feel ashamed and blame yourself for having trouble sleeping and eating?" Ann?"

Without looking back, he searched for his iPad all over the room.

I followed him and continued to mutter: "There is also XXX's boyfriend XX, who is famously gentle and considerate. No matter how unreasonable XXX makes trouble, he will do everything he can. All the anniversaries together are every Valentine's Day, Christmas, birthday, and even Women's Day. Gifts will be prepared every day! Aren't you ashamed and blame yourself for having trouble sleeping and eating?"

He continued to concentrate on finding things.

I was heartbroken: "As for my husband, he only bullies me and sarcasm me. He is away on business trips every day. The gas stove at home is broken and no one cares about it. The toilet is blocked and no one is repairing it. I was sick last month and you were not there. They only tell me on the phone to drink more water, and they don’t understand romantic marriage for so long without even sending flowers. People say that the sexiest time for a man is when you punch him and kick him quietly. I watched you put you in my arms again, but you never did! Aren't you ashamed and blame yourself for having trouble sleeping and eating!"

At this time, this man finally found the ipad in the crack of the sofa, turned his head and gave me a cold look: "I allow you to punch and kick me, do you dare?"

The final word "?" has an upward sound, and I squinted my eyes. I was so scared that I immediately confessed: "Your Majesty, please forgive me, I will never dare."

012
He: "Are you dissatisfied with your position in the family?"

Me: "Of course."

He: "Then I will give you a benefit. Today you can send me at any time to do anything. I will absolutely obey."

I really?"

Him: "Of course."

Me: "Then you go and sweep the floor first."

So he really obediently swept the floor with a broom.

I watched him sweep for a while and couldn't help it: "You didn't sweep it clean at all, you have to sweep it under the bed too, and there is so much dust behind the door, can't you see that your hair falls in the cracks of the floor tiles and you can't sweep it up?" Just leave it alone?"

He: "It's already very clean."

Me: "No way! You didn't scan that, that, and that."

He: "I don't believe it, you can scan it again and show me."

I scanned it again, and sure enough, it was a pile of garbage.

"Look! The evidence is solid."

"Well, you are amazing."

I assigned him a new task. "You make lunch today!"

"Okay, you order."

"I want garlic broccoli."

"will not."

"Bacon mashed potatoes."

"will not."

"Fish-flavored shredded pork."

"will not."

"Then what will you do?"

"Scrambled eggs with tomatoes."

"..., besides this?"

"Tomato and egg soup."

"..."

I helped him prepare all the ingredients, and I told him: "Be careful not to cut your hands. Cut the tomatoes thicker. Wait until the oil is hot before putting them in the pan. Scramble the eggs first and then put the tomatoes."

He was very impatient, "I see you go out."

Within 10 minutes of going out, I heard him yelling, "Come in quickly."

As soon as he opened the kitchen door, he was so smoked that he couldn't open his eyes. He didn't turn on the range hood (probably not), and the things in the pot were so black that they couldn't see the original appearance. Even with soy sauce, it still smells like vinegar!
"How could it be blurred?" He asked me very innocently.

I suddenly broke down: "You didn't put any oil in the pot ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!"

I swore I would never ask him to cook again! ! !

013
I couldn't get a taxi when I went out in the morning, so I pestered Mr. F to take me to work, he mercifully agreed, this guy was in a good mood along the way, humming a little song while driving, I listened carefully, this guy actually hummed "" I will send you away, thousands of miles away..."

So how badly does he want me out?

014
Going to eat barbecue, the waiter at our table has long eyelashes and bright eyes. I stared at it for a long time, and the little boy's face turned red. He should be silently cursing me, this strange aunt.

Under my scorching gaze, the little boy shook his hand when changing the furnace wall, and the grilled shrimp fell to the ground. He gave me an apologetic look. I am shrimp."

Mr. F couldn't stand it anymore, "You are enough."

The little boy breathed a sigh of relief, and was about to run away, when F calmly called him, "You pay me."

015
Sitting with him in McDonald's, a couple of high school students on the opposite side have been kissing. Our old couple stared at the young couple for 10 minutes.
Someone rolled his eyes and said, "If my daughter drags her back, she will be beaten."

I said: "What do you know, this is called a hero born a teenager, and he is so skillful in picking up girls. If my son goes back to dinner, he will add an egg."

Someone was so angry that he dragged me home and beat me up.

016
When we fell in love, we were late for a date, and he wanted to take me home. I felt sorry for him and tossed back and forth, waved his hand and said very boldly: "Don't worry, the biggest gangster in a radius of ten miles is me."

I just said this casually, and this guy is still interested, and keeps teasing me about it.He went to Shanghai last week, and I went shopping with my best friend, and he called me specifically to tell me.

"Stop shopping, go home early."

"I know, I know, don't worry about me."

"I'm not worried about you, I'm worried about the hooligans around ten miles away." He said slowly.

017
There is another stalk about hooligans.When an unfamiliar person asked us how we got together, he was impatient to explain and simply said: "I met a hooligan."

The other party asked if Joe met a gangster and then you were a hero to save the beauty?He didn't say yes, and he didn't say no, he waited for the other party to make up his mind.I rolled my eyes beside me.When he got home, he asked me intentionally with a smile: "Should I tell them that I was actually the one who met the hooligan?"

This man is really naive sometimes.

(End of this chapter)