see you in spring

Chapter 194 Superimposed Disappointment [-]

No one expected that my youngest son would have a high fever every day and stay in the hospital for a week.

Sun Yan also stayed in the hospital with her son for more than a week.

When she was discharged from the hospital, Sun Yan had already spent a negative amount of money, so she borrowed some more from Gu Yu and Jia Lie, which was enough to complete the discharge procedures for her son.

Back home, when Sun Yan took a shower, she found that her ribs in the mirror had been clearly defined.In the nearly ten days since her son was hospitalized, she also lost nearly ten pounds.The person who was originally thin now has protruding cheekbones on both sides of his face and sunken eyes. He is afraid when he looks in the mirror at night.

This is not the most uncomfortable thing for her. The most uncomfortable thing is that when she wiped the body of her youngest son, she saw that her son's hands, feet, and even his forehead could not find a complete piece of good skin, which was full of needles. It hurt so much that I picked it up.

In the hospital, she watched her son cry heartbrokenly while getting an injection. She could only hold him down or hold him tightly, wishing she could bear this pain for her son.Every time at this time, she complained more to Liu Quantao.If it weren't for his carelessness, his son would not have caught a cold, let alone suffer from it.

Of course Liu Quantao understood that this incident happened because of him.When Sun Yan was hospitalized with his younger son, in addition to taking care of his older son at home, he also delivered meals to the hospital three times a day.

Even if Sun Yan said that there was a cafeteria in the hospital where he could get food and asked him not to bring more food, he would still deliver it.

Sun Yan kept a dark face when she returned home and did not talk to Liu Quantao.

Liu Quantao knew that she was angry. He changed his previous attitude of going back to the house and closing the door as soon as she came back. Not only did he care about the children, but he also took the initiative to take over all the housework.

He felt guilty in his heart. When his younger son was hospitalized, he worried and blamed himself every day.After torturing myself with push-ups, I could still sleep for a few hours every night.Since his son fell ill, he slept for less than an hour every night.

He regretted his previous carelessness, and could also feel Sun Yan's anger and disgust of not wanting to look at him again.When he couldn't sleep these past few days, he stared at the ceiling all night long, and finally figured it out.

At this moment, if he still stood idly by or thought about walking away as before, he might really kill Sun Yan.If Sun Yan falls, then this family will be finished.

After he saw Sun Yan, who was so thin that she was out of shape, he became more and more sure of his idea.He wanted to leave before so that the three of them, mother and son, could live a better life.If his leaving would bring down this family, then he couldn't leave.

After thinking about it, Liu Quantao changed his previous reticence, became diligent with his words, and took more actions to make up for his mistakes.

But by this time, it was already too late for Sun Yan.

When she hoped that he could keep this home with her and work hard for this home and her children, he was stuck in his own world, unwilling to face everyone, let alone the real world.

She gave him time and trust.She used her actual actions to tell him that as long as they work together, the family will slowly get better.

But he refused to cooperate by being silent and closing himself off.She didn't know how he took care of the children at home. If he wasn't even willing to spend time taking care of the children, then he really had no value to her.

She no longer had any hope for him.

Since it's the same with him or without him, and if she's even more tired with him, then he might as well just leave, and she can still try to keep out of sight.

After both sons fell asleep, Sun Yan thought about her husband, and how she stopped working for ten days after just two days at work.Think of all the life-saving money spent on medical expenses.She was exhausted physically and mentally, and suddenly felt that life was meaningless.

Liu Quantao stared at the ceiling in bed for half the night. He really couldn't sleep, so he opened the door and walked out, thinking of getting through tomorrow's porridge first.

When he left the living room, he suddenly heard a low, suppressed cry coming from the bathroom.

He wanted to open the door and go in, but stopped when he was at the door.He knew Sun Yan was inside, and he also knew her grievances and bitterness at this time, but he couldn't go in to comfort her.

Perhaps at this time, not letting her see him would be the greatest comfort to her.

Liu Quantao turned his head silently and slowly returned to the room.

When Liu Quantao opened the door and came out in the morning, he saw Sun Yan lying on her back on the floor of the living room with her eyes closed.

He was so frightened that he quickly ran over to help her up.As soon as he got closer, he could smell the strong smell of liquor on her body.Looking again, not far from her hand, most of the bottle of Erguotou used for cooking had bottomed out.

He didn't sleep all night after returning to his room last night.He heard noises coming from the living room intermittently and knew that she was in the living room.He didn't dare to go out, so he could only stay in the house.He didn't expect that Sun Yan, who usually only drank one and a half bottles of beer, would drink Erguotou, which was close to [-] degrees Celsius.

Maybe she didn't want to wake up the child, so she kept drinking silently.He didn't hear much movement.

He didn't know how long she had been lying on the ground. The heating had long been turned off and it was cold at night. After drinking strong alcohol and sleeping on the floor, he was really afraid that something would happen to her while she slept.

He carried her to the sofa and found that even though she was 1.6 meters tall, she was not much heavier than his eldest son when he held her in his arms.

He held her thin, cold arms, and his heart shrank when he thought that she was supporting the family with these thin hands.

How confused was he before that he thought about throwing all the burdens here on her? !
He went to get his quilt to cover her, then reached out and touched her forehead. Fortunately, it was cold.

Sun Yan woke up at around two o'clock in the afternoon. The moment she opened her eyes, she had a splitting headache.

The curtains in the room have all been drawn, and the shadow of the sun is vaguely reflected on the curtains.

The voices of the two children occasionally leaked out from the crack in Liu Quantao's closed door, as if they were watching some movie.Then Liu Quantao said "boo".

Sun Yan rubbed her temples and slowly recalled what happened last night.But I can't remember it.

The only thing she still remembered was that she felt like a drowning person when she cried so much that she had a headache and tinnitus.She knew that she could hardly survive this kind of life, but she couldn't call for help at all.All her struggles were silent and could not even stir up a splash of water.

She urgently needs to save herself, and in this family, the only thing that can temporarily save her from the sea of ​​suffering is the bottle of Erguotou.

She got herself drunk hard, and when she woke up, she found that she still had to live her life.

Sun Yan's mouth was dry. She turned around and saw a glass of boiled water on the coffee table. She supported the sofa, stood up with difficulty, picked up the water on the coffee table, and drank it in one gulp.

The moment I put down the glass, tears came out again.

She hadn't been this drunk in years.She remembers that when she graduated in her 20s, she also got drunk in the sad atmosphere before leaving school.

But no one thought she was ugly at that time. Liu Quantao even told her later that she was cute and pitiful at that time.

Now that she is drunk in her 30s, she has lost her cuteness and is only pitiful.

She remembers that when she graduated from college, she still had a bright future.She is an outstanding graduate of the school and got a job offer in a joint venture. She has a stable relationship and everything looks so beautiful.

Why ten years later, she would get so mixed up that she would ask someone to borrow money even to see a doctor for her son?
She gave up her career for the sake of her family and her children. Is this wrong?Why did she become the useless person in the end?
She chose her own husband, but Liu Quantao had failed to do a lot of things over the years.She also knows that there is no perfect husband in the world, and even if there is one, it is not her turn.

Their relationship, like most couples, went from passionate to dull.

To sum up the past ten years, taking the life after giving birth as a dividing line, there is more distress than joy, and more anxiety than peace.But more often than not, it is hope amid disappointment.

It was these tiny hopes that kept her going until now.

Waking up from her dream in the middle of the night, she knew that this was not the marriage and life she wanted.After experiencing these things, she became more and more certain that she didn't want to live like this anymore.But looking back at the surroundings and looking at the emotional documentary interviews on TV, we can see how many people are like her, living a miserable life, and some are even worse than her.

With comparison, it was less difficult for her to accept the status quo.

After all, for middle-aged people, the division of any relationship is very painful.What's more, she doesn't want her children to bear the consequences of their relationship breaking up.

This is probably the embarrassment of every ordinary person like her who is struggling in a big city.

When facing a decision in life, you have to weigh it first: is it worth it, is it possible?

(End of this chapter)