Abyss of ignorance

Chapter 127 Luck
"You, what do you know?!" Lin Zhongyue was so enraged that he couldn't even speak, "I'm only 13 years old! I've become an orphan! What were you doing when you were 13 years old? Woolen cloth!"

"Okay, okay, what's the matter with you guys? It's getting farther and farther away." Mama Lin tried to persuade the fight, but it was obviously to no avail.

"You doubted it, didn't you?" Lin Xiaodong refused to back down, "Dad, he may be alive and well, but he didn't come back to find you or us. It's not impossible. You have to tell me what you know. Tell me, don't hide any more. You also said, I am already 30 years old, you have to trust your son!"

"It's not that I don't believe in you, it's that I don't believe in myself!" Lin Zhongyue said with a trembling voice, "Do you know what a 13-year-old child will think after losing all his relatives? He will doubt himself, whether he is not enough Well, I suspect that all misfortunes come from myself, I suspect that all luck should not belong to me, and I feel uneasy about everything in life, like walking on eggshells!"

Seeing Lin Zhongyue's excited expression, Lin Xiaodong said calmly, "Dad, what do you want to say?"

Lin Zhongyue sat down slowly, and murmured: "What happened recently? Why do you force me to repeat the things that have passed!"

Lin Xiaodong sat opposite him, leaning forward, facing Lin Zhongyue, as if he was facing those witnesses who were full of worries, he patiently comforted him: "Dad, first of all, no one should feel guilty for the misfortune they have encountered. You didn't do anything. Wrong about anything. I know it's not easy to do. Do you remember how I answered you when you asked me why I wanted to be a cop?"

The anger in Lin Zhongyue's eyes gradually dissipated, leaving only endless sadness. He looked at Lin Xiaodong with a complicated expression.His incomprehension of Lin Xiaodong's sudden resignation and the comfort of feeling that his son could be relied on for the first time were intertwined and inseparable.

"I remember." Lin Zhongyue's voice seemed to have aged a lot, "You said, you love truth and justice."

"It's been so many years, you still remember."

"You have been a child who likes to ask questions since you were a child. The police industry is very suitable for you. It's a pity..."

"I told you that I love the truth and justice, but in fact it is because I can't get the answer, which will always give me great anxiety. If the anxiety is not eliminated, it will replicate and spread in my heart like a virus, leaving me without There is no way to look at the world objectively. Dad, I am your son, and I understand how you feel. The source of all your pain is because of what happened back then, and there are still puzzles that have not been solved. Your intuition cannot deceive you The only solution is to find out those unresolved matters and solve them. So, let me work with you to end your demons and anxiety." Lin Xiaodong said and put his hands on Lin Zhongyue's shoulders.

Lin Xiaodong's palms were thick and warm, which made Lin Zhongyue feel a sense of security that he didn't have before. He took a deep breath: "I have never told anyone. For a long time, I believe that my father is still with me. around, but that's not to say I believe he's still alive.

But I think he is still in the world, is it a ghost, a soul or a god?I have no idea. At 13, I didn't know what to believe in. "

"You didn't imagine it yourself, but you have a basis, right?"

Lin Zhongyue nodded: "I dare not tell others, I am afraid that others will say that I am strange, that I am crazy. This is the first time I feel this way, because I was bullied by people in school. I am different from my brother. , My aptitude is mediocre, I know it myself, and I am timid. After the family members passed away, there were those bad kids who said I was unlucky and overcame the family members to death. They would chase me and beat me. I dare not fight back, only dare to hide Cry in a corner where no one is around.

Not long after, the child who took the lead in bullying me drowned.Right in the school pool.It was an accident, and everyone said that the child accidentally fell into it mischievously.But I don't think there's any way I can separate his death from mine.

If it was a coincidence, then I have no way to explain those things later on. I, a person with mediocre grades and not even a middle-level student, suddenly became the focus of all teachers in high school. Even my name is often mispronounced, and suddenly I start to click my name, as if I want to find out what I look like, point-to-point tutoring and so on.Later I found out that it was the headmaster of the school who suddenly started to care about my situation, but no one knew why he did this...it's a pity..." Lin Zhongyue smiled wryly at this point, "My ability and level are just a helper. Great adou, no matter how much I tutored, I only got a few points, and I didn't get into the undergraduate course.

Oddly enough, my luck has never been broken.At that time, Linzhou’s public institutions recruited junior college students in the last year, and the written test was so-so and barely passed the interview. At the time of the interview, I was a stupid person, so I thought it was the same.I didn't have any hope myself.Sure enough, when the results came out, one of the three people was selected, and I was the last one, but I didn't expect that when the first two gave up, I successfully entered the unit as a substitute, and worked for the rest of my life.

These are all big things, and there are many things that I can't remember clearly, which always make me feel strange sometimes, but there is nothing to explain.I can only feel that your grandpa is the spirit in the sky, always by my side. "

"Dad, I have a question. Why do you always think it's grandpa, not grandma or uncle?" Lin Xiaodong asked a question that Lin Zhongyue had never thought about.

Lin Zhongyue was stopped by the question, he thought about it seriously, and after a while he said: "Probably because of these things, if they are still alive, it is more like what my father would do. Your grandma is soft-hearted and timid. If you want to say Like, I'm more like your grandma. Your grandpa is different, although he is a barefoot doctor, he usually doesn't seem to talk much, but he has a quick temper and is so vicious that no one dares to provoke him."

"Wait! Dad, you said that grandpa used to be a barefoot doctor?" Lin Xiaodong suddenly became alert.

Lin Zhongyue looked strange: "Yes, Linzhou was not so big in the past. There were only decent hospitals in the city. Now many places used to be rural areas. Your grandfather has no chance to go to a serious university, but he is smart and has a good mind. He is groping for himself. Clinics were also opened.

Alas, it is also because of this. When my brother was first diagnosed, your grandma cried and beat your grandfather, asking him why he didn't find out about his son's illness even though he was a doctor. "

(End of this chapter)