Roaming in the dark

Chapter 175 I just guessed

"I guessed wildly."

Guo Shuang's blurted interrogative sentence dispelled the tense atmosphere between the two people. Sheng Chuncheng felt a little calmer. He slowed down his tone and continued to say to Guo Shuang:

"I guess you should be very beautiful and smart. You were the kind of child from other people's family who was doted on by parents and teachers since you were a child. You are very proud, but you are also very fragile. You are afraid of being caught up by others. Teachers and parents Compliments put a lot of pressure on you, and you put even more pressure on yourself.

"While insisting on being excellent, you often doubt your own ability and think whether you are so good. This makes you worry about gains and losses, and cares about your image in the eyes of others. In the current words, it means that you have an acting personality, that is..."

"A dramatist and a green bitch, right?" Guo Shuang snorted and asked.

"No, dramatists and green whores are consciously performed. In order to achieve a certain purpose, you have no purpose, and it will be revealed naturally. It can be said that you are naturally developed, and dramatists and green whores , still different." Sheng Chuncheng said.

The light show in Qianjiang New City on the opposite side of the river started. Those bright and constantly changing lights were instantly weakened on the lenses of Sheng Chuncheng's sunglasses. They were no longer colorful, but turned into countless black shadows, shaking Coming and going, making people unpredictable.

When Sheng Chuncheng was talking, Guo Shuang looked at him without taking his eyes off it. It was because he was blind that she looked at him so presumptuously and unscrupulously. Otherwise, her pride made her somewhat restrained.

Guo Shuang felt that he really underestimated this blind person. Blind people, don’t they just give people massages, or they squat wretchedly on the side of the road like in movies and TV shows, or walk around villages and households under a big cover to tell fortunes for others? Yes, I didn't expect this blind man to really hit himself when he opened his mouth. Moreover, he was very angry.

Thinking of Sheng Chuncheng's temper, Guo Shuang couldn't help laughing, and then thought, his temper is bad enough, he didn't expect to meet his opponent today.

Guo Shuang actually knows that her temper is very stinky. Many times, she hates herself when she stinks. She hates herself as soon as she speaks. Because of this, she is a patient.

Regarding the fact that she is a patient, Guo Shuang is actually very anxious. When she is alone, she often goes to Baidu to compare her symptoms one by one.

Every time her parents took her to Shanghai to see Dr. Qin, she seemed indifferent, but in fact, she listened hard to every word the doctor said, and remembered it in her heart. When she returned home, the medicine she should take, She always takes it on time too.

She herself really wanted to get better from her illness, the miraculous method that the illness would disappear when she woke up, but every time, she just couldn't control herself, she felt that sometimes, like a A match, it ignites at one point, no, no, it's like a firecracker, it explodes at one point, and sometimes it's like a popsicle, watching myself slam (melt) bit by bit, but there is no way.

Every time when she fell ill, Guo Shuang knew that her brain was locked up. She really wanted not to get stuck, and wanted to resolve herself, but she was powerless, and then because of her powerlessness, she panicked and felt that she was His whole life is over, and he is an incurable lunatic.

Thinking that she is an incurable lunatic, she can't do anything, and she finds it unpleasant to look at anyone, especially her mother. She wants to stab her constantly. Why does she look so similar to her? , but she is fine, there is nothing wrong with her, and she wants to turn herself into a lunatic, who is not to blame?

"Any more?" Guo Shuang asked.

Sheng Chuncheng said: "Yes, of course, when you were in Hangzhou school, everyone thought you were excellent, and you also thought you were excellent, but when you arrived at the university, you found that there was no one in the class who was not outstanding. , Those classmates are even better than you. The feeling that you stand out from the crowd is gone all at once. Among this group of people, you are nothing at all.

"At this time, you were hit hard and felt that your previous life was a deception, a deception that was carefully drawn around you, and this deception was suddenly punctured now, making you reveal your original shape. It turns out that you are an ordinary person .

"You used to work so hard and put in so much effort to maintain your own personality. In the eyes of others, it is worthless at all, and no one fucks you. In your own eyes, it collapsed. At this time, you are not doubting yourself, Instead, I loathe all of this, and have a deep sense of disillusionment..."

When Sheng Chuncheng said this, he was actually talking about himself. However, his disillusionment with himself did not start in college, but in high school.

When Sheng Chuncheng was in junior high school in the village, his grades were always the first in his grade, and he had never been surpassed. His teachers said he was a top student and a genius, and he himself thought he was a top student and a genius.

Dad entrusted his relationship and got him into Qiandao Lake to study in high school. When Sheng Chuncheng went there, he went with the idea that he was going to save that school. Don't let that school flourish?
Unexpectedly, after the start of school, Sheng Chuncheng was dumbfounded. He found that this school was full of top students and geniuses. In the first math test, Sheng Chuncheng only took the bottom No. 5, which he felt was a great shame. A top student has fallen into a scumbag.

He himself didn't believe his score, thinking that the teacher made a mistake in grading the paper, but after checking the correct answer, he found out that he was wrong.

He also discovered a fatal problem, that is, the set of problem-solving ideas he trained in the township middle school was completely wrong. He, a top student, was planted by the township middle school by mistake.

The results of the next few exams in other courses did not change at all. No matter how hard Sheng Chuncheng tried, his grades were always in the bottom ten of the class, which can be said to be a complete defeat. This made Sheng Chuncheng Completely desperate, with a deep sense of disillusionment.

In the three years of high school, he spent almost ignorantly, constantly self-doubting and self-denying, until finally he was admitted to a bad university.

Looking back now, Sheng Chuncheng felt that he could work hard at the beginning. He didn't learn well in the village, even if he was hit in the head, as long as he stayed in high school for three years, he could still catch up. No matter how hard you try, that's why Sheng Chuncheng was anxious when he heard that Chunni was also on his own path.

He felt that Guo Shuang was like this too. After being disillusioned, he embarked on a path of self-destruction.

At that time, Sheng Chuncheng gave up on himself. Another reason was that he felt that he had a way out. Anyway, his parents had already bought him a house in Qiandao Lake, and there was a minibus at home. Driving a minibus, being a native of Qiandao Lake is not bad, but so many people from Hangzhou and Shanghai have to go to Qiandao Lake to buy a house.

Unexpectedly, if something happened to his parents, all of this would be wiped out, and he had already become ashes, no matter how disillusioned he was, there was nothing left to be wiped out.

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(End of this chapter)