I really don't want to be a magical girl anymore

Chapter 43【】The sun rises (third update)
Eight years ago.

The year before Zuo Cang chose to retire as a magical girl.

That year, Zuo Cang was 17 years old and Zuo Yue was [-] years old.

November, eleventh.

That night, Zuo Cang, who was still a sophomore in high school, was doing evening self-study, concentrating on studying the math problems assigned by the teacher.

Suddenly, he received a call from the hospital saying that his parents had been involved in a car accident and died on the spot.

A thunderbolt destroyed all of Zuo Cang's psychological defenses.

On one side is the bad news of the parents, and on the other side is the ignorant younger sister.

Zuo Cang no longer knew whether he should tell Zuo Yue these things.

For several years after that, Zuo Cang kept lying to his younger sister, that his parents had gone to work abroad, and when they returned home during the Chinese New Year, his younger sister was already asleep, so he didn't see him.

On the night of the New Year's Eve, the square outside the window is full of fireworks, and the children's laughter and the clamor of beating gongs and drums can be heard.

The deserted two sat at home and ate a table full of New Year's Eve dinner.

The young Zuo Yue still asked with big eyes like water, why did she cook so much food.

Zuo Cang just said.

This is for mom and dad. When they come home from abroad during the Chinese New Year, they will definitely be hungry.

He also said, let Zuo Yue go to bed early, children can't stay up late, otherwise they won't grow taller.

In fact, Zuo Cang didn't know that Zuo Yue waited all night and didn't hear the sound of her parents coming home and opening the door. She just saw her brother sitting at the door with his legs wrapped around his knees through the crack of the door, constantly choking up, but still trying to suppress it Voice, I don't want Zuo Yue to hear the crying.

Early in the morning.

Zuo Cang said with a smile on his face, New Year's greetings are coming, so parents went out early, this is the red envelope they left for Zuo Yue.

In fact, Zuo Yue knew everything.

In fact, Zuo Yue can't say anything.

She knew her brother would be sad.

Therefore, Zuo Yue also smiled, accepted the red envelope, and nodded vigorously, she didn't want to ask anything anymore.

The young Zuo Yue obviously didn't have much memory about her mother, and she only knew what kind of person her mother was through photos, videos and elder brother's narration.

Chen Xuexin.

A very gentle, kind woman with two dimples on her face when she smiles.

The only remaining group photo of the mother and daughter is a family photo taken when the family went hiking.

Chen Xuexin picked up Zuo Yue who was a baby, her eyes were not facing the camera, she just looked at Zuo Yue who had fallen into a daze with kind eyes.

She smiled very sweetly.

Zuo Yue always imagines how happy she would be if her mother was still alive.

Adolescence is a sentimental age.

After experiencing life and death, girls will be more sensitive in this regard.

So, when Zuo Yue talked about her dreaming about her mother, Zuo Cang didn't say anything.

Just lying quietly beside Zuo Yue, reaching out to firmly grasp Zuo Yue's little hand.

Zuo Cang no longer wants to lose his relatives, nor does he want to let go of his sister's hand.

He looked up at the lonely ceiling.

Silent for a long time.

After thinking about it for a long time, I feel that it is better not to mention the topic of relatives.

Zuo Cang asked: "Did Miyou tell you something that reminded you of bad memories? Don't worry, brother will deduct his future snacks. This big mouse will never want to eat potato chips again." gone."

"I……"

Zuo Yue wavered and struggled repeatedly, and finally she shook her head and said: "Miyou didn't say anything, it just told me that the future battle may be to face magical girls."

Zuo Yue didn't say, but this kind of battle is bound to kill people, either by himself or by the enemy.

Miyou doesn't know if Zuo Yue is ready to kill people or not. This is to vaccinate Zuo Yue in advance. This intention and starting point are good.

It's just that Miyou didn't expect that this would touch on the most taboo topic in Zuo Yue's heart.

Zuo Yue didn't want to kill anyone, didn't want to end someone's life with her own hands.

There must be a way to solve the problem without killing people in the world.

In fact, Zuo Yue also understands that this kind of thing is difficult to achieve.

Zuo Cang knew his sister too well, seeing her hesitation, he knew that things were not that simple.

Just fighting a magical girl can make her uneasy?

There must be something else left unsaid.

"You have gained this power, so you have to bear its responsibility. I don't want you to be exposed to this, but I don't want you to understand the cruelty of reality."

At this time, Zuo Cang somewhat understood what Zuo Yue was worrying about, and he said freely: "The so-called kindness and kindness have goals, not everyone can deal with it with a kind attitude, otherwise this is the indulgence of sin You forgive the wicked, so who will forgive the innocent who died because of the wicked? Justice is never fair. It is precisely because of this that we must uphold justice for the unjustly killed and let the criminals who killed them pay the due price. That’s what keeps us going forward.”

After the silence, Zuo Yue replied.

"Sure enough, I can't be as dazzling as you, brother..."

"What are you talking about, I am very ordinary. After you chose to become a magical girl, you have become the most dazzling person. But I am just an ordinary person, and I am just your brother, that's all."

"But……"

Zuo Yue's conscience is being tortured.

"Once a magical girl's hands are stained with blood, is she still qualified to act for justice..."

Zuo Yue choked up the troubles in her heart and expressed it to her brother.

Seeing that his younger sister's tears had already wet the sheets, Zuo Cang knew that he had to find a way to comfort her.

Whether he is an elder brother in life or a senior in battle, Zuo Cang has the obligation to guide Zuo Yue to the right path, and not to go astray because of some setbacks.

but.

This is also a question that Zuo Cang has been thinking about for a long time.

How can he teach Zuo Yue if he hasn't found the answer himself?
Is it necessary to forcibly skip this topic, so that Zuo Yue will suffer the same torture in the future?
Zuo Cang definitely didn't want to do this.

He had to think of an answer.

silence.

The two lay sideways on the bed and looked at each other, trying to read something from their complicated expressions.

It was Zuo Cang who opened the mouth first: "If... if the situation is special and it is a last resort, you have to do it. If you don't kill him, he will kill you. Killing people is inevitable. Fighting is like this Cruel, you need to accept this. Killing one person can save more people, we must make this choice."

Majority and Minority.

The most classic trolley puzzle,
To save the many and sacrifice the few is justice.

Therefore, Zuo Cang in the past has always used this excuse to comfort himself.

The magical girl Cang Yan beheaded and killed all the witches who were fiercely resisting. In the end, she was soaked in blood. She couldn't wash off the bloody smell on her body with various soaps, shower gels, and washing powder. Cursed memories stuck to his skin. It has become a sin that I have to bear in this life.

However, who defines the value of the minority and the majority?
If Zuo Cang is asked to make a choice again, Zuo Yue is the minority, and a thousand kidnapped ordinary people are the majority.

Can Zuo Cang make the act of sacrificing Zuo Yue to save unrelated people?
This exchange requires no thinking at all, and the answer can be blurted out.

Sorry, Zuo Cang can't do it.

So, is the act of sacrificing the few to save the many really in line with "justice"?
He looked at his brother with an extremely painful expression.

Even though Zuo Yue didn't know what her brother was thinking, she moved her body, moved to Zuo Cang's side, and stretched out her arms to hug her brother.

The identities of the comforter and the comforted have been reversed.

Zuo Cang continued: "So, I often wonder if there is another way, a way that can achieve the best of both worlds, a way that can save everyone without hurting anyone."

He gritted his teeth and clenched his fists, strong emotions welling up in his heart.

"Unfortunately... I can't get an answer right now..."

Zuo Cang really hated himself for being helpless, and he remembered what the Queen of the Shadow Kingdom said to him, he was afraid, afraid, so he never got out of the shadows...

Can't let it go, can't throw it away.

In fact, in the final analysis, it is still the lack of one's own strength. If one's own strength can crush the audience, the problem will be easily solved.

What is the choice of the majority and the minority, what is the bullshit trolley problem.

Why can't I have it all?Do you have to obey this rubbish rule?
In the same way, as long as you can blow up everyone, you can also intimidate others with absolute strength, so that the witches will give up resistance and dare not act rashly. What extra thoughts are there?

Even, to exaggerate, an idea to stop time, any resistance, any desperate fight, wouldn't it become a joke?
Suddenly, it suddenly became clear.

Zuo Cang seemed to have opened a strange door.

From this, the picture scroll of the new world unfolds to Zuo Cang.

The pitch-black obstacle that was originally insurmountable in front of him suddenly became much lower, as if he could step over it by raising his leg.

"Maybe we can't perfectly solve all the problems in the world, at least we shouldn't sit still in front of the problems. Instead of immersing in the shadow of the past, it is better to have the courage to face the reality, and the future will continue until we no longer need to entangle these .”

When the train arrives at the destination, the magical girl Cang Yan will step forward to the battlefield, I will conquer everyone, and I will end the disaster.

"Kindness and kindness are based on absolute strength."

What Zuo Cang said was to Zuo Yue, and also to himself.

Avoidance will never solve the problem, only face it, knock it down, and overcome it.

Dark clouds cover the sun, just for a moment.

The Sun Also Rises.

Although the world will not change, at least solar energy warms and illuminates people, providing light to the world, so that people are no longer afraid of darkness and cold.

The inner demon needs to figure it out by himself, and once he has figured out the key points, the seemingly invincible haze will continue to fall like dominoes.

Zuo Cang had some changes in his heart.

The filth and impurities in the pure white heart were eliminated little by little.

Although Zuo Yue couldn't quite understand what her brother was saying, at least the firm tone infected Zuo Yue.

Now that I have power as a magical girl, it's my turn to protect my brother.

At this moment, the brother and sister have more or less let go of the knots that bother them, and the relationship between the two seems to be back to the beginning.

Zuo Yue no longer frowns, a sweet smile hangs on the corner of her mouth, she directly laughs and slips into her brother's arms, she wants to act coquettishly for a long time.

"Don't make trouble, since you want to open it, go back to your room and sleep."

Zuo Cang rubbed his brows and let out a long sigh, ready to forcefully push Zuo Yue down.

"No, I'm going to have nightmares by myself."

In recent days, Zuo Yue has been terrified.

During this period of time, she was making more troubles for herself, always thinking too much in her heart, and always couldn't figure it out, making things difficult for herself for no reason.

Now that she has a reason to be honest with her brother and not use other excuses, how could Zuo Yue give up.

"You have finished the exam and you don't need to go to class anymore, but I still have a lot of work to do tomorrow."

Zuo Cang sat up, took Zuo Yue's arm, and forcibly lifted her up.

But Zuo Yue was as if she had no bones, her body was extraordinarily soft, like a puddle of shapeless water, quickly slipping down again.

Zuo Yue also dubbed her actions.

"Gollum..."

"Tell me, what else is there?"

Seeing Zuo Yue's deliberately funny look, Zuo Cang knew that he couldn't do anything to her for a while.

Headache.

Zuo Cang said: "Let me guess. Do you want to say that your school is going to celebrate its [-]th anniversary?"

"Wait, brother? How do you know so clearly? I obviously took it as a surprise."

Zuo Yue, who originally planned to hide it for a while, suddenly jumped up with a face full of surprise.

She was bouncing on the bed.

"Nonsense, your class teacher told me in advance. He said that he didn't have too many plans. But the principal slapped his thigh, and had a whim, and came up with an idea, saying that Xinmu City had suffered such a catastrophe recently, and it just so happened No. [-] Middle School is celebrating its [-]th anniversary, so let’s make it more lively and let the whole country see Xinmu City’s tenacious vitality. These days, you have been sneaking in with your classmates to discuss activities, don’t you think that You can hide it from me with your little actions."

"Heh heh heh, what program will there be on the school celebration? You definitely don't know."

Humming a ditty, Zuo Yue lay back on the bed, pulled up the quilt from the foot of the bed, wrapped herself up, and approached Zuo Cang in the posture of a caterpillar.

Zuo Yue, who had regained her spirits, returned to her nature as a savage and willful child.

Zuo Cang was both happy and worried, sighed helplessly, shook his head, really didn't know how to deal with it.

"How could I not know, you were almost amused to death by your own cold jokes in your room tonight. The laughter is louder than ever."

As he said that, Zuo Cang repeated the homophonic cold joke that Zuo Yue said at night.

"Miyou, MIO. So it's Romeo, Luo MIO. Ye Miho, so it's Julie 'Ye'."

Putting together these clues, Zuo Cang gave the answer

"The show in your class is likely to be the classic drama Romeo and Juliet."

"Oh? How do you know so much? Is there any surprise left?"

This time it was Zuo Yue's turn to be confused, she shook her body and kept complaining.

She sneaked up again and asked in a low voice: "Am I laughing really loudly?"

"very loud."

Zuo Cang nodded indifferently.

　Weakly ask, is there a reward from Brother Fu for me to continue adding updates tomorrow, today is [-], do you want to continue tomorrow?

　　
　
(End of this chapter)