Get off work and become a magical girl

Chapter 43 The Privilege Named "Willful"
The matter of "becoming a magical girl" was like a ray of light that shone into Xia Liang's original life, allowing her to find a way out to save herself.

So much so that she chose to agree without any hesitation, without even thinking about whether she had to pay anything.

"Because for me, for the first time in years, I felt needed."

Looking at the delphinium, Xia Liang's eyes flickered slightly: "I was very lucky, I was invited by Xiaolu and seniors at that time, and being able to become a magical girl was a very pleasant surprise to me, like a dreamlike experience. "

"Then, why do you feel troubled now?" Delphinium nodded and continued to ask questions while remaining calm.However, after hearing the "story" from Xia Liang's mouth, her heart was far less calm than it appeared on the surface.

The reason why she didn't comfort her immediately was because she knew very well that Xia Liang must have been honed in her character to be able to maintain her current behavior from the past to today, instead of being completely swallowed up by past experiences and gloomy life. .What she needs is not "sympathy".

She told the story to herself, not to solicit such useless affection.Compassion is the most frivolous and irresponsible form of cheap kindness when it comes to personal suffering.

If she didn't know Xia Liangsu and just learned about a tragedy in the social news, she would express her sympathy without hesitation; The magical girl selected by the team is a child who really exists in front of her and is waiting to be guided. She has to help the other party effectively.

"Why are you still bothered? To be honest, I am also very confused about my current relationship."

Answering Delphinium's words, Xia Liang couldn't help touching her chest lightly, her expression blank: "I definitely feel happy, this month's life is more meaningful than my previous year, but this feeling of emptiness Where did it come from?"

...Probably the essence is still "loneliness"?

Delphinium was silent, but made a judgment in her heart.

Put yourself in her shoes, if she were in Xia Liang's position, living alone in this room that carries both happy and unfortunate memories.After working as a magical girl every day, I still have to face loneliness when I come back.Thinking about it, she would also feel lonely.

That being the case, she knew what she should say.

"Xiao Jin."

After contemplating and organizing his words, Delphinium said, "What kind of feelings do you have for your mother now?"

Undoubtedly, the most influential person in Xia Liang's growth process was her biological mother.However, the concept of "being a good boy" instilled in him by his biological mother has in turn led to Xia Liang's doubts about himself now.

Delphinium thought that he might not be able to eradicate the influence of this idea on Xia Liang with a few words, but at least he had to tell her what was right.

"My mother? To be honest, I don't know."

Thinking about delphinium's question, Xia Liang lowered her head blankly: "Maybe I still have some memories of her? That's why I always wanted to ask her for an answer, but after that, no matter how many times she went to prison, she never gave up. Willing to see me."

"Well, let me take the liberty."

Changing her posture to sitting upright, Delphinium looked at Xia Liang solemnly: "I think what Ni's mother said is wrong."

"...a lot of people have said that to me."

Xia Liang raised her head and said with a dry smile, "But no one has ever explained why, what do you think, senior?"

"Because there is no causal relationship between 'behaved' and 'being loved'." Delphinium looked cold, but her tone was very serious.

This is what she has to help Xia Liang sort out her thoughts, and let her recognize the difference between the two.

"Haha, that's true. Even though it's at this level, I've actually thought of it a long time ago."

After being stunned for a moment, Xia Liang said bitterly: "I actually know, but being obedient is useless. If I could stand up earlier before that day, maybe I wouldn't have to become a child without a home? To put it bluntly, then I was just always self-satisfied and self-comforting.”

"People's hearts are inherently complicated, so don't blame yourself for this kind of thing, you have done a good job."

Shaking her head, Delphinium interrupted her self-pity: "Besides, what I want to say is that there is nothing wrong with being well-behaved, and well-behaved children should be praised and praised. But at the same time, 'willfulness' is actually a child's fault." privilege."

"Willful?" Xia Liang was stunned for a moment.

"Willful." Delphinium calmly affirmed.

Opening her eyes slightly, Xia Liang was puzzled and said, "However, being self-willed will definitely be annoyed by adults, and then you will be hated, right?"

"It's because you imagine adults too one-sidedly."

Delphinium pressed down with one hand, signaling her to listen patiently: "It's true that self-willedness will be annoying to people all the time, but proper self-willedness is actually a kind of flattery. It's better to say that this is a way of acting like a baby."

"Eh?" Xia Liang was shocked, "Even if you say that..."

"Children who are too well-behaved, because they are completely incapable of willfulness and cannot express their desires, appear too perfect and idealized, but will make rotten adults feel their own incompetence."

Lowering her eyes, Delphinium slowly explained: "In front of such a sensible child, I don't feel like a competent adult at all, and even need children to coax me, as if I am a completely ignorant child. "

"It's okay if you are an ordinary parent, and you will reflect on whether you have any shortcomings; but if you are a person whose heart has been completely darkened, you will only be alienated, repelled, and even bored with such a child."

"Let me make wild guesses, your mother must have felt like this in the end. When you try to comfort her, it will stimulate her self-esteem instead."

"So you are actually not wrong. It is your mother who is not competent enough. When you were in the roles of mother and daughter respectively, she failed too much compared to you."

After delphinium finished speaking, she saw that Xia Liang was trying to understand, so she stopped talking and gave her a certain amount of time to digest.

Xia Liang was thinking over and over again, and found that she didn't know how to refute Delphinium.

"...In that case, what should I do?"

After a long silence, she whispered: "Even if I realize this now, I can't make up for it."

"I've already said that this is not your fault in itself, how can you make up for it?"

Feeling a little headache about Xia Liang's obsession with this matter, delphinium sighed: "If you really feel that you can't let it go, then store it well and look forward first."

Xia Liang remained silent, looking at her with some doubts.

"Like I said before, how about learning to be willful first?"

Delphinium's tone slowed down, and she raised her index finger: "It's not just to greet you with a smile, but to learn to be more selfish and think for yourself."

"This sounds a little difficult."

Xia Liang laughed along, showing embarrassment: "And even if I want to learn to be self-willed, how should I do it?"

"You can show your sincerity to your teammates: Bai Mei and me."

Delphinium turned her raised index finger to point at herself: "Even now, I am here."

"what?"

"I am an adult who can accept and tolerate willfulness, so you can use me as a target and try to say what you are usually suppressed in your heart. I will not hate you because of this kind of thing."

Delphinium gave an analysis indifferently: "Whether I think my teaching is harsh or my attitude is too cold, let me tell them first. Even if I may not accept it, it will definitely help us understand each other."

"Oh, it's amazing!"

Hearing such words, Xia Liang showed an expression called "worship" for the first time tonight, and even raised his tone a little: "Young senior, when you speak like this, you really look like an adult!"

"There is no 'like', I am already an adult, much older than you." Delphinium said with lowered eyelids.

"So, how should we start?" Seemingly ignoring Delphinium's words deliberately, Xia Liang, who had found a new target, began to think.

"Let's start with daily life, whether it's school or your magical girl companions, do you feel any dissatisfaction?" Delphinium offered her own suggestion.

"I feel……"

Xia Liang raised his gaze, and seemed to be thinking hard: "I feel like I've been squeezed out?"

"in school?"

"...No, it's in the team." Xia Liang stole a glance at Delphinium.

"Squad?"

After waiting for a few seconds to realize what Xia Liang meant, delphinium raised her eyebrows: "Squeeze out? Why do you feel this way?"

"Probably because Xiaolu is a bit biased, no, you are also biased, little senior?"

As if he had figured out something, Xia Liang clapped his hands and said with certainty: "Yes, you two are very biased!"

"Little senior, although you have always been indifferent to everyone, you always care more about Xiaolu; Xiaolu is even more extreme. You are so enthusiastic about you, junior, and you have always been fierce to me!"

Xia Liang's eyes widened, and she spoke faster: "Although I think she's funny like that, but it's always sad to be treated like this!"

Is it because you think it's "fun" to make her angry that you're so repelled?

Can't help but think like this in my heart, but didn't say this sentence, delphinium looked at Xia Liang inexplicably, thought about her words, and agreed with her thoughts:

"Baimei and I got to know each other earlier, so we are indeed more familiar with each other."

"I don't think that's the reason. The degree of mutual concern between you and Xiaolu is definitely not that simple."

It was rare to show some dissatisfied expression: Xia Liang frowned: "Xiao Lu said that you saved her, so she admires you very much. What about you, senior? You said that you are an adult and a mature magical girl. Lu also said before that her father seems to be planning to add a new string..."

Speaking of this, Xia Liang seemed to realize something, and covered her mouth in horror.

But it was obviously too late to do this again at this time, delphinium had already moved in front of her in three steps in two, and gave her a hard blow to the brain.

"It hurts!" Xia Liang screamed.

"Casual slander does not belong to the category of 'capriciousness', and there is a price to be paid for talking nonsense."

Delphinium sat back on the sofa, embracing her hands: "This is a warning, it didn't take much effort, and it might not happen next time."

"Don't dare next time." Xia Liang clutched her forehead.

"In short, I admit that the problem you mentioned exists, so what do you want?"

Bringing the topic back to the original track, Delphinium then asked: "To learn to be willful, you must first face your true thoughts. You think I am biased, so how do you want me to change?"

"let me see……"

Xia Liang thought about it and answered, "Ask me if you have any questions in class? Don't just ask Xiaolu?"

"I'll pay attention." Delphinium nodded.

"Then, don't always be the last to notify me when you find a remnant beast!"

"……Feel sorry."

"During the study session just now, I actually still had a lot of things I didn't understand!"

"I will teach you."

"Praise me when I do a good job in magic training, because I actually worked very hard!"

"And there's..."

As if opening a chatterbox, after thinking of the first item, Xia Liang immediately made a series of requests that sounded quite troublesome.

Some of these requests were indeed things that Delphinium did not usually fulfill, and some were simply trivial matters. If she hadn't said it out at this time, Delphinium would not have noticed her thoughts at all.

Although Xia Liang usually seems to say whatever he wants, it is obvious that this kind of "whatever he wants" is also the result of inner deliberation.

Right now, it is she who has really opened the door to her heart, who is breaking up small problems one by one.

Xia Liang summed it up in this way, and Delphinium kept expressing her own comments from time to time, until she finished everything she could think of.

"And the most important one!"

Xia Liang raised her head, the smile on her face was more real than ever before: "I, want to have a better and closer relationship with Xiao Lu and the junior!"

"close?"

Delphinium was a little puzzled by this request, and then explained: "The magical girl companion is a very close comrade-in-arms relationship. When you have more experience in fighting side by side in the future, and even your strength reaches my level, our relationship is destined to be very close. close."

"No, not that kind of intimacy!"

Xia Liang stretched out her hand and gestured: "Obviously, magical girl companions are a very important relationship, so they should be better than ordinary friends, right? I want someone who is more friendly and warms my heart..."

It can make up for the missing "love" due to the broken family.

After understanding what she wanted to express, Delphinium added something in her heart.

Lacking love, longing for love, Xia Liang, who has been seeking to connect with others, is still unable to feel "love".Therefore, she will still feel lonely.

What she wants to get from Delphinium and Lin Xiaolu is not only the friendship between the comrades in the war, not only the relationship between teachers and students, but also the relationship that can replace the vacancy in the family-family relationship.

Perhaps, this is already the clearest expression in her ignorance: she seems to hope that the current team of magical girls will become her next "home".

It can be said that it is completely "willful" to make such an excessive request after they have only known each other for a month.

"Then, the intimacy you mentioned, how does it reflect the specific needs?"

Delphinium supported the sofa, listening to Xia Liang's words.

But it was also because of Xia Liang's paranoid thoughts that she felt that the girl in front of her was a real child with many immature thoughts in her heart.

Hearing Delphinium's question, Xia Liang paused for a moment, then folded his hands together, showing a sweet and well-behaved smile.

"I've said it before, little senior."

Her eyes were bright, and she looked at the delphinium as if praying:

"Shall we sleep together tonight?"

(End of this chapter)