Chapter 42

In the past, Xia Liang always remembered a sentence in her heart: Only good children can be loved.

It comes from what her mother said to her when her parents were loving and happy when she was young: "Is our puppy good? Only good children are loved by others, and mothers also like good children."

"Puppy dog" was her nickname at that time, because she liked to bite people when she was angry, so when she moved her mouth, her parents would laugh and say, "Puppy dog ​​bites people again".

Xia Liang feels that she is not a puppy, and that she can be very good.Since then, she seldom bites when she is angry.

She became a good child in the eyes of her parents and relatives and friends.

She is well-behaved at home, and her sweet smile makes her parents love her more; she is sensible and generous in social situations, and her relatives, friends and elders always praise her; she is obedient and serious at school, and she is a role model for teachers to let students learn from.

The more you work hard to make yourself well-behaved and sensible, the happier your life will be, and Xia Liang gradually gets used to it.However, everything changed a few years later.

She didn't know whether it was because of what her father said, "I will find another job", or what my mother said, "I was cheated out of a lot of money", but in short, it seems that since then, she has rarely seen smiles on the faces of her parents .

Dad would always have a frowning face when he came home, and my mother would always sigh, and the frequency of anger became higher.

Whenever this happens, Xia Liang will stand up and try to make them happy and make them smile.

This method was useful at the beginning. When Xia Liang showed a cute and cute appearance, her parents would always cheer up and laugh with her.But later, as time passed, no matter how hard Xia Liang tried, it was of no avail.

She finds it very strange, is it because she is not good enough, so she can't make her parents happy?
Then one day, she found out that her mother had started taking money out of the house.

My mother said that she could earn money, but except for the first few times when she brought the money back, the money she took away never came back.

Dad began to go home less and less, and even when he came home, he was arguing with his mother. He loudly scolded his mother for being a "gambling prodigal", while his mother accused him of "being unemployed and looking for an affair".

At that time, Xia Liang was still ignorant of these words. She knew that gambling and having an affair were bad things, but she never thought that it would happen in her own home.

She mustered up her courage and decided not to be a good child for the first time, because she decided to oppose her parents. She wanted to persuade them not to quarrel, and always quarreling would make the relationship bad.

But this attempt failed, and her parents ignored her and just scolded her to "go aside".

So Xia Liang became a good boy again.No matter how much her parents quarreled, she didn't stop her anymore, she just kept showing them her smile.

She continued to study hard in school and came home with many awards, hoping that her good performance would make her parents happy.But these awards were eventually treated as waste paper and thrown on the table at will.

One day, as the quarrel between the parents escalated and turned into a fight, the award certificate was soaked in boiled water, and the handwriting on it could no longer be read clearly.

Later, my father started beating my mother, and then argued for a divorce.

He said that he was fed up with women like his mother, he had a new love, and he wanted to choose his own happiness.

Mom undoubtedly disagrees, because she has not yet proved that she is the backbone of the family, and she has not earned back the temporarily lost money. She believes that Dad is also responsible for this.

The things at home were sold, and the disputes between her parents became more and more intense. Xia Liang could only hide behind the crack of the door and watch them quarrel, and then went back to continue her homework.

——She wants to be a good child, because only good children are liked.

Then, one night, she heard her father yelling.

He said: "Why do you want to use my personal money, I will kill you bitch!".

Mom was also screaming, she said: "If you can, try it!"

Then, they actually did it.With dull impacts, roars, and screams, when Xia Liang cautiously looked out the door, she could only see her mother standing there covered in blood, holding a knife in her hand, and her father lying there. At her feet, never to move again.

"come over."

This was the first sentence my mother said after seeing Xia Liang.

Xia Liang felt scared.Because when my mother said this, her voice was not warm at all, and the knife in her hand was tightly held.

But she is a good child, and mother likes good children, so she has to be obedient.

She walked over.

Mom stabbed her with a knife.

That feeling was very painful and uncomfortable, but Xia Liang still kept in mind that she wanted to be a good child, so although she screamed in pain, she held back her tears.

The police who broke into the house took away her mother and Xia Liang who was almost killed.

At the end, looking at her mother who was taken away, she struggled and showed her always flattering smile to her mother.

——"Stop laughing so foolishly."

Here's what Mom said: "It's disgusting."

At that moment, something seemed to shatter in Xia Liang's heart, leaving only a dark, bottomless hole.

In this way, she lost her parents.

No relatives are willing to raise her. I don't know when it will start. The relatives who used to come to her house from time to time no longer have contact with this family.

Xia Liang became an unwanted child.

She didn't want to leave home, but no one wanted to support her, so she lived alone in this house, living on subsidies from the city government.

At school, the classmates who hated and rejected her because she was "other people's good boy" didn't know where they heard the rumors.They all yelled that her mother was a murderer, and made up this incident into a jingle, and they began to sing it when they saw Xia Liang.

The school teacher was also powerless about this, even if he reprimanded the children in class, he couldn't control the children's private behavior. It wasn't until the end of primary school and the day when the children graduated one after another that he spoke to him in a tone of resentment. Xia Liang said:

"They're all like this, why is this silly kid still laughing?"

Why can I still laugh?Xia Liang herself doesn't know this question.

Rather, are you still laughing?

Obviously there is no one to show her smile to, no matter how cute she is, it doesn't make sense, but she still does it subconsciously.

In this way, after entering junior high school, no one wanted to be friends with her because of the rumors in elementary school.

No matter how Xia Liang tried to please her, everyone would just avoid her in fear.

The only ones who are willing to accept her are the "hot girls" and "bad girls" in other populations.They thought it sounded cool that Xia Liang's mother was murdered and imprisoned.

"But you look too rustic."

They commented like this: "If you want to join us, you must first improve yourself?"

So Xia Liang learned how to make up.

If dressing well allows them to accept themselves, she will dress up; if her words and deeds are frivolous in line with their ideas, she will imitate them; if they need money to make them face themselves, then give them to them.

We want to be accepted, to be cared for, to be comforted, to be connected, to be loved.

There was no way to fill the void in her heart. Like a dying person grasping at straws, she followed closely in the footsteps of these "friends", begging them to look back at her.

Until she reached the edge of the quagmire, she watched her friends standing in it and waving to her.

She began to want to refuse, to retreat, but she was already firmly tied, and some unknown force was pushing her, trying to push her into it.

There is no way out.

Just when she had given up and decided to calmly accept that future, another force pulled her firmly from behind.

Then, someone grabbed her wrist and brought her from the boundless darkness to the blue sky.

That beautiful blue is the color of the sky, as clear as the pair of eyes opposite her.

She asked herself:
"Do you want to be a magical girl?"

 感谢书友剑神橙子、chrys、书友20220514114639532、书友150616234813713、临空linkin、伊吹真紅、书友20190708175443593、观书人A、神马陨、鱼板19881、待君莫笑、书友20190313160324533、飞萌的天、奥露比雅、blackwings、惊涛zwz、书友20190312231649122、STR、筱xxz祥、书友20220804084716481、伤胤赋、木梓木锌、书友20170901134628737、书友20220508162322646、猫灯骨鱼、太初淬、叫我御坂大人丶、落叶Z、泡泡眷族、书友20220825144838496、窥屏怪QMQ、霍霜之哀、峰临火山、水多加面面多加水、洛翔晨、秋叶晓霜、埃尘、卡诺Carnot、藏往、rr4r酱的打赏。感谢你们的支持。

  
 
(End of this chapter)

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