The Bizarre Adventure of the Warhammer Elves

Chapter 319 Stinky, Very Stinky
The tragedy in Lannisport continued. Under Brother Roland's iron-fisted rule, hundreds of ships loaded with trophies began to return to the Iron Islands, leaving only more than 1 Pendor soldiers who continued to march eastward.

However, the flames rising over Lannisport eventually attracted the attention of other nearby castles. After all, as the largest trading port in the western region, many families' caravans were among them.

From their point of view, there might be some fires or pirate invasions in Lannisport. With the well-trained defense team in the port, it is basically impossible for any major problems to occur.

However, they didn't realize the seriousness of the problem until the western cavalry sent by the nearby nobles were about to investigate the situation and suddenly found the sea monster flag fluttering in the wind over Lannisport.

Most importantly, the accompanying knights also found a familiar headless corpse in the pile of unburned corpses outside the city. The gorgeous armor symbolizing Lannister members on his body all declared his identity:

Duke Tywin's younger brother, Kevan Lannister, was killed!
———Western Territory, Casterly Rock City

Casterly Rock City is a tall and majestic rock castle. Since the entire castle is carved on a huge rock mountain, and the pier located in the cave can provide a steady stream of supplies, it is a strong city that is easy to defend and difficult to attack. castle.

Yet it was in the cave halls of this fortified castle that the sound of precious porcelain and glass being smashed was constantly echoing at this moment:

bang bang——

Outside the hall, several red-robed knights in charge of guarding were looking at each other with sad faces, as if the crackling sound coming from the door in the room was the horn of the god of death.

They had never seen Duke Tywin, who had always been known for his indifference, lose his composure so much that it made them fearful of the servants.

At this moment, a short figure suddenly appeared from the end of the corridor, looking at these knights who were standing at the door like a tortoise and dared not go in, and asked teasingly in a deep voice:

"Why are you all standing here? Why don't you go in and persuade my respected father?"

"Duke Tywin is currently furious because of the death of Lord Kevan. We dare not touch the bad luck of Lord Duke at this time. I advise you not to go in, otherwise you will definitely be reprimanded."

Seeing that the visitor was Duke Tywin's second son, the 'little devil' Tyrion Lannister, the knights did not show any respect to this little dwarf, only the leading knight spoke out to remind him.

This was not because he kindly advised the little devil, but he was worried that if the little devil offended Duke Tywin, they would be punished by Tywin for letting the little devil into the hall, that's all.

And Tyrion saw the knight's worry at a glance, so he took out a money bag full of golden dragons from his arms and threw it to him, then glanced at the attendants beside him and said:
"Dear knights, the Lannister family has suffered enough shame today, are you going to watch the noble second son of the Lannister family open the door on tiptoe?"

"……Good luck."

Hearing this, the Knight Commander silently put the money bag thrown by Tyrion into his arms, and then he personally opened the door to the hall for the other party, and hurriedly left his post after the other party entered the door.

bang~
The loud sound of the door closing echoed in the empty hall instantly. Tyrion carefully avoided the broken tiles and glass on the ground, and then set his sights on the figure sitting on the throne of the 'King of the Rock':
I saw a tall, broad-shouldered bald man sitting on the bright red throne. The golden beard on his cheeks was as mighty and domineering as a lion's mane.

Coupled with the shoulders that were constantly heaving due to anger, Tyrion at this time only felt that he saw a real lion sitting on the throne, and the powerful momentum exuded made him feel uncomfortable.

This person is the Guardian of the West, the Duke of Casterly Rock, the Shield of Lannisport, and the patriarch of the Lannister family - Tywin Lannister!
"What are you doing here? This is not a place you can enter casually. Get out of here quickly!"

Noticing that Tyrion's deformed and ugly figure appeared in the hall of Casterly Rock, Tywin's eyes immediately showed a touch of imperceptible disgust and dissatisfaction, and then directly yelled at him.

Tyrion didn't care about his father's dissatisfaction and disgust, but indifferently picked up a glass from the table that had not been poisoned by Tywin, filled a glass of fine wine for himself, and said with emotion:
"Although I know that you have been maintaining the majesty of the Lannister family, I have to tell you with regret that you could even hear your smashing sound at the cave pier just now, and even disturbed many sleeping soldiers. .”

After that, Tyrion drank the wine in the glass, then took out an envelope from his arms and put it on the table, and asked curiously:

"As for the ironborn bandits who occupied Lannisport, who are you going to hand them over to? It can't be the Magic Mountain of Fort Clegane, right?"

"I will personally summon the knights to deal with the matter of Lannisport. No one can be unscathed after insulting the majesty of the Lannister family... Is this an envelope from King's Landing?"

Tywin, who was already extremely irritable because of his younger brother's murder, perfunctorily ignored Tyrion's inquiry, and then set his sights on the golden lacquered envelope on the table, and couldn't help frowning slightly.

There is no trace of any royal seal on the surface of this envelope, but the envelope specially provided by the royal family can be used, so this letter is undoubtedly from the hands of a member of the royal family.

As the only royal member of the Lannister family, this letter is undoubtedly from his ineffective eldest daughter, who is also the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms-Cersei Lannister.

Tyrion obviously knew this too. After all, because Tywin didn't want to see him appear in Casterly Rock, he usually stayed in King's Landing, so he naturally knew the information about the royal family:
"This must be a letter from my dear queen sister. After all, I don't think anyone else would choose to put such a high-end perfume on the envelope except her. This is simply a luxury."

"Of course, your sister is the noble Light of the West, and she also borrowed 300 million gold dragons from my treasury. Naturally, she won't use inferior perfume to cover up the stench like the prostitutes you have come into contact with."

Hearing Tyrion's mockery of Cersei, even Tywin rarely agreed, and then resisted the cloying smell of perfume and opened the envelope.

However, after seeing all the messy contents recorded in the envelope, Tywin's unchanging face could not help showing a touch of astonishment, and the gaffe he showed surprised Tyrion who hadn't seen the envelope next to him.

So is there anything in this world that can surprise even the old lion?

Even when he learned that Lannisport had been captured by the Ironborn, and that his younger brother Kevan was dead, Tywin only showed anger, as if he had anticipated the Ironborn's attack.

Something that can surprise such a strategizing old lion...

Could it be that the king died?

Or has the remnants of Targaryen already assembled an army and started preparing to counterattack the continent?

Just as Tyrion's smart brain was brainstorming, Tywin slammed the envelope on the table, picked up the jug and drank with his head up. Tyrion couldn't help being shocked by his gaffe:

"What's the matter, is His Majesty the King really dead?"

Hearing Tyrion's exclamation, Tywin also realized that his behavior today was too rude, so he put down the flagon, poured himself a glass of wine and whispered:
"Gudu Gudu...Death? Hmph, if it's really just the death of the king, then I wish things could be that simple!"

Hearing Tywin's cold snort, Tyrion reached out and took the envelope on the table curiously, and looked at it, and then immediately realized why Tywin lost his composure.

The content recorded in the envelope is actually not much, but it covers all the things that happened in the northern border and King's Landing during this period:
From the wildling invasion to the appearance of the White Walkers, to the disappearance of the White Walkers and the appearance of the Elf Dragon, as well as the legendary experience of the assassination of the king and the resurrection of the dead, almost everything is enough to make Tyrion feel dry.

If he didn't know that Cersei was not a person who liked to joke about this kind of thing, Tyrion would even think that this letter was a joke sent by the other party to amuse Tywin.

But if the content of this letter is true, then the changes in this world would be too terrifying!
"I feel... I seem to be a little behind the times. Could it be that all the books and knowledge I have come into contact with before are all fake?"

Facing Tyrion's emotion, even Tywin didn't know how to answer for a while, after all, this letter had completely exceeded his comprehension.

However, as an excellent ruler, Tywin was still able to distinguish between priorities. For the Lannister family, the ironmen of Lannisport were the threat that was close at hand and had to be resolved as soon as possible.

As for the elves and dragons far away in the sky, and even the strange ghosts who don't know where they are, they are too far away from the current western border, and they are not worthy of their attention.

The old and spicy lion knows a truth, only solve one problem at a time, so as to make the problem less and less fundamentally.

"Tyrion, I need you to return to King's Landing immediately to observe for me whether the newly emerged elf force is really as powerful as Cersei said."

"Is this serious? The main reason why I came back this time is because I ran out of living expenses, and those elves seem to be noble existences. Will they tolerate people like me appearing in front of them?"

Hearing Tywin's order, even Tyrion, who has always been wise, couldn't help touching his ugly face, his words were full of unconfidence.

After all, according to the letters sent by Cersei, those elves are as handsome and elegant as the angels in the legend, and at the same time they are also very arrogant, and they seem to be difficult to get along with.

Although he was very unwilling, but as a well-known little devil, even the self-confident Tyrion couldn't help being a little scared, afraid of the disgusted expressions in the eyes of those elves when they saw him.

Seeing the rare weakness and timidity on Tyrion's face, Tywin did not have the nature of mocking his dwarf son at the moment, but finally said firmly:

"Although I am very unwilling, Cersei has always been a stupid woman who is proud of her cleverness; James is just a reckless boy who is good at solving problems with force, and he cannot undertake the task of communication at all.

Among my three children, only you have barely inherited my wisdom. I hope you can figure out the strength and purpose of those elves' army. I don't believe that they really came to exterminate the White Walkers. "

In Tywin's view, any creature is made up of desires, even those noble elves will never start wars for no reason for the so-called noble glory.

The reason why they came to King's Landing must be for a greater benefit!

Hearing that Tywin, who has always looked down on him, said such insincere words from the heart, Tyrion only felt his nose a little sore, and then suppressed his sobs and said:

"...Since that's the case, leave King's Landing to me. I wish you success in your crusade against Lannisport. You must avenge Uncle Kevan."

As one of the few members of the Lannister family who admired the little devil, Kevan did not treat his nephew as indifferently as his elder brother because of the little devil's deformed body. Instead, he noticed the great wisdom hidden in the other's ugly brain.

And not only Kevan, but even his uncles and aunts are very friendly to him, which makes Tyrion feel the warmth of one of the few family members in this cruel family.

If it weren't for the fact that the dwarf's physique couldn't adapt to the battlefield, Tyrion would have even wished to take the initiative to challenge Tywin, hoping to avenge Uncle Kevan!
"I will, I will cut off the heads of those ironmen, put them all on spears and nail them to the rocks of Lannisport, and let all passing merchant ships know: Lannister, you must pay your debts!"

Hearing Tyrion mentioned Kevan, a frightening coldness flashed in Tywin's eyes, and then he left the Kaiyan hall silently, and began to summon the vassals of the Lannister family.

After Tyrion drank all the wine in the jug, he turned his gaze to the Caster's Rock Throne in the Caster's Rock Hall, and after looking slightly dazed, he left the hall alone.

Since his father has entrusted him with such a difficult task, he naturally cannot live up to the other party's expectations, and must complete this task with excellence.

"Elves, different ghosts...hehe, I hope you won't be frightened by the little devil's appearance!"

———A few weeks later, King’s Landing
"Arrive to King's Landing, the capital of Westeros, alas, isn't this a slum, let's take a look at the Red Castle in the distance, elves."

If Rohan's image of Winterfell is a simple but very warm castle, then he can only think of one word to describe this capital of Westeros:
Smelly!
(End of this chapter)