Weird recovery: I can see the script of life

Chapter 126 A Diary
Full of curiosity, Zhang Ya quickly looked at the page of text in the notes.

She had to browse through this page quickly before Chen Li turned the page...

"On June 1981, 6, the weather was overcast..."

"My name is Chen Li, and I'm six years old."

"My family is very difficult, my parents often quarrel..."

"During the quarrel, my parents would yell at me, saying that my arrival made the family more difficult."

"I don't know what I did wrong, why are my parents angry and arguing?"

"And how should I answer them?"

"I remember that my neighbor's uncles and aunts all praised me for being beautiful when I smiled."

"So I didn't talk to my parents, I just smiled at them."

"After I laughed, they stopped yelling at me."

"This method is very effective."

On this page of the diary, there were only a few crooked lines, the handwriting was very scribbled, and Zhang Ya quickly read it.

And the moment she finished reading it, Chen Li also turned the page in good time...

He... seems to be revisiting this... a diary that records his life...

"August 1983, 8, the weather was sunny."

"I am eight years old, and the children around me are all going to school."

"And my parents said that because our family's conditions are not good, they can't support me in school."

"They said, after two years, I will go to work in the fields, and the children of poor families will be able to head home early."

"They also say it's a man's job."

"I am not happy."

"Does this mean that I will be separated from those children?"

"No! I don't want to! I want to go to school!"

"I don't like this family! I don't like my parents either!"

The diary on the second page is also very short, it was recorded by Chen Li when he was seven years old.

Seeing this page of the diary, Zhang Ya felt thoughtful...

It turned out that Chen Li had such a difficult life when he was young...

And these things, Chen Li never told her.

"Why is this?"

A trace of doubt arose in Zhang Ya's heart...

Soon, Chen Li stretched out his hand again and turned another page.

The date on this page is very short from the previous page.

"On July 1983, 8, the weather was overcast."

"I'm so happy! I can finally go to school!"

"I remembered the movie that the village organization had watched before."

"When the children in the movie cannot go to school, they will cry to the adults in other people's homes."

"When the crying is over, the adults of other people's families will dissuade the child's parents and let the child go to school."

"In the past few days, I have also used this method to cry to other adults and my grandparents."

"I can't say that I want to go to school because other children have gone to school."

"I remember in the movie, when the children said they wanted to become scientists, the adults in other families were very happy and would praise the children."

"So I told my grandparents, and the adults in the neighborhood, I want to go to school, I want to be a scientist."

"It works!"

"After speaking, the adults in the neighborhood, as well as grandparents, all went to dissuade my parents."

"They said my parents were not good parents, and they said that there is no one who would not let their children go to school."

"I see, it turns out that parents are bad people."

"So I have to ask others to help me deal with the bad guys."

"But after the others left, the parents all had gloomy faces."

"I think they look terrible, I can only continue to smile at them, I am afraid they will hit me."

"But after a while, Dad sighed and said that since I wanted to go to school, he would let me go, but he told me to study hard, and said that if I didn't study well, I would not be allowed to continue going to school later."

"Sure enough, what I thought was right, father and mother are both bad people!"

"Why do I have to live with bad people every day? I'm not happy."

This page of the diary has a little more text...

Seeing this page of the diary, Zhang Ya's doubts deepened...

When Chen Li was a child, he was a bit too precocious...

At such a young age, he had to use some methods to make his life easier.

In Zhang Ya's mind, it seemed that she had imagined a seven-year-old boy who was obedient to his parents.

She was inexplicably distressed.

She suddenly felt, did she blame Chen Li by mistake?

Could it be that what is recorded in this diary is only the deepest memory in Chen Li's heart, and he just doesn't want to show it to others?

But now, could it be that because of his own death, Chen Li's mood became extremely bad, so he wanted to record another diary in this diary again?
In Zhang Ya's heart, when doubts arose.

Chen Li stretched out his hand again, and opened the diary to the next page.

"On July 1986, 4, the weather was overcast."

"I'm ten years old and already in the third grade."

"My grades in the class have always been No.1."

"Actually, I was very unhappy."

"Because my parents always said, if I can't keep my grades at No.1, then let me drop out of school and do farm work..."

"Now I'm grown up."

"I know that doing farm work is very tiring, and you have to experience the wind and the sun every day."

"No matter how you look at it, studying is much easier than doing farm work."

"In order not to do farm work, I can only study hard."

"I don't know why I was born into such a family."

"Although because of my good grades, many people will come to my house as guests, and they will all praise me."

"But although my parents are smiling, I know in my heart that they are not happy. Ever since they were young, they have always felt that I am a burden."

"I am very envious of other children, their parents, who will buy them delicious cakes on their birthdays."

"But when it came to my birthday, there was nothing, only a sigh and a few complaints."

"In the past two years, because others always make my parents treat me better, the number of quarrels between my parents has decreased a lot."

"But they still fight when no one is in the house."

"Only now, they don't seem to be yelling at me so much anymore."

"Perhaps it was the dissuasion of others that played a role."

"Sure enough, all these years, my thoughts have been right. My parents are bad people, and I am a child raised by bad people."

"But why is my life so hard?"

"Today the teacher told the story of little luotou, and said that little luotou's miserable life experience deserves our sympathy."

"Although I behaved the same as other children, I shed tears for the story of Little Carrot Head."

"But in my heart, I don't actually have much feeling."

"Because no matter how hard Little Luoba's life is, at least his parents treated him very well when he was alive."

"But what about me..."

"My parents, are they really good to me? I think they are good or bad..."

"Actually, I also kind of want to die..."

"I think living is really tiring and tiring..."

"I have to smile every day, because only when I smile, others will sympathize with me, and others will persuade my parents to be better to me."

"Only when I smile, my parents won't yell at me."

"Also, I can only stop doing farm work if I study hard."

"It's such a tiring day..."

"But if I want to die, I don't have the courage."

"Besides, I haven't even eaten a piece of cake, so I just died. Isn't my life worthwhile?"

The text on this page is very long. When Zhang Ya saw this page, there was only endless sadness in Zhang Ya's heart...

Zhang Ya finally found the answer to some of Chen Li's actions.

It turned out that the smile he always had on his face was just his habit...

He is used to wearing a mask to live, since he was a child, he has always been like this...

Zhang Ya couldn't help feeling a little sad for Chen Li's past...

But at this moment, seeing his past diary, Chen Liwei frowned...

There was a gloomy expression on his face unconsciously...

He reached out again and opened the diary again.

"On July 1989, 3, the weather was overcast."

"I'm in sixth grade and will be graduating soon."

"In the past few years, every day has seemed like a year to me."

"It's really tiring to maintain that innocent smile all the time."

"And my parents are making me sick more and more!"

"They're not even as cute as the neighbor's dog!"

"Even the neighbor's native dog, after giving birth to puppies, knows how to treat the puppies well."

"But what about them? Apart from quarreling, complaining about the injustice of fate, and complaining about my waste of money, they have nothing to do!"

"Why do I have such parents?"

"Why am I so unlucky?"

"A few days ago, the grandfather next door passed away..."

"He is one of the few people who can help me dissuade my parents and blame my parents for treating me badly..."

"Although he didn't actually help me, he didn't do anything to me except occasionally giving me a few pieces of candy."

"But at least, he can help me deal with my parents..."

"When he died, how I wished that it was my parents who died, not him!"

"I heard that when someone in the family dies, those who survive will get a funeral fee."

"Why didn't my parents die?"

"If my parents die, can I use the funeral expenses to live alone? Do I not have to continue to live by looking at their faces?"

"Hey... I want to die again..."

"I'm too tired to live..."

"I don't know if I can continue to go to junior high school after graduating from primary school."

"If possible, I hope to go to the town to go to middle school, so that I can leave my parents."

"But I heard that middle school tuition fees are higher. I'm afraid it will be difficult for my parents to pay for it..."

"If it really doesn't work, it seems that I have to use the method I used when I was a child!"

"I now know the meaning of the word acting!"

"I have to improve my acting skills!"

After reading another page of the diary, Zhang Ya felt inexplicably sad...

What kind of experience is it that can make a teenage child yearn for the death of his parents every day...

What kind of experience can make a child wear a mask all the time in life...

……

"hey-hey……"

After reading the page of the diary in front of him, Chen Li let out a cold laugh.

He seemed to remember that childhood full of grief.

He slowly stretched out his hand and turned the diary again to the next page.

"On July 1989, 9, the weather was overcast."

"I finally got my wish!"

"I went to junior high school in the town, and I'm still a boarding student!"

"In this way, I only need to go home for two days at the weekend!"

"My lifelike acting skills before have played a role!"

"I cried in front of my grandparents for a long time. I said that I wanted to borrow money from them to go to junior high school. When I grow up, I will return the money to them."

"After that, my grandparents called my parents and talked with them a lot..."

"In the end, my grandparents agreed to lend some money to my parents to pay my school fees."

"My parents can't hold them back, so they can only agree to let me continue to go to school."

"Once again, I won the battle with my parents!"

"After I arrived at the school, I knew that starting from middle school, there will be some subsidies for outstanding students in the town. After that, there will be scholarships for high school and university!"

"Actually, I don't like studying. What I like is money!"

"As long as I have money, I can get rid of my parents and live alone!"

"As long as I have money, I can live the life I want!"

"So, I can only continue to study hard, I want to get a subsidy, I want to get a scholarship!"

"In the past two years, my parents have aged very quickly. I don't know if they are tired from doing farm work."

"Looking at them, I don't feel distressed at all."

"When... will they die?"

"Even I wanted to commit suicide countless times...Why are you still not dead?"

Chen Li in this piece of diary is already 13 years old. Apart from being too precocious, at that time, Chen Li's heart was full of violence and distortion...

Zhang Ya could tell that at that time, Chen Li was no longer normal...

His thoughts, how can a normal child have the thoughts he should have...

But Zhang Ya somehow understood him...

She is very fortunate that she has two parents who treat her wonderfully...

And what about Chen Li?

Isn't it unreasonable for him to have such emotions and such psychology?

Children, in fact, are like animals...

They can easily distinguish who is good to him and who is bad to him...

A child's mind is also very simple. People who treat him well are good people in his world.

On the contrary, those who treat him badly are naturally regarded as enemies in his world...

"Hey……"

Zhang Ya let out a long sigh...

At the same time, Chen Li stretched out his hand again and turned the diary to the next page.

"On July 1991, 10, the weather was overcast."

"I'm 15 years old, and I'm in the third grade of junior high school."

"I'll graduate from junior high school next year."

"My grades have always been stable, and I study hard for everything I want!"

"Therefore, I have always been No.1 in school!"

"I got some stipends and my tuition was reduced a lot."

"In the past two years, my parents complained to me a lot less..."

"In addition to blaming me for not being able to help the family with farm work, they no longer complain that I need to spend too much money!"

"Because my tuition fees are running out, and apart from tuition fees, I have never made any other demands on my parents."

"I am very envious of the new clothes and shoes worn by my classmates."

"But I never mentioned it to my parents, because I don't want to talk to them, even seeing their faces makes me sick!"

"Why aren't they dead yet?"

"Last month, my grandfather passed away, and there is one less person who can help me deal with my parents..."

"I have to become stronger quickly!"

"As long as I have money! I can live the life I want!"

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(End of this chapter)