Entertainment: The opening and the official announcement of the national goddess

Chapter 396 Stand-up Comedy, Immortality (Please recommend and collect)

Yang Mi in the audience, when she heard Zhang Xiao's words, immediately showed a dumbfounding expression.

This guy really does everything for cross talk!
However, Zhang Xiao on the stage did not look at Yang Mi's expression, and continued on his own: "The doctor is still muttering, it's over, I can't see anything without glasses."

"You say, can this industry take a big breath?"

"After the doctor put on his glasses, he took a closer look at my medical records and said that I was very serious. He couldn't see it, so he had to register as a specialist."

"I believed it, so I spent 200 yuan the next day and signed up for an expert account."

"But the moment I opened the door, I found that it was the same doctor from yesterday. At that time, I thought, this doctor's upgrade is a trick, right?"

"You became an expert overnight?"

"The doctor explained that I was originally an expert, and I was just on duty for someone else yesterday."

"Then how good you just showed me yesterday?"

"The doctor also said very rationally, you have a disease that costs 200 yuan, and yesterday's number was 15 yuan. If I showed you yesterday, the hospital lost 185 yuan."

When Zhang Xiao said this, the audience couldn't help laughing.

"Pfft!"

"Hahaha!"

"Damn, can it still be like this?"

"Not to mention, experts in some hospitals are really like this."

"···"

Zhang Xiao continued: "This time the doctor looked at my test report again, and told me that nothing happened, and told me to go home directly."

"I was very puzzled and asked, didn't you say it was serious yesterday?"

"The doctor explained to me solemnly. The doctor said you were serious, but the experts said you were fine!"

"Hahaha~" The audience at the scene was about to go crazy, the applause, laughter, and screams almost overturned the Deyunju venue.

Zhang Xiao's cross talk is so funny that everyone can hear that Zhang Xiao is continuing the cross talk, mocking some so-called experts in the hospital.

"Speaking of this hospital, our family Mimi said that when my great-great-great-grandson's generation, medicine is highly developed, everyone will go to the social epidemic prevention station to inject a second-second drug called super-strong regeneration of cells. , and live forever.”

"At that time, there was no pension, and when the age exceeded [-], a tax on wasting planetary resources would be levied, and there was no such thing as family planning, and birth was directly prohibited."

"Why? It's very simple, because there are only those who come, and those who don't leave, the planet can't afford it at all!"

"···"

"At that time, the shortest building had to be [-] floors. Go downstairs for a walk with the dog and work as an elevator for a month."

"Do you really think it's a good thing if people can't sing?"

"The couple have been together for tens of thousands of years, and those whispers have been whispered billions of times. Turn it over, tune it over, the speaker and the listener all want to vomit!"

"Should we find another one for divorce? Birth is prohibited, there are no new couples, and the acquaintances around me have searched for two rounds."

The audience burst into laughter again.

"Hahaha!"

"Oh, I'm going, my stomach hurts from laughing."

"Thank God Xiao can think of such a burden."

Zhang Xiao on the stage continued: "I have no choice but to go to the hospital and beg the doctor, you will kill me, I am really tired of work."

"The doctor is quite embarrassing. If I kill you, your cells are super regenerated, so you have to come back alive!"

"I can't do anything, why don't you go see a Chinese medicine doctor?"

"Okay, I went to the hospital of traditional Chinese medicine again, but when I went there, there were many people who were tired of working. Now that I register, it will take 250 years before I can see it."

"But I can't wait. I bought a scalper's ticket at a high price from a number dealer, and hung up an old Chinese doctor."

"The old Chinese doctor took my pulse and stared at me, you are not sick!"

"I'm not sick, I'm here to seek death."

"Then I'll prescribe you two boxes of leg-stretching pills, but these are at your own expense and will not be reported."

"Okay, as long as you can eat dead people, you can do it at your own expense!"

"Eat, eat and see. If you really die from eating, don't be happy. If you don't die after eating both boxes, don't blame me."

"After bowing to the old Chinese doctor, I said to him, if you really die from eating, I will send you a pennant."

"After I came out of the hospital, I thought about it carefully. This is definitely not possible. If it is true that it can eat dead people, how is this old Chinese doctor still alive? He should have eaten himself to death long ago. Looking at him like that, he would be a hundred thousand years old at least. gone."

"···"

"Hahaha!"

The last section of Zhang Xiao's imported theme "Immortality" made everyone laugh out loud.

"In that era, everyone lived in despair, only our Deyunju fans had the goal of living."

"Because the big guys firmly believe that as long as they live forever, they can wait until the day when Deyunju is finished."

"Of course, immortality is a beautiful dream of human beings. Life is short and comes and goes in a hurry. It takes a lifetime to be happy, but it is also a lifetime to be sad."

"You might as well listen to Deyunju's cross talk more, and be happy for the rest of your life."

Speaking of this, all Zhang Xiao's stand-up comics ended, and the audience spontaneously stood up, sending him extremely warm applause and cheers.

"Too good!"

"Xiao Shen's stand-up comedy is really a masterpiece!"

"Classic, this "Immortal" is definitely a classic in stand-up comedy!"

"If Xiao Shen talks about cross talk, he will definitely be no worse than Guo Xiaogang and Yu Qian."

"···"

Zhang Xiao's performance was extremely successful, and he bowed three times to the audience before returning to the backstage.

Seeing Zhang Xiao coming down, Guo Xiaogang and Yu Qian gave him a thumbs up and praised: "Well done!"

Zhang Xiao said with a smile: "Look at the sweat on my head, you can know how nervous I am."

"Just you? Still nervous?" Yu Qian rolled his eyes and said, "I really didn't see it."

Guo Xiaogang hastily ordered to the apprentice behind him: "Qilin, hurry up and say hello to Brother Xiao."

After speaking, he shouted to Yu Qian: "Let's go, Teacher Yu, it's our turn."

Next, the two stepped onto the stage one after the other and performed a grand finale.

Qilin poured a cup of tea for Zhang Xiao, and said with admiration: "Brother Xiao, your cross talk is really good, how did you practice it, can you teach me?"

Zhang Xiao took a sip from his teacup and said, "I want to say that I have never practiced in these years, do you believe me?"

"I believe!" Qilin nodded and said, "You really don't seem to have much time to practice cross talk."

Zhang Xiao said with a smile: "I learn cross talk just like I learn acting. I first imitate, then practice, and finally form my own unique style."

"I don't have any other skills, but imitation and academic ability are a bit strong. Others may need ten or eight years of practice to achieve results, but I can basically do it in three or four months."

After hearing this, Qilin gave a thumbs up with envy and admiration, and said, "Brother Xiao, you are still the best."

(End of this chapter)