departure tomorrow

Chapter 82 Learn to let go
"What are you doing?" Xu Linlin put down his pen and asked Su Nan, who was smiling while wearing earphones and holding her mobile phone.

"Huh?" Su Nan took off her earphones and looked at Xu Linlin.

"I asked what you were looking at." Xu Linlin put the homework he had written into his satchel.

"Son of Tomorrow." Su Nan looked at Xu Linlin who was packing up, "Did you finish writing so quickly today?"

"Well, I'm done. Isn't Tomorrow's Son a long time ago variety show? I still remember what you called it every day at that time, Meng Zikun's vote, right?" Xu Linlin stood up.

"They won't update it. It's been several seasons, okay? Besides, apart from the fact that the first season was a bit tricky, there are some tricks in these. But this one is quite tricky." Su Nan nodded seriously.

Xu Linlin leaned over suspiciously, and after a glance, she knew why she said there was a trick. "Wow, the children from back then are now tutors."

"What kid, I'm [-] this year, okay?" Su Nan kicked Xu Linlin.

"Okay, okay. You can continue to watch your Wang Yuan, I'm going to take a shower." Xu Linlin touched his buttocks, "But those students, some of them are older than Wang Yuan. Will there be any dissatisfaction?"

"Yes, just now I saw a guy who just left with his butt, but he went back later." Su Nan stepped back to show Xu Linlin.

"Tsk tsk tsk, pity your idol for a second." Xu Linlin shook her head.

"Stay away from death, go take a shower and go to bed quickly, calling for sleepy people every day." Su Nan urged Xu Linlin.

"Okay, okay, just wait for me obediently on the bed." Xu Linlin even cast a wink.

"Believe it or not, I shut you out." Su Nan waved her fist.

"All right, all right, I'm going to take a shower." Xu Linlin picked up his clothes and went to the bathroom.

Su Nan put on the earphones and continued watching.

Xu Linlin came out of the bathroom and Su Nan was already optimistic about playing with her mobile phone there.

"It's over so soon?" Xu Linlin wiped her hair and went to bed.

"I skipped and watched, so I went to see Wang Yuan, not for anything." Su Nan pushed Xu Linlin out of the bed, "Blow dry before coming up."

"All right, all right, I'll listen to you." Xu Linlin went to blow dry his hair several times.

"Okay, okay, let's talk at night." Xu Linlin blew her hair, turned off the light and got into bed.

"Why? No school tomorrow?" Su Nan charged the phone and turned it off.

"How is that possible? Even on weekends, we won't be spared." Xu Linlin felt tired thinking about it. "If it is possible, I must recruit students on my own. I am too tired to survive the college entrance examination."

"What are your exam grades?" Su Nan remembered mentioning it but forgot.

"The four A's are all B's." Xu Linlin thought for a while.

"Then this time is the selection test and the English college entrance examination, isn't it?" Su Nan asked Xu Linlin.

Xu Linlin nodded.

"Then if you perform normally, self-enrollment is actually very simple." Su Nan thought for a while, "Your grades are self-enrollment, the school must have it, it's good or bad."

"That's right, but actually I don't really want to go to a university in Zhejiang." Xu Linlin sighed.

"Is self-enrollment only available in the province?" Su Nan thought about it as if it was a pity, and then suddenly realized, "You can't let it go, people dream of going to Zhejiang to study, and you still want to go out."

"It's not that there are no good schools outside." Xu Linlin stretched his waist, "I just want to leave this place, the farther the better, XJ is also fine."

"See if you have that serious illness. What is XJ doing, selling mutton skewers." Su Nan looked at Xu Linlin with a smile.

"I think you are the only one who has a problem. XJ must sell mutton skewers. Then I will open a hot pot restaurant when I go to Chongqing." Xu Linlin looked at Su Nan like a mentally handicapped child.

"You know how to hate me every day." Su Nan reached out and hugged her neck.

"I admit defeat, I admit defeat." Xu Linlin quickly raised his hands in surrender.

"Hurry up and go to bed." Su Nan let go of her.

"Got it." Xu Linlin closed his eyes and stopped talking.

Su Nan turned to Xu Linlin and continued to swipe her phone, and fell asleep after swipe.

When she woke up again, there was nothing around her. Looking at the time, she might have finished her morning reading by now.

Su Nan got up and washed up, took a bottle of milk and a piece of toast, and hurried out to work.

I sat on the bus and looked at the time. It was [-]:[-], and I was relieved that I had time.

Although Nie Mang didn't know if he was late or not, Su Nan knew that although few people came to the pet shop at [-] o'clock, as a worker, it was fundamental not to be late.

Open the store door, look at the familiar animals, and then check the time, seven fifty-four, fortunately, not late.

Turn on the fan, well, a new day begins, let's work.

After finishing the basic sanitation, there were no customers, so I took a shower.

However, most of the guests are concentrated in the afternoon. Su Nan turned on the computer, played songs and sat on the bench to rest. It was just half past nine.

It is becoming more and more proficient, and it took a long time to do it before.

Su Nan thumped his shoulders, because he really lacked exercise.

Tired individuals.

"Are you free now?"

Su Nan looked up, it was Ye Chen.

"Kong, do you want to take a shower or what?" Su Nan stood up.

"I need foster care. My parents are going back to the countryside. It will be fine for a week, and my mother will come and get it." Ye Chen handed the dog to Su Nan.

"Okay. Is there anything I should pay attention to?" Su Nan put the dog into the cage and poured dog food and water.

"It's nothing. He's easy to take care of." Ye Chen took out his mobile phone, "I'll pay the amount first."

"Thirty for a day, two hundred and one for a week." Su Nan calculated.

"Okay." Ye Chen put down his phone and looked at the puppy in the cage, "Be good, or I'll sell you to a dog meat shop."

"Hahahahahaha. Why are you scaring him?" Su Nan smiled. "By the way, if you foster a dog, I will take him out for a walk every day, and I will send you a video when the time comes."

"It's okay. I trust you, so there's no need to post a video." Ye Chen shook his head.

After hearing this, Su Nan felt a sense of justice, "That won't work. This is my job, you have to listen to me."

Ye Chen was stunned and laughed, "Okay, okay, listen to you. Then you remember to send me videos every day."

Su Nan nodded, "Because I get off work at five o'clock, so I should walk him around after get off work and then go home, so I send you at this time almost every day."

"That's not delaying your get off work." Ye Chen looked at Su Nan.

"It's okay, anyway, I have nothing to do when I go home, I just write novels and sleep." Su Nan smiled, "My life is still quite boring."

Ye Chen looked at Su Nan seriously, "No! Can you write novels very well? I used to envy those who can write. By the way, will you publish it on the Internet?"

Su Nan nodded, "But not many people read it."

"It doesn't matter. What's the name of your novel, I'll cheer you up." Ye Chen took out his phone.

Su Nan was too embarrassed to speak out, so she took out her phone and showed it to Ye Chen.

"Oh oh oh, this, let me take a look, well, look, you have another fan." Ye Chen looked at Su Nan with a smile.

"Aren't you very busy at work?" Su Nan looked at him suspiciously.

"Actually, it's okay. We are on standby [-] hours a day, but small cities don't have as many things as big cities. Usually, we just put out a small fire, pry something, clear a hornet's nest, do some work for the aunt, and then Just send us out if someone wants to commit suicide.” Ye Chen smiled, “But sometimes, when you think about it, it’s good to do small things, at least it proves that the city is safe.”

Su Nan nodded, "Then do you often receive some weird things?"

Ye Chen became excited when he heard that, "That's too much, once a child got his hand stuck in the toilet in the middle of the night, and after he got it out, he asked him why he did it, and he said he wanted to know where the shit was flushed. Another time I went to the police station to help out. They couldn’t remove the handcuffs, and they got stuck there. They helped climb trees to catch cats, and stabbed hornet’s nests in various places. But there were also serious times, when I went to kindergarten, elementary school, middle school, and high school. To promote knowledge about firefighting. Another time, during a high school fire drill, wasn’t it necessary to burn paper in a bucket to create smoke? Dropped some test papers."

Su Nan listened with great interest, and Ye Chen talked more and more vigorously.

"It's nothing after that, but I've only been working for a few months. It's fun to have so many things, let alone some." Ye Chen nodded.

"Yeah, I thought your jobs were dangerous and tiring. But to be honest, you look so handsome when you work in uniform." Su Nan looked nympho.

"Then am I handsome?" Ye Chen looked at Su Nan expectantly.

Su Nan thought about it seriously, and when he thought of him holding his hand and grinning, his eyes were red and his veins were bulging, he really couldn't be more handsome.Although usually quite handsome.

Ye Chen watched and thought, and then he became embarrassed and sighed, "Okay, I understand, I understand."

"Hey, hey, although it doesn't look good when performing tasks, but the normal look is still okay." Su Nan compared Ye Chen with her hands, "Isn't this not bad?"

"When you praised me." Ye Chen shook his head.

"Don't you even go to work?" Su Nan had the impression that firefighters were too busy to eat.

"I also have a vacation, okay. I've been working for so long, so I'll let you off for two days, and I'll be with you for two days." Ye Chen was not convinced.

"Then you are nice to this dog." Su Nan looked at the dog sleeping in the cage.

"Because I'm usually at home except for work, and I don't have many friends. Maybe it's because I'm too stupid." He rubbed his head in embarrassment.

"What about your colleagues?" Su Nan looked at Ye Chen.

"They are the same as me. They work so long. After taking a day off, why do they think about going out to do something? They all stay at home. Except for those who are in love, they are busy seeing their girlfriends." Ye Chen sighed helplessly. "I am so tall that I have never held a girl's hand before."

Su Nan looked at Ye Chen in shock, "Have you never been in a relationship?"

Ye Chen nodded, "I used to like a girl when I was in school, and if I liked her, I would have a boyfriend."

"What a miserable secret love story." Su Nan smiled.

"By the way, speaking of it, why haven't I met your boyfriend? It's the boy in front of your hospital bed." Ye Chen looked at Su Nan.

Su Nan always felt that she had put it down and forgotten it, but suddenly brought it up again, and her heart was still blocked.

Su Nan smiled, "He may have something to do, so he left first."

"You guys? Broke up?" Ye Chen was a little surprised.

Su Nan waved her hand quickly, "He didn't mention it, and neither did I. He just has something urgent to deal with temporarily."

Ye Chen was taken aback and heaved a sigh of relief, "That boy was really nice to you. Didn't I not catch you at that time, did you fall? He was the one who broke down the most, compared to your indifferent family members Yes. Hey."

"Yes. He cares about me so much, why would he abandon me without saying a word?" Su Nan said in a low voice.

"What?" Ye Chen didn't hear clearly.

"Nothing. I'm just waiting for him to come back."

But Su Nan has changed all the contact information
Will he not be able to find himself because of this?
Is really too impulsive.

"Can I take a shower now?" A woman came in with a cat in her arms.

Su Nan quickly stood up, "Yes, yes."

"Then I won't bother you, let's go first." Ye Chen stood up.

Su Nan nodded to him and carried the cat to take a bath on the second floor.

Accepting this order is like accepting a beckoning cat, non-stop business, bathing, shearing, shopping, foster care, and even successfully sold a corgi, but it was a cheap one on the third floor.But there is also a [-]% commission, which is not bad.It would be even better if the ones on the first floor can be sold, the highest is [-].It was finally empty at two o'clock. Su Nan stroked his hungry stomach, ordered takeaway, and sat on the seat waiting for the rider to arrive.

Speaking of it, it's not winter, at most it's late autumn.Whenever a gust of wind blows, there are fallen leaves falling one after another.One morning, the street was already full of fallen leaves.

If it was in the past, Su Nan would definitely stand by the side of the road, blowing the breeze, watching the waves of maple leaves fall, beside her, in this world, she would still feel sorry for life, admire its beauty, and feel sorry for its life.

But now, Su Nan can only imagine the ferocious expression of the cursing and sweeping aunt the next day.

It really has changed.

I feel more and more impersonal.

More and more indifferent.

In the past, when I saw people begging on the side of the road, I would give half of the money in my hand.

When you see an old man selling things at a stall, you will go up to patronize.

When you see donations on the Internet, you don't hesitate to click in.

And so on.

But what about me now.

When you encounter beggars on the road, you will walk around them.

Because I have no extra money to help them.

When she saw people setting up stalls, even if they called her to buy some, she would not pay attention.

Because I feel that there is no need to spend money here.

When I saw the donation, I just crossed over like this.

Because I have a bad life, what capital do I have to help others.

But every time I think about it, I feel that I am so sad now.

Every day is a budget-conscious life.

Open your eyes and think about how to make money, close your eyes and think about how to save money.

Money seems to be on my mind every day.

How did I become the most hated look before.

Become like those people, the same as getting into the eyes of money.

What Su Nan is afraid of is not the present, but the fact that she will never feel guilty again in the future, but that she will take it for granted and go too far.

She didn't want to become an old woman who cared about everything and was greedy for money.

Su Nan went out to pick up the takeaway, opened the package, and looked at the wontons in the bowl.

In order to save money, she now has a bottle of milk, a piece of toast for breakfast, wontons for lunch, and no dinner.

Occasionally, I rest at home on weekends and buy something good in front of Xu Linlin.

Because she didn't want her to worry, and she didn't want her to know that she would be like this now.

A few times, in order to save two yuan for the bus, I would choose to walk home.

She was used to the half-hour walk back and forth.

But this kind of self has become very strange.

Su Nan sighed and finished eating the wontons, then started to work.

She tried to keep herself busy so that she had no time to think about other things.

It wasn't until Nie Mang came that Su Nan realized that it was time to get off work.

Suddenly relaxed, all of a sudden the feeling of exhaustion came out.

Nie Mang looked at her sweating profusely, "What are you doing? Your clothes are all wet? Are you so busy?"

Su Nan shook her head, "I'm just looking for something to do."

Su Nan took Ye Chen's dog and said, "I'll go out for a walk with the dog before I go back."

"Why don't you get off work first, I'll come later." Nie Mang looked at her.

Su Nan shook her head, "Anyway, this is my job. Besides, I'm off work, and you go out for a walk with the dog, what should the store do?"

"Okay, go back early." Nie Mang nodded.

Su Nan nodded and went out.

Autumn nights always come quickly.

The twilight at five o'clock has begun to slowly dissipate.

"Su Nan!"

Su Nan turned her head, it was Ye Chen, who had just come out of the community, and ran over with a smile in a blue T-shirt.

"Get off work?" Ye Chen ran to Su Nan's side.

Su Nan nodded, "I'm going back after walking the dog."

"It's really hard work for you." Ye Chen rubbed his head embarrassingly.

"It's not free, why are you embarrassed?" Su Nan looked at Ye Chen, "Are you going?"

"I'm going back to work. The vacation is over." Ye Chen looked at Su Nan.

"So fast." Su Nan was a little shocked.

"Anyway, I usually play with my colleagues at work." Ye Chen looked at the dog peeing against the tree. "He shouldn't pee and shit in your store, because if he dares to do this at home, my mother to beat him."

Su Nan nodded, "He didn't have it all day today, only when he pulls it out to play now."

Ye Chen knelt down and petted the dog, "Really, I didn't react at all when I saw me."

"You dog is so cold." Su Nan smiled and watched the dog walk forward after pulling it, and Ye Chen who followed him, "Aren't you in a hurry to go back to work?"

He shook his head, "Just go back tonight."

Su Nan nodded.

"Then you don't go home now?" Ye Chen looked at Su Nan.

Su Nan shook her head, "They already have new children, why should I be thankless."

"Eighteen years, if you say no, you don't want them, will you hate them?" Ye Chen looked at Su Nan worriedly.

Su Nan smiled, "Why do you hate them? In fact, if I were a parent, I probably wouldn't want such a child. I don't have good grades, I don't look good, I'm withdrawn and sensitive, and my emotions go up and down all day long. Like a monster. I can’t hold my head up in front of relatives. And I have to worry about this and that every day. And I’m weak and sick, and the family that’s not well-to-do has to borrow money to see it. It’s not necessarily effective. Then at this time, there is A girl with a good personality, good grades, good body, and good looks needs a parent, and I may choose to abandon myself."

"Don't make yourself so worthless, everyone has a reason for her existence." Ye Chen patted Su Nan, "Since it can't be changed, then forget about these things and move on."

"Actually, why don't you know the truth? But if I just let go of everything and forgive myself, I really can't do it all at once. Every time I comfort others, I always do it well, but when it comes to myself, I have nothing to do." Su Nan sighed .

"It's true. Just like the thing about you, although you are still alive and well. But I can't forgive myself when I think I didn't catch you at that time." Ye Chen sighed .

"I can't blame you for this matter. A person who is determined to leave, no matter how hard you try, she will always leave. You tried your best to save her, but you really only left her temporarily." Su Nan smiled at Ye Chen.

"Then no matter what, it's my responsibility to save you. Just like at that time, if you really didn't save you, you wouldn't be what you are now. In fact, whether you said you would regret it or not, in fact, you would regret it sooner or later. So, you still have to learn to let go." Ye Chen tried hard to enlighten Su Nan.

"You really said that I'm straight and straight, you yourself. As a firefighter, this kind of thing will definitely happen more and more in the future, then you will collapse sooner or later." Su Nan laughed at him. .

Ye Chen nodded, "That's what I said, but no matter how many times I meet people like this, I will try my best to save them every time. At least I have tried my best."

Su Nan sighed, "I don't know why. In this world, the suicide rate is getting higher and higher."

"Yes, in the past, if someone committed suicide, it would be a sensation across the country, but now, it seems to be a very normal thing. Is the world getting worse, or are people getting more and more vulnerable? .” Ye Chen shook his head.

"All of them. It's becoming more and more difficult to survive in this world, let alone a happy life. Then people's hearts are becoming more and more fragile, as if they can no longer be strong." Su Nan looked completely dark. The sky that is cleared, just like this sky, after the light, it will definitely usher in darkness.

"Let's go, take your dog back to the store. It's time for me to get off work too." Su Nan turned and went back.

Ye Chen looked at the time, "It's almost time for me, it's time to take the bus."

"Okay. See you next time." Su Nan waved to him.

After putting the dog back, Su Nan was ready to go back.

Sitting on the bus, Su Nan suddenly remembered the last time she met her parents.

She was sitting on the hospital bed that day, and Zhu Hao had disappeared for three days.

Parents opened the door and came in to look at Su Nan who was pale.

"When are you going to be discharged from the hospital?" Mom sat beside Su Nan.

"Anytime." Su Nan didn't want to struggle anymore.

"Then what do you want? Tell us?" Dad looked at Su Nan.

Su Nan looked up at them impatiently.

"We haven't done anything to apologize to you, have we? You want to torture us like this?" Dad continued.

"We bear your temper and don't say anything. If you are sick, we will lend you money to see a doctor. We didn't abuse you." Mom agreed.

Su Nan shook her head.

"Then why do you think so much all day long? You commit suicide all the time. You said you didn't let yourself die by committing suicide. You hang around like this every day. Do you think it's easy to earn hundreds of thousands?" Dad looked at Su Nan.

"I really don't understand. You are so happy, what do you want to do? We didn't have any books to read at that time, and we couldn't even eat. You are not as pitiful as you are." Mom sighed, "No Those who know think we have abused you. Did I not give you food, or did I not let you study, or did I not give you money?"

"Nothing." Su Nan responded lightly.

"Then why are you doing this to us? Did we owe you in our previous life?" Mom looked at Su Nan.

Su Nan shook her head.

"What crime did I really do to give birth to a daughter like you? Did I work so hard to give birth to you to torture me? I don't read books, I just hang around all day long. You said you are as tall as you are Look good, and marry a rich husband in the future. Who wants you now? You are not as good as you were when you were a child. Look at yourself. "Dad talked eloquently.

Su Nan looked at the parents in front of you who said something to me.

"Then you just don't want me." Su Nan couldn't listen anymore.

"You said it yourself, it's not that we don't want you anymore." Mom suddenly looked at Su Nan.

Su Nan looked at them in a daze, until they left Su Nan didn't understand what it was.

Thinking about it now, it seems as if they had planned it long ago, that is to say, they actually had this plan a long time ago, and they were already disappointed with Su Nan.

Su Nan looked at the scenery outside the window, they could give up on themselves so easily, why couldn't they let go.

So be it, the knot in my heart seems to be getting lighter.

Just relax in this late autumn.

(End of this chapter)