departure tomorrow

Chapter 77 What is it for?

Su Nan opened her eyes, isn't this her junior high school?
"Why is this person so ugly?"

"Look at her like that."

"She stinks."

"Hey, stay away from me!"

Su Nan turned her head to look, wasn't she the one wearing a hat and walking with her head down.

She used to hear these pointing voices when she was walking on the road.

But at this time, that person would always appear and scold them very gently.

Sure enough, he rushed out from the teaching building to scold those people, and turned to comfort Su Nan.

For Su Nan who has just entered puberty, he is the first ray of light.

After such a long time, it seemed logical that he confessed his love to her.

Then it was like this together.

So the voice around her got louder.

"Is her family rich?"

"I heard that the school's new library was donated by her family."

"See what's on her face?"

"How could he be with her so disgusting?"

"Probably blind."

"Don't they all say that handsome men match ugly women?"

"."

He always has her in his arms.

She naively thought this was liking.

Su Nan looked at all this numbly.

"Can you accompany me home to get something? I'll play basketball tonight and take you to see it."

He appeared downstairs in Su Nan riding a battery car.

That day, Su Nan deliberately put on the white dress that she likes most but dare not wear.

Then he took her back, and he asked Su Nan to sit on the sofa and wait for him to go back to the room to get something.

Su Nan watched him call Su Nan on the sofa in the room, "Could you come and help me?"

Su Nan walked into his room, didn't see him, turned around and saw him smiling at herself behind the door.

He locked the door, turned off the light, approached Su Nan, and covered her mouth.

She locked herself in the bathroom for four hours that day.

After I came out, I cried all night in a dark room.

Later, he broke up logically, and gave her a note when he left.

"Don't Tell Others"

He graduated.

gone.

The gossip was left behind.

"He also said she was disgusting."

"Look at it, and I'll say she's that kind of person."

"I feel like throwing up in the same class as her."

"She still has the nerve to live in the world."

"She is that person's ex-girlfriend, that's all."

"."

Su Nan looked at herself crouching in the corner.

A self full of scars.

Since then, she never dared to wear a white skirt.

Never trust others again.

Don't dare to mention this to anyone, not even that person.

But no matter where I seem to be unable to get rid of that memory.

When someone said the words help me get something.

When others close the door.

In as long as it is dark.

while lying in bed.

When you only need to hear any word in his name.

When in a dream.

When seeing the opposite sex laugh.

when seeing couples.

When standing downstairs at home.

Obviously he has disappeared from his life for a long time.

But his shadow is everywhere.

She dared not speak a word.

She can only torture herself.

Su Nan looked at herself who was covered in yogurt and was crying.

I thought about the self in my dream who was happy even in death.

It turns out that such a long period of good memory is just a dream of my own.

She doesn't know why.

In my own life, family, classmates, illness, teachers, school, friends, life, no one can let her go.

What did I do wrong.

Obviously, life is slowly getting better.

She couldn't survive.

"Su Nan, can you wake up?"

Su Nan turned her head and saw nothing.

The self who was crouching in the corner disappeared too.

This is at?
The first home.

The home that no longer exists.

Su Nan looked at this small house with one bedroom and one living room.

Think again about living in that home with two floors.

"Su Nan, please wake up, please."

Listening to this voice, Su Nan felt very familiar.

Who is it?
"I shouldn't have married you in the first place!"

"You think I'd like to marry you! If you weren't pregnant!"

"."

Su Nan turned to look at the two people who were arguing.

It's my parents.

Next to him, he was doing his homework calmly.

After arguing and arguing, the two started to fight.

Pushing and pushing, I picked up the things next to me and started smashing them.

Su Nan sat there doing her homework without saying a word, as if nothing happened.

"Snapped!"

A glass hit Su Nan's body, and the snow-white shirt was stained red after a while.

She rubbed her back, got up and bypassed the quarreling people to the toilet, took off her clothes and began to wash, "It needs to be cleaned, this school uniform will be worn tomorrow."

Su Nan stood behind her and looked at her bleeding back, then silently turned her head to look at her parents who were still arguing.

They used to be very affectionate.

Turning his head again, he was gone, and the parents who were arguing were also gone.

"What's wrong with drawing me a picture?"

Su Nan looked at the person who spoke.

Looking around, this is Su Nan's studio where he has been painting for seven years.

At this time, Su Nan had just returned from winning the competition.

"Is it great to win an award?" The person who spoke grabbed a bunch of freshly sharpened pens and threw them at Su Nan's face.

"Bah, what are you pretending to do?" She gave Su Nan a blank look.

Su Nan looked at the swallowing self in front of her, and didn't know what to say.

She lowered her head and picked up the pens one by one.

Touching the scratch marks on his face, he got up and went to the toilet to wash his face.

Su Nan looked at herself who went out, and then turned to look at the portrait on the easel that had just been completed, if I remember correctly.

That's right, the girl came back just now, holding a paintbrush covered in red paint, which should have been taken from the gouache class next door.

Pick up a pen and write the word "big bitch" on the painting on the easel and leave.

At this time, after washing her face, she came back and looked at the graffitied painting calmly, tore it off, picked up a piece of paper and started drawing again.

As soon as the screen changed, this was the teacher's office.

"You said you would never draw again?" The teacher looked at Su Nan in front of him in surprise.

She nodded, said sorry, and left. After that, she never touched the brush again.

She doesn't like drawing.

Never liked it.

She seems to have been an outlier since she was a child.

The surroundings returned to darkness.

"Wake up, okay?"

The voice choked up and said.

What is this voice?
Zhu Hao?

Su Nan looked up, only endless darkness.

There?Is it light?
Su Nan walked towards the bright place.

Getting closer and closer.

Yes?
Su Nan suddenly felt as if he had stepped on an empty space.

Su Nan, who was lying on the hospital bed, opened her eyes abruptly.

It hurts, it hurts everywhere.

Su Nan raised her hand, with something wrapped around her middle finger.The other hand was infusing, and touched his mouth, which was covered with an oxygen mask.Along the sides are familiar instruments.

No nasal feeding, no catheterization.

Su Nan breathed a sigh of relief.

but this room is
Su Nan looked out of the window from the corner of her eye, and there was a balcony outside.

what.

I remembered.

Painfully touching the bandaged wound on his head.There is also something around the neck.

My feet hurt too.

My waist hurts too.

It hurts everywhere, so painful that I can't make a sound.

"Okay, okay, you go to buy food, it's okay, I'll watch her here." The door opened and a person walked in.

Su Nan watched her walk over.

This is?

Yin Yun.

Yin Yun looked at her phone and sat next to Su Nan.

Su Nan just looked at her like this.

She also seemed to feel something and looked up.

The two looked at each other awkwardly.

She seemed to have finally come to her senses.

"I'll go, I'll go! Wake up!" Yin Yun jumped up from the bed and ran out to shout.

This is?crazy?
Then a bunch of doctors came in, behind, followed?

It's the police, if I'm not mistaken.

What have I done?
When is suicide illegal?

"Is there something uncomfortable?" The doctor looked at Su Nan.

"No." Su Nan said hoarsely.

The doctor nodded.Turned around and said something to the police and then all went out.

Su Nan saw that only Yin Yun was left in the room, and wanted to look elsewhere, but found that her neck could not move at all.

He could only hold out his hand tremblingly.

Seeing this, Yin Yun quickly came over and grabbed Su Nan, "What's wrong?"

"Many, how long has it been?" Su Nan looked at Yin Yun.

"You want to ask how long you have been in a coma, right? One day, you had an accident at this time yesterday." Yin Yun looked at Su Nan, "Oh, yes, Zhu Hao went out to buy food. I think he is very depressed recently , I just wanted to let him relax."

"Yeah." Su Nan wanted to nod and found that his neck couldn't move.

"You'd better lie down. Your leg is broken, your neck is about the same, your waist has also suffered a big impact, and you have a concussion. It's not good anyway." Yin Yun sighed.

"Bong!"

The door was slammed open.

Su Nan wanted to see what was going on, but couldn't see it.

Then she saw the panting Zhu Hao appearing in her sight.

"Then, I'll go out first, call me for something." Yin Yun quietly closed the door.

"you"

Su Nan didn't say anything yet, Zhu Haogui started crying beside the bed.

"Oh, why are you crying?" Su Nan tremblingly stretched out her hand and placed it on Zhu Hao's head.

"I thought you were going to leave me again." Zhu Hao raised his head and grabbed Su Nan's hand.

"Don't cry. I'm tired of saying a word." Su Nan wanted to take off the oxygen mask with his other hand.

"No!" Zhu Hao grabbed Su Nan's other hand and put it down, "Don't move!"

"Okay." Su Nan replied helplessly.

Zhu Hao reached out to tidy up Su Nan's hair.

"Well, that, it's not that I want to disturb you, the nurse just gave me this and told Su Nan to drink it." Yin Yun gave Zhu Hao a glass of something, "I'm going out."

Zhu Hao looked at the things in his hand, and then at Su Nan on the bed, "How do you drink this?"

"Shake me up, then take off the oxygen mask, and drink again." Su Nan looked at Zhu Hao helplessly.

"Oh oh oh." Zhu Hao suddenly realized.

As the height stretched, Su Nan felt more and more painful.

"Can this really be taken off?" Zhu Hao looked at the oxygen mask a little bit embarrassed.

Su Nan raised her hand and took off the oxygen mask by herself.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Zhu Hao looked at Su Nan anxiously.

"I'm not comfortable anywhere." Su Nan looked at Zhu Hao, "You gave me something."

"Oh, oh, I forgot." Zhu Hao inserted the straw and handed it to Su Nan.

Su Nan took a few sips and didn't want to drink anymore.

Because she is getting more and more uncomfortable.

"Zhu Hao." Su Nan looked at Zhu Hao who was covering himself with a quilt.

"What's wrong?" Zhu Hao looked at the haggard Su Nan.

"sorry."

Although many people feel sorry for Su Nan, the only person who makes Su Nan feel sorry is Zhu Hao.

"Don't talk about that." Zhu Hao reached out and put the oxygen mask back on for Su Nan.

"Can you go out for a while? Let me stay by myself for a while." Su Nan looked at Zhu Hao.

Zhu Hao was stunned for a moment, put Su Nan flat, nodded and went out to close the door.

Su Nan looked at Daxia and Su Mu who had been standing beside her since she woke up.

"You said that you didn't live well, and you didn't die well. Now you have become like this ghost, life is worse than death, what are you trying to do?" Su Mu changed his previous attitude and looked at her gently.

"I didn't expect that I couldn't even die." Su Nan forced a smile.

"Do you know your current body? There are serious injuries everywhere. But these injuries are not fatal. Do you like to torture yourself?" Su Mu asked incomprehensibly.

"I shouldn't have come back with a soft heart in the first place." Su Nan remembered what his grandfather said to him at the end, how good it would be to take me away.

"What is she talking about?" Da Xia asked Su Nan beside him.

"How do I know." Su Mu shook his head.

"I really don't know if you were lucky or something. Originally, you had no chance to live. Both he and I thought that we were going to disappear. When we were about to disappear, there was a sudden force that took you away. Your consciousness is pulled back, which is equivalent to holding you on the edge of a cliff, at least it won’t kill you immediately, it just hangs your life. But after this force has protected your consciousness for a long time, it suddenly comes back Disappeared without a trace. Only your consciousness was left behind. Then we woke up." Su Mu looked at Su Nan who was dumbfounded, "Wow, is there something protecting you?"

After listening to Su Mu's words, Su Nan fell into deep thought, could it be?Is it grandpa?Didn't he disappear before my eyes after saving me?

"Hey, hey, why are you crying?" Su Mu looked at Su Nan who suddenly started crying.

In the end, it was the person Su Nan tried his best to protect but tried his best to protect her.

How desperate he must have been at the moment of disappearance. He didn't see his granddaughter living happily, but instead looked like he was dying.

Su Nan took off the oxygen mask.

"What are you doing?" Su Mu looked at Su Nan who was crying and clutching his chest, "What did I say?"

In the end, the person who loved me was hurt, whether it was grandpa or Zhu Hao.

sorry
"Cough, cough, cough"

"I'm going, why did you vomit blood? You, you, you called someone, why did you call him out?" Su Mu wanted to help her but couldn't touch her at all.

"Think of a way, isn't it usually very powerful?" Su Mu pushed the hero next to him.

"How do I know what to do?" Da Xia looked at her helplessly.

why.
Always can't get what you want?
Su Nan thought of how his grandfather disappeared in the end, even if he was about to cease to exist, he was telling Su Nan not to blame himself and live a good life.

What I did by myself really only hurt the people who love me.

And those people, themselves are just a joke in their mouths.

Is it really my fault?
But is living in such pain really the right choice?
Su Nan looked at the calm Su Mu and Da Xia in despair.

"We seem to be really going to disappear." Su Mu looked at Su Nan and then at the heroes beside him.

The hero nodded, "Su Nan, if there is a next life, I hope you can do well instead of creating us again."

This is?Are you really going to die?
Maybe, since I was born, it was a wrong choice.

From the moment she was born, it was destined to be a joke.

Then why did God give her hope after giving her so much despair.

If they were all desperate, she could leave without hesitation.

She was never told what to do.

There has never been a person or a thing that made Su Nan feel happy to be alive.

Su Nan felt the pain all over her body getting stronger and stronger, as if surrounded by fire.

The nearby instruments started beeping.

She looked at the ceiling in despair.

There is only the piercing sound of beeping beeping in my ears.

A bunch of doctors rushed in, Su Nan became more and more blurred, and his vision in front of him became blurred.

Grandpa, I'm sorry, I didn't live a good life again as you wished.

Su Nan closed her eyes and heard only the harsh siren.

(End of this chapter)