departure tomorrow

Chapter 64
How long has it been?

Su Nan sat on a chair basking in the sun in a daze.

I just finished treatment and don't want to go back to the ward.

Mom went out to buy things, and she didn't know when she would come back.

For some reason, Su Nan likes to be alone and think about things.

How long has it been.

It seems that I have always been alone...

but……

Who is next to me?

Zhu Hao?Xu Linlin?Wang Lihui?hero?Jiang Ziwen?
Or...the so-called Su Nan?

Alas...it's been a long time.

Always alone?
Su Nan's head is very confused at the moment, she feels that she can't remember anything clearly, she doesn't know what she is thinking, and the word order is messed up...

Is it deliberately becoming a person...

Even if there were people around, Su Nan pushed them away one by one.

Even Zhu Hao.

There are no exceptions.

Su Nan felt so tired, every day.

I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know what I should do.

Time doesn't hold true here.

Su Nan was very sad.

She wanted to smash things, yell, even stab people, stab herself, but reason told Su Nan that she couldn't.

But Su Nan was about to lose her mind. She always felt that one day, she would die by her own hands.

She could not find the so-called sun.

The day is good, but she is not good.

The sun still shines on Su Nan, but Su Nan only feels cold.

Is there a future?
really?
what is the future?
die?
Su Nan closed her eyes, and the dazzling sun told Su Nan that she was still alive.

Live like the walking dead.

For whom?for what?
Don't know the answer.

In the past few months, there have been too many things, and I am too tired.

I can't catch up with the shining self I used to be.

At this moment, Su Nan suddenly didn't want anything.

I don't want anything anymore.

She just wanted to close her eyes and not wake up.

She closed her eyes.

Depressed to the bottom, but extremely irritable, Su Nan looked at the pedestrians coming and going, and she even wanted to rush up to fight or be beaten.

She thought she was probably crazy.

Isn't it just crazy? How could it appear here without being crazy?
Really funny.

Su Nan didn't know what to do.

Don't think about anything, so be it.

It's time to let go, otherwise how can we continue to live?

Anyway, let's live first.

Su Nan opened his eyes.

The world doesn't change, never will.

What about trying to change yourself?

Su Nan didn't know how to describe his mood at this moment.

Happy and sad.

She didn't know how to face herself.

Her mind kept telling herself that she was too miserable.

Is that so?
What are the facts?

Su Nan couldn't see clearly.

She has been living in a dark and humid corner for so many years.

It has been since childhood.

When will this day end?
Every time I want to end it, there will always be a lot of voices jumping out and making noise around Su Nan's ears, so that Su Nan can't forget.

"Do you want to forget us?"

"How could you forget us?"

"Do you deserve to forget?"

……

Should I forget?

There's a voice in your head that keeps saying, you shouldn't forget, you can't forget.

Su Nan kept those bad memories in her heart and didn't send them away. She just looked at them like this every day...

She can't put it down or pick it up...

Don't know what to do.

Everyone is saying that she is not good, knows nothing, and is not good at anything.

Su Nan stared blankly at the sky. Will there be another life? Will the next life be like this?

A good-for-nothing person...

Su Nan felt that she was getting worse and worse. Recently, she had the urge to commit crimes, to stab people, and to strangle people when she saw animals. Su Nan was very afraid of this feeling.

She didn't know what was wrong with herself.

I don't know what to do.

Su Nan sighed, the hero who usually appeared was also missing at this moment.

After all, you still have to face it alone.

Su Nan dared not even get close to people recently, she was really afraid of being stabbed.

What happened to her...

"Then let it out."

A voice came from beside Su Nan.

Su Nan looked up, and as expected, he was a hero.

"Human, it's okay to be selfish." The hero sat down beside Su Nan.

"I don't know." Su Nan was silent.

"Don't worry about anything." The hero said.

"But what should I do if I want to stab someone?" Su Nan frowned.

"Then poke it." A contemptuous smile came from behind Su Nan, "Do you dare?"

Su Nan looked back, it was Su Mu.

Su Mu came over and sat down on the other side of Su Nan.

Su Nan looked at Su Mu and then at the hero.

"What are you looking at? Haven't you seen me?" Su Mu raised his legs.

"Don't listen to her nonsense, you can't do things that violate the law, even if you don't dare." The hero said seriously.

"I know." Su Nan nodded.

"If you think about it, it will pass." The hero said.

"You need to think more openly? You really know how to comfort people." Su Mu smiled.

"I can't go on with you." The hero shook his head and disappeared.

Su Mu glanced at Su Nan, shook his head and disappeared.

Su Nan was left alone again.

Su Nan sighed.

The world has changed, maybe it's not that the world has changed, but that she has changed, she has become a stranger, and she doesn't know herself anymore, she doesn't know what's wrong with herself, the obedient and kind-hearted woman she used to be is gone Now, she has a changeable temperament, irritable, incompetent, cowardly, all bad words are reflected in her body, she knows that she is finished, the former self is dead, and the current self is becoming No good, becoming less of a person.

And the only way to change is to die, because then you cease to exist.But she knew that this day would be difficult to come, but she also knew that this day would come sooner or later.

Sooner or later, she will die in this so-called kind world, be reduced to ashes, and cease to exist.

Gone forever.

She wants to make a wish, that is not to have an afterlife, because she doesn't want to live again in this world.

She doesn't want to, and she doesn't want to.

Everything is too difficult, her life.

She often tells herself that there are many, many people in the world who lack arms and legs, and who have a rough fate, and there are many, many people who are worse than herself and uglier than herself, but she just can't let go of it.

For her, all of this, at least for herself, she couldn't get through.

She didn't know when she could change it, at least it couldn't be changed now.

So be it, what else can you expect.

Su Nan got up, and her mother came from a distance.

"This pineapple is always cheap, and this and this..." Mom chatted with Su Nan with several bags of fruit.

Su Nan looked at her smiling mother, hey, let's live for her mother anyway.

That's right, let's live for this first.

(End of this chapter)