departure tomorrow

Chapter 63
This is Su Nan's third day in hospital.

Yes, I was hospitalized again without accident.

Su Nan suddenly didn't know what to do.

How long has it been?
Su Nan sat blankly in front of the hospital bed, as if it had been a long, long time, so long that she couldn't remember how many days it was.

How many days have passed since the first time I felt the breakdown? When was the first breakdown? It seemed to be the time I cried in the heavy rain, or the first time I felt that I was not normal .

Should I accept my fate?

Su Nan looked out of the window, and there were tall buildings with invisible roofs outside the window, just like this empty life, which could not be seen at a glance.

What if you accept your fate?
What will happen if you accept your fate, continue to degenerate, and live in a mental hospital for the rest of your life?
What about not accepting fate?Forced treatment in a mental hospital?

What is the right choice?
When can I let myself go.

Su Nan sighed, she really wanted to escape from all this, but unfortunately she couldn't, she wasn't that brave, she was destined to be a weak grass.

To be honest, indeed, Su Nan admits that her life is not bad. Compared with many people, she has had a very good life, but ah, it is very difficult. Her life is very difficult for her. It's too difficult.

Whether it is a happy family for others, or a good friend in the eyes of others, everything is a burden to Su Nan.

"It's the heavy burden you put on yourself." The hero suddenly appeared and stood in front of Su Nan.

"But what can I do?" Su Nan looked up.

"Let it go slowly."

Su Nan smiled, what he said was really easy.

"It's because you don't want to let yourself go," the hero sighed helplessly.

Yes, it's my own problem.

Su Nan looked up again, and the hero was gone.

Drop drop drop drop.

Turning on the phone, it was Jiang Ziwen.

Jiang Ziwen: How are you doing recently?

Hey, what else can I do.

Su Nan: I'm hospitalized.

Jiang Ziwen: Why are you hospitalized again?
Su Nan: Adjust the medicine.

Jiang Ziwen: I am also hospitalized, and I am not with you anymore.

Su Nan: What is your reason?

Jiang Ziwen: The liver function is very bad. I sent it to Dr. Mao, and he said it was troublesome.

Su Nan: Did you take too much medicine?

Su Nan remembered the sack of medicine she left the hospital last time.

Jiang Ziwen: The director said that it has reduced a lot for me, and some medicines have almost no side effects.

Su Nan: Then what should we do?

Jiang Ziwen; I don’t know. I’ve been sleeping very badly for the past few days. I tossed and turned and couldn’t fall asleep. It’s so painful. I slept for half a night the night before, and I still couldn’t fall asleep during the day. I took medicine yesterday, and I didn’t wake up at all. Dim and dim, I didn’t fall asleep completely. Later, I added another medicine, and then it was all a dream. I woke up every two hours, and I had auditory hallucinations a few times. I also responded that I heard it too.

Su Nan frowned, why did she feel that she was getting more and more serious?

Su Nan: Why do I feel that you are getting more and more serious, and there is nothing the doctor can do?

Jiang Ziwen: I also think so, there will be a day when this goes on like this.

Su Nan: Always believe that everything will be fine.

Jiang Ziwen: It’s been more than a year, and I’m getting more and more disappointed. After spending so much money, I’m still like this. I lie in bed every day and don’t want to do anything.

Su Nan sighed, she didn't know how to comfort her, just like she didn't know how to lie to herself.

But no matter what, words of comfort must be said after all.

Su Nan: When you are well, let's go out to play together.

Jiang Ziwen: Good.

Su Nan no longer knew what to say.

Finally said a few words and said goodbye.

Putting down the phone, Su Nan could only feel deep helplessness and sadness.

The relationship doesn't feel like it used to.

And she...
Such hard work in treatment and life in the sun is nothing but nothing. What are you doing so hard?

Spending tens of thousands of dollars in this hospital, what are you doing?

It would be nice if I could leave without regret.

Su Nan was paralyzed on the bed. She wanted to leave the hospital. When will she be able to live in the hospital?

She used to think that it would be good to be hospitalized and to have a doctor.

But she doesn't feel that way now.

She once thought that it would be good to change the environment, but she was wrong, no matter where she fled, she couldn't get rid of it, because the one who should get rid of was herself.

There was nothing she could do.

She couldn't save herself anymore, she started to give up on herself, and she could do whatever she wanted.Anyway, it's me who is sad, and it's fine if others don't think so.

Do whatever you want, do whatever you want, and let everything be like this.

Su Nan was lying on the bed listening to the occasional screams from outside. Someone must have refused treatment, and she would have been forced to take a sedative and then tied up.

Su Nan just didn't want to be like this, so she obediently cooperated with the treatment, doing whatever she was asked to do, and even cooperating with the performance even if she was unwilling, so that everyone said she was very obedient and not sick at all, right? Treatment, like that, might as well cooperate obediently.

Many people are still fine when they come in, but sometimes they are too lively or something, and then become crazy and demented after a long time, Su Nan doesn't want to become like that.

It can't be said that the system is not good, after all, he is a mental patient and can only be treated in a special way.

Hey, Su Nan gradually calmed down after listening to the tragic screams, it seems that the effect of the medicine has worked.

All poor people.

How many people have been affected by this disease........
Hope, our lives can all be like the sun, which will rise to a higher place sooner or later.

It's time to get up.

Su Nan picked up the treatment sheet beside the bed, and it was time for treatment.

After saying hello to my mother who was chatting in the next room, I left.

Lying on the treatment bed, Su Nan felt groggy, wondering what he was doing every day.

What are you doing.

Su Nan looked at the ceiling. At this moment, she seemed to be dead, lifeless.

She doesn't want to die or live.She felt that her existence was superfluous. Every day, no matter what her mood was at this moment, she would never have a reason to exist.

It shouldn't be her who survived in the first place.

It would have been nice if she had been knocked out in the first place.

Unfortunately, there is no if.

Su Nan closed her eyes and didn't think about anything, but she was very irritable and couldn't calm down.

Su Nan opened her eyes, listening to the loud voice above her head, she didn't know what to do.She doesn't want to do it anymore.

But the facts tell her no, she can't do this, she is a good girl, she can't do this.

But when will this kind of life end?

Su Nan didn't know, and no one knew.

Such a muddle-headed life, Su Nan can only live, not knowing what to do every day, and being forced to do something every day.

That's it, a voice in Su Nan's mind said to Su Nan.

So be it, no matter who lives in your mind, how much medicine you need to take every day, how much treatment you need, just be it.

(End of this chapter)