departure tomorrow

Chapter 60 What Did You Do Wrong?
"How are you doing recently? Zhu Hao is in the dormitory holding a mobile phone to make a video call with Su Nan.

"It's pretty good." Su Nan held her nose.

"Is this your sister?"

A boy stood behind Zhu Hao wiping his hair.

"This is my girlfriend." Zhu Hao turned his head and said.

"Wow..." The boy suddenly didn't know what to say, "True love..."

Su Nan suddenly felt her heart skip a beat.

Because she has heard this sentence before...

"Get lost." Zhu Hao scolded that person.

"Don't pay attention to him, my family Su Nan is very good." Zhu Hao said to Su Nan with a smile.

Su Nan forced a smile, and cheered herself up in her heart, "Okay, I know."

"Okay, don't think too much, go to bed early." Zhu Hao tapped the screen.

"Okay." Su Nan smiled and hung up the phone.

Su Nan picked up the mirror on the table and looked at herself, really... the past few months have changed too much...

Because of taking hormones, I gained [-] pounds, and my face was swollen and dark.And because of the mental medicines, her endocrine system was severely disturbed, her face was full of acne, and her pores were so big that Su Nan felt like she could hold sesame seeds.The whole person is very haggard, wearing pajamas like an aunt.

"How did it become like this..." Su Nan touched himself in the mirror with red eyes.

Sudden waves of powerlessness surged up.

She thought of the pictures of those people satirizing herself...

"His girlfriend is Su Nan... True love, true love..."

"It's really a toad eating swan meat..."

"She didn't even look for a mirror to look in..."

"I'm obsessed..."

"Sooner or later..."

"It's a shame..."

"I really want to laugh to death..."

"I don't know what to do when I was born..."

"..."

Su Nan scratched her head and screamed silently, tears all over her face.

"Snapped!"

The mirror was smashed to pieces on the ground.

Su Nan got under the table, and the small space temporarily gave her a sense of security.

Why...it's me...

All of a sudden, all my memories were turned upside down, from the death of my grandfather, to being diagnosed with bipolar disorder, to being misdiagnosed with lymphoma, and to having hamartoma and polycystic soft nests.

What are these...

such a bad me...

I don't know where the self-confidence in the past has been thrown, and it has been wiped out in an instant.

When did you become so vulnerable?Because of what someone else said?
Or... In fact, I was originally like this...

That's right... why bother... I'm already very bad...

What can I get out of it?The grades are in a mess... I am causing trouble to my parents... I am nothing after so many years of painting... I am ugly... and I have body odor... I am just a street mouse that everyone shouts and beats... What qualifications do I have? what……

Su Nan held herself tightly, not knowing what to do.

Suddenly, the lenses all over the floor gave Su Nan an impulse. She grabbed the lenses and cut them off towards her wrist. After a while, blood flowed out. Su Nan seemed to have calmed down a little while looking at the bright red liquid.

Why...it's me...

Those bad memories flowed out together with the blood, everything...is all because of my own badness...

I have been taught since I was a child that being bullied is my own problem, but... I am not willing to treat anyone like this, but everyone always has the heart to treat me like this...

Is it because I am too bad...

All of this... Is it all on my own?

Su Nan looked at the red dots falling drop by drop on the ground...it was dark red...was it because of his own sepsis...

A person who is nothing is really a waste of the earth's resources...

Su Nan slumped helplessly on the ground...

So be it……

Su Nan cried until his vision was blurred, and he seemed to see his grandfather stretching out his hand towards him in a daze.

"Grandpa..."

Su Nan didn't know what to do.

After wiping away the tears, there was peace in front of my eyes again, the quietness of being empty.

Su Nan took a napkin and wiped the ground clean, then wiped his wrists, the blood had stopped by itself.

Su Nan sat on the ground blankly, staring at the deep knife marks in a daze.

What's wrong with me...

Inexplicably, a sense of grievance welled up in my heart, why...

How can it be so fragile...

"Su Nan..."

Su Nan looked up at the hero who had been around for some time.

"Am I very useless?" Su Nan looked at the hero aggrievedly.

"No, it's their fault." The hero stepped forward and hugged Su Nan.

Su Nan burst into tears in the hero's arms.

She has never felt so wronged. Since she was a child, she couldn't do anything well, no matter what, everyone was talking and swearing, but Su Nan didn't know what she did wrong at all.

What did she do wrong...

At this moment, her memory suddenly became better, and all those unsightly memories emerged, crying day and night, humiliating in front of others, just for having a friend, everything made Su Nan feel Heavy, she tried not to listen and not to care about those things, but the truth told Su Nan that it was not that easy.

"It's all over...it's okay." The hero patted Su Nan lightly, "A new life has started again..."

Su Nan gradually calmed down in the arms of the hero.

"It's all their fault, you are not wrong, you are fine, don't doubt it." The hero let go of Su Nan.

Su Nan's cell phone kept vibrating, and the hero sighed, "Pick it up, don't drive away the only sunshine."

Su Nan looked at the hero, thought for a while, nodded, calmed down, and took Zhu Hao's video.

Zhu Hao's side was dark and blurry, obviously outside.

"Why are you crying?" Zhu Hao asked worriedly, his eyes turned red for no reason, "I'm sorry..."

Su Nan wiped away her tears and smiled, "What are you sorry for? You didn't make me cry."

"Don't be sad, my roommate is just joking, I've already hit him." Zhu Hao touched the screen to comfort Su Nan, "You are the most beautiful girl in the world."

"I know." Su Nan smiled with red eyes, "Thank you Zhu Hao."

"Don't be like this, I'm afraid." Zhu Hao burst into tears.

"Ahhh? Why are you crying, you are a man." Su Nan was a little confused.

"Don't talk like that in the future, I'm really afraid you'll say something next, Zhu Hao, you're a good person, but we're not suitable." Zhu Hao pursed his mouth and wiped away his tears.

"Okay, okay, why would I tell you to break up with you, don't think too much about it." Su Nan comforted Zhu Hao.

"If you have anything, you must tell me." Zhu Hao was worried about Su Nan.

Su Nan stared blankly at the wrist that had just stopped bleeding, wondering if she should tell Zhu Hao.

"Su Nan?" Zhu Hao panicked seeing Su Nan not talking, "What's wrong?"

"Zhu Hao." Su Nan looked at Zhu Hao seriously.

"What are you doing, don't scare me." Zhu Hao cried anxiously.

"No, you are a big man, why are you always crying." Su Nan was a little at a loss.

"Then tell me, what's the matter?" Zhu Hao acted like a baby.

"I'll show you, don't scold me." Su Nan pouted.

"Okay." Zhu Hao made a gesture of swearing.

"I just cut my wrist." Su Nan raised her wrist.

Zhu Hao stared blankly at Su Nan, speechless for a while.

"It's okay, the bleeding has stopped." Su Nan said cautiously.

Su Nan watched Zhu Hao's teardrops as big as pearls falling down.

"Oh, I said it's fine. Why are you crying?" Su Nan didn't know what to do.

"I failed to protect you well." Zhu Hao wiped away his tears.

"I didn't control myself." Su Nan felt sorry for Zhu Hao.

"So you don't live for yourself alone." The hero standing aside suddenly said, "Think about it yourself, it's not like before."

The hero disappeared after speaking.

Su Nan thought about what the hero just said... yes, if I'm not here... how sad Zhu Hao would be...

"What are you thinking?" Zhu Hao tapped on the screen.

"Ohhh." Su Nan reacted, "You should go back, it's so cold outside."

"Okay, we're on our way back now." Zhu Hao smiled.

"Be careful." Su Nan told Zhu Hao.

"Don't worry, I'm a boy." Zhu Hao rubbed his head.

"Boys should also pay attention to safety." Su Nan was worried, "What should I do if I am so handsome."

"Hahahahahahahaha don't worry, the whole person belongs to you." Zhu Hao blushed.

"Rogue, go back quickly, hang up, and send me a message when you arrive." Su Nan also blushed.

"Okay, then hurry up and disinfect, the blood is not good in the first place, so you dare to mess around like this." Zhu Hao urged Su Nan.

"Okay, okay, I'll go later." Su Nan agreed.

"You must remember." Zhu Hao looked at Su Nan worriedly.

"Okay, okay, I'm very obedient." Su Nan nodded.

"Okay, good night then." Zhu Hao smiled.

"Good night."

What is it all, Su Nan heaved a sigh of relief after hanging up the phone.

The bad mood just now seemed to be gone, except for the dull aching scar on my wrist, it seemed like nothing had happened.

Life, please be kind to us.

Su Nan looked out the window at the starry sky and made a wish.

All the bad things will pass, isn’t it, Zhu Hao, I hope we can walk together for a long time.

God, always be kind to me once.

Su Nan sighed, the world is impermanent, who knows.

That's it, hope we're all doing well.

(End of this chapter)