Why it never ends

"I know you're going to say that, but—"

"Can you hear me out?"

Ding Yuqing swallowed hard, "...you say."

"Actually, I am like this even if we are inseparable, but Miaomiao is different," Ding Xueyang looked at Miaomiao in his arms, "If we are with Pingchuan, Miaomiao cannot be taken good care of, how can I take care of me... She? The kindergarten she is currently attending has to examine each child’s family situation and income level when entering the kindergarten. Don’t mention that she will go to elementary school this time next year—"

"How about letting Miaomiao go to a public primary school?" Ding Yuqing asked.

"Since she can obviously have a better environment, why should I destroy it?"

"We can take our time," Ding Yuqing said softly, "You can go back to school to finish your Ph.D.—"

"Even if I go back now and graduate successfully in two years, what's the use?" Ding Xueyang's voice was calm, "Now there are a lot of PhDs in their twenties outside who can't find a job, let alone people like me who have never really stepped out. A middle-aged man who has lived in the ivory tower, and there are children around him to take care of... Xiaoqing, I am no longer young."

"There will always be a way. You can contact your former classmates and friends to see if any of them are willing-"

"Not everything can be started from scratch. If you miss it, you have missed it. How can the road back be so easy?" Ding Xueyang whispered, "After divorce, I can't find another man like Shi Pingchuan, but he can always do it. Find a new wife and start a new family... He will also have new children by then, and there will be even less things that could have belonged to Miaomiao."

Xu Ruyi listened silently, her eyes slowly widening.

Ding Xueyang's eyes moved back to the child, "I have been telling him during this period that we should transfer the house where Song Xueyuan lives now to Miao Miao's name... so that no matter what happens in the future, Miao Miao can have a safe place. rely."

"...You don't plan to let Miao Miao change her surname?" Ding Yuqing asked.

"She is still my daughter whether she changes it or not," Ding Xueyang whispered. "It is better to have her father's surname. At least she can remind him all the time that this is his daughter too."

Xu Ruyi finally calmed down a bit, "How come these... things have never been mentioned by you?"

Ding Xueyang turned around and said, "What did you say?"

"Has Pingchuan done anything to apologize to you?"

"Probably not yet," Ding Xueyang said softly, "At least I haven't found it yet."

"Then why are you so guarded against him? When you first got married, Mom remembers that you were happy every day..." Xu Ruyi asked in confusion, "When did it start?"

"I don't remember." Ding Xueyang said softly, "Maybe it was when I discovered that he was a man like his father at heart."

"...what's the same?"

"The old feudal society values ​​boys over girls."

"No way?" Xu Ruyi opened her eyes wide again, "You haven't seen how much your father dotes on Miaomiao!"

"That's because Miao Miao is a good chess player and has won all the grandsons of his chess friends," Ding Xueyang said softly, "Similar to Tian Ji's horse racing, the good horses carefully trained by those people are not as good as the bad horses he raised. Of course he was happy."

"...The misunderstanding between you and your daughter is too deep," Xu Ruyi was a little worried, "Your father still spent a lot of effort on you, but he just can't express it... You and Xiaoqing have grown up well in these years, I have never been mistreated in terms of food and clothing, how can our family favor boys over girls?"

Ding Xueyang and Ding Yuqing looked at each other and laughed at the same time.

"Oh my God, Mom," Ding Yuqing couldn't help but pound the table, "Our family doesn't value boys over girls, so where did Ding Jiali come from?"

"That's just your father's obsession with having a son. People of his generation are like this -" "Mom, stop talking, you have tried your best," Ding Xueyang laughed, "You love us, you just don't It can be expressed, we know it.”

Xu Ruyi looked at her two daughters blankly - she really didn't know how to speak at this moment.

"Your father is indeed not a bad person. He is just a bit hot-tempered, but his character is good, upright, and reliable. He never gets involved in things he shouldn't get involved in. All his money is spent on this family. Just this." A little bit, I don’t know how many people around mom are envious——"

Ding Yuqing almost burst into tears with laughter. She held her face and remembered the chat she had with Hesta downstairs of the hospital not long ago, and she had mixed feelings. She wanted to tell Hesta what Xu Ruyi had just said, but when she turned around, she realized that Hesta, who had not interrupted the whole night, was almost asleep at the moment. She closed her eyes and her head kept shaking in the air, as if at any moment. All will lose consciousness.

Ding Xueyang turned around and asked, "What does Xiaoqing want to do in the future?"

"...I don't know. All I know now is what I don't want to do," Ding Yuqing replied softly, "I don't want to get married or have children—"

"Again, what should I do if I don't have children when I get old? If I don't have children to take care of me when I get old, I will be very lonely."

"Xiaoqing has me." Ding Xueyang said.

"Yes," Ding Yuqing nodded, "my sister and I can take care of each other."

Xu Ruyi held her forehead and shook her head.

"But people change easily," Ding Xueyang suddenly smiled, "You know, Xiaoqing, I feel now that I actually like children... being able to take care of Miaomiao at home and having this baby in my belly means a lot to me. I’m very happy to say that.”

"sister……"

"So people can't just know what they don't want to do," Ding Xueyang whispered, "your enthusiasm, your ideals, what you want to do no matter what...people don't have these things, it will be easy to compromise."

Ding Yuqing looked into her sister's eyes and suddenly felt a little sore in her nose.

No one spoke anymore at the table, and everyone's face reflected the candlelight, looking a little lonely for a moment.

With a "boom", Hesta, who had been dozing next to him, finally hit the table with his head.

"Sorry..." Hesta woke up again. She straightened up and raised her hands to rub her face, "I'm really sleepy."

Ding Xueyang glanced at the wall clock, "Oh my God, it's already so late!"

"What's the matter? Tomorrow is Sunday anyway." Ding Yuqing stood up and said, "Are you hungry? I'll get you some food."

The living room fell silent.

Xu Ruyi slowly turned sideways and reached out to touch Miaomiao's head.

Ding Xueyang also looked at his daughter's face.

Hesta yawned, and she vaguely felt that the atmosphere on the table had become a little sad. A kind of helpless compassion appeared on the faces of Xu Ruyi and Ding Xueyang. They sat very close, but their eyes never met.

"Sometimes mom doesn't know what else to do..."

"Yeah." Ding Xueyang said softly, "It's okay, mom."