100 Reasons to Kill My Husband

(Twenty-nine)

At twelve o’clock that night, Yu Haiqiao packed up my things very vigorously. He took me home in the big evening. The car was a little too late when I drove to the house. We each cleaned up for a while, and it was two o’clock. Just lay in bed and got ready to go to bed.

The light in the room was off, and Yu Haiqiao rolled over. I pulled the quilt and lowered my voice in anger: "The wind is coming in!" Yu Haiqiao turned back again. He lay on his back for a while, then suddenly turned in my direction. Body.

I was in the dark: "Are you pancakes like a dog?"

Yu Haiqiao reached out and hooked me into his arms. He pressed to me and asked, "Can you sleep?"

I earnestly sensed my spirit at the moment, and felt extremely excited. I felt that Yu Haiqiao had caused me to sleep too much: "It seems that I can't sleep well." I spoke honestly.

Yu Haiqiao also honestly said, "I'm not too sleepy."

In the end, the two of us who couldn't sleep at night huddled up in the quilt and talked about a lot of things in a dark room, starting from a very young age.

I felt a little sleepy when the sky faintly lit up outside, and fell asleep directly after turning over.

When I was awakened by the alarm clock, my heart of killing people instantly disappeared. Yu Haiqiao was still lying next to him and pushing me. He himself was sleepy: "Get up, I will send you to work today."

I raised my eyes to see that the alarm clock was half an hour earlier than usual, and became even more angry about it: "What did you adjust to the alarm clock?"

Yu Haiqiao turned over on the bed, "Didn't you promise to send you to work today?"

Give me a fart and make me lose half an hour of sleep. Yu Haiqiao is a **** typical self-movement. I have no desire to open my mouth and then speak again. I stayed on the bed for five minutes, and Yu Haiqiao stretched out his hand next to me again. Poke me: "Are you up?"

I closed my eyes and got angry: "You have to get up by yourself, let's talk about it!"

Lying on the bed, Yu Haiqiao told me very calmly: "I don't want to put on makeup in front of the mirror for half an hour."

I continued to stand up, without talking, Yu Haiqiao reached out and poked at me again: "Are you up?"

I threw him away from the finger that poked my arm. Yu Haiqiao was really annoying. This person is really annoying second only to an alarm clock.

Then Yu Haiqiao sat up from the quilt. He sat on the bed for a while, and sighed for a long while: "I will never go to bed so late again. I am completely embarrassed now."

I didn't speak up, he reached out to Barra me: "Get up, pig, you are still not going to work, I didn't know who was calling for perfect attendance award every day in front of me?"

I gritted my teeth: "You shake me again and I will resort to violence against you!"

Yu Haiqiao is now sober, laughing: "Oh, I'm so scared~~"

The ending sound was still the kind with a tilde. I patted out of bed angrily, sat up from the quilt, and glared at Yu Haiqiao. Yu Haiqiao jumped off the bed very quickly, and said as he walked to the bathroom, " You can’t make it in time, and I’ll take you to the downstairs of your company for breakfast and eat by yourself.”

I sat quietly on the bed for two minutes, and Yu Haiqiao’s voice came from the bathroom: "Shi Ran, you are a pig, are you still sitting on the bed?"

I couldn't help but screamed "Ah", got out of the bed, and began to change myself in front of the closet. After the clothes were changed, I was completely awake. Yu Haiqiao walked out with a toothbrush and compared to me. I lowered my wrist and motioned me to pay attention to the time.

I rolled my eyes at him: "I don't want you to send it."

Yu Haiqiao still had a toothbrush in his mouth, and his voice was vague: "No, I promised to send it."

I continued to roll my eyes: "If you don't give me away, I can sleep for another half an hour."

"..." Yu Haiqiao was silent for a moment with his toothbrush in his mouth, "Why aren't you lazy?"

I turned to the bathroom and solved my personal problems. After brushing my teeth and washing my face, I sat in front of the dressing table and wiped something on my face. Yu Haiqiao rummaged around the cabinet for a while, and raised my voice and asked me: "My wife, my light gray scarf was put on by you. Where did it go? It happens to match my coat today."

I ignored him.

He said again: "Oh, yes, and I took a pair of leather shoes. I didn't know where to put them before. Recently, the company has meetings to pass on leather shoes and tie every day."

"..." I'm too lazy to put on makeup.

Yu Haiqiao’s voice came again: "Yes, there is also a tie. I wore a tie every day recently. That tie doesn’t match my light-colored match today. Which drawer does my tie put in, my wife?"

Me: "..." Yu Haiqiao doesn't change the nature of his dog/force.

I stood up in front of the mirror, walked to him and pulled out his scarf and tie from the drawer in front of him, and then told him: "Where else can the shoes be placed in the shoe cabinet? Your shoes are in the first place. Inside the two shoe cabinets."

Yu Haiqiao looked at me for a moment, blinked and praised me very seriously: "Shi Ran, you have a good memory."

I rolled my eyes, Yu Haiqiao put a scarf on himself and asked me in passing: "No makeup today?"

I said: "Natural beauty does not require makeup."

Yu Haiqiao chuckled, "That's right."

Because I saved more than ten minutes of time without makeup, the time for both of us is not too much to catch up. Yu Haiqiao was still on the road and asked me very leisurely: "What are you going to eat this morning?"

I replied: "What to eat when you see."

Yu Haiqiao asked again: "Should we buy a suite near your company?"

I was surprised: "A lot of money and nowhere to spend?"

Yu Haiqiao said: "You can still afford the down payment after working for so many years, and the house we live in is not close to where you work, and it is not close to where I work. At least one of the two of us It’s convenient to have one person, not to mention that you don’t know how to drive."

I reminded him: "The traffic jam in the morning rush hour is more exaggerated. I might be more convenient to take the subway than to drive."

Yu Haiqiao sighed, and I immediately dispelled his thoughts of messing around in a bad life: "The place where we two live is close to the subway, and it is also in the middle of where we work, and nearby shopping malls, supermarkets, and vegetable markets. , I have everything that the park should have, and it’s impossible for me to live in another place."

Yu Haiqiao agreed with my point of view: "Oh, forget it." After a while, he added, "Then you have nothing to do and find your small ruined house close to your company as an excuse to live back."

I rolled my eyes at the roof of his car.

**

After the company’s annual vacation, Yu Haiqiao and I stayed at each other’s parents’ house for one night, and did not tell the two parents that we have no legally recognized marriage. Yu Haiqiao’s **** let me Eat more, my dad still likes to discuss national affairs with Yu Haiqiao at the dinner table.

Nothing has changed from the past.

Because I promised to participate in the reunion of junior high school classmates this year, I reluctantly turned down the invitation to play mahjong with a few sisters at home. On the day of the party, I drove to the restaurant where I was eating with Yu Haiqiao.

The classmate reunion was set in the private room of the restaurant. There were four tables in the room. Yang Xiongwei stood at the door of the private room and watched the guests as if they were welcoming guests. It was really hard work. I went forward to say a New Year greeting and praised him by the way. He saw me and Yu Haiqiao also smiled and said: "Come on, happy new year and happy new year, our teachers have already arrived, but some of our classmates have not been able to make contact, and some of our classmates can’t make it. Our class is 30 years old. Several people."

Yu Haiqiao stood by my leadership and sighed with great emotion: "It's pretty good to be able to come here for more than 30 years."

I glanced at Yu Haiqiao, pushed the door into the private room, and let Yu Haiqiao and Yang Xiongwei chat at the door.

I haven't seen my junior high school classmates for more than ten years. Except for a few people who contact me occasionally or I can see the circle of friends on WeChat, I can hardly recognize the others. It’s okay for girls. Boys have changed so much. Some classmates dragged me into the chat and told me who was who. Who would have thought that boys who often sit in the first row of thin chicks when they are studying will also become potbellied. I really have to lament the incredible work of time.

In addition to classmates, you must remember the past. The head teacher who turned gray during the meal recalled at the table that this person was so smart at the beginning and that the person was naughty and didn’t listen to discipline. I don’t know why he taught for so many years and brought books. So many students still have a deep memory of Yu Haiqiao, and they can even call out his name with a smile: "I heard that Yu Haiqiao is married to a girl in our class-it's good, good."

Yu Haiqiao poured fruit juice for his teacher and smiled: "Yes, her name is Shi Ran. When she was studying, she had a very serious subject, and her math scores always got the total score."

The head teacher nodded when he heard the words, but judging by my keen intuition, he did not remember which girl Yu Haiqiao was talking about, so I leaned over and greeted him again.

When I was full of food and drink, everyone started chatting. I talked to a lot of people about how hard work is and how annoying the boss is. For a while, everyone complained about their work very hard.

As we chatted, the topic diverged. Everyone chatted with the people next to them, and then someone smiled and congratulated me: "Congratulations, bless you and Yu Haiqiao."

Someone else said: "I thought you two matched when you were in junior high school. It's great."

Others sighed: "You two get married and make me feel that my youth seems to be complete."

In essence, I really couldn’t accept such great words, and I felt sore. At that moment, I just wanted to hang the divorce certificate between me and Yu Haiqiao on my chest and let this person open his eyes. What an unreliable thing to hang youth on others.

Another eldest brother who I don’t remember who was gossiping asked me: “The last time I chatted with Yu Haiqiao in the group and said he was widowed, what’s the matter?”

This eldest brother is really straightforward. Normally, no one would ask such a question in front of the person involved. After all, the person cannot explain it clearly in one or two sentences. If the explanation is not clear, it will be a little embarrassing. I laughed twice, in order not to The sense of humor that sets me apart makes others equally embarrassed. I did not tell the other party that this is the love between my husband and wife Yu Haiqiao. I said to him very gently: "Then you have to ask Yu Haiqiao."

The man continued to be upright: "Then you and Yu Haiqiao are second marriages?"

I thought about it. Strictly speaking, "Yes, but I'm not married yet."

"Huh?" The face was surprised.

I saw his face astonished, and I really couldn't hold back his prank mouth: "I don't think he likes women."

"Huh???" The man was shocked.

I nodded heavily at him.

"Why don't you like women?" Yu Haiqiao came over at exactly this moment, and the voice suddenly rang from behind me shocked me.

I looked at him sideways and explained to him very patiently: "Oh, he asked me about the widowhood in the group, and I told him that we are not married yet."

Yu Haiqiao squinted his eyes and looked at me for a moment, then suddenly smiled: "If it weren't for you and your girlfriend that didn't discuss it well, we wouldn't be married yet."

The eldest brother who asked the question may only realize that his curiosity is too out of place at this time. He smiled embarrassingly: "Haha just now someone asked me to go there for a look." Then he escaped with such a clumsy excuse. NS.

After the man left, Yu Haiqiao stood beside me, looked down at me, and asked me seriously: "We two are not married yet?"

I looked at him like a fool: "Otherwise?"

He took me to a small corner of the room where no one else was. The two of us shrank in this corner. There was noisy voices around, and the voices of loudly persuading wine also sounded from time to time. I saw him pursing his lips and touching. He fumbled and took out something from his pocket. In order to prevent the voice from being heard by the people around him, he leaned to my ear and whispered in a low voice, "Will you marry me?"

The ring he was holding was the one he threw to me when he proposed to me three years ago, and I kept it in the dresser cabinet for a long time.

Staring at the ring, I also lowered my voice and asked in a low voice in the tone of the spies meeting on the street: "Propose?"

Yu Haiqiao turned his head and stared at me earnestly with a pair of eyes. For a while, he pursed his lips and smiled, and then leaned in to press my ears and quietly said, "Yes, propose, I love you, marry me."

I thought for a moment.

After Yu Haiqiao waited for a while, he raised his head and stared at me, whispered angrily: "Isn't it? You still want to think about it at this time?"

I continue to think.

Yu Haiqiao's voice became a little nervous, and he suppressed the voice very restrainedly: "Hey hey hey—"

I keep thinking.

Yu Haiqiao pulled his trouser legs, squatted down slowly, and asked in a very sincere and earnest tone: "Should I beg you on one knee?"

This forced him to be shameless and I still want to face. I quickly grabbed his arm when I heard the words. I was very afraid that we were too moving for the people around to find out. Then I was embarrassed. Cancer would definitely lead to death. I lowered my voice and got angry. He said: "Wait, wait, what anxiousness is it?"

Yu Haiqiao smirked twice. I immediately knew that I was being forced to play again. His head reacted and the body had not had time to react. He reached out and grabbed my hand and quickly put the ring on my ring finger. A set of actions were smooth and smooth, and after finishing it, he came over and whispered to me: "Don't take it off if you wear it."

I looked down at my hand and asked him in a low voice, "What about your ring?"

Yu Haiqiao reached out and hooked his neck, drew a rope, and tied the ring underneath: "Here, you don't wear a wedding ring and I am embarrassed to wear it."

I tweeted and asked in a low voice, "I don’t wear it, when did I put it on?" I have never seen Yu Haiqiao naked or shirtless, but I didn’t notice this person wearing me all the time. Two wedding rings.

Yu Haiqiao whispered back to me: "The rope has been stringed a long time ago, I'm afraid you might find it embarrassing to wear it, but you only put it on recently."

I chuckled softly: "Why didn't you find your face so thin?"

Yu Haiqiao also chuckled softly: "There are so many things you haven't discovered."

I glanced at my finger again, and Yu Haiqiao followed my gaze and asked me again: "Don't pick it up, please wear it too." He added, "I will be sad."

I uttered, and Yu Haiqiao whispered again: "Then when shall we go to the Civil Affairs Bureau to remarry?"

I whispered: "Civil Affairs Bureau has a holiday for Chinese New Year, right?"

Yu Haiqiao nodded: "Well, let's go again after that year."

Yu Haiqiao whispered: "Then when will we go to make up the wedding photos?"

me?"

Yu Haiqiao murmured again: "Make up for the honeymoon? What about the wedding, your friend's college roommate and colleagues, please come out to have a meal?"

I discussed: "Is it necessary to invite dinner? Do people really think that we are second married?"

Yu Haiqiao also discussed: "Then you can find a reason to let those friends and colleagues that you have a good relationship with who often go shopping together come to our house for a meal."

"Good, good." I was impressed by Yu Haiqiao's own spirit of making trouble for myself, and immediately agreed with admiration.

The voices in the box were still noisy. Several men who had been drinking and drinking were still toasting to each other at the wine table. The teacher sat on the table and chatted with a few classmates around him. Nothing changed. No one knew me and What happened between Yu Haiqiao, we both seemed to have completed a very great mysterious ritual without the whole world paying attention.

I sighed softly for this unmarked greatness, and Yu Haiqiao asked me in a low voice: "Then we go home now?"

I said: "Let's go."

Yu Haiqiao took me to say hello to the teacher, and then sneaked away from the meeting point.

Winter nights are very windy, and the weather has been pretty good in recent days. At night, there are few clouds, the moon is very bright, the stars are not many, and the night sky looks very clear.

The story should stop at this place, but I have something to say in order to echo the title.

If I want to kill Yu Haiqiao for 364 days out of my three hundred and sixty-five days in a year, and three hundred and sixty-six days in a leap year, I have three hundred and sixty-five days to kill him if.

Then I will offset all the resentment I had accumulated against him in the last three hundred and sixty days of my life on the last day of the year. The reason is very simple. It is so simple that I am not too embarrassed to say it. I think it will make The protagonists in my two stories with Yu Haiqiao seem to be two neuroses who cannot communicate normally.

But this is really no way. As a human being, I can only see the truth before my eyes and make judgments based on my personality. If I have to scold people, I really shouldn’t scold me and Yu Haiqiao for having a weird temper. I should scold the creator who created us. This is all its fault. Anyway, I won’t admit that it’s my fault. .

Yes, this reason is simply because I don’t want to admit it—

I love him.

**

Of course, if I didn’t see the message on my mobile phone in the car when I was going home—the big news, Yu Haiqiao is a gay, Shi Ran is a les, and the two are not married at all! Suspicions are all shown to parents! I heard it with my own ears! The two of them are married, no wonder the relationship has been so good since childhood!

I sat in the co-pilot and stared at the screen of the phone, silently reminding myself that when I start a new group chat, I must not accidentally pull the person in.

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