100 Reasons to Kill My Husband

(twenty four)

Yu Haiqiao, the dog in such a hurry in the morning, drove leisurely to a nearby Hong Kong-style tea restaurant to have morning tea. He ordered seven or eight cages one after another on the table, and he picked up his chopsticks and suffocated his head. Just eat, just like the starving ghosts who have been hungry for most of my life, I was utterly amazed. After eating rice rolls, I remembered my new identity and spoke to him as an ex-wife: "Yu Gou, I'm going to work. It's good to get together and get away."

Yu Haiqiao this dog had something in his mouth, and he glanced at me after hearing the words: "I'm good to gather for a fart."

After receiving the divorce certificate, this dog/force may have completely given up on being a human being. I can’t say a word, but I’m still a decent human. I don’t care about non-human beings. I took a paper towel and wiped myself. Mouth: "Finally, let's go to work."

Yu Haiqiao, the dog/force reminds me: "I just transferred you a thousand."

I’m not a woman who would bend for five buckets of rice. Besides, if the money is in her account, Yu Haiqiao can still steal my mobile phone and turn it back. I was disdainful, so I heard Yu Haiqiao say again: "Eat with me. I'll transfer you a thousand after that."

But I could bend my waist for Liudoumi. I withdrew my departure. Seeing Yu Haiqiao's eating appearance, I felt a bit weird: "I haven't eaten for a few days. Are you a starving ghost reborn?"

Yu Haiqiao said, glanced at me: "Can you control it?"

"?" Yu Haiqiao, the dog, maybe his brain is really broken, I showed him a smiley face, "I don't care if you keep going."

After Yu Haiqiao finished the first wave of eating, his eating movements began to slow down. I saw that it might take half an hour to an hour for breakfast, and looked at him disgustingly: "You are unemployed and do not need to go to work. NS?"

"Are you in charge?" Yu Haiqiao's rebellious period, which has been late for more than ten years, made me want to take out a whip to kill him.

I glared at him and advised him to stay on the sidelines and don't push his nose and face: "Yu Gou, recognize the situation, I am your ex-wife now, who cares about your ass."

Yu Haiqiao's belated rebellious period is really coming, and he glanced at me angrily after I finished saying: "You also know that you are my ex-wife now, so can you control it?"

When I see the spring, I think about its source, and when I see Yu Haiqiao this dog/forcing the belated rebellious period, I reflect on myself, and wonder if I was like this when I was passing through my adolescence. After the reflection, Feeling that his adolescence was really logical and reasonable, he was very dignified and decent, so he looked at Yu Haiqiao even more disgustingly: "Naive."

I think Yu Haiqiao might have been caught off guard by my attacking technique that smashed Huanglong. He didn't say a word for a long time. He silently finished a table of things, put down his chopsticks and turned his head to look at me calmly. The expression is very serious: "Do you always think I'm naive?"

Before his words fell, I immediately told him: "Yes."

Yu Haiqiao sighed and asked me humbly, "For example?"

"For example—" I pondered, pondering for a long while, "Too much to say."

He glanced at me with a faint smile: "I think you are also quite naive, Shi Ran."

I sneered at each other: "That's because I'm always young, always youthful and beautiful, holding an eternal heart of innocence."

Yu Haiqiao’s expression seemed to be choked by what I said, and for a long while, he spit out a sullen sentence: "Fuck..."

I lightly patted my hand on the table twice: "Quickly check out."

Yu Haiqiao said: "Why do you always misinterpret so many..."

I was cruel and ruthless: "Don't get close to your ex-wife, check out, and transfer money to me."

Yu Haiqiao called someone to pay for the bill. The waiter walked over to Yu Haiqiao with a small ticket and said with a smile: "Mr. The total is 83 yuan. Do you want to pay by WeChat Alipay or cash?"

Yu Haiqiao glanced at me: "Forty-one and fifty cents, transfer it to me later."

I suffocated my breath. Yu Haiqiao really stopped being a human being. I asked him politely: "Who promised to AA with you? Besides, you probably ate 70 yuan for a table of things and I ate the remaining ten. Three." After I finished speaking, I caught a glimpse of the cashier standing next to the cashier with an awkward expression. I could hear her voice from deep in her heart—a pair of silly/forced couples came to have morning tea in the morning.

My dignified and decent way of doing things is not allowed to cause embarrassment to strangers, and I also refuse to match Yu Haiqiao in the hearts of others at the moment, even if it is my imaginary inner words of others, I take it out of my pocket. The phone said politely to the waiter: "I'll pay, where can I scan the code?"

I paid the 83 yuan using WeChat and went straight out of the restaurant. Yu Haiqiao followed me and said that he wanted to take me to work. I stood by the side of the road and waited for the taxi, and asked him: "Then do I have to pay? Gas bills for you?"

Yu Haiqiao said shamelessly: "If you want to, you can also reimburse the gas cost when you drive downstairs to your house. Oh, you've been in my car so many times, and you went to your mother's place yesterday. Just fill up the gas tank for me."

I suddenly thought of a joke: "If I had a car accident and you donated blood to me in the hospital, do you still have to let me return the blood donated to you?"

Before the point of the joke was revealed, Yu Haiqiao frowned and said, "What nonsense."

I gave him a blank look, stretched out my hand to call for the car, Yu Haiqiao reached out and grabbed my wrist. After I said "let go" coldly and ruthlessly twice, I completely ignored him, and finally took me to his own car. After releasing his hand, he sighed: "Well, today our department team is building. It doesn't matter if I go later. I will send you to work now."

There is a dog like Yu Haiqiao in this world. Eight/nine of the things that have happened in life can be exposed as if they have never happened. The last second is angry and quarreling, the next second can be asked what to see in the afternoon. In the movie, we divorced at 8:30 in the morning, and I can calmly say that I will send you to work after 9:07. Did he think that my mother was playing with him? I was his kindergarten classmate. Did you take him to play the "wife" in the house game?

My anger suddenly increased under his calm expression and tone. I said to him word by word: "Yu Haiqiao, get out."

Yu Haiqiao raised his hands in my anger and made a gesture of surrender: "Well, let me go."

**

I was 56 minutes late for work that day. When my colleague came to ask me, I told her, "It's okay to go out with my husband and divorced."

Most of my colleagues think that I am joking, given that my most passionate hobby in the company for a long time is to make cold jokes with people in the department without expression. The facts have proved that this person is very well established. No one takes pity on me, a divorced woman, or even a colleague. After listening with a smile, he said congratulations and told me that I was too late and the boss asked me to talk about my ideals in life.

The boss is the dog in my life second only to Yu Haiqiao. Yu Haiqiao I can still divorce him, but the boss can’t. I sincerely reflected on my mistakes with him, just like a student who is still studying The same said that I had to write a review. On Monday, I read the review in front of the entire company, and the boss reluctantly put me back on the desk.

One thousand nine hundred and seventeen yuan can't make up for my pain.

And this divorced dog/forcing husband didn’t know anything about it. On the day of the divorce, he used money to tempt me to have breakfast with him. In the evening I went home from get off work and opened a series of apps that taught cooking to prepare a meal for myself. A hearty dinner. The kitchen utensils weren’t taken out, and there was a knock on the door. I thought it was an errand to help buy vegetables. When I got off work, I asked the errands to buy some vegetables at the market. When I got home, Yu Haiqiao stood at the door when he opened the door.

When I saw him, I reflexively wanted to frown: "What are you doing and do you look like a divorce?"

Yu Haiqiao smiled and said to me: "Come on and eat." He squeezed into my room as he said, squeezed in and looked around like a **** dog around the land, and then bent his eyes to ask me. : "What will you eat tonight?"

"Eat shit." I was expressionless.

Yu Haiqiao himself didn't care about my vulgar words. He walked up to my refrigerator and opened the refrigerator with a calm expression on his face. He said, "There is nothing in the refrigerator. You eat woolen yarn and takeaway?" He said. Turn off the refrigerator and walked to the kitchen for a few glances, and continued to tut, "Let's go to the supermarket later and buy something."

I closed the door of my house and walked to Yu Haiqiao, raising my head and staring at his face very seriously. Yu Haiqiao had a very relaxed and contented expression on his face. After I stared for a long time, he coughed: "What's wrong, now Did you discover that Brother is a rare handsome guy?"

I stared at him seriously: "I'm just observing how thick your dog's face is."

Yu Haiqiao curled up his mouth and smiled very modestly: "It's okay."