100 Reasons to Kill My Husband

(eleven)

When I was eating at Yu Haiqiao’s house, his mother, it’s not right. My mother kept putting vegetables into my bowl and said, “Shi Ran is too thin. What do you usually eat? Don’t be picky eaters.”

Yu Haiqiao and his father stared at the sports channel on the TV in the living room very seriously with the dishes and chopsticks. The two/Chinese people on the TV were playing table tennis matches representing other countries. Yu Haiqiao stared at the TV’s ears. He didn't hesitate to hear what his mother said, so she opened her mouth and said, "Mom, she's a hundred and twenty and she's a thin woolen yarn?"

When I heard that, I gently put down the chopsticks and placed it on the bowl. Yu Haiqiao’s **** cooking uses very little oil and salt. To be honest, for me, there is no Yu Haiqiao’s food that suits my appetite, and she gave me the bowl. I clamped a very exaggerated chicken thigh. I have always kept the old man’s face, and would not tell her directly that I don’t want to eat this, don’t eat this, don’t eat this, don’t give it to me, so I put down my chopsticks and looked at Yu's mother, staring desperately at her. The other party’s launch contained various aggrieved sights: "Yu Haiqiao has always said that I am fat recently."

Yu Haiqiao slapped his mother and slapped his son: "Why is Shi Ran fat? She is still called fat like this!"

Yu Haiqiao was taken aback. He glanced at me hesitantly, and then moved his gaze to the chicken thigh in my bowl. I can definitely give the dog a look at me in disgust, and then stretched out his chopsticks to take me The chicken drumsticks in the bowl were put into my own bowl, and he said to his mother: "Don't give her this. How did you see her eat it?"

I smiled at Yu Haiqiao: "Well, I know you like chicken thighs the most."

"..." Yu Haiqiao glanced at me, his eyebrows frowned, and he felt that he would vomit in the next second-Shi Ran, if you **** pretend, I'm about to vomit.

I calmly retracted my gaze and continued to eat. Before Yu Haiqiao's mother wanted to talk about Yu Haiqiao, I was very gentle and virtuous to stop him: "Mom, let him eat. I really don't like chicken drumsticks."

**

When I got home, it was already nine o’clock in the evening. Yu Haiqiao carried the boiled chicken soup his mother had packed into the car. I got into the co-pilot. Yu Haiqiao turned my head and stared at me intently. After the seven-second face-to-face time passed, he took the lead to break the silence: "My skills are poor?"

"?" I thought he was going to tell me something very important, men really can't do it, I began to doubt that in the next year I will see him appearing in front of me from time to time, and asking me again and again forever Such a problem.

Yu Haiqiao started the car and drove slowly to the exit of the parking lot: "Do you know what science has proven?"

I listen to Yu Haiqiao giving me popular science.

"If a man's various functions are very normal, even beyond the normal level."

"Are you talking about you?"

"Wait, what's the interruption?"

"..." I rolled my eyes silently.

"It's just a man. He is 30 years old. He is strong and healthy. All physical indicators are very normal and beyond the normal level. He goes to the gym twice a week to exercise, and on weekends he goes out for a night run. The time is half an hour. In an hour, half a year to participate in a half-horse, such a man."

"It can't be ruled out that a certain function of him is not good." I said out.

Yu Haiqiao ignored my interruption. He continued to speak without being violated: "After being hit by his wife's self-confidence, he will lose the joy of life, become a walking dead, and can no longer be a man who contributes to society. "

I turned my head to look at Yu Haiqiao and I was a little bit amused by him, but I couldn't laugh, and maintained a very serious expression and turned to look at the scenery outside the car window.

"The most important thing is that science shows that when someone says his husband is not good, his originally good husband may really be bad."

Yu Haiqiao told me a tongue twister, and I suffocated my laughter crazily, maintaining a very rigorous spirit of exploration: "Which science has it shown to you?"

Yu Haiqiao said: "It's like a man whose wife is actually fat, ugly and fierce, and he likes to behave in front of his elders, but he never tells his wife well."

"...Yugou." I said, "Science shows that that man is about to lose his wife."

Yu Haiqiao smirked twice after listening. After laughing, he turned his head and barked at me. A small fang barked out and said viciously: "Shi Ran, you say I can't do it again, believe it or not, I will now Did the car stop and do you?"

"..." I showed him the two rows of stewardess etiquette standard teeth, and then said to him, "Stupid."

Yu Haiqiao is likely to be a cheap bone. After being scolded by me, he no longer promotes his pseudoscience, and even happily hummed a bad song.

**

When the car was in the middle of the car, he seemed to suddenly remember: "Your mobile phone and WeChat blocked me, let me out."

"No, illusion." I said nonsense.

Yu Haiqiao shouted on his cell phone: "Hey Siri." After receiving a response from the electronic female voice, he said, "Give Shi Ran a call."

"..." I was amazed by Yu Haiqiao's performance art.

Then his phone rang.

"Sorry, the call you made is temporarily unavailable, please call again later." The electronic alert sounded in the car.

"The phone is broken." I didn't change my face.

"Apple has a new machine recently." Yu Haiqiao concluded.

I am quite satisfied with his conclusion, but habitually spurs: "It has been out for several months." And continued to speak, "switch has recently released a fitness ring."

Yu Haiqiao’s voice was shocked: "The switch I gave you was sold by you for selling salted fish." Then he said, "You don't work out."

I oh

Yu Haiqiao said, "I think you have been mad at me lately."

I think what you think is quite right, and I gently questioned: "What's the matter?"

"Keep speaking normally!" Yu Haiqiao said loudly.

"That's how I speak normally." I didn't change my face and didn't fear at all. From today onwards, I will no longer be Shi Ran, but a blackened version of Niu Colu Shi Ran with dark eye shadows and long eyeliner. In the days to come, I will treat Yu Hai with warmth like spring. Qiao will treat Yu Haiqiao this person as tenderly as a mother treats a child.

"Because I was talking in the junior high school class group this afternoon?" Yu Haiqiao seriously questioned.

Me: "Hmm." I answered the question in a friendly manner.

"It's not my fault, right? This afternoon my alumni who couldn't reach a relationship suddenly contacted me and said that I heard that I was hanging up.

Me: "Hmm."

Yu Haiqiao glanced at me during his busy schedule: "Your nose is blocked?"

I said, "No."

"..." Yu Haiqiao stared at the front with an expression on his face.

"..." He said after a few seconds of silence, "Later, I heard that it was from the junior high school class group, and I guessed what was going on."

Me: "Hmm."

Yu Haiqiao yelled, "Speak to me normally!"

I secretly glanced at him, but said, "Okay."

"..." Yu Haiqiao clenched his hands on the steering wheel tightly. After a long while, he calmed down his inner emotions, and continued to speak, even laughing and saying: "Oh, I was playing with you. Wife, let's hurry up and make up, stop making trouble."

I said, "We didn't quarrel."

Yu Haiqiao let out a long sigh from his chest, and he apologized heavily: "I was wrong."

"You're right." I said.

"I was wrong," he said.

"You're right." I continued, I'd like to see when this can go.

"..." Yu Haiqiao was silent for a moment, and began to change his strategy to occupy the commanding heights of morality. "You said Shi Ran's words first. I am the victim of this incident. I have to take time to explain to others. In this matter, your joke was too much. I did it to cooperate with you and make you happy. You have no reason to blame me."

Heh, high-achieving students are not the same. They start to speak honestly and speak very seriously. Although it seems that the facts are indeed what he said, but I am Niu Colu Shiran a reasonable person? I am a dog like Yu Haiqiao. /Forcing reason, I am not, I said: "I don't blame you, I didn't blame you."

Yu Haiqiao collapsed. He said: "I will place an order for you when I get home for the mobile phone, buy the switch as well, and order the fitness ring immediately, okay?"

I said, "Okay, thank you husband."

Yu Haiqiao sighed: "I served Shi Ran, and your Alipay tied a family account with me. You want to buy something and buy it yourself. Why do you torture me? Didn't you still use it a few days ago?"

What Yu Haiqiao said was really funny.

The primary-secondary relationship is completely messed up, am I mainly for things? No, I just want to **** him off.

The way to maintain the vitality of the marriage is to maintain the vitality of the interaction between the husband and wife. I have got a great insight in my marriage relationship, and I am very welcome to invite me to be the host of the Midnight Marriage Radio.

Make sure that you can disassemble a pair to be a pair.