Your Highness, Please Love Me Tender

38. Past Pains

Translator: Flying Lines

He couldn’t just tell Zhou Zaiyue that he was Prince Qin’s Man of Sacrifice, and that he couldn’t undertake the task of retaking a fallen throne, could he?

“If you’ll allow me, I’m going back to my room.” Though he didn’t reveal anything on his face, the pain in his chest was becoming unbearable after such a long time. He wouldn’t hate Prince Qin for the pain, but he did feel hurt by what the Guqin Master had done.

“Follow me to my room. You can’t leave it unattended.” Zhou Zaiyue sighed helplessly when seeing Su Jie’s refusal to talk. So this boy he had been trying so hard to find had some troubles he was reluctant to mention?

Su Jie didn’t turn down Zhou Zaiyue’s kind offer this time as it would also be a huge trouble should his injury come to Xiao ShengNian’s knowledge. Better let Zhou Zaiyue treat him first to save unnecessary trouble.

“How did you get hurt?” asked Zhou Zaiyue. He didn’t bring him his medicine case but had many bottles of pills and unguent. Plus Xiao ShengNian had prepared beforehand many necessities for a doctor in the room.

Su Jie was rendered in a moment of silence before he uttered, “Just a minor injury.”

Zhou Zaiyue went ballistic upon hearing that answer. Judging from Su Jie’s reaction, he must have been used to such injuries, and he willingly took all those without any grudges. “No one in this whole world has the right to hurt you.”

Su Jie sneered, obviously not caring a dump about what Zhou Zaiyue just said.

Zhou Zaiyue put his fingers on Su Jie’s wrist to feel his pulse. In a short while his usually calm expression cracked, his heart burning with rage and shock as he looked in disbelief at Su Jie, something complicated in his eyes. For an instant, even the wrinkles on his face was shouting manifest anger. Subduing the wrath, he asked, “You have a Death Gu Worm in your body. Who did this to you?”

The corner of Su Jie’s eyes twitched as he withdrew his hand, killing intent in his eyes.

Since when could a Death Gu Poisonous Worm be felt from the pulse?

Su Jie instantly got his guard up while Zhou Zaiyue, brows knitted tightly, said with a thoughtful look, “Death Gu Worm is used by HuQin to control Men of Sacrifice. No wonder you were unmoved after our conversation. I didn’t expect this to be the reason. How did you become a Man of Sacrifice?”

Su Jie didn’t give any response. Zhou Zaiyue pulled a chair to his side and sit down before he said, “HuQin is the most cunning and scheming person I’ve ever met. You’re still young and susceptible to his traps. I can see that you’re quite loyal to him. He must be plotting something dirty in the dark. So tell me how you met him.”

Su Jie wasn’t a bit persuaded. He had never heard the name HuQin, was that by any chance the name of the Guqin Master? That in his mind, he shot up from the chair to leave.

“Su Shuche and Jin Zheng both had superb martial skills overpowered by few. I don’t know what happened but I know for sure they would try their best to protect you. Their death still confuses me, perhaps it’s even HuQin’s doing. Why don’t you tell me about him? You might be serving the very person who killed your parents! Do you really wish to be controlled by someone vicious as him?”

Su Jie stopped abruptly when Su Shuche and Jin Zheng were mentioned, a look of struggle on his face. He wouldn’t care a bit about Zhou Zaiyue’s words if only he alone were involved. But when it came to his parents, he could no longer keep his cool.

The village they stayed had been prosperous, how come it suddenly suffered such a serious famine where adult folks were starved to death in just a few days but the kids somehow survived? His memory of the famine had blurred over the years but that of how he had gained the only opportunity to live remained vivid – by killing all the kids in the village.

He was 10 years old at most when the famine struck. Everything he knew about the famine was from the Guqin Master, who kept telling him how much trouble he and Prince Qin had gone to save him. Gradually, he believed that was the truth and never doubted the authenticity of it. Habit is a horrifying thing. Yet Zhou Zaiyue’s words planted a seed of doubt in his mind.

He tried to recall how Su Shuche and Jin Zheng died but couldn’t. The only thing he remembered was their repeated exhortation by his ear before their death: Live…keep yourself alive, no matter what.

Did the villagers really die of famine? He began to doubt.

He knew what people would look like in famine as the Guqin Master had brought him to several famine-stricken villages, which he automatically thought his hometown and the villagers must be the same. But was that by any chance all his false deducing? Su Jie, after a long while of silence, returned to his seat, a bit sullen.

Zhou Zaiyue cracked a loving smile, his voice gentle and soothing, “Now tell me about it.”

“My parents both died in the famine.” This was the first time Su Jie spoke of his hometown, his family and his past, his voice calm and his eyes displaying traces of reminiscence.

Zhou Zaiyue gave a wry smile, “If it were just a simple famine, Su Shuche and Jin Zheng could just take you to another place. It’d be a piece of cake for them.”

“The village was picturesque and prosperous,” Su Jie only managed a short sentence after quite some time. That memory was in the long past, now plus his stirred mind, he could barely think of anything valuable.

Zhou Zaiyue was patient as he pointed out the contradictory parts in Su Jie’s words, “It doesn’t make sense. The villagers shouldn’t have starved to death in a picturesque and prosperous place unless they intentionally deserted the land or catastrophe befell.”

“I killed many kids, some older than me, some younger. Only I survived.”

“Do you remember who made you do that?”

“No, I had this single belief in my mind, that was to live, to survive. And I did, but the rest kids all died.” Su Jie continued as Zhou Zaiyue chimed in occasionally to analyze.

Su Jie spoke for a long time, probably the longest time in his whole life. Slowly he opened up about his past, probably because Zhou Zaiyue’s caring and love had softened his heart or because of his low spirits, or because the pain exhausted him…

When in pain, we tend to avoid the memories that hurt. For years Su Jie had buried it deep in his heart, avoiding what had happened in the village, not only because his ‘parents’ died there but also because he had killed too many kids there in order to survive. He couldn’t bear the guilt to think of what happened that day.

He could still feel the blood on his hands, his face that day, the smell of which so gross that he couldn’t help but shudder whenever thinking about it. The guilt and pain were killing him every second.

That day, he stood alone in the pool of blood among the bodies of his playmates. Even the sky dimmed. He had hoped for a downpour to wash away all the blood and to clean his sinful body and soul.

But there wasn’t a drop of rain that day.

That was when Xiao LuoXuan came to him in pure white, like the only light in darkness. “From this moment on, I am your master,” so he said.