Chapter 59 – What Kasumi Made Me Realize

After about five minutes, Dozle calmed down and I asked Kasumi what she wanted.

“So what can I do for you?”

“Yeah… I haven’t been able to talk to you for a long time, so I wanted to… I mean, no! That’s not what I meant! I wanted to apologize!”

“Eh? To me?”

“Yeah. I said terrible things in eighth grade. I’m sorry for saying hurtful things about Ichiro!”

Kasumi then bowed her head towards me vigorously.

Second year of middle school.

I remember being called an airhead meddler.

At the time, it was a shock.

I felt self-loathing when I realized how much I was imposing my good intentions on the people around me, what a nuisance I was…

But what was said was true, and it was not surprising that it was said.

Therefore, it was a terrible shock that Kasumi disliked me at the time, but it was nothing to be resentful or angry about.

I still think so even now.

“It was true that I wasn’t reading the air, and it was also true that I was forcing unnecessary meddling on you.”

“No! It wasn’t Ichiro’s fault! I just got carried away!”

“No, but…”

“I’m so stupid… I didn’t realize how much Ichiro was thinking about me until he left…”

As I was talking to Kasumi, the living room window opened and my mom called out to me.

“You two, it’s cold in the garden, isn’t it? Why don’t you come inside?”

“Yeah, okay. Kasumi, come in too?”

“Yeah…”

I took Kasumi to my room.

I switched on the heater and kotatsu and offered her to get in.

Kasumi seemed to calm down a bit as she entered the kotatsu and looked around the room restlessly.

Mom brought us hot cups of coffee straight away.

“Kasumi-chan, it’s been a long time! Haven’t you become prettier in high school?”

“U-Um! It’s been a while!”

“Ufufu, take your time.”

“Yes! Thank you!”

I was watching the exchange between my mom and Kasumi and thought…

Last time I was with Urushibara-san, when Kasumi called out to me, I felt a kind of fear towards Kasumi.

Maybe it brought back some of the feelings I had in junior high school.

But when I was approached earlier, I didn’t feel anything like that.

I couldn’t figure out why.

After mom left the room, I talked to Kasumi.

“So, what’s wrong?”

“Yeah… How is Ichiro doing at school now?”

“How am I doing?”

“I mean… Are you all alone like you were in middle school?”

“Ah, I’m not a loner, I have friends. I’m also in the student council and I’ve been vice-president since the third semester.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I was asked to help out. I had a friend who was on the student council, and she asked me to help her because it was a busy time. After helping her for a while, I was scouted.”

“I see. That’s a relief. You’re like the old Ichiro.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah, it’s the same with your facial expression. It reminds me of when we were in elementary school.”

“I see…”

I had a feeling that I would soon figure something out.

How come I no longer feel fear towards Kasumi?

Why did Kasumi look at me now and feel that I looked like when I was in primary school?

“Kasumi, I want you to tell me. What was I like in the past?”

“Eh…um… That’s…”

“Ah, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to put you on the spot. I’m just trying to get your objective, honest opinion of me. The good and the bad, preferably both.”

“Yeah… Ichiro was a man who would do anything for me. When I had a lot of luggage after school, he carried mine even though he had a lot of luggage too. He would stay with me and help me with my homework until I finished. Even on my days off, when I came to visit, Ichiro would cook lunch for me and feed me, even if Auntie wasn’t home.”

“Yeah, I guess I did all those things.”

“Even if I didn’t say anything, Ichiro always took the lead and did a lot of things. I just had you do it passively, and that was the norm, and by the time I was in middle school, I started to feel like it was a hindrance, partly because people were making fun of me.”

“I see… In short, I was an active child when I was in elementary school?”

“Yes, you were extremely proactive. And I would say you were very positive.”

Positive and proactive.

What am I like now?

When I joined the student council, Haruko advised me to change my attitude at school to avoid putting up walls with others.

After that, everyone around me, especially in the student council, started to take an active interest in me, and I actively worked on reforming the work of the student council.

The same goes for my relationship with Urushibara-san.

As I spent time with Urushibara-san, I think I became more actively involved.

Is it this difference that I no longer feel fear towards Kasumi?

I was scared because I was trapped in my shell.

When I stopped doing that, I wasn’t afraid anymore and I could have a calm conversation.

But positive, huh…?

I know to the point of disgust that this is the only thing I’m lacking right now.

In particular, towards Urushibara-san.

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