Tunnel Rat

Milo stirred. His eyes were still closed, but his fuzzy nose was sniffing something delicious. Before he could open his eyes sound exploded all around him, small explosions going off with a snap, crackle, and pop!

He jumped to his feet, whirling around. The explosions followed him, as did the laughter of many voices. Many dwarven voices.

"Ha, told you that would wake him up!!"

"The cheese?"

"No, the fireworks we tied to his tail!"

Around Milo were assembled all of the junior engineers of this lost dwarven outpost. They were looking surprisingly spry for being nearly burnt to a crisp when his small mistakes turned into huge explosions during the fight with the elemental. Their flesh was firm, and their beards were actual hair instead of metal wire. Full heads of hair were growing in on many of them, wild tangles of hair where no comb had ever gone.

Many of the dwarves still had mechanical parts, but they looked new and functional rather than the makeshift limbs many had sported before. Two-Screws had fancy metal hands and arms up to his elbows that looked remarkably like real hands. It seemed that the hasty choices Milo had made had resulted in huge changes in their bodies.

Boom-Boom and Two-Screws grabbed him in a huge hug. The rest gathered in, slapping his back, and congratulating him on killing the Empress. He found himself hoisted on shoulders and a small parade went down a long passage to a chamber that hadn't been destroyed in the fight.

Inside was a massive machine composed of interlocking, concentric metal rings over 50 feet in diameter. Each ring could move independently around a different axis. It was a marvel to look at...until Milo saw that the innermost ring had a chair attached to it with straps to hold someone in.

He immediately tried to flee, but the dwarves were expecting that and held him tight. They began to chant: "Puke and Twirl! Puke and Twirl."

Two-screws was very proud of the machine. "Isn't she a beauty! You should see her spin! We couldn't think of anyone who deserved the honor of testing her out first more than you!"

Just as Milo was about to be strapped into the seat, a deep, commanding voice yelled out. "Oh, aye! And then his brains will be scrambled for days on end!”

“You'll get your chance to play with Milo, but first we have some business to attend to with him." The speaker was a dwarf Milo didn't think he had met. He was stocky, with corded muscles, a bald head, and a thick, gray beard with streaks of white.

The crowd was disappointed, but they set Milo down and he moved quickly to put his savior between him and the mob. As often happens with mobs when deprived of one victim, they found another. Two-Screws quickly found himself strapped into the machine and was soon whizzing around in a circle at high speed. The rings separated, all spinning in different directions, several dwarfs arguing about who should be at the controls. Two-Screws was laughing hysterically...at first.

"Just my humble opinion, but I think we should get going, Milo. When he starts to spew I don't want to be in the same room."

Milo followed him down the corridor quickly. "Apologies sir, but I don't think I know you? Do I?"

The dwarf exploded in laughter. "Do I look so different then, lad? I guess I do. Sound is probably off as well since I'm not in that tin can. "It's Throttlecog, Milo."

Throttlecog was the Engineer's assistant. Milo suddenly had a bad feeling about what this was all about. "OH! Senior Engineer Throttlecog? I didn't recognize you without...well...you know. Um, can I say that I'm sorry for the mess. Things got a little out of hand. It's my fault, the others were just following along with what I did."

Throttlecog laughed again. "You're sorry? For what? A little damage that we'll fix in a month? That might have gotten you in some trouble before, but not today. Not after all that's happened. Things changed fast and we're all catching up. What you did for us is strange in so many ways. We were at the end of the job, and just waiting for something to end it all. Now everyone is eager to get moving on new projects."

He turned and put a hand on Milo's shoulder and his gaze was serious as he continued. "Do you hear what I'm saying, Milo? You might hear some good-natured grumbling: But no one, not a single one of us, cares at all about some broken machinery vs. the gift of living again. Half of us were crazed zombies that couldn't die. The rest were just aged bodies kept alive by mechanical shells. You changed all that and no one gives a shit that you managed to trash 84.5% of of the existing facilities."

Feeling better, Milo followed Throttlecog to a room filled with white bearded dwarves enjoying their freedom from mechanical suits of armor.

"This is beer? I don't remember it tasting this bad."

"Shut your mouth, it's the best beer we have!"

"It's the only beer we have!"

"And you're lucky to have it! Do you know how hard it is to brew beer with a dusty bag of hops, fermented mushrooms, and dubious yeast molds scraped off of an ancient wheel of cheese? Bah, give it over if you don't want it."

"Stay away from my beer or I'll put you back into that can!!"

Their voices were loud and joyous, if a bit disappointed in hastily brewed mushroom beer.

"Listen up, you yammer heads. Sleeping beauty finally awoke. Boom-Boom solved the problem in his own special way."

The senior engineers all turned as the two entered the room. Some were wearing coveralls, others were dressed in clothing that had seen better days. It was a miracle the cloth had survived this long. All of them had long, white beards that they had braided and tucked into wide leather belts. The belts were a work of art in themselves. Heavy leather was inscribed with runes and studded with gold and gems. Tools of gold and enchanted metals were held in special loops. One dwarf had a massive two-handed wrench on his back, in the style some warriors carried a great sword.

One dwarf who's beard was interwoven with glistening silver wire stepped forth. Milo recognized him by his voice. The Engineer took a deep breath and motioned the others to silence. Then he hooked both thumbs in his belt and he spoke.

"Engineer Milo, your guild owes you great thanks. Your methods are strange, and will certainly be discussed over many a beer, but we won't argue with the results. Your foes are dead, and you've freed your guild brothers from a form of living death. For that you have our thanks."

There were nods and murmurs before the Engineer continued.

"Normally we would have a multitude of questions for you. But frankly, half of us are scared of how you might answer them. I can see from the job roster that you have places to be and things to set straight. So we'll keep this short, for now."

"Firstly, please accept this belt and spanner as a symbol of your rank as a Senior Engineer of this Guild."

Two dwarves came forward with a finely tooled leather belt with a gold buckle that they placed on Milo, complete with a heavy wrench made of Deep Steel.

"Secondly, finish your work and get back here. We need to have a good party. You're one of us now."

"Oh, and we found this cask of ancient cheese in a vault. Some of the juniors...well, Seniors now...some of New Senior Engineers mentioned you might have a liking for the stuff."

The beer was bad, the cheese was outstanding, and the people he shared it with were friends. Milo ignored the small notification that he had messages. They could wait.