Conan: After being rescued, I just want to die quickly

As he said, he bent down and hugged the mouse in his arms, and then continued to look at the situation outside, "Actually, I didn't tell you a secret."

"The first moment I opened my eyes and saw Grandpa, my thoughts at that moment were not happy."

"I was thinking that I should laugh out loud. How come the arc of my smile looks good. Will Grandpa find out that something is wrong with me?"

"And then that day I realized something horrifying."

Qian Yuanxi said calmly, but System No. 3 felt a little uncomfortable. He didn't want his host to continue talking, but he knew that his host needed to vent.

"I found that my feelings for grandpa were not as deep as before. At that moment, I felt like a monster."

— A monster without emotion.

"The time to save the world has blurred my original memory, but I don't want to, I try to laugh, try to accept the kindness my grandpa gave me again."

"But my brain is screaming for me to say no, I don't deserve it, and I know it's my disease."

When Qian Yuanxi said this, he sighed again, then he turned around and walked out of the ward barefoot.

……

The hospital was very quiet at night, and there were almost no people in the corridor. Qian Yuanxi carried the mouse up the cold steps to the rooftop.

"I thought about overcoming this difficulty, but I found that there were too many problems in my body, and there was no time for me to overcome it."

System No. 3 listened silently, clawing at the sleeve of his host, feeling very uncomfortable.

His host shouldn't be like this.

"Are you wondering why you are still so uncomfortable after seeing grandpa when you go home?"

Qian Yuanxi seemed to have mind reading skills, he guessed his system's thoughts, and then he answered in a low voice.

"That's because I can't forget what I've experienced, and I can't let it go. I can't pretend nothing happened."

After saying this, Qian Yuanxi glanced at the door of the roof, he pushed the door and entered, and then he looked at the empty roof.

Feeling the cold wind on his face cleared his mind.

Regardless of the injury on his feet, he walked towards the edge of the roof. This action made System 3 instantly alert.

Various plans were formulated immediately, and at the same time, he began to guess the possibility of what his host would do.

[System No. 3: Xiaoxi, the wind is very cold at night. 】

"But I'm used to it."

[System No. 3: Xiaoxi, should we step back a bit, this distance will easily cause accidents. 】

"It's okay, I'm used to this distance."

Chihara Nozomi finished speaking like this, and then he stretched out his hand and sat on it.

The young man was sitting on the edge of the roof, he was shaking his legs, his expression was numb, "I really want to say sorry to you, because you wasted your energy to send me back, but I didn't return to my original form."

There was pity in Chihara Nozomi's voice. He looked at the sky after saying this, and System 3 shook his head when he heard this.

Then he moved in his host's arms, he was very uncomfortable, he felt wronged for his host.

[System No. 3: Xiaoxi, I didn't blame you, I just want you to go home, you shouldn't be there. 】

"I know, I just feel sorry for you."

[System No. 3: I have no regrets!Xiaoxi, don't think so!Xiaoxi is really great! 】

System 3 comforted him clumsily, and then he thought about his experience, theoretically speaking, he had the same experience as his host.

He experienced this kind of thing just after he broke his shell, and he felt the pain that happened to his host countless times.

However, even if he bears half of the pain, his host still feels uncomfortable.

Chihara Nozomi stretched out his hand to follow the fur of the mouse, then he looked up at the moon in the sky.

He thought he would change.

but.

——The boy is still afraid of the sun, still afraid of contact with people, and he even needs to re-establish trust with his grandfather.

Obviously he shouldn't, but his brain tells him not to trust anyone.

Qian Yuanxi felt that he was very sick.

He thought, and then he looked down at the little mouse in his arms: "Is it troublesome to save me, you can actually bind it with someone else."

[System No. 3: Xiaoxi, I only recognize you.As for what happened, I have no regrets. 】

That is a firm oath.

But Qian Yuanxi still wanted to refute something, but in the end she didn't say anything.

He just thought of a sentence he said before. At that time, he was said to be a sunflower because he liked to bask in the sun. At that time, he argued that he was not.

But at this time, he felt that he was a sunflower—he was a withered sunflower.

The late sunshine cannot save the withered sunflower.

Chapter 054 "Grandpa, Don't Cry"

Qian Yuanxi hugged the mouse, but sat silently on the roof, he didn't jump off.

He thought that if he jumped from here, he would definitely scare the medical staff or the family members of the patients here, and then the traces he left would be difficult to clean.

It would end up making his grandpa sad.

Thinking, Qian Yuanxi hugged the mouse tightly, and put his chin on top of the mouse's head, "My situation is getting worse and worse."

"There are many voices in my heart, some are condemning me, some are abusing me, and some say that I am weak and deserve to end up like this."

"I won't lose my mind now, and then jump from here, I feel that I am actually much better, but no, they are still pestering me."

As Qian Yuanxi spoke, his tone sounded a little choked, which made System No. 3 anxious, and he hurriedly wiped the tears on Qian Yuanxi's face with his little paws.

[System No. 3: Xiaoxi, don't cry. When I hear Xiaoxi cry, I feel bad. 】

"Feel sorry."

[System No. 3: I don't want Xiaoxi's apologies. Xiaoxi wants to cry, so Xiaoxi and I will cry together. 】

Hearing this, Qian Yuanxi didn't seem to have reacted yet, but after he did, he twitched the corner of his mouth, "You won't be happy following me."

[System No. 3: Liar!Xiaoxi is the best!I love Xiaoxi the most!Xiaoxi, hug me!It won't hurt anymore, just give me a hug. 】

The mouse in his arms pushed deeper into the boy's arms, Qian Yuanxi hugged him stiffly, and then he looked at the position where the sun was born.

He raised his finger and pointed: "I used to like to watch the rising sun, because I thought the rising sun was very beautiful at that time, and it represented exuberant vitality."

Having said that, he took his hand back, "Later, I began to like the sun at noon. At that time, the sun is the warmest, especially when it shines on the body."

His eyes looked forward, without any waves.

"Later, I started to like sunsets, I always thought that meant the end."

"Sometimes I think I'm the sunset now, but then I think I shouldn't be, because I hate all sunshine."

"The sun makes me uncomfortable, and the warm feeling makes me weird, and then I start to avoid the sun and hide in a dark place obediently."

"Actually, Gin is right. I am no different from a rat in the sewer. I will die in a sewer full of stench, and I will die in a pile of rats, and I will hide like a rat."

When Chihara Nozomi said this, he put the mouse down, supported his body to stand up, and then walked along the edge.

——The boy was dancing, humming a little tune, and he opened his hands from time to time like a bird that was about to fall, like a seagull struggling to die.

The moonlight shone on the boy's body, casting a layer of soft moonlight on the boy's body, as if covering the boy with a layer of tulle.

That may be the tenderness from the moon.

Chihara Nozomi closed his eyes, his footsteps went from slow at the beginning to quicken later.

It's not like he's dancing, he's dying.

The boy stood on tiptoe and hugged the moon, and finally stepped back and continued walking, enjoying the cold wind.

Qian Yuanxi felt that there was no time when he was calmer than this time. He ran forward, even if there was an abyss in front of him, he seemed to jump into it without hesitation.

But he stopped on the edge, and then he turned around on something.

System No. 3 thinks his host is so gentle.

——The boy's golden hair looked soft under the moonlight, and those sky-blue eyes curled up with a smile at this moment, the moonlight shone on the boy, and the boy was wrapped in white light.

At that moment, System 3 seemed to see an angel.

Then he heard the boy say, "Can you stay here with me all the time?"

"Will you stay with me all the time?"

Before System 3 could answer, he saw the boy turn around again, he raised his hand and began to dance again.

……

System No. 3 couldn't tell what it felt like, but he felt that at this moment, his host was happy under the moonlight.

- is also free and unfettered.

But he wanted to remind his host that he would catch a cold and have a fever if he continued like this, but he didn't want to disturb his host's interest, so he just silently threw a few more energy balls into his host's body.

Then he hunkered down and watched his host dance.

——The boy's dance is very gentle, he is smiling, he is embracing the moon, and he even flies to the sky pretending to be a bird.

However, System No. 3 saw from his host that his host was begging for forgiveness.

Chihara Nozomi was immersed in his own world, with his eyes closed, his bare feet sensing the edges, his brain was running fast.

"He wants to live and not make grandpa sad."

- so tired.

"He wanted to overcome the odds and rise from the darkness to the light."

- so tired.

"He wanted to forget everything, the things he had given up on, the torture."

- so tired.

Qian Yuanxi jumped, and the speed of his feet was getting faster and faster. He couldn't be immersed in the darkness, he had to climb out.

He told himself time and time again that he was safe now, ready to bask in the sun.

It can already be the same as ordinary people.

He comforted himself, warned himself.

—The boy tried to save himself.

But he failed to persuade again and again, and was dragged into the darkness by another self again and again.

At that moment, Qian Yuanxi felt tired.

＊＊＊＊＊＊

On System 3, he witnessed his host jumping from night to early morning. During this period, his host didn't stop to rest, and his feet had already been worn out and bleeding.

He glanced at Chaoyang who was about to get up, thinking about whether to remind him.

But in the next second, he felt the sound of rushing over, and turned his head to look.

What I saw was the elderly man following behind the medical staff, who seemed to have called the police.

The moment he saw the old man, System No. 3 hurriedly ran to his host, he was afraid that his host would be emotional.

But Qianyuan Xi stopped when he heard the movement, and then looked at Grandpa.

There was no wave in his eyes, and then he glanced at the tense medical staff around him, and sighed.

He's in trouble again.

Thinking, he jumped off the edge, and then he walked to his grandfather's place.

He was calm like a normal person, and even apologized for his troublesome behavior after coming to the medical staff.

After finishing everything, Qian Yuanxi looked at his grandfather, and the moment he met his grandfather's eyes, he froze on the spot at a loss.

Qian Yuanxi grabbed the corner of his clothes nervously, lowered his head, his eyes didn't know where to look, he didn't even know what to say at this moment.