This heavenly master is not serious

"My grandfather's name is Hu Guohua. The ancestors of the Hu family were famous big landowners from all over the country. During their most glorious period, they bought more than 40 houses connected by three alleys in the city..."

"Hu Guohua has the most evil ideas. In order to deal with his uncle, after returning home, he went to the village to find a paper maker who made paper figures and horses..."

late at night.

In the B\u0026B room, Xu Yang held his mobile phone and found a horror novel from the Internet, and was telling it vividly.

When he talked about the paper man Hu Guohua had someone stabbed him in, he came to life——

"Ding!"

"The zombie is frightened, its merit value +100, and its constitution +1."

Xu Yang's eyes lit up and he continued talking.

"Ding!"

"The zombie is frightened, its merit value +100, and its constitution +1."

"Ding……"

The succession of system prompts put Xu Yang in a state of excitement, but at this moment...

Bang bang bang! ! !

The resident in the next room slapped the wall and said angrily: "Damn it, are you going to let me sleep?"

"Telling ghost stories in the middle of the night is so bad, isn't it?"

After all, it is a B\u0026B.

The residents renovated the house, and the two houses are separated by partitions. It is normal for the sound insulation to be poor.

Xu Yang frowned and continued talking.

Bang bang bang!

The neighbor next door knocked on the wall again and said angrily: "You're crazy, shut up. Do you believe that I will come over and stuff your head into the vagina?"

In the sarcophagus, Yun Mengxi's eyes lit up when she heard the scolding, and she quickly said: "Xu Yang, why don't you stop talking, it won't be good if it disturbs others' rest."

Xu Yang opened the listening software and searched for the ghost story he just told. He clicked on the playback button and placed his phone on the coffin lid. He stood up and said, "It's okay. Just listen to it for a while. I'll be back soon."

He turned over his hand and took out the hammer.

He used another divine power talisman and a diamond talisman, then walked out of the room silently and went to the next room.

"Are you...Northwestern Hammer King Xu Yang?"

"What do you want to do?"

"I am Xiao Li Kui from Shandong... I advise you not to be ungrateful... Ah... Brother, I was wrong!"

Inside the sarcophagus, Yunmengxi tilted her ears and heard the sound of pinging, pinging, pinging, tinkling bells coming from the next room, followed immediately by the screams and begging for mercy of the "Shandong Xiao Li Kui".

Three minutes later, Xu Yang returned to the sarcophagus with the hammer.

He pulled a table and chairs, placed them next to the sarcophagus, and began to draw symbols.

On the mobile phone, the audio book software is still playing horror stories.

The story-telling ability of voice actors and anchors is obviously not comparable to that of Xu Yang. The atmosphere created by just a few sentences and the ups and downs of the voice made even Xu Yang feel a little cold in his back.

Inside the sarcophagus, Yunmengxi was trembling and about to cry.

only……

With her temperament, she would never give in.

She plugged her ears with her fingers... her hearing was impaired and she could clearly hear a mosquito flying by outside, let alone the sound played from the cell phone placed on the coffin.

What's more, Xu Yang also turned up the volume to the maximum!

"correct!"

"I can pretend to sleep..."

Suddenly, an idea flashed in Yunmengxi's mind, and a bright light bloomed in her beautiful eyes: "Yes, Xiao Xuzi told me stories to make me fall asleep. If I pretend to be asleep, he will definitely not said."

then……

A soft snoring sound came from the sarcophagus.

"Fell asleep?"

Xu Yang, who was drawing the talisman, was slightly startled and complained: "You can fall asleep listening to a ghost story. He is also a talent. Compared with what I had when I was a child... Huh?"

At this time.

The system prompt sounded again.

"Ding!"

"The zombie is frightened, its merit value +100, and its constitution +1."

Xu Yang showed a meaningful smile and thought to himself that this little girl was quite good at pretending to be asleep and snoring, so he continued to immerse himself in drawing the talisman while still playing the ghost story on the mobile phone placed on the coffin lid.

About 20 minutes later.

Bang bang bang! ! !

Yunmengxi finally couldn't hold on any longer.

She slapped the coffin board so hard that Xu Yang's cell phone dropped to the ground, and the coffin nails fell off. She opened the coffin lid and got out. She stared at Xu Yang angrily and said, "Have you done anything yet?" That's wrong, a ghost story has been broadcasting all the time, why don't you tell me to go to sleep?"

"Ha ha……"

Xu Yang said: "Didn't you ask me to tell you a story..."

He picked up his phone and turned off the listening software.

I glanced at the system properties interface and found that the value behind the [merit value] column had returned to more than 5,000. I immediately yawned with satisfaction and said: "Okay, it's late at night. I have to attend the Taoist conference tomorrow, so I'll go to bed first." Go first."

Xu Yang set the alarm clock, lay on the bed, and soon fell asleep.

Yunmengxi glanced resentfully at Xu Yang who was lying on the bed, and silently returned to the sarcophagus.

She closed the coffin board herself and lay quietly on the jade pillow and fox skin.

only……

As soon as I closed my eyes, the story Xu Yang told appeared in my mind involuntarily, and it was also accompanied by pictures.

Shivered.

Yunmengxi curled up and turned over and over in the small sarcophagus, but couldn't fall asleep.

Especially on the bed outside the sarcophagus, Xu Yang's even breathing sound kept coming, like insects burrowing straight into Yunmengxi's ears, making it impossible for her to sleep!

She angrily kicked the sarcophagus a few times, tossed and turned, and images of ghost stories kept reappearing in her mind...

finally.

She quietly opened the coffin board and tiptoed to the bedside.

Slowly approaching and looking at the sleeping Xu Yang, Yunmengxi murmured: "This little Xu Zi is quite handsome..."

She quietly climbed onto the bed and lay beside Xu Yang.

Feeling the body temperature of Xu Yang's body, the fear caused by the ghost story finally receded. Yunmengxi secretly changed her mind and said, "Xu Yang was sleeping so hard that he didn't know that I climbed into his bed."

"As long as we get back to the coffin before he wakes up in the morning, everything will be perfect..."

With this thought in mind, Yunmengxi gradually fell into sleep.

She slept uneasily, stretching her legs and turning over, and before she knew it, she was hugging Xu Yang.

And Xu Yang...

It was a hot summer day and there was no air conditioning in the room. He was sweating all over while sleeping and was very uncomfortable.

But suddenly...

It feels cool around me, as if someone has turned on the air conditioner.

When I turned over... I felt like I was sleeping with my arms around the air conditioner.

Comfortable sleep is always short-lived.

Xu Yang felt that he had just fallen asleep when the alarm clock on his cell phone rang in his ears.

He slowly opened his sleepy eyes and saw a beautiful face very close to him.

Yunmengxi?

Damn it!

Xu Yang lost all sleep in an instant.

The most important thing is... Yun Mengxi is still resting on his arm, which makes it difficult for Xu Yang to turn around. He can only free his other hand and carefully turn off the alarm clock on his phone.

At this time, he had time to look at Yunmeng Xi.

One person and one zombie, almost face to face at this moment.

Xu Yang could even clearly feel Yunmeng Xi's cool breath and breath...

There was still a drop of crystal saliva hanging from the corner of her mouth.

Two small fangs protruded from the corners of the mouth. Not only was it not scary at all, it actually looked very cute.

Her skin can be broken by blows, without even a single flaw.

Xu Yang couldn't help but stretched out his fingertips and gently poked Yunmengxi's face... It was soft and full of touch. Apart from being cold and without body temperature, it was no different from a human being.

His Adam's apple rolled and he swallowed.

"She sleeps so soundly. If I kiss her secretly, it shouldn't be a problem, right?"

Once this thought came out, it was impossible to suppress it.

Pro-zombie?

It’s exciting just thinking about it!

However, Xu Yang didn’t know...

At this moment, Yunmengxi had already woken up the moment the alarm clock rang.

She only felt her heartbeat speeding up, like a deer bumping around...

"Damn it!"

"Why do I sleep so deeply?"

"This...is too embarrassing!"

"Ah...he, he...this little Xu Zi, how dare you touch my face?"

There was a battle between heaven and man in Yunmengxi's mind, and when she was thinking about how to resolve this embarrassing situation when she opened her eyes later, suddenly... a warm feeling came from her lips.

Her eyes widened suddenly.

Xu Yang, who had just spoken: "..."

One person and one zombie, with big eyes and small eyes. After maintaining this posture for ten seconds, they retreated as if they were electrocuted, and separated instantly.

Xu Yang suddenly jumped out of bed and wiped his mouth quickly: "Bah, bah, bah... Yunmengxi, why are you on my bed instead of sleeping with a good sarcophagus?"

Get the head start!

Xu Yang never fails to try this trick!

Yunmengxi: "..."

She was already slightly angry because Xu Yang said "bah bah bah" a few times. After hearing Xu Yang's words, she became even more furious. She raised her pink fist and appeared beside Xu Yang in a flash. It hit Xu Yang in the eye.

"Oh shit!"

"You penny-pincher...you took advantage of me, and you still dislike me?"

She shouted: "Believe it or not, I will chop you to death?"

ten minutes later.

Xu Yang covered his eyes and walked out of the room.

As soon as he went out, he saw the "Shandong Little Li Kui" wearing a pair of sunglasses and wandering around the yard. He immediately stepped forward and avoided the sunglasses.

"Northwest Hammer King... don't bully others too much!"

Shandong Xiao Li Kui was furious with two panda eyes!

These two panda eyes were left by Xu Yang last night. However, as soon as he finished cursing, he found... Xu Yang's right eye also turned into a panda eye. He was immediately happy and felt the injustice he suffered last night. He swept them away and said with a smile: "Okay, I'll give these sunglasses to you!"

"I'm anxious to attend the Dao Dharma Conference, and I don't have the same experience as you!"

Xu Yang cursed, put on his sunglasses, and strode out of the B\u0026B.

Today, there are many people from the world of martial arts who went to "Louguantai", most of them came to watch the excitement. The "Tao Dharma Conference" held every three years is a grand event for the Taoist sect, and it is also a rare event for people from the world of martial arts. A grand event to see.

Xu Yang finally stopped a taxi, and when he arrived at the "Zongsheng Palace", the first assessment of the Taoist Conference, the "written test", started in three minutes.

This first assessment is the same as the college entrance examination.

In front of the Sanqing Hall of Zongsheng Palace, tables were placed. Each table was more than one meter apart in front, back, left, and right. Most of the Taoist monks wearing Taoist robes had already taken their seats.

There was a staff member on site. After checking Xu Yang's ID card, he said, "Mr. Xu, your seat is No. 82. Please take your seat accordingly."

Xu Yang found No. 82. After sitting down, before he had time to say hello to the left and right, several Taoist priests exuding Taoist charm appeared in front of Sanqing Hall.

They stepped forward to speak one by one, but they were not as verbose as the school leaders. After saying a few words, they announced the official start of the "Fifth Taoism Conference".

Xu Yang secretly looked around.

I saw a Taoist priest who was in the Qi Refining realm gearing up and looking like he was going to show off his skills in the "written test", especially the Taoist priest sitting in front of him. He was about fifty years old, wearing reading glasses, and looked quite handsome. He looks a bit like an old scholar.

This made Xu Yang's confidence soar...

Maybe I can copy it later.

soon.

The examination papers were handed out.

Xu Yang was dumbfounded when he saw it...

Damn it, the Taoist priests before and after me got different test papers than mine?

He gathered his thoughts and looked at the test paper in his hand.

The first question in the test paper is to write silently the first chapter of the Tao Te Ching.

This is simple, Xu Yanghui.

He wrote:

"Tao can be said, it is not Tao, it can be named, it is not named, it is nameless, it is the beginning of heaven and earth, it is named, it is the mother of all things..."

Question two.

What is Zhengyi? Who is the leader of Zhengyi? What is the full name of Zhengyi Sect? Who founded Zhengyi Sect, when and where?

This is also simple. Xu Yang thought about it and wrote——

"The righteous are not evil, the one is not tainted, that is the righteous one. The ancestral heavenly master Zhang Daoling is the leader of the righteousness sect. The full name of the righteousness is: the way of the righteousness of the alliance. It was founded by the ancestral heavenly master Zhang Daoling in the late Eastern Han Dynasty. "

Question 3: "There is no way for misfortunes and blessings, only people call it upon themselves, and the rewards of good and evil follow each other like a shadow" comes from which scripture? Please explain the meaning and main idea of ​​this sentence.

Xu Yang twitched the corner of his mouth and looked at the fourth question silently.

Question 4: Briefly describe the party’s basic policy on religious work.

Xu Yang: "......"

Question 5: As a Taoist cultivator, catching ghosts is a compulsory course. How do you overcome your psychological fear when catching ghosts?

Xu Yang's eyes lit up!

I'm familiar with this!

He pondered for a while and wrote: "Actually, ghosts are not scary. As the saying goes, people are bullied by others when they are kind. When facing ghosts, you must not be kind... The more evil you are, the more afraid of ghosts you are. When your peach wood sword is far away from the ghosts, When the throat is only 0.01 centimeters, I believe any evil spirit will kneel on the ground crying for mercy."

The remaining questions were all diverse and came from various Taoist and Tibetan classics. Xu Yang didn't know any of them, so he chose to submit the papers in advance.

The Taoist priest from Zongsheng Palace collected the test papers and said: "Mr. Xu, please go to the side hall to take a rest. Our Zongsheng Palace has prepared fast meals for all the fellow Taoists... In the afternoon, there will be another assessment."

Xu Yang knew about the afternoon assessment.

It's the "drawing character test".

Xu Yang came to the side hall to have a fast meal and then got some sleep. Soon it was afternoon.

He returned to the examination room again, and this time the questions were exactly the same as everyone else's.

Zongsheng Palace has given out three Taoist talismans for the Taoist cultivators participating in the "Taoism Conference" to copy.

These three Taoist talismans are the "Heavenly Eye Talisman", "Invisibility Talisman" and "Wall Penetrating Talisman". These Taoist talismans are similar in most Taoist sects, but the painting method is slightly different. different.

After Xu Yang got the three Taoist talismans, he started copying them like cats and tigers.

Unexpectedly, he was very lucky. The "Sky Eye Talisman" was successfully drawn in one stroke. The "Invisibility Talisman" was a bit troublesome, and it took him the fourth time to draw it.

The "wall-penetrating talisman" was drawn three times.

It took a total of 28 minutes.

Raising his head, he saw other "candidates" scratching their heads and scratching their heads. Xu Yang thought to himself: "These three Taoist talismans are not difficult at all... I, a newbie who has been learning to draw talismans for more than ten days, have already drawn them. Why do they look like they are constipated and have dystocia?" What does it look like?”

…………

PS: Another big chapter with more than 4,000 words. The 13,000-word update ends today. Can you vote for it?