This Clueless Hero

Ned's eyes were deep, like the ocean.

When he asked me why I was so adamant on learning the spell, there was a consideration to lie and one to tell the truth.

Though lying left a bad taste in my mouth, it would simply be too hard to explain why I was able to cast magic.

To keep some things concealed, it would lead me down a long rabbit hole of explanations that would eventually lead to the one thing I didn't want to talk about.

The fact I came back to life after every death.

In the end, after a few moments of pondering, a bitter smile spread out across my face.

"I guess... It's because I wanted to change my life."

My eyes watched Ned closely for his response.

Would he question my undoubtedly vague answer?

Ned laughed. He stared off into the courtyard for a few moments before speaking.

"I think I understand what you mean. To be honest, my thoughts aren't so different."

My head tilted to the side. Turns out Ned had some understanding while I was the one being confused.

"What do you mean?"

Ned used a hand to brush his hair back.

"Well... I think that this will be a great opportunity to cook. With an entire year, surely my cooking skills will improve rapidly."

This caught me by surprise. My hand scratched the side of my head.

"What about magic? Weren't you really excited to do all of that?"

Ned smiled bitterly.

"Well, of course. Who wouldn't?"

He sighed.

"The only thing is... I don't think we can cast the spells we learn here back on earth. If there really was mana in that place, I'm sure one of the billions of people would have discovered it."

My eyes widened. Billions of people?

...That sounded like an impossibly huge amount.

My thumb and forefinger rubbed against my chin.

"So what will you do with your newfound cooking skill?"

Ned laughed bitterly.

"Well... I would open a restaurant."

He spread his arms out, as if he was trying to hold the entire world.

"Then... I would earn so much money that I wouldn't need to worry about living expenses."

Ned's eyes closed.

"...So much money that my parents wouldn't ask me to abandon my hopes of becoming a professional cook."

My eyes blinked a few times.

"...Money?"

Ned laughed bitterly.

"I mean, that's what it all comes down to, right?"

Money...

That was what people used to buy the food they eat, the houses they live under, and the coats to keep themselves warm.

My hand scratched the side of my head.

"Yeah, I guess so."

Ned nodded.

"...But sometimes it feels like I won't ever make it, no matter how skilled I am, you know?"

My head turned to him.

"Ah, how so?"

Ned smiled bitterly.

"Because I won't be given the chance. Even if I want to try something new, or open my horizons, it would have to be behind my parent's back."

My eyes followed where Ned was looking, out into the courtyard.

Parents...

From what Ned said, they sounded like people that held him back. Yet, he seemed to have some sort of attachment to them.

My back leaned into the chair.

"But why would it have to be behind their back?"

Ned's head fell back, held up by the top end of the chair.

"Well... they wouldn't let me."

My brows furrowed.

"But... why?"

Ned chuckled.

"Oh come on, surely you know this. Our parents want us to get a stable job. We would work ourselves to the bone just to survive, but we would be able to put food on the table."

My body tensed up a little.

"Sounds like a pain."

Ned shook his head. A small sigh escaped him.

"Of course it's a pain. It's how things were set up to work where we live."

Ned shrugged his shoulders.

"In the end... there's only one way to make things work. On one hand, we work ourselves to death, just barely passing through school and work."

He lifted up one hand as though he was a butler carrying a tray of food.

Then, Ned lifted up his other hand.

"On the other hand, after all of our energy was sapped from us, we have to continue working. We would work on what we wanted to do to change our life, our destiny."

He flashed a smile at me.

"Isn't that what you meant? Maybe you yourself didn't really understand."

Honestly, it was a little hard for me to follow what Ned was saying. However, my mind had a vague understanding of what he meant.

"...Yeah."

Ned's smile slowly became a frown.

"Haha... In this way, we work until we break. Then after we break, we continue working."

He paused.

"Only in this way can we truly accomplish what we had truly set out to do."

Ned took in a heavy breath.

"But then... we work so hard, for so little results. Even if we break ourselves, there is only so much we can do while balancing both aspects at the same time."

He licked his lips that had dried up.

"The results end up only being subpar. Nothing compared to the people who always had money and could work on their passion for their entire life."

Ned held his forehead with one hand.

"Even when there are small successes... people will only think, 'Wow, that was cool!'. Yet, when you bring up the fact that you want to make a living out of it, they suddenly lose all respect for you."

He choked.

"They will show their concern about it's stability. That it's not something proper."

My eyes just barely caught a tiny tear slipping down Ned's face.

"In the end, the only person that will recognize our work is ourselves. We slowly work towards a goal where we can't even be certain it will amount to anything."

Ned clenched his fist.

"Because... they are right. It's not something stable. Even if we completely throw ourselves into it, we may simply become nothing. Then, we will have to beg for food. We will spend each day wondering whether we would even be able to survive tomorrow."

His words made me instantly recall the time I climbed out of that canyon. It made me remember the time my eyes looked up at the towering height.

When the last semblance of hope had left my mind.

When I let go of the very rock that held me up.

"...Yeah. Makes you wonder why things are so cruel."

Ned smiled bitterly.

"I guess... that's just the way things are. There doesn't seem to be any real explanation."

We stared out into the courtyard for a moment.

I don't know when, but at some point Ned called out to me.

"Hey, wanna go out into the courtyard?"

A smirk appeared on my face.

"Haha, that's probably better than just staring at it, huh?"

Ned tapped a finger on his forehead.

"Heh, I'm kinda smart, wouldn't you say?"

My eyes rolled.

"Of course."

With that, we went out into the courtyard.

The air was refreshing. Although the walls of the palace blocked most of the wind, the vegetation still swayed about.

The grass seemed to be swimming while the flowers appeared to be having a slow dance. The tree leaves let out a gentle rustling sound, as though they wanted to tell of the secrets in this world, but didn't have the strength to speak out coherent words.

We were unable to see the sun because of the walls, but the dark orange glow that filled the sky reminded us that it was still there.

Ned took a deep breath.

"Feels kinda nice."

A smile broke out on my face.

"Haha, yeah."

Ned walked over to a tree, gently laying his hand on the bark.

"Man... where I lived, you would have to travel far to see a single damn tree."

My eyes blinked a few times.

"...Yet they are so bountiful here."

Ned chuckled.

"Yeah, there are a lot of them in this courtyard, huh?"

I was talking about the forest, but such tiny nuances were unnecessary to bring up.

My steps took me to the middle of the courtyard. My head slowly tilted upwards until it was looking directly up into the sky.

The walls were in the corner of my vision, but between that were the trees and dark orange sky.

My hand raised into the sky, as though it was reaching out for something.

"Hey, Ned."

Ned turned to look at me.

"Yeah?"

The orange glow slowly receded, revealing a starry night. My eyes glazed over.

"I guess... for people like us."

My hair slowly drifted with the wind.

"We just have to keep improving."

A sad smile appeared on my face.

"To keep climbing even when we are the only ones that know."

My hand clenched into a fist, trying to capture the entire world with its minuscule power.

"Until our progress becomes undeniable to even the most skeptical."