There is no Epic Loot here, Only Puns.

Are...are you okay?

Delta looked up from the bottom of the pond at Nu’s box, hanging just below the water’s surface like a moon. She took a long moment to think about the question.

“Nu? I’m a crappy dungeon core?” Delta asked with a hint of a insecurity creeping into her voice. The fish around seemed to crash into each other in shock and there was a flurry of bubbles and splashing.

The Golden Scaled fish in particular almost leapt out of the pond, it’s brilliant scales gleaming as water dripped off it.

Most likely. You have no control over what happens around you, you refuse to devour those that invade you on a regular basis, you handicap yourself in every aspect in terms of traps and monster instructions. You spent far too much on things that just will take far too long to bear fruit, you let your monsters do whatever they like, develop what seem like useless talents, personalities, and honestly you miss important details when it comes to your construction that if I didn’t edit everything a little, it would be filled with holes or worst, just collapse. So in theory, yes. You are a terrible core.

Delta stared, her mouth hanging open. She felt her dark mood spilling over her rational thoughts.

But who cares? It’s far too late to take back what we’ve done. You are a great innovator, the many things you have tried may not lead to explosive growth but they are interesting enough to pass the time. You are not concerned about being a Dungeon Core. You wish to be a decent person. Everything around you becomes alive. You do things that I would have never thought of and the various results speak for themselves. We would have surely died if we were a mere Dungeon Core. Your kindness may have saved us all from the people of Durence. It does pain me to watch you fumble through everything but I also feel great pride when things do work out despite that. I am Nu, master of perfection, signs, and dealing with your antics. I can at least appreciate you are using me to my full potential. I think many lesser dungeons would have squandered me honestly...

All around the pond, the fish danced happily as they seemed to agree with Nu. Delta looked around, a bright smile breaking out across her face.

“Nu... thank you! I... well, thank you,” she said, standing with a sudden burst of energy.

I assume this is because you nearly killed that annoying child?

Delta deflated as the words stabbed into her but Nu merely floated upwards, making Delta follow to read his next words.

Mana Poisoning. I had never considered it a problem since we are so small but the boy was particularly frail in that regard. It is not your fault, you saved his life. The fact you didn’t take his bag killed me a little but I am a big mature Navigation Unit, I can deal.

“So what exactly happened there? He just couldn’t handle my mana or was mine just that bad?” Delta touched down on the pond room floor with a perplexed expression.

Nothing of the sort. Dungeon mana is rich. It is... a good example is drinking. The boy has had barely lukewarm milk all his life and then came here and drank more than his fair share of solid spirits.

“So Grim couldn’t hold his mana..tinis” she smiled weakly at Nu.

That was bad. You should feel bad and then you should go back to your pond for a few days. I feel dirty. Honestly, how hard is for you to say that Grim wasn’t a stout man? Or perhaps, the bar was set too high for him? If you are going to continue to torment me with the puns, you might as well make them good!

Delta slapped her thigh as she broke out in wheezing laughter.

I... you heard nothing!

Delta was wiping at her eyes as she struggled to breathe.

Nu’s box was blank for several seconds before he shuddered.

Let us get to business before I break and become even less like a MENU and more like the punchline to some slapstick joke. Let us walk, well float in my case. Mastro! Play something other than that obnoxious song!

Nu seemed to talk to the wall, his words flashing. There was no response but the upbeat music that had been on repeat suddenly turned to a slow piano and a long relaxed saxophone.

“I liked that song...” Delta grumbled.

Yes... far too much. Just because he promised to make you a theme song for your dungeon doesn’t mean we must hear it every hour. Now, as you may remember, the brat was carrying his fair share of lovely, wonderful, items. I’ve been holding back the notifications until you were ready. Let us see...

Delta had to admit, the jazz music was making her feel rather smooth. She did a little slow turn as Nu began to pull up notification windows.

Glass vial with tiny traces of antidote absorbed! Weak Antidote is unlocked. 15 Mana

Delta remembered Grim drank something in the spideroom, she hadn't known he had thrown the vial away. Not that she would think her own spiders would rebel but knowing out somewhere in the forest was a bunch of giant spiders... it was good to have options.

“So, it’s like a spider antidote or...?” Delta asked and Nu paused.

No, it’s a general weak antidote. It purges the body of magical or particular common poisons. Or dilutes the more severe ones. It would be a pain if people needed a specific cure for every single common illness or infection.

Delta gave him a long look.

“Nu, does this thing cure the common cold?” she asked bluntly and the box paused to think about it.

I think it does.

Delta was impressed.

But not the magical less-common-but-still-average cold.

“This world is hell. But at least it has nice people in it...” Delta muttered to herself.

Sand Elf Dust absorbed! Average Sleeping Powder unlocked. Can now be added to various traps(remember those things?) or to items for a selection of effects. 20 Mana for a bag of powder or equivalent amount.

“Oh yeah, he was going use that on Merry before he dropped it. Looks pretty handy, I mean putting people to sleep and chucking them out the dungeon sounds great if they’re troublemakers!” Delta exclaimed excitedly.

I would think so. Just be careful. None of your monsters will have immunity except for the mushy’s and we’ll have to test how potent or long lasting this stuff is. Next one is exciting.

Water crystal absorbed! The effect this thing has is interesting. It allows water to be produced as long as mana is injected. The crystal itself wouldn’t last long in the actual world but a dungeon made crystal, while in the dungeon, is constantly being repaired. A habit I got into very early on around you. Unlike the waterfall and the river, which is just water being circulated back in on itself by a loop of tunnels that seemed to exist outside the room and cannot actually be accessed to be explored, the crystals will produce new water. It also seemed to unlock several upgrades for current water features.

Delta perked up and looked back at her fish pond.

Indeed. When placed and grown in a body of mostly still water, it seems to... I am currently not exactly sure but almost bless or enhance the water. The issue would normally that the crystal would erode very quickly as the water absorbed the crystal and it would take a few hundred or so of these weak ones to really go anywhere but...

“Since we’re dungeons and cheat, we can just repair the crystal casually over time and only need a few which means that dungeons rule,” Delta beamed.

In layman terms, yes. I suggest planting a few here in the pond to see what happens. For science. Dungeon science!!! But we have more items to go before you zoom off to cause chaos or birth new monstrosities like some mythological brood mother.

“Nu. I am not that bad!” Delta protested as the music suddenly became a dramatic piano as if to contest her words.

Please. I leave you alone for 5 minutes and I’ll come back to you creating one of those bat critters and in an hour it will know necromancy and demand wine or grapes and call us all servants as it acts like some lord of a castle! I know you!

Delta felt this was very unfair. She had no control over anything. Except for Mr Mushy... and maybe giving Maestro music...and allowing the spiders to develop a medieval society. Giving Cois fire... Buying Bob... Contracting Renny...

“...what’s the next item?” she said grumpily.

It’s a bit odd. I don’t seem able to pinpoint exactly where or how Grimnoire dropped it, the item is a bit abstract.

Delta, walking over the pond’s surface as she listened, paused to look back at Nu. Waddles ruffled his feathers as he watched the scene.

“Abstracted in what way? Some elemental thing? Did he drop some magical one-time use thing?” she prodded with interest. Nu took a moment to answer.

It’s better if I just show you.

Ability gained!

1x ‘Liber-devourer’!

Delta reread it about a dozen times but the meaning of what Nu was trying to say was still not really becoming any clearer.

“How did we gain an ability? Did Grim drop some orb or a skill book or what?” Delta scratched at her nose. Below her feet, a school of fish swam happily around to the sound of her voice.

Honestly? I think this was because of him almost dying. If what you said was correct, about the dungeon mana almost completely overriding his own then it could have been enough to... absorb enough of Grim to basically gain his innate ability by emulating the process used when we take in items. I assume that usually, these things might happen if dungeons kill people but I... I will ask Sis. She may know.

The box vanished as Nu went wherever the inner-system was. Delta frowned and sat down next to Waddles.

“Waddles, why do things keep becoming complicated? I barely get the hang of the number-vision and now I can copy abilities? If my eyes turn red, you’ll keep me in line, right?” she joked and the duck simply eyed her.

“Well, you’re usually confident, what would you do now?” she inquired. Waddles stood, tapping each foot once before he swam casually into the pond, he stopped near the middle.

Delta looked down at the secret entrance to the second floor, hidden to those that had not caught a silver or golden fish. Waddles dived and nudged a tiny rock slightly above the entrance.

He resurfaced and looked at her.

Delta stared back.

Waddle’s eyes seemed to glow with annoyance and Delta looked down at the rock with confusion.

Closing her eyes, she pushed her initial reaction of sighing and walking away confused, to gather herself.

Delta slowly pulled on the numbers but as they rushed towards her eyes, she shut them. The flow seemed to stop in confusion. Delta mentally imagined on tugging on lava lamp-like balls of light. She pulled and felt it slid around her face and into her ears.

Waddles wasn’t dungeon-born. He was dungeon-enhanced.

Delta frowned as the terms popped into her head. Dungeon-born? Enhanced?

“Waddles, Dark Drake, what are you trying to tell me?” she asked slowly, keeping her eyes shut as the energy still tried to bypass her eyelids.

“The crystal. Put the crystal there.” The voice deep and princely. Delta snapped her eyes open in shock and the number power dispersed like dandelions in the wind.

Delta winced as her ears began to ring with a high-pitched and shrill noise. It felt like she was getting bad feedback noise.

Waddles just looked at her.

“Right, good idea. Something to do while I wait!” Delta perked up, rubbing her ears. She opened the menu to look through the list.

Water Crystal: A small crystal with the element of water imbued in its shell. Adding to a water source will unlock something. Cost 25 mana and reduce total mana by 1 to sustain its existence.

Delta had a sudden thought.

“What if I put a fire crystal in a forge or something?” she muttered but no one answered for once so, with some excitement, she dove into the water. The little stone was one of many but it was almost flat so she put a hand on the surface and purchased the water crystal.

Like a seedling, the crystal, the size of a screw, poked out of the rock with a little crack and Delta stared at it.

“Aww... it's cute!” she declared and then there was an ominous crack and the entire stone spit in half as the rest of the crystal pushed itself out like growing coral. The entire bottom of the pond began to glow like a star had fallen into its waters.

The coral crystal seemed to curve up and over itself forming some umbrella style top. It almost looked like a...

Delta took three steps back.

“Just... it’s just a coincidence. Just because it looks like a... I mean...” Delta nervously stepped out of the pond.

Good job on being busy. I see you’ve managed to make a simple water crystal purchase into another Delta-incident.

Delta turned and glared.

“It wasn’t my fault!” she declared. Nu simply shook his box and ignored her protests.

I talked with the system. It is beyond rare you would ever get a direct ability from a human. Even those with innate talents. It takes special methods of mana infection, extraction or contracting to get an pristine template to obtain an ability. As you have not gotten anything from Renny or Waddles, I can only agree with Sis that you were lucky in the fact Grim was already so frail. His defences, underdeveloped as they are, were easily overcome.

Nu looked down at the crystal in the water.

Sis said something... I didn’t quite understand this but Sis said your mana is particularly good at mingling with human mana. It takes dungeons a long time to learn how to do more than simply poison people. Yours was doing that but it was also doing something more. Sis didn’t have enough data so this is a mere hypothesis. We both think you were trying to ‘fix’ Grim.

Delta clenched her fist.

“I almost killed him. He didn’t look fixed in any way,” she argued. Nu nodded.

We’re all learning. Now you know what to look for, to gauge if someone is in danger from your powers. You won’t let it happen again. You’re far too nice for your own good. Shame, I could see a use for a library filled with rare powers... Then again, with you. You’ll make something interesting happen. Fungi related, no doubt.

Nu sounded happy but Delta felt like his words had a double meaning. She opened her mouth but shut it as Nu suddenly shifted.

The crystal is working. I’m seeing the available mana in the water rising. No results yet but... oh, I am excited. Fish! Tell me if any of you develop three eyes or grow legs!

The school of fish all bubbled with understanding.

Delta looked between them and sighed.

“Maybe it’ll make the water tasty or something. It doesn’t have to do anything too weird...” she muttered.

----

Grim opened his eyes and licked his lips.

He tasted metal. He frowned, wondering if he bit his tongue or lips. This looked like his... room?

“Hey son, don’t move too much. You’re okay now.” Grim looked over and saw his Dad, big and burly with half a chewed spoon in his mouth.

“Mum is going to wack you for eating the spoons again,” he croaked. His Dad cracked a smile.

“Your Mum will do worse when she sees what I did to her cooking pots. You know I stress eat...” he chuckled.

The easy tone set Grim’s nerves at ease. He expected, and still sort of did, a punishment. Once he was better maybe...

A hot scorching sensation suddenly seared his tongue and he winced.

“Hey boy, how are you feeling?” came the voice of his grandfather. Grim stared at him with wide-eyes. His grandfather came closer and the hot sensation grew. Grim winced but then suddenly his was held by someone, warm and soothing.

His tongue cooled and he tasted... not blandness but a softness. It relaxed Grim but it also alarmed him as his mother pulled back.

“Grim...oh my boy,” she whispered and stroked his hair back into place.

“Mum? My tongue! Something is wrong,” he blurted out as he ran a finger over his tongue a second later and all the adults shared a look.

“Grim. Do you remember what happened?” His grandfather asked and Grim closed his mouth with a guilty look.

“I... went to the dungeon,” he put it simply, not adding any details incase they didn’t know the whole story. His father raised one brow.

“The dungeon you knew you weren’t allowed to go?” he pushed and Grim shifted.

“My boy, it’s fine- well, not really, it was a bloody stupid thing to do but we’re glad you’re home. The dungeon saved your life. Carried you out when you were about to bite it,” the old man said and his mother shot him a look.

“Pic, you know I kicked you out for those annoying-” she began but something bubbled over Grim. An urge he couldn’t stop, like a building sneeze.

“It was more than I could swallow,” he blurted out.

There was absolute silence in the room.

“D-did... you just make a joke?” his Dad asked with surprise and Grim honestly couldn’t answer him.

He was too worried that something else might slip out instead.

---

Delta had a plan.

It was a good plan and she even had Nu go over it with a fine comb. After making the water crystal, the urge, the itch, to build and create rose up in her.

Flaws and issues plagued her dungeon, her home. Grim had been key in solving those.

She watched as Mr Mushy tried to conduct for his brother. Maestro patiently allowing him to wave the little thorny baton around and letting his brother create a small peppy melody. The giant, mind-breakingly, the soul-scarringly horrible looking mushroom was actually a lot sweeter with his brother now that he fully developed his musical persona.

He even let Mr put a few pots around the pyramid like room.

Delta shivered near the door but felt better at the sight.

“Next time one of those punks swings a knife at you, come let me know and I’ll show them how to use human skulls as bongo drums,” Maestro winked at his brother and Delta fled as the image was just too much.

Cute but it took its toll.

She could upgrade the first floor more but it was decent enough to slow and challenge people. Now the boss door was locked, Delta felt like she could focus on the second flow before adding more perfection to the first.

So she flew down the stairs after waving to her monsters. Cois and Numb snoozing away in the camp, refilling themselves on the first-floor mana. Delta noticed it was lighter, almost drafty in feel when compared to the hot and moist mana of the second floor.

Before long she stood high in the air, looking down at her almost alive jungle.

“Nu, fetch me the list of any critters we have and phase out what we have on the first floor for now,” she requested and the box besides her shifted.

Common Bat: 5 DP : A simple brown bat. Creates 2 bats per summoning. This average sized bat hangs about your dungeon to give it atmosphere and freak out the most easily startled of adventurers. As basic creatures, they cannot evolve unless some unique element or being is absorbed by the dungeon.

Forest Mouse: 5 DP: A simple mouse. Creates 4 mice per summoning. A normal mouse that lives in the forest and near towns. Cannot evolve unless a special element or item is absorbed.

Grass Snake: 8 DP. A common snake found in most grassland areas. Its sharp fangs have a bite but lacking any venom. They’re timid creature's, running where they can. Cannot evolve unless a special element or item is absorbed.

Durence Jays: 5 DP. A tiny sparrow-like bird that has a pleasant song. Cannot evolve unless a special element or item is absorbed. (I’ll just assume you get the idea by now- Sis)

Cave centipede: 1 DP. A small hand-length centipede with a painful if harmless bite.

Wood Lizard: 5 DP: A brown lizard that blends in with tree trunks and branches. Fast and hard to spot.

Black Owl: A small owl that lives in a cave due to its colouring. Tiny sharp talons.

Dwarf mole: 5 DP Named not for its size as it is in fact almost twice as big as a common garden mole but for its squat shape, beard-like head-fur and stubborn demeanour.

Cave crawlies: 1 DP A small swarm of various tiny insects normally found in forest caves, mostly for ambience.

“We didn’t get any monster unlocks from these?” Delta blinked with surprise.

We still haven’t gotten any spider monsters that we didn’t self-develop and we killed a few giant monster ones. We seemed to get the Crayclaw monster from the Crayfish as we didn’t have any water monsters yet. The system seems to give us a ‘freebie’ as it were for each new type of monster then we must work for the rest. I assume once we get more actual parts or proper monster parts, or even maybe proper research, we can do something.

“Hm, well, I think we have the power aspect covered for the most part but it’s time for this jungle to get some ambience that isn’t pumped over the speakers,” she grinned and flexed her fingers.

She floated down and began to make life.

Mice scurried off into bushes and through plants. A few snakes curled up in the Wylin tree. A few owls flew into the circus cave. Two lizards went very still on a tree together.

A box appeared.

By adding 10 or more critters to the jungle, you have unlocked the following critters for the jungle.

Alluring Delbirds: A bird with orange plumage that draws people's attention with its songs and... word play. 8 DP

Lotus Turtles: A turtle with an almost flat shell top that looks like a frail piece of lotus. Floats all day sleeping. 8 DP

Vexing Foxes: Playful foxes that like leading people off the beaten path. Have a habit of stealing shiny objects. 8 DP

Jester Maquaces: About the size of a large housecat, these monkeys get their name for the habit to screech, howl and laugh at people wandering through the jungle, sometimes pelting them with fruit and other such “jokes.” 8 DP

Delta eyed her 90 DP remaining, not sure how much she go crazy and fill her jungle with. She purchased a few sparrows and a Delbired.

The Durence Jays were small and brown with red beaks. They scattered with a flutter of excitement but the Delbird looked up at her.

It slowly spread its plumage and its orange chest puffed out.

“Aww, you’re going to make this jungle so cool, plus you’re good at singing or distracting people!” Delta told it as if it wasn’t already away.

“Like two birds with one stone!” it squawked and Delta froze.

“Did you just make a pun?” she asked slowly.

“Bit of a bird-brain!” it agreed. Delta couldn’t hold back the smile that formed as Nu’s box glitched.

“I love you,” she whispered.

“Birds of a feather!” it sang and flew off, its wonderful orangeness barely visible like a tiger in the woods.

Delta danced on the spot.

“I love this. Making everything and the results!” she said to Nu. The box sighed.

Yes, it does leave a good feeling. Shame it comes with so many painful puns attached.

He grumbled and Delta flew to the tunnel, eyeing it. She focused on it and her DP dipped slightly as the tunnel stretched wider and wider. It looked less like a cave and more like a highway tunnel. After a moment, Wilhelm slowly walked out and looked around the lush jungle.

“Sorry for the wait!” Delta called and Wilhelm inhaled and grunted softly. One of the new Black owls was nesting in the shaggy hair on his head. It glared at the noise and flew back into the tunnel.

Wilhelm took off, eager to stretch his legs. His silver fur gleaming in the darkness of the trees.

Delta looked into the tunnel and felt a rising urge to do more with the circus but she had a plan, dammit!

She took off again and headed to a secluded spot that didn’t have anything in it. It was a bit far from the entrance but... the water crystal had given her an idea. Just because she had a fire crystal option, didn’t mean she had to wait for a fiery place to use it.

Nice and easy. We don’t want you creating a volcano... actually, never mind. Do your best! I’m sure we could make a drainage ditch for it if needed.

Delta stubbornly ignored the cheerful box. There would be no lava level here.

She hadn’t even done a proper water level yet. Everyone loved those! Delta felt the sarcasm grow thick in her own mind and shook it clear.

If she had to have a water level, she would break the mold and make it bearable. It would be pacific and the design would not be made by someone who might be a little... cra-sea.

Delta giggled and wondered where her new Delbird was...

---

“Begone!” Devina commanded, her greenish skin going blue with anger. The bird tilted its head at her.

“Okay... witch way?” it fired back and Devina held back a scream.

---

Delta sure it was fine.

She focused on the earth, the fresh green weeds, grass and empty soil. A second later, it was all gone. They didn’t count as objects but terrain so it was easy to disperse.

She whistled as a soil was slowly covered by a smooth rock. It was a slow process because she was shaping the rock as it spread. The idea at first was a perfect bowl but Nu had pointed out that there was no way to get out if one was too slippery or wet. So, Delta made little ‘seats’ and ledges for people to sit on, curved for maximum comfort.

Then once it looked good, she ringed the entire thing with a flat rock that spread out so if someone got out they wouldn’t immediate stand on wet soil. With that done, she filled the entire thing with clean pure water.

It filled up perfectly, no signs of a leak or such. Nu was too busy examining the piece to actually comment on anything. Then she placed a fire crystal and water crystal at the bottom of the water, covering them in a tiny wooden box with a open criss-cross fence.

The crystals again curved upwards but Delta ignored that.

She waited for a moment.

“Come on... come on...” she prayed and then as she was about to go check on the crystals, the water surface began to steam.

She could see the water level rising up as the water crystal began to output more water than the hole could handle.

“Nu, any luck?” she called, hoping that her friend could tell her good news.

I’m looking... I don’t see anything, hmm... I gue- It’s here! It just appeared!

Nu sounded excited and Delta hurried to open her menu.

A box was waiting for her.

Would you like to make this area into the ‘Hotspring Area’? Cannot be undone unless destroyed.

Delta hit the yes button and the area flashed and went calm again. The water was now beginning to spread out now. Unlike the pond, the excess water had no fancy dungeon space tunnel to be flushed into where it went somewhere that made no sense.

In the menu, she found her answer.

Hotspring Area:

Allow excess water to be removed and replaced with fresh water from the crystal. 10 DPIncrease the healing properties of the water, minor injuries can be treated with a session. 20 DPCreate two small huts for changing on either side of the spring. 15 DPPut a fence that separates the spring in half. Has simple alarms to warn of intruders for spa users. 15 DPSurround the spring with Bamboo to create more ambience. 15 DPLet the water cure weak status-effects. 30 DP *unlocked by Weak antidote*

Delta purchased the first one and the water slowed and then began to drain back into the spa.

Lucky us. Sis was aware of what we needed and managed to work something out. I still think letting people rest so close to the potential boss room is problematic.

Delta spent some mana and an offering table appeared next to both the hits used for changing.

“Trust me. After fighting their way down here, they’ll be grateful and getting something for letting them bath when who knows what they might leave behind or bath off for us to use for ourselves? To’s a win-win!” Delta grinned and Nu was silent for a moment.

I... am impressed.

Delta suddenly looked sheepish.

“I just thought of it,” she admitted. Delta suddenly focused on what Nu had said before.

Boss room.

The second floor still had no Boss. She remembered she had to choose a monster to become the boss. Fran had a special option because of Bacon.

So, if she made a boss room here, every monster on this floor might suddenly have wildly different requirements and Delta would have to choose one of her monsters to become a boss or make a brand new monster that she might not have such a good understanding of...

Devina was a wild card but too newly evolved. Rale was happy with Bob. Bob was... well, not something she thought of when it came to jungle bosses. Wilhelm guarded the circus and Renny was a contract.

The Queen ran her kingdom and the rest where critters. The boss room was important but Delta had not created enough variety or forces to really give a boss monster proper thought.

“Better start now then,” she mused and went to the far end of the Jungle room and with some nervousness, created a tunnel into a wide room.

Nothing stopped her and she didn’t run into anything but empty soil.

Delta breathed out with relief.

The option came up before she could even open a menu.

Would you like to make this a boss room? Cannot be undone unless destroyed.

“Sis... let’s do it.”

Boss room created! Candidates can now be selected!

“I wonder if Delbird wants the job...” Delta wondered aloud and Nu’s box nearby fizzled with a loud protest.

Delta would just do what she always did when it came to making important choices. Jab random buttons and ask if anyone wanted the job with a polite tone.

It hadn’t failed her so far.