The Trashy PD Has To Survive as an Idol

“What did you say?”

I asked, but Kang Ichae didn’t answer and continued playing a few more rounds of his rhythm game. He soon wilted and threw his phone aside as he muttered,

“I’m hungry…”

I had a strange feeling that he was ignoring me…. Keeping an uneasy gaze on him, I had a sudden hunch.

Could this be a chance to win over Kang Ichae?

Ding!

[I’m not exactly sure what you’re thinking, but it doesn’t seem like that.]

Ignoring the system window’s tackle, I cleared my throat.

“Ichae, you know I’m always by your side, right?”

“What nonsense are you talking about?”

“Whenever you’re struggling, I’m always by your side, ready to listen.”

“I don’t need it, though.”

“…”

He didn’t match my pace today and was quite cranky. Kang Ichae, staring intently at my rotting face, smirked slightly.

“I know you’re ready to listen… but you don’t know what others want to hear.”

“…!”

Even after that incident, Kang Ichae returned to his usual self without a word and played around. I thought it was just passing by…

Wasn’t it?

There’s only one conclusion.

Is this a sign of a breakup?

An opportunity for our team to divide because of individual activities? Did Kang Ichae express his dissatisfaction because of the team’s atmosphere or something like that?

Paak!

I sat up and threw the script exaggeratedly to the corner of the practice room. Kang Ichae’s eyebrows wriggled.

“Should I not do it?”

“What?”

“Should I not do this? You don’t like my individual activities? Ichae, just say the word, and I’ll listen.”

As I tried to control the atmosphere and listen to anything, Kang Ichae, looking quite displeased, spat a hollow laugh and stared at me.

“You’re funny~.”

“…”

“Saying just the word.”

He fucking mocked me.

“Even if you make up your mind to do it your way, you still make a fuss about it.”

“…It hurts a little.”

“It hurts because it’s true. And stop whining. It’s annoying when you only do that when it’s not in your favor.”

“…”

Ding!

[ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ(omission)]

…The system window that had been cautiously watching my every move for several days was now laughing at me. This was the first time I saw the “ㅋ” being abused like this, and I felt a little—no, very offended.

Whether I was sitting helplessly or not, realizing that such coaxing wouldn’t work on Kang Ichae anymore, he picked up his phone again.

“Ah… I’m really hungry.”

Kang Ichae rolled over while lying down, then suddenly got up.

Wow, shit… Kang Ichae was really cranky today. I couldn’t figure out how to deal with his 21-year-old puberty, but his expression returned to normal.

Was he over it now?

“Let’s go eat with the members.”

“Order whatever you want. I, not hyung, will treat you.”

“Lobster, Almas caviar, Wagyu sirloin steak. For dessert, Hawaiian Kona coffee.”

“…”

Nope, he was still upset….

***

“Cough! Cough!”

“Why is he acting like that again?”

“Leave him be. He wants to make a toast.”

Even though his expression returned to normal, I had to appease Kang Ichae’s constant whining with beef. Finally, we reached an agreement.

Jeong Dajun, who was deeply immersed in a drama he’d watched recently, stood up, tapping a glass filled with frothy soda using a fork.

“I sincerely thank everyone who came today. Maknae Jeong Dajun pays his respects.”

The hyungs clapped their hands casually as they grilled the meat.

“Finally, after all the hard work!! We received a significant settlement. Sob, it’s so touching…!”

I couldn’t help but snicker at the sight of Jeong Dajun wiping away his fake tears with a thin recycled tissue he took from the table.

“Doesn’t he seem to be getting more brazen as time goes on?”

“Hoyun, you’re not in the position to say that.”

“He’s following your lead. They say kids should be careful even when drinking water in front of them….”

“…”

Seong Jiwon attacked, and Kim Seonghyeon backed him up.

After taking a beating from Kang Ichae earlier, I now received a right hook, left hook, and jabs from Seong Jiwon and Kim Seonghyeon. I comforted myself by diligently putting beef in my mouth.

“I dedicate this honor to all my hyungs… to Manager-hyung, to Smooth Executioner Jiwo-hyung, to Seonghyeon-hyung, who can cure myopia with a mere glance, to the most handsome in The Dawn, Ichae-hyung, and to the coolest, Hoyun-hyung…!”

“…”

“If I were to list all of that person’s talents, there would be endless praises…!”

“Just one verse.”

I shoved a piece of meat wrap into Jeong Dajun’s mouth as he was reciting a toast.

“Mmway, churs ~!!”

“Cheers~”

We all clinked our cider glasses together.

Since it was the day of the settlement, everyone was still a bit excited.

Jeong Dajun asked with a mouthful of meat.

“Hyungs! Are you going to buy anything?”

“I don’t have anything in particular.”

“Ugh, boring~.”

“Being boring is the best, you know?”

It meant that there were no issues.

At my response, Jeong Dajun burst into jeers and held a spoon like a microphone, shoving it in front of Kim Seonghyeon.

“I’m thinking of paying off some of my family’s debt.”

“Eh?! Seonghyeon-hyung, you have a lot of debt?”

“No, it’s not much. I have a lot of siblings, so there are some small debts here and there.”

“…You’re not going to use it all up, are you?”

When Seong Jiwon asked worriedly, Kim Seonghyeon waved his hand.

“No, no. It’s not much, so I can pay it off. I’ve asked my parents for a lot of help since I was a trainee… So, I’m just repaying them.”

“What about you, Jiwon-hyung?”

Seong Jiwon thought hard. Then, he fiddled with his fingers and smiled faintly.

“…I want to have a meal with my grandmother.”

“Oh! Filial son, filial son!”

“Ahaha.”

The conversation naturally moved to the last person, Kang Ichae. Pretending not to care, Ichae stuffed some meat into his mouth and tilted his head at the gathered gazes.

“I don’t have anything particular either. Dajun, what should I buy for you?”

“Eh?”

At that remark, Jeong Dajun was startled. Kang Ichae casually continued while flipping the meat.

“What… do you want? Shoes or clothes?”

“Hyung, I got my settlement too. I’m fine!”

“Ah, okay, okay~.”

Jeong Dajun sullenly refused the offer.

As I put grilled kimchi in the wrap, I glanced at Kang Ichae.

He had been a bit… strange since the last time.

He had a slightly different sense of money than ordinary people… That’s what I meant. Kang Ichae looked up, and our eyes met, so I naturally turned my head and asked Jeong Dajun.

“Dajun, what are you going to spend your money on?”

“As for me!”

Jeong Dajun blushed slightly.

“I’m going to put it in my savings account!”

“…”

“I have a savings account from when I was in elementary school, where I collected my pocket money. I’m going to put it in there!”

“…”

We all silently put meat and side dishes on Jeong Dajun’s rice. Dajun was confused, not knowing the reason as we moved on to the next topic.

“So, when does the filming start?”

“In three days.”

“What? That’s so fast.”

“We have to shoot for two months and then start promotions right away. What are you guys going to do in the meantime?”

“…”

For a moment, the members sneaked glances at each other and exchanged opinions with their eyes before putting down their chopsticks.

“Weeell, actually.”

“What?”

“That’s right~.”

“What is it?”

Why were they dragging their words out nervously?

“What should we do?”

“It seems like we can tell him now.”

Seong Jiwon looked at Kim Seonghyeon, who decided it was the right time and opened his mouth.

“Me and Dajun, we decided to appear on a dance variety show.”

“Huh?”

“It’s a dance program… The planning is really fresh. PD Kim Heeyeon recommended it, too. …Joo Woosung-sunbae might also appear.”

“Oh~.”

Just as we were about to clap and admire, Seong Jiwon cut in.

“Actually, I’m going to sing the OST for Hoyun’s drama.”

“Oh~?”

“Then, is Ichae composing the song?”

“Wow, it was amazing. You know, when Ichae-hyung found out about the OST offer from Cheongbeom, he stayed up all night like crazy working on the beats and samples. He then went to pitch it.”

But why didn’t I know?

“Ultimately, I, the genius Kang Ichae, succeeded. It’s a real mystery where this talent comes from…”

“Don’t try to make rhymes with your name.”[1]

Jeong Dajun disapproved, but Kang Ichae shamelessly added a few more rhymes, diligently chewed some more beef, and swallowed.

“Also, I’m currently working on the title and B-side tracks for our regular album with Composer Lim Hyeonsu. It’s already keeping me busy.”

“Oh…?”

Everything was good. Everything was fine…

Why was all this news pouring in all at once?

I asked while scooping up some kimchi with chopsticks.

“What’s the matter with you guys?”

“…”

The members were taken aback.

“Are you excluding me? Why didn’t I know?”

“…Ahaha!”

The members awkwardly laughed and scratched their heads. An expression that meant “Who’s going to say it?” went back and forth between them until the Buddha-like Seong Jiwon spoke up.

“Well, actually, we talked about it a lot.”

“What?”

“Hoyun, we thought you might be burdened by acting as a personal activity.”

“…”

Well, wasn’t that true?

“But we thought it would be great if you could try everything you want and can do.”

“That’s right! Hyung! We have to try everything!”

“So, it’s better to do individual activities separately and regroup for the regular album.”

The members explained further and burst into laughter. Jeong Dajun, who usually chattered away, seemed to have been frustrated by keeping this a secret. As soon as Seong Jiwon finished speaking, he brushed his chest and laughed heartily.

“Kyah! We finally said it. We meant to tell you earlier… but we missed the timing.”

“Right.”

Finally, I understood how things were going. I caught Kang Ichae’s eyes and realized why he acted as he did.

I took a sip of water and let out a deep sigh.

“…Thanks.”

“…!”

“You guys thought a lot about it… I can finally relax and get things done.”

Everyone’s eyes widened, and they suddenly piled side dishes on my rice, just like we had done to Jeong Dajun earlier.

“Hoyun, don’t you like this?”

“Hyung! Hyung! You know mushrooms grilled in meat fat are the tastiest, right?”

“Let’s balance the nutrients. Hey, a wrap. Eat some vegetables.”

“Everyone, buzz off.”

“Okay, Okay~, it’s okay to be grumpy today~.”

I had a sudden realization. Although it felt like I was carrying everything on my own, I relied on them in many ways. The choreography was always carefully crafted by Kim Seonghyeon and Jeong Dajun, the songs by Kang Ichae, and the team management by Seong Jiwon.

I was just prominent in the visible parts.

Even so, if they wanted me to ride comfortably on their efforts… it would be nice to take a break and blend in sometimes.

Geez, I’m making a big deal out of wanting to ride the bus.

I shrugged my shoulders and quietly ate my meal.

Kim Seonghyeon put another piece of meat in my rice bowl and snickered.

“Eat a lot, and I’m looking forward to the drama, PD Seo.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at that.

I never thought I’d hear Kim Seonghyeon call me PD Seo.

***

[Today is Hoyun’s first filming ㄷㄷㄷ I’m so nervous]

[Shit, I feel more nervous than preparing for my master’s thesis presentation. What should I do? What can I do? I’ll just go all-in on Seo Hoyun and abandon my thesis

└ Ah, fucking straightforward ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ]

The drama had already started filming three days before, but today was my first day on set.

As I walked down from the van, it seemed the previous scene had finished filming as the staff moved equipment around.

“Hello.”

“Seo Hoyun, hello!”

As I exchanged greetings with the staff, I looked around and saw that most of the other actors seemed to be wrapping up and leaving, as if the previous scene was the last one to be filmed that day.

At that moment, Yu Jia spotted me as she passed by and greeted me casually.

“Is today your first day of filming?”

“Hello, Yu Jia-sunbae.”

“I wanted to say you must be nervous… but…”

Yu Jia chuckled and then laughed.

“Seo Hoyun doesn’t seem like the type to get nervous. Good luck!”

I smiled awkwardly. Yu Jia was really quick on her feet.

Well, if I had to admit, I’m more worried about messing up than being nervous.

As I took in more of the set, I found my place at the table set for me, and the hairstylist promptly began working on my hair.

Unexpectedly, Min Jiheon, the person I’d resolved to put in his place this year and who had audaciously declared himself the guest of honor, made an abrupt entrance.

“Seo Hoyun!”

He was still formal in addressing me when we were on set. Min Jiheon leisurely looked around the set. For a guy who couldn’t distinguish between humans and ghosts, he had a rather clean gaze.

“It feels new seeing it from here~.”

“…Yes.”

I replied curtly, but Min Jiheon didn’t seem to want to have a conversation and just sat down on the chair beside me, slouching in it. After a while, a staff member approached and spoke to Min Jiheon.

“Min Jiheon.”

“…”

“Min Jiheon!”

“…Ah, sorry.”

Min Jiheon, having spaced out, responded a beat too late. As if used to this sort of thing, the staff simply gave an explanation, then walked away. Min Jiheon scratched his cheek and then slouched in his chair again. He looked like a lazy sloth, so I unconsciously spoke to him.

“…Do you always have trouble listening?”

“…Is that what you really want to say? I feel like you’re cursing at me with your eyes….”

“Let’s prevent excessive self-consciousness and regain a healthy life.

I wanted to show this kid that useless article on preventing narcissism. Min Jiheon smiled awkwardly.

“Well, it’s not that I have trouble listening….”

Min Jiheon cleared his throat several times, then tapped the chair’s armrest with his finger as he spoke.

“It’s just safer to ignore things a couple of times first.”

“…Why?”

Min Jiheon didn’t seem like the kind of guy who would bully someone, but I was curious and continued to ask. He murmured with a wistful gaze.

“Sometimes, I mean, very rarely, I have moments like that….”

“…”

“If I accidentally respond, they really chase after you all the way home. Having them hold a grudge or steal my body while I dream is just the beginning. Once, they almost really stole my body….”

The atmosphere got chilly. Not believing him, I just moved my mouth.

“…Is that true?”

“Yeah. Jiheon’s life is surprisingly tough too….”

Min Jiheon, with his slightly drooping eyes, looked genuinely troubled, so I decided to let him use the third person this time.

“But, hyung, sometimes you look like that too, you know?”

[1] The word “난제” (mystery) in the sentence rhymes with “강이채” (Kang Ichae).