The Trashy PD Has To Survive as an Idol

“Alright! Stop fooling around! Don’t doze off!”

[Ah, Jeong Dajun, the high schooler ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ]

[An exemplary case of the college entrance exam obsession]

The Noeul members found it adorable how Jeong Dajun, as if possessed, repeatedly used phrases like “umm” and “in other words“ in his online lecture teacher concept. Meanwhile, the older members grumbled in amazement with their hands stuffed in their pockets.

“Why the online lecture concept?”

“Leave him be. There’s no way Jeong Dajun knows about 1980s America. At most, he’s watched movies about it. Plus, he’s preparing for the college entrance exam these days.”

“Isn’t he just obsessed with imitating the online lecture teacher?”

Despite everyone’s grumbling, the youngest member, Jeong Dajun, stubbornly raised his glasses with his fingers and drew circles frantically on the words written on the blackboard. He had seen it somewhere.

“So today, let’s organize the breadcrumbs of our The Dawn members!”

“…”

“Because there must be people who want this!! …Maybe? …I believe they exist somewhere?”

“Who the hell is this for….”

Seo Hoyun was already exhausted from dealing with Min Jiheon. He looked even more worn out than usual, but Kang Ichae pretended to be absorbed in Jeong Dajun’s concept and wrote everything down with his head buried in his notebook.

“So what kind of people are The Dawn members??”

Jeong Dajun excitedly organized the members’ information on the blackboard as if wielding a whip.

[Kim Seonghyeon (23) Leader/Main Dancer: Cool dark-haired handsome guy with double eyelids, sharp nose bridge, thick eyebrows, and dimples.

Seo Hoyun (23) Sub-vocal: Pure-hearted, cold-looking, dark-haired handsome guy who seems sensitive and looks quite gentle when he smiles (but scary).

Seong Jiwon (23) Main Vocal: Soft, warm-looking, brown-haired handsome guy with a mole on the nose bridge.

Kang Ichae (21) Rapper: Sharp-eyed, thin-lipped handsome guy with a hair color of watered-down red (currently grapefruit color), who makes you want to pass by quickly when he’s angry.

Jeong Dajun (19) Sub-vocal/Dancer: No words needed, stunningly handsome.]

“…What is this?”

[ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋWhy would you write this, Dajun?

└I mean, you could just look and know]

[My cringing hands and feet are closing my eyes]

[But he looks like he just copied and pasted from the wiki (except his own)

└I’ll just write it down myself: bleached brown-haired puppy with thick lips and droopy eyes!!!]

Everyone opened their mouths in a daze, looking at the phrases written on the blackboard. Kang Ichae and Jeong Dajun exchanged glances and giggles, saying, “Look at the eyes” and “Yes!” Meanwhile, Seo Hoyun crossed his arms and leaned back on his chair, making a creaking noise.

“You write Chinese characters well?”

“Of course, I should be able to do this much!”

“Wow… You’re really studying hard these days.”

Even against his older members’ teasing, Jeong Dajun remained determined. Kim Seonghyeon then attacked Jeong Dajun.

“What’s with the ‘stunningly handsome’ part?”

“I’m just being confident, you know?”

Jeong Dajun tried to continue organizing their birthdays, but Seo Hoyun scolded him not to waste time on something searchable on the internet.

[Guys, just look at the wiki

└Let him be, Jeong Dajun is excited]

“Hmph.”

Jeong Dajun pouted with a snort, but he still seemed satisfied as he took a piece of paper from the lectern.

“Let’s first read the survey you filled out. Starting with Mr. Seo Hoyun.”

“…Yes.”

“‘I think I’m a kind person.’ You shamelessly chose ‘YES’ …. Where did you leave your conscience?”

“Why? It’s true, you know?”

Everyone jeered at him. Even the kind Seong Jiwon looked at Seo Hoyun with a subtle smile. Nevertheless, Seo Hoyun didn’t change his shameless answer. Jeong Dajun continued to read the rest of the survey.

“You chose Seong Jiwon as the person you think is the most handsome in The Dawn.”

“Ah? Really?”

Seong Jiwon shyly smiled.

[Wow]

[Wow, Seo Hoyun has pretty good taste, though]

“Eh?! Why didn’t you choose the cute main rapper?”

“What?”

Kang Ichae stood up with a face that said it didn’t make sense, but Seo Hoyun just raised his eyebrows as if it was no big deal and pointed to the back.

“Go look in the mirror with Seong Jiwon.”

[A CG of a skull appears next to Kang Ichae ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ]

[Ah, fuck, this guy still doesn’t hold back ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ]

“Wow, this hyung is really unbelievable.”

“Be quiet. Kang Ichae chose himself, didn’t he?”

Kang Ichae acted out wildly, but Jeong Dajun, who truly believed he was the most handsome, shamelessly muttered, “Isn’t he just the nicest person?” before reading the rest of the survey. Noeul members were very grateful to Dajun and devoured his breadcrumbs.

[Kim Seonghyeon’s legs are the body part he’s most proud of, fucking annoying, but it seems true, ah!!!]

[Jiwon hesitates… hesitates… and then confesses he hates Soruinun

└ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

└Seoho stands awkwardly beside him, saying I don’t drink much now either…]

[Kang Ichae exposed Jeong Dajun’s secret that he always fell asleep listening to online lectures at triple speed under the covers]

It was an absolute mess. Seeing the exhausted Kim Seonghyeon trying to stop the fighting among the members, who were not even like high schoolers but like K-teenagers, Lee Jihyeon sighed and gave orders.

Seeing that, Jeong Dajun quickly fixed his disheveled bleached hair and calmly said,

“Ugh… We now know each other well, right?”

“I just want to fight.”

Jeong Dajun ignored them.

“To understand each other more deeply… let’s switch roles!!”

And he threw a bomb.

[????]

As Noeul members were full of question marks, not understanding the meaning, a small data screen appeared in the video.

[Role Switching♡

Seo Hoyun → Seong Jiwon

Seong Jiwon → Kang Ichae

Kang Ichae → Seo Hoyun

Jeong Dajun → Kim Seonghyeon

Kim Seonghyeon → Jeong Dajun

You must act according to each other’s characters!

Caution! You have to hold in laughter, Noeul members try it too♡]

[???????]

[What is this, is it for real?]

[Are they saying each person acts as the other?

└Seems so?]

After a brief pause, the video darkened, and a low-resolution American campus appeared, stubbornly sticking to the 1980s concept despite having been messed up long ago.

Will You Go to Prom With Me? played as the BGM. The screen transitioned just like the fan song music video.

Ta-ta-ta.

A motorcycle appeared on the screen. It seemed like the usual Kang Ichae, but the camera slowly moved up after scanning his long legs.

[Huh, what’s this? Is it Kang Ichae?]

[Oh, it’s the same progression as the fan song]

And the man wearing a rider jacket took off his helmet.

“Sigh….”

It was Seong Jiwon.

Even though he acted like a bad boy, the neat Seong Jiwon swept his hair back and spoke very clearly.

“Cute main rapper enters.”

“Will you go to Prom with me? (Say Yes!)”

[ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ]

[I gave up on the laughter challenge right away]

[Ah, so it was like this, ah, I’m going crazy, don’t insert the Will You Go to Prom With Me? BGM at this highlight]

[I’m watching from outside and biting hard, Jiwonㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ]

As the Noeul fans were flipping out online, Seong Jiwon walked with the helmet at his side. In the hallway, Seo Hoyun, wearing a tidy school uniform, was taking a book from a locker.

Seong Jiwon, awkwardly creaking closer, slammed the cabinet with one hand.

Bam!

“Hi, Jiwon-hyung.”

“Ah, hello, Ichae.”

Despite Seong Jiwon’s lousy acting, Seo Hoyun adjusted well, staying true to his acting-dol reputation trained by Min Jiheon.

Watching Hoyun sweep his hair back with a soft smile, Seong Jiwon’s pupils trembled slightly.

“Ichae, have you practiced rapping a lot?”

“Want me to show you?”

“No, that’s fine. I don’t really want to hear it.”

“Okay. But when I’m in front of you, I. Want. To. Act. Irrationally.”

Even as Seong Jiwon stubbornly mimicked Kang Ichae’s rap part, Seo Hoyun simply looked at him with a subtle smile.

[Ah, how does Seo Hoyun hold back his laughter while facing this?]

[So shameless, Seong Jiwon, he’s perfect at copying the awkward smile and all that]

[Wow, he’s good at acting, I’m really looking forward to episode 1 of Please Take the Camera]

“I. Want. To. Hold. You. Tight. And. Pour. Out. Such. Words.”

As Noeul members choked with laughter, Seong Jiwon continued rapping as he walked away.

Still maintaining his poker face, Seo Hoyun carelessly put the book he had taken out earlier back when Kang Ichae appeared.

“Baby rabbit, HouHou, has arrived.”

“…”

Seo Hoyun’s expression almost crumbled for a moment.

Kang Ichae smirked and crossed his arms, leaning against the locker with Hoyun’s signature menacing smile.

However, Hoyun wasn’t going to let it slide.

“Hoyun, hi. Do you want to practice with Ichae, who got demoted in the game tier these days?”

“No. Seong Jiwon… I have a problem.”

“What is it?”

Catching a slightly anxious gaze from Hoyun, Ichae lowered his long eyelashes.

“I’m just too pretty, and it’s serious….”

[Ah]

[Ichae, are you going to die today?]

[ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋHoyun is so pissed]

“Hmph.”

“…Hoyun.”

Seo Hoyun was indeed pissed, as the others had said, but he clenched his teeth and responded. However, Kang Ichae didn’t stop and just raised his eyebrows, saying,

“Why. What. Why. Are you jealous because I’m so pretty?”

“…Hoyun wouldn’t talk like that.”

“What?”

“Hey, stop it. Kang Ichae, your imitation failed. I don’t treat Seong Jiwon like that, okay?”

Having given up imitating Seong Jiwon and leaving it all behind, Seo Hoyun gnawed his teeth, but Kang Ichae only raised one side of his lips.

The only problem was…

“What are you gonna do?”

…Kang Ichae knew Seo Hoyun far too well. Kang Ichae perfectly imitated Seo Hoyun without a care in the world.

A subtitle then appeared on the screen.

[Seo Hoyun Failed in Laugh-Enduring Challenge X Pissed-Enduring Challenge

Pissed Off Enduring Challenge Failed○]

[ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ]

While the broken rap-robot Seong Jiwon and pissed baby rabbit, HouHou, at a nonsensical challenge… Kang Ichae opened the classroom door and then swirled around his long legs. Jeong Dajun and Kim Seonghyeon, who were talking, came into view.

Jeong Dajun was nagging non-stop as the two were cleaning the classroom.

“Jeong Dajun, didn’t I tell you to take your vitamins earlier? Are you just eating snacks?”

“…”

Jeong Da Jun, in his own way, managed to defend himself by imitating Kim Seonghyeon, the tallest in the group, who was stretching his legs out and seemed to be quite at a loss.

It was because he wasn’t good at acting.

“Please just stop being so loud, Jeong Dajun.”

Kang Ichae, who had entered the classroom, looked at them without much expectation (still acting like Seo Hoyun). Kim Seonghyeon opened his mouth.

“…so loud.”

[ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋoh my god ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ]

[Is it called bouncing around just because Jeong Dajun is jumping around?? Hey, is this really an imitation??]

” Puwahaha…”

Seeing that, even Kang Ichae, who had been doing well at the imitation game, almost crumbled. He had to clench his teeth to hold it in. Meanwhile, Jeong Dajun squinted his eyes and sat down like Kim Seonghyeon.

“Dajun, let’s do it properly, okay?”

“…”

“Where’s your reply?”

“…Yes, hyungie-hyungie.”

“Puwahaha…”

[ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋHyungie-hyungie = Hyung-hyung?? ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ]

[Hey, just because you add an “ie” at the end doesn’t make you Jeong Dajun ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ][1]

[Kang Ichae, hey, you failed. Hey, just give up.]

“I want to quit… Puwahaha….”

[Kang Ichae failed the hold-your-laugh challenge!!]

Kang Ichae seemed like the one most likely to survive until the end but was unexpectedly beaten quickly. Even as Kang Ichae gave up, sobbing half-heartedly white on his desk, Jeong Dajun continued to nag at Kim Seonghyeon with determination.

Kim Seonghyeon only responded with a disgruntled “Yes, yes” or “Got it, sir.”

Finally, all the members of The Dawn gathered—

“I. Want. To. Look. Good. To. You.”

“Kang Ichae, come at me right now.”

“Ack! Sorry! Ahh!”

“Bounce, bounce….”

—and it was a pure mess.

[Jeong Dajun held back his laughter while watching Kim Seonghyeon imitate him but crumbled when he saw Seong Jiwon coming while rapping

└Can’t be helped, how could you hold back after seeing Seong Jiwon’s staccato, Seo Hoyun is amazing.]

[Seo Hoyun eventually grabbed Kang Ichae’s collar

└Kang Ichae, in the midst of it all, “I got it, don’t be mad, I’ll give you a carrot” ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

└If I were Seo Hoyun, I’d hit him tooㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ]

And so, the winner of the laughter suppression challenge… was Kim Seonghyeon, who had been just mumbling “Bounce, bounce” all along.

“…Thank you.”

“What’s this for?”

Kim Seonghyeon murmured desolately, not at all happy even after receiving a fake gold-plated necklace.

“…So, who is this for?”

Anyway, the response from the fans was good, so what’s the big deal…

Seo Hoyun thought for the first time that day that he wanted to leave the members behind and quickly return to the drama set.

[1] This was really hard to translate in its original form, so I went for something close, “-ie.” Kim Seonghyeon initially said, “…넹 횽횽.” The word “형” means “hyung.” The change from “형” to “횽” involves changing the final “-ㅇ” (ng) sound to “-ㅎ” (h), which gives it a more playful, cutesy tone. This kind of change is often used in Korean to make words sound more playful or cute.