The Simulacrum

Dramatic entrances are more of an art than a science, I'd say. If you asked a moviegoer, they would probably say they needed a panning shot with trailer music, followed by a snappy one-liner. For the more anime-inclined, a good entrance was all about the timing, with the star appearing just in the nick of time to turn things around, usually with the opening theme of the show blaring in the background. However, for a wrestling fan, they would probably say a good entrance required a catchy theme song and lots of flashy stage lighting. Also, folding chairs for heels.

Now, while hitting Roland over the head with a folding chair was certainly very tempting, I sadly couldn't play things that way, and not because I didn't have any space-efficient sitting apparatuses at hand. If I wanted to dedicate myself to the bit, I had folding chairs for days. Unfortunately, as much fun as that sounded, this wasn't the time. Not because Bel of the Abyss wouldn't do something like that, but because today was the day he was revealed to the wider public, so I needed to set a certain standard.

After all, I was about to attempt elevating my chaotic alter ego into the position of... well, maybe not the main antagonist, but something of a greater scope villain? In any case, I was about to manually insert a character into the narrative and hijack whatever it originally planned to annoy me with, so I had to be very, very particular about the details.

With Leonard Dunning's alibi firmly secured, and all the most problematic opponents absent from the scene, it was time for Bel to show up and cement his presence as a villainous mastermind, pulling the strings from the background while also being a formidable threat. For that, I needed to have opposition strong enough to make Bel feel larger-than-life, yet not strong enough where he would appear struggling, because that would undermine the reputation I was building for him. However, since this was supposed to be our Knights' big show, I couldn't trump them too easily either, or it would undermine their authority as peacekeepers in the future.

What I'm trying to say is that this was a giant balancing act that required quick thinking, situational awareness, and lots of on-the-spot improvs. As cruel it may sound, my friends and allies weren't exactly cut out for a job like this, so I had to do the lion's share of the work myself. This, of course, meant that I had no backup in case something went off the rails, but at this point, I was used to it.

That didn't mean I didn't have my heart beating in my throat as I appeared in the amphitheatre, but I didn't mind it much. Adrenaline was good. It kept me on my toes.

With the assistance of Penny and co., the disorganized coup was put down in record time, and while the place still felt volatile, most of the people present were focusing their attention on Roland, still standing in the middle of the arena with his weapon held high. Exploiting the lingering chaos, I rapidly Phased across the elevated seats and made my way over to the VIP box.

I had no theme song, but since the place already had a sound system installed, I figured it would've been a crime to ignore it. Taking just a second to find the glowing doohickey by the grand elder's original seat, I used a phantom limb to turn it on, and after properly preparing myself, I raised my hands and firmly clapped them.

It startled everyone, as planned, and since the sound was omnidirectional, I managed to get six measured slow claps done by the time they finally pinpointed my location.

"Bravo! A lovely show!" I exclaimed, and my playful Bel-voice echoed across the building. "I would ask for an encore, but I'm afraid neither of us has the time for that."

"No, we don't," Roland responded loud enough so that I could hear it even up where I was standing, and he menacingly slashed the air in front of him for emphasis.

I waited for a couple of seconds, just long enough to gather more attention, before casually Phasing over to the Knightly Quartet on the white sand. That earned me a couple of startled gasps, telling me I was on the right track.

"I'm curious; what gave me away?" I asked in a tone you would use to address an old friend.

"I have to admit, it was mostly conjecture on my end," Roland answered as he turned to me and raised his sword to a guard point. Duncan and Arnwald followed his example as well, while Penny wordlessly stepped behind them, still working on her Purple Zone breaker. I waited for them to get into position, and only then did I gesture for him to continue. "Our King told us to expect a skirmish during today's tournament. While his methods for learning secrets are inscrutable, he had yet to be proven wrong, so it made me think about who would dare to cause an incident where all of the elites of the Draconian families are gathered. Then I remembered that the Ascalon put up for auction yesterday was stolen from its vault without leaving a single trace behind. Since you are the only person I know who could do something like this, it told me you are operating on the island once again, and since you are also the only one I could imagine confidently showing your face after making an enemy of everyone in this arena, it became easy to connect the dots."

"Really? And what if I wasn't watching? Or just didn't care about your provocation?" I asked with my most gleeful voice, as if I had the time of my life.

"In that case, I would've simply looked a little foolish for a moment, not losing anything," he answered with a shrug. "On the other hand, it had a small chance to draw you into the open, so I took the gamble."

"Ah, you see, Sir Roland? This is why you're my favorite! I mean, no offense to Dame Unicorn in the back, but wisdom beats beauty every time."

Before Penny could respond, if she even wanted to in the first place, a new voice entered the fray.

"Who is this!? What's going on!?"

It took me a moment or two to recognize the one yelling, considering he was already in his draconic form. He had a pair of huge, ridged black horns on his head, pointy black scales around his jawline, clawed fingers, and his suit was torn at the elbows and knees, where he had spikes growing out of his skin, completing the nasty black dragon look. Because of all that, things only clicked when someone I already recognized leaped over from the seats and landed beside him.

"Brother, stay back," Dobry Smok, whose transformation was much less over-the-top than his younger brother's, said and put a hand on his shoulder. This meant that, by process of elimination, the spiky guy had to be Dupek Smok.

"He's called Bel of the Abyss," Arnwald commented without taking his eyes off me.

"Hey! Introducing me before I could do it myself is rude!" I complained with an overplayed huff.

In the meantime, our Mr. Eagle's answer only made the younger Smok brother madder.

"That doesn't tell anything to me! Any who are you people, anyway!?"

Now that things calmed down a bit, many of the onlookers seemed to have the same question on their minds, so the oldest Knight curtly explained, "We are the Ordo Draconis. We are sent by our King to quell the fighting and apprehend the culprit behind today's events."

"Also known as Sir Griffon, Sir Eagle, Sir Minotaur, and Dame Unicorn," I quipped, then a beat later I added, "What? You introduced me, so I introduce you. It's only fair."

"It's the Accursed Knights!?" someone exclaimed in the back, and all of a sudden all the confused stares directed at us turned hostile.

"What kind of ploy is this?!" Dupek exclaimed and threw off his brother's hand. "I swear on my name, you won't leave this place alive!"

He let out a deep, animalistic roar that shook the whole building, and I couldn't help but marvel at just how helpful this guy was. First, he helped me establish myself at the banquet, and now he came here just to do the same all over again. How considerate.

Anyhow, once he finished roaring, it looked like he was just about to lunge at the four, so I took the beautiful opportunity he presented to me on a silver platter and Phased over to his side with one hand already raised to his face level. Before he could even react, I reached forward, and my glove flashed with a blinding ethereal light. Pushing on, I grabbed hold of his face and, with an impact that rattled me to my core and numbed my arm, I smashed the guy's head into the arena's sand with one smooth motion. The sound he made upon hitting the ground was a little disturbing, but he was a Draconian, and a fully transformed one to boot, so I wasn't too worried about his well-being.

From the outside, it probably looked like I simply slapped the guy into submission, but as with all good scenes, a lot more went into the performance on a technical level than what the audience was privy to. For example, while my Bel Gear 3.1.2 had some last-minute integrated physical enchantments borrowed from the Uniformers, they were hardly powerful enough to allow me to smack around a transformed Draconian. The trick was, obviously, in the gloves.

They were something I developed with the help of Fred, and they were, in essence, a limited-use item. They incorporated the anti-grappling blast array from the Magiformers, combined with a couple of secondary enchantments lifted from the Knight armors, and to tie them all together, I used the anti-draconic array Fred reverse-engineered during our clandestine work on the counterfeit dragon-slaying spear. Put all of that together, and now I had an offensive enchantment that, when activated, delivered a focused kinetic blast that Draconians were especially susceptible to.

The one that sent the younger Smok brother to the ground was the lowest setting. At that level, I could deliver three more blows before the whole enchantment would break down. I used the lowest output because I never had the opportunity to test it out on a Draconian before, and I didn't want to take anyone's head off. Good riddance, as even this much hurt my hand like I just slapped an anvil.

On the other hand, the guy on the ground probably felt like he was hit by one, as he appeared to be completely out cold. That was way more effective than expected, but I couldn't let the surprise show in my voice, so I adopted a sterner attitude and tugged at the glove that delivered the KO.

"Quiet down, child. The adults are talking." Dupek naturally didn't respond, since he was still unconscious, so I directed a meaningful glance at the older brother, seemingly frozen in place due to the sudden development. "So, are you going to follow his example, ooor…?"

My question finally shook him from his stupor, and after glancing at me and his brother on the ground in turn, he unceremoniously yanked the limp body up and over his shoulder before frantically dashing away from our group in the center.

"Heh. I like that guy," I said as I turned back to Roland, one finger pointed at the retreating pair. "He has a good head on his shoulders. Almost doesn't make me want to detach them from each other, if you know what I mean."

Our Mr. Griffon didn't respond to me but instead addressed the suddenly quiet onlookers.

"Our identities can be discussed later! For now, know that we are here to help!"

"It was our liege's command," Arnwald added and pointed at the Dracis couple idling in the back, as previously agreed upon. "Even if you do not trust us, know that his family will guarantee our allegiance."

Papa Dracis blinked in an expression that screamed 'We do!?', but then Emese bumped him with her shoulder, and he hurriedly cleared his throat.

"Yes! The… um… it was 'Ordo Draconis', I think? They are definitely here to help! I can vouch for that!"

Restraining the urge to nod in approval, I turned to Roland again, and when our eyes met, he raised his sword to the guard position again.

In the back, I could hear Mr. Minotaur whisper, "'Main 'en, Penny-gurl! Jist hoo much loonger is thes gonnae tak'?", with my sister hissing back a frustrated, "I told you, this isn't easy!"

Ignoring the whispers, Roland raised his voice again and declared, "Let us put our past differences aside for the moment, and focus on the common foe before us!"

"Yeah, we all should do that! Down with that common foe guy!" I agreed wholeheartedly, then paused a beat later and snapped my fingers. "Ah, wait. You were talking about me, weren't you?"

He didn't respond, so after shaking my head, I Phased behind the group and proceeded with my usual pacing routine.

"Now, now, my good Sir Roland. I'm not your enemy. If I was, we wouldn't be talking like this. Mainly because you would be dead, along with everyone else here."

"You are still responsible for today's conflict," Arnwald noted with an arrow nocked on his bowstring. "That makes you our foe."

"{Chief, I have an update.}"

"A moment," I whispered before theatrically grabbing my chest. "Sir Eagle! How could you jump to conclusions like this? You are hurting my poor maidenly heart!" This time, I Phased over to one of the Feilong elders and loudly whispered, "Can you believe that guy? So rude, am I right?"

The high-strung man blinked in surprise, but then let out a yelp and threw a punch at me, seemingly by reflex, but by that time I was already strolling on top of the wall surrounding the arena, far enough where I could respond to Judy without anyone hearing it.

"Go on."

"{Morgana and Agrawain have successfully captured grand elder Xinji. Xiao shifted focus from Elly to trying to rescue him. Josh is still fighting Zihao, while Elly is trying to break them up. Pascal and Amelia found one of the anchors of the Restricted Space and are working on breaking it from the inside, and Penelope asked me to help coordinate their effort.}"

"In other words, things are still off the rails," I whispered, just a tad exasperated. "Notify me when it looks like the Purple Zone is about to go down."

"{Roger.}"

I took five more meandering steps after the line was cut, then theatrically turned on my heels and bent forward, looking down on the people clustered in the middle of the arena.

"If you think this is my doing, I'm afraid you're sorely mistaken. Let me correct that for you. I, your friendly neighborhood Bel of the Abyss, did not cause this cute little brawl of yours. I have no vested interest in the politics of the thin-blooded descendants of my old friends, nor in your little medieval re-enactor society… though on second look…"

At this stage, I Phased right up to Duncan and poked him in the chest. Mirroring the elder from before, he froze up for a moment before he raised his axe to strike me, but by then I was already inspecting Roland's outfit from the side. Contrary to the big guy, he only shifted his posture to face me, his sword still in the guard position, and after touching my chin and nodding to myself, I promptly phased a couple of steps back again.

"Are you perchance trying to move with the times? I say, it was about time. Those metal plates were getting awfully quaint."

"Thank you for the compliment. Now, would you mind finishing your previous thought?" Roland responded politely, and I could tell he was stalling for time, probably waiting for Penny to finish dispelling the Purple Zone holding the rest of the group. I was more or less doing the same, so I graciously obliged.

"As I was saying, I'm here for my own reasons, mostly disconnected from your little internal conflict here. Why, if you didn't call for me, I probably wouldn't have even shown my face."

"Ye dornt shaw yer coopon. Ye wear a mask. Bampot."

"Sir Duncan, could you please not be so literal? You are quite distracting." I clicked my tongue and glanced at Mr. Griffon again. "So, as I said, I wouldn't have even shown my mask normally, as my dispute only involves a certain grand elder. You know? Old, has a funky mustache, speaks in ice-cream koans, kinda irritating? Anyhow, he happened to interfere with my plans, so I figured it was only fair that I did the same."

"Are you saying that the grand elder was responsible for the rebellion? Preposterous!" one of the Feilongs scoffed at me. Was it the same elder I bothered a minute ago? It was hard to tell, they all kind of looked the same.

I had a nice retort on the tip of my tongue, but Judy's voice cut me off right at this moment.

"{Update: Amelia says the Restricted Zone should be dispelled any second now.}"

After an appreciative grunt, I did a split-second Far Glance to see where the old man was in relation to the building, and once I found the spot, I Phased over and loudly cleared my throat.

"Well, if you don't believe me, why don't we ask the man in question?" Spreading my arms, I waited for something to happen. Except, it didn't, so I cleared my throat again and repeated, with extra emphasis, "I said, why don't we ask the—"

At last, the whole building and everyone in it flashed in negative colors, and with a quiet popping noise, the grand elder appeared in front of me, lying on his side and barely conscious.

"Oh, there he is!" I exclaimed, but nobody seemed to care, as the whole arena was filled with startled yelps as the contestants also appeared, seemingly out of thin air, and pushed the already present people out of the way. Confused by the development, most of them stopped fighting, though the same could not be said about Josh and Zihao.

The two of them, seemingly falling out of the sky as the Purple Zone popped, landed with the grace of a pair of tunas, and while they were both worn-down and bruised, they were still full of vigor.

"What happened?" the spiky-haired younger Feilong brother called out, jumping to his feet in the process, but I ignored him and drew the attention of the confused crowd by clapping my hands. While I no longer had the benefit of the sound amplification from before, I still managed to get back into the center of attention, especially when our Knightly Quartet rushed in to push everyone back, forming a circle around me and the old man on the floor.

Using the chaos, Morgana and Raven Boy also managed to break away from whatever engagement they were embroiled in and formed up behind me, along with most of their squires.

"Morgana? What are you doing?"

Arnwald sounded genuinely shocked, but before Miss Gorgon could answer, I raised a hand to forestall her.

"As much as I loathe to interrupt a dramatic reunion, I'm afraid we must postpone it for later. Let's just say that these two are currently under my command, and leave it at that. So, as I was saying—"

"You! So you are the mastermind behind all this!"

This time it was my turn to blink in surprise, and I turned to the source of the yell, where I found Zihao, already joined by odango-girl, staring daggers at me.

"I—"

"He is Bel of the Abyss, and he's—" Penny interrupted me, only to be interrupted in turn.

"I don't care who he is! Let's just beat him up, and sort things out later!" Zihao continued to yell and took up a fighting stance.

"Wait! Listen to us!" my sister tried to hold him back, but he threw her off, and with a burst of speed, he lunged at me, his hair shining with a bright orange light, like he was on fire.

"What is it with you guys offering yourself on a silver platter today?" I half mused and half grumbled as my danger sense warned me of not particularly serious threat. My eyes kind of said otherwise, as the guy accelerated even further and was about to hit me with a palm-strike that had all kinds of fancy light effects, including tiny-miny transparent Asian dragons flying around his hand.

It surely had some kind of grandiose name, with all kinds of references to coiling dragons and arhats and flattening mountains and whatnot, but as far as I was concerned, it was just a very obviously telegraphed attack that I could probably dodge even without my sixth sense warning me. So, without standing on ceremony, I simply stepped to the left, and when the still furious guy passed by me, I casually raised a hand and smacked him across the face.

This time I was using the medium setting, which meant my whole arm felt like it was about to jump out of its socket, but I gritted my teeth and endured the flash of pain. In retrospect, the low setting would've been probably enough, but I still owed a guy a punch for insulting Judy, so I figured it was fair.

However, if the impact was painful on my end, it must've been quite something else on the receiving one, as Zihao's rush didn't just stop on its tracks, but he straight up flew off at a ninety-degree angle like he was hit by a truck, and didn't stop until he very nearly broke through the wall surrounding the field.

"B-Brother Zihao!" Xiao exclaimed in horror and dashed over to his side, and while the guy was rattled, he was still conscious.

"Children of this generation are really rude, aren't they?" I said aloud and straightened my lapels, and that, for some reason, made the guy spit out a mouthful of blood and finally lose consciousness. Wow. Was the clichéd or what? Anyhow, I dramatically dusted my sleeves and slowly looked around the crowd surrounding me. "So, for the record, does anyone else want to follow his example? Come on, don't be shy. Get it out of your system now."

Everyone remained silent for the moment, so I shrugged my shoulders and gestured for Raven Boy.

"Prop him up, will you?"

He looked at me funny, but when I repeatedly pointed at the old man at my feet, he finally got the message, grabbed the grand elder by the collar, and lifted him up so that he was standing again. On closer look, he had a swollen black eye, and his hands were cuffed with thick metal chains. I kind of wondered where the heck Morgana even got those, but I had more important things to worry about, so I patted Raven Boy on the shoulder before turning to the crowd.

"Nobody wants to play? Okay then, in that case, let's resolve this awful, awful misunderstanding about my character, and listen to this poor old chap's story, shall we?"

"… Very well," Roland finally relented and lowered his blade, though he was obviously still on guard.

"{Chief? Roland and Arnwald are planning to distract Bel while they slowly evacuate the injured. Are you okay with that?}"

"Perfect!" I exclaimed with my arms open wide, then whispered, "Bishop moves to c4."

"{… I still don't get it.}"

Shaking my head slightly, I disregarded my dear assistant's objection and mentally prepared myself for the third act of our little stage play. So far, a few small unexpected developments notwithstanding, things were proceeding fairly smoothly. Being a pessimist, I knew it was only a matter of time before things go pear-shaped, but I could take solace in the fact that I at least wasn't going to be surprised by it. It was one of the main perks, really.

Grand elder Xinji definitely had seen better days. With his eye swollen, clothes ripped, and his fancy top knot undone, he was in quite a story state. It was marginally surprising, as our designated bad guy for our theoretical arc, I expected a bit more from him. But then again, he was ganged up on by two Knights at the same time, so maybe it shouldn't have been 'that' unexpected. It's easy to forget, but the Knights in prime were supposed to be serious bad news, so in retrospect, losing to two of them was probably a foregone conclusion. On the bright side, he didn't look too badly injured, so I figured he should still be capable of fulfilling his role in our play.

The old man was dazed even after Raven Boy dragged him onto his feet, but his one visible eye cleared up the instant he laid it upon me.

"You! You're responsible for all this!" he bellowed in a shaky voice, and in return, I shook my index finger in front of his face.

"Au cotraire, Xinji, dearest of all my distant acquaintances. You have brought this all upon yourself. Or at least most of it. Two-thirds, at the very least, I think." A beat later, I snapped my fingers, still in front of his face, and melodramatically twirled one hundred and eighty degrees on my heel. "Why don't we all figure out the exact percentage together?"

"Preposterous!" the old man yelled and strained against Raven Boy, but didn't have enough strength to break free. "Vile fiend! Devil!"

On a whim, I raised my finger again to stop the proceedings, then reached into my breast pocket and pretended to take out an invisible phone. After miming for a few seconds, I raised my hand to my ear.

"Hello? Hm? Oh, hi Mister Kettle! How are you doing? Oh, you want me to relay a message? Sure!" I paused here and hummed to myself, pretending to be listening, then let my hand down and looked the grand elder in the eye. "Hey, Mister Pot? Mister Kettle says that you are a dipshit of monumental proportions, that you are an abject failure on every conceivable level, and that you should check the mirror every once in a while." I paused again, then nonchalantly added, "I think it's good advice. You have something black and purple and swollen on your face around here. You should really pay more attention to your appearance before appearing in public like that."

"Weren't we about to discuss how this is all this man's fault? Shouldn't we get on with it?" Raven Boy commented on the side while reaffirming his grip on the struggling man, and I sent him an appropriately scathing glance.

"Don't you dare tell me what to do, boy! I do whatever I want, whenever I want!" After a moment of consideration, I Phased into the midst of the idling, confused contestants, and shook my head. "It's so hard to find good slaves nowadays, am I right? Hey, are any of you interested in a job opportunity? I offer a full dental plan and lots of warm hay when you sleep on the floor, and you only have to dedicate your bodies, lives, and eternal souls to me. It's a bargain, I tell you!"

While I was speaking, the crowd around me jumped back, forming a cautious circle.

"Nobody? Really?" I shrugged and Phased back to the old man's side. "Well, it's their loss, right? So, we wanted to discuss how this is all your fault, right? Let's get on with it!"

I could see Raven Boy fuming on the side, but I didn't care, and instead I patted the grand elder on the shoulder.

"Of course, if you would be so kind and hand me over my box, I could be persuaded to drop this line of inquiry and simply leave. Who knows? Maybe you could even salvage this whole conspiracy faux pa of yours. So, what will it be? Are you going to take the easy way?"

The disheveled old man stared daggers at me, and at last, he hissed, "I have no idea what you're talking about! There was no such item sent in for auction."

I held the tension for a while longer, then melodramatically sighed.

"The hard way it is. Why do they never take the easy one? It's mind-boggling..."

"What is this item you speak of?" Roland interjected.

"Oh, nothing you should worry your smart little head over, I assure you," I answered with a laid-back voice. "It was only an old relic of mine that took quite some effort to track down, yet just as it was handed over to this clown over here, it disappeared as if it fell off the face of this planet."

"Ye caused aw thes chaos an' destruction... fur a box?" Mr. Minotaur blurted out, and I clapped my hands in delight. Leading this conversation by the nose was quite fun.

"It was a very precious box, my dear Sir Duncan," I corrected him with my best middle school English teacher impression. "Very old. Has lots of sentimental value. Also may or may not contain nearly unlimited semi-phenomenal cosmic powers." I waited for a beat to let that sink in, then abruptly Phased behind the big guy and firmly poked him between the scapulas. He jumped like my finger was red-hot iron, but by the time he turned around to swing his axe, I was already a couple of meters to the left, pacing. "More importantly, I already told you I didn’t cause anything. This is our beloved not-so-grand elder’s little sandcastle. I just decided to come by and knock down a few of the towers."

"So you are implying that the grand elder planned the coup?" Roland cut in, trying to keep the conversation on track and my attention occupied. That said, I was under the impression he was trying to keep me monologuing so that the Squires could evacuate the injured, yet I didn’t see any movement in the back. Maybe they were plotting something else? I really hoped so.

Anyhow, I promptly Phased back to the old man’s side and clapped with a delighted, "Precisely!"

"And he’s also responsible for the Restricted Zone erected on the combat field," he continued in a more skeptical tone.

"You hit the nail on the head again!"

"What about Brother Agraiwain and Sister Morgana then?" Arnwald spoke up next, sounding decidedly impatient.

"I’m… only taking thirty percent responsibility for that. Closer to twenty-five, really." I sent a glance at the grand elder, and after meeting his eyes for a few seconds, I exhaled a melodramatic scoff. "What’s that look for? You were the one who conspired with these two, and I just mildly hijacked your original plan! I refuse to take more than twenty percent responsibility for this, you hear me? Take it or leave it."

His eyes were giving me a classic ‘What the hell are you even talking about? I didn’t say anything!’ kind of look, but before he could voice the sentiment, Arnwald beat him to the punch.

"What do you mean by ‘hijacking’?" For further emphasis, he repeatedly pulled on his bowstring, though he didn’t take aim at me. Maybe it was a nervous tic? Anyhow, since I didn’t respond right away, he let out a low growl and asked, "What have you done to Sister Morgana?"

"And Agrawain!" Penny added from the back, barely taking the time to look up from her artifact. I was wondering what she was still doing with it, but I couldn’t ask Judy at the moment.

"Yes, him too!" the oldest Knight hastily amended, and I couldn’t help but chuckle.

"Hey, Sir Raven? How does it feel to be reduced to an afterthought?"

"Still better than listening to you," Raven Boy grumbled, and this time I laughed out loud. As much as I disliked the guy, I had to admit he was doing an amazing job when it came to playing the role of a disgruntled minion being forced to follow the orders of someone he absolutely hated, even against his will. He was a true method actor.

"I don’t think it’s strictly relevant to the original conversation, but in case you’re that curious, let me quickly exclaim!"

I clapped twice, for no other reason than showmanship. It still made everyone tense up, like they were expecting a spotlight would beam down on me from the sky or something. Note to self: figure out how to achieve that effect with an enchantment, as it sounded fun.

But back to the stage at hand: I once again began pacing while gesturing with my hands. After all, as the villain, it was my sworn duty to monologue.

"You see, my dear little cavaliers, I was busy minding my own business, when I noticed that this here old man of questionable wisdom was conspiring with these here knights in sour armor. Since it looked interesting, I decided to pay them a visit, but in the end, it turned out the whole ordeal was an awfully droll affair. I would’ve probably never bothered with these three, if not for the sudden and inexplicable sublimation of my property. Since I didn’t have the time to visit every single person on the guest list, I decided to visit Dame Gorgon and, since I knew they were going to make an appearance here anyway, I figured I might as well mix business with pleasure and have them nicely ask for my property. After all, even if they failed, I wouldn't lose anything, and at the very least it would be at least entertaining to watch."

"He caused all this havoc just for his entertainment?" a voice whispered in the back, coming from one of the filler contestants, but since everyone was listening to me with bated breaths, I could still hear them.

"No, of course not! I mean, these two were going to show up here anyway, I only asked them to do me an itty-bitty little favor while they’re at it. Not to mention, if I was doing this for fun, I would've brought popcorn. I don’t have any popcorn, therefore this wasn’t done for fun. You see? Logic agrees with me, right, Dame Gorgon."

"Yes, it makes perfect sense."

"No, it doesn’t!" Raven Boy hissed, but she didn’t respond.

"As for the rest of this frankly amusing situation, why don’t we ask my boy Xinji? I’m sure he’s just bursting at the seams to finally explain how he set this whole thing up, right?"

"That’s right!" the old man yelled the moment I gave him the opportunity.

"You see, he’s… excuse me, could you repeat that?"

"I said, I will tell you all exactly what happened! This, I swear on my name of Feilong Qiancang Xinji!" he exclaimed, standing tall and almost managing to throw Raven Boy’s hand off.

That… was really unexpected.

"Please, do tell! The suspense is killing me," I said with open arms, genuinely curious about how he was going to try and wriggle out of this situation.

"It is true, that I have made contact with these two." He roughly gestured in the direction of the two Knights beside us, then continued with, "However, I did it all for the clan! As the grand elder of the clan and the most senior member of the family, it is my duty to guard it against threats in the shadows! The wild dog on the road is better than the tiger hidden in the shrubs."

There was a beat of silence, but then Roland whispered, "It probably means something along the lines of ‘the devil you know’."

Arnwald let out a sharp breath in response, so I figured he might’ve asked what the old man meant. Judy was probably involved in the conversation too. Anyhow, the grand elder didn’t wait for them and continued his explanation.

"I had known for a long time that the Luu and Rồng families were conspiring in secret, bidding their time while waiting for the opportunity to betray the clan and undermine the union generations of clan heads had worked hard to establish!"

"What?" one of the contestants in the back blurted out, half in surprise and half in outrage, but the grand elder only scoffed at him.

"Face it, junior; your house is a den of serpents, whether you want to admit it or not!"

"Okay, I'm getting a little lost here," I whispered under my breath, and my dear assistant came to the rescue at once.

"{They are smaller clans working under the Feilongs. One is the leader of the Mongolian families, while the other is the last remaining Draconian family in Vietnam.}"

"Oh. Neat."

Meanwhile, the old man continued his speech without paying any attention to my mumbling.

"They are like snakes hiding between the reeds; a cowardly lot too afraid to face the tiger, yet too treacherous not to bite its flank once it turns away."

I had absolutely no idea about any of this, but based on the number of Eastern Draconians nodding in the background, it apparently made perfect sense to them.

"They were a danger to the clan I could not overlook, yet our clan head refused to take action against them until they would show their true colors. For this reason, I have spent a decade bolstering their confidence and making them careless enough to show their fangs in the open, only to then strike them down and make an example out of them!

Over the years, I made them believe that I was ready to betray the clan head and usurp his position and that by helping me, they would gain their independence. I spent years of my life on this scheme, prepared the perfect stage, and even tricked our ancestral enemies into playing a part in ensuring the jaws of the trap would snap firm and true… any then you destroyed everything!"

"… Oh, excuse me? Were you talking to me?" I commented half-heartedly, and even pantomimed a yawn. "Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. What did I miss?"

"{Grand elder Xinji explained that he tricked the seditious clans into taking action.}"

"I've heard that, I was just being… Ah, never mind," I muttered in a voice I thought was inaudible, but seeing that it still turned a couple of heads, I forcefully cleared my throat and exclaimed, "Nah, I'm kidding! Of course, I paid attention to how you entered a magical world through a wardrobe, killed the Jabberwocky, and then sailed to the West with the rest of the elves. It was all very epic and meaningful." The old man only continued to stare daggers at me, so I shrugged and added, "So, are we getting to the point where you tell me why you took my box and where you hid it?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"With all due respect, mister… er… Bel, I believe?"

Surprised, I glanced to the side where my eyes crossed with those of a middle-aged Asian woman. She was short and fairly lean, with a tidy bob-cut, and she the way she was grasping her hands in front of her chest told me she was quite nervous. She was also mildly familiar, but I only recognized her when she introduced herself.

"I was the one responsible for organizing yesterday's auction, and I can assure you, I have not seen any articles that match your description." Instead of answering, I only tilted my head to the side, at which point she hastily sputtered, "B-But, of course, that doesn't mean the item was not delivered to us. It is entirely possible it was lost during the administrative process, and it's still in the vault!"

"So?"

"So… um… If you so wish, I could let you into our vault and you can see it for yourself that we are not in possession of your item."

"You can't do that!" the grand elder suddenly bellowed. "We cannot allow this vile fiend into our abode!"

It seemed like the woman was about to object, but I cut their argument short with an annoyed scoff.

"No need. I already looked around the place, and there was nothing interesting there. Well, except for one thing."

At this point, I gestured at Raven Boy, and while his reaction time was abysmal, he still grudgingly reached to his side and, with a flash of colorless light, he procured a spear from his magic bag. It was easy to tell who could recognize it, as those people inhaled sharply the moment it came into view, with our Knights looking the least startled out of all of them. After a beat, Raven boy unceremoniously threw it towards me, and I once again put my weapon-catching training to good use by grabbing it out of the air and theatrically twirling it over my head before holding it out for everyone to take a closer look.

"You see, I was under the impression that this was a one-of-a-kind collector's item. Imagine how utterly devastated I was when I realized there is more than one copy in circulation! I was almost as disappointed as when I realized that the limited edition White Lotus card I permanently borrowed by a famous collector was, in fact, a reprint!"

"I don't get it. What is that?" one of the younger Draconians in the back asked, and Roland, oddly silent until now, took the opportunity to take center stage again.

"It is Ascalon, the first and most famous dragon-slaying weapon of the Brotherhood of the Most Heroic Bloodlines," he stated solemnly, only to then smirk and add, "Or rather, a near-perfect replica of it."

"A fake, you say?" I asked, pretending to be alarmed. "Is it really? That would be even worse. Like, bootleg pocket monster card worse! Who would even do something like that? That's just evil!"

"{Chief? The Knights are ready to start the mass evacuation. They are only waiting for the right opportunity to start.}"

To my ears, that sounded like 'Please give them the opportunity now', and so I did.

"Ah, but are you sure this is a fake, Sir Roland?" I abruptly asked as I pointed the spear-tip at the still restrained grand elder, and his face immediately slacked with shocked realization. "I think we have a very easy way to test this."

"No!" Xiao yelled on the side as I slowly inched towards her grandfather.

"Oh, don't be so melodramatic, tiny one. If it's really fake, then it's just going to be a tiny little stab through the heart. He's barely even going to feel it. And if it's not, then—"

"Ooooh!"

Before I could finish my sentence, I was interrupted by a loud roar that sounded kind of like a jet-engine, except to my shock and confusion, it was coming from the mouth of odango girl. Not only that, her whole body was shining with magic so much it hurt my eyes to look at her, and she was getting brighter by the second.

"No, Xiao! You can't do this! You must not!" the old man at the tip of my spear roared with an expression a hundred times more urgent than when he was staring at the spear-point of Ascalon.

"Operation go! Go, go, go!" Roland yelled in turn, with two fingers pressed against his left ear.

"What is even—?"

"You can't control it! Stop!" the grand elder's voice drowned out even my thoughts, and he frantically yelled and flailed, trying to get out of Raven Boy's hold. "Somebody, anybody! You must stop her! She's not old enough yet to—"

Then, the old man suddenly disappeared. As in, into thin air, right in the middle of a sentence. He wasn't the only one either, as a good ninety percent of the people still in the aphitheatre also vanished, leaving only our four Knights, and a roaring odango girl on their side, while our side still had all of our numbers.

After the first surprise, I quickly Far Glanced at the grand elder, and found him inside a purple zone covering the entire underground complex. He was frantic, yelling about true dragon blood and demanding to return, but he was already restrained by Sahi's hands. She was accompanied by Pascal and Ammy, while the Squires in the back were doing their best to usher everyone out of the mine/cave/whatever.

It took the gears in my brain an awfully long time to figure out what just happened, but once I did, I was tempted to pat Roland on the shoulder. Or, at least, I presumed it was his idea. Maybe Ammy was the one who came up with the notion; it would at least explain why she wasn't around until now, probably working on a Purple Zone anchor or whatnot. Or was it Judy, using his operation control privileges? Whoever it was, they were getting a shoulder-pat anyway.

In short, they did the same thing we did in the beginning, just in reverse. By taking all the non-essential combatants into the Purple Zone, they successfully separated them from us, allowing our Knights and co. to focus all their attention on me and my two eeevil minions of evil. Credit where credit's due, that was some quick thinking.

However, as the ground shook under my feet, I was once again reminded that we had a bit of a situation going on, so I looked back at Xiao… yet she was nowhere to be found. Instead, over the spot where she stood a few seconds ago, there was a large, coiling shape. It was about ten meters long, its serpentine body was covered in shiny golden scales, it had four short, clawed limbs, a bright red mane around its head, and a wide head with a long snout, complete with large deer-like antlers and thin whiskers like a catfish.

"Yep. That's a dragon," I muttered, half dazed and half exasperated.

I knew things were going to sooner or later take a turn for the worse, the crazier, or both, but pessimism or no pessimism, how the hell was I supposed to expect that…?

Part 3

Okay, let's take a step back and look at the big picture…

"Raaaagh!"

Just as I thought that, the place where I was standing got hit by the dragon's tail, forcing me to get out of the way.

"I didn't mean that literally!" I exclaimed, mostly out of surprise.

"{What are you talking about? Wait, don't answer. I have to focus on Amelia's group.}"

To be fair, I wasn't in a position where I could answer my dear assistant's question, as I was pushed even further back by the dragon letting out another roar, followed by a short blast of red dragon fire. The beam kicked up a cloud of white sand as it gouged a long ditch into the arena's floor, destroying one of the walls and scattering everyone left in realspace.

Since my danger sense warned me ahead of time, it didn't even come close to hitting me, but since Raven Boy was standing near me at the time, he was blown back by the shockwave the attack left in its wake. Seeing that she missed, dragon-Xiao let out another bass-heavy roar and flew at me, pressing her assault.

Glancing around, I realized that fighting here would've put the others at risk of further collateral damage, as while the Chinese dragon in front of me wasn't as huge as, say, the one that came out of the six Dragon Cubes in the show named after them, she was still pretty damn big. On the flip-side, since we were technically indoors, at least she wasn't able to just fly up and carpet-bomb the whole place, like any even remotely intelligent magical-beam-breathing flying reptile would.

While Phasing a couple of meters to the right, I finally collected my wits and took a step back to look at the situation as a whole. Dragon-Xiao was seemingly pinpoint-focused on me and me alone. Normally a mythical flying creature would've fallen under the category of 'bad news', but in this situation, it was pretty convenient for me. If she decided to go after Morgana and co., it would've made things much trickier, as unlike me, they couldn't just teleport out of harm's way, so in a way, her coming after me was a blessing in disguise.

Speaking of them, though, things were already getting a little hectic on their side, as while I was kiting Xiao, a full-on battle broke out between the two knightly groups. On one hand, Duncan and Penny were keeping Raven Boy busy, and with her anti-Purple-Zone artifact interfering with his special ability, they had him on the ropes.

"Stand down, Agrawain! We don't want to hurt you!" my sister called out between two strikes of her sword that looked like she definitely wanted to hurt him.

"An' gie back mah sword!" the big guy added, and I only just noticed that Raven Boy was using the executioner's blade I put into the inventory artifact a while back.

"I told you, I can't!" Agrawain barked back as he deflected the strikes coming at him. "I don't have a choice! How hard is that to understand?"

While he was definitely on the defensive, the guy was still holding up pretty well, which, considering the performance difference between the original armors and the Uniformers, probably wasn't that big of a surprise.

On the other hand, Morgana was soloing the remaining Uniformered Knights, and by the looks of it, she was winning.

"Snap out of it, Sister Morgana! Please come to your senses!" Arnwald pleaded, and I could be wrong, but I had a feeling that despite constantly aiming at her, he hadn't shot a single arrow since the battle began.

Miss Gorgon didn't respond and instead pushed her advantage, almost sending Roland flying with a strike of her flamberge.

"For god's sake, Arnwald! Shoot at her already!" he cried out, confirming my previous hunch right away.

"I can't! It's Sister Morgana!" Mr. Eagle objected with a pained expression, drawing an aggravated growl from his colleague.

"You don't have to shoot her in the head! Just keep her under pressure so that I can subdue her! We have to do it before Bel of the Abyss leaves the arena and the dragon focuses its attention on us!"

I couldn't see how that exchange ended, as I had to once again dodge a short dragon fire blast, blowing up one of the giant floodlights in the corner of the amphitheatre. Unlike Draconians, who had to charge it up, full-fledged dragons could apparently fire them up whenever they wanted to.

Oh, and since we're in the topic, I couldn't help but ask: What the bloody hell gives, Narrative!? Why is there a freaking dragon chasing me right now? How is there even a dragon in the first place, let alone a young one like Xiao? Wasn't the whole point that they are extinct, with only old ones like Sebastian hanging around while hiding in plain sight? Was Xiao another old dragon in disguise? If so, where was the foreshadowing? If not, where was the foreshadowing? Scratch that, where was any foreshadowing for any of this?

"{Chief? Can you talk?}"

"Oh, sure. I'm only being chased by a ten meters long phantasmal creature of legends with a wave-motion-cannon mounted in her throat. I have plenty of attention to spare." Hearing the distinctly disapproving-sounding silence on the other side of the line, I Phased a bit further away and amended, "Sorry, I'm a little stressed out at the moment. Do you have something to report?"

"{Grand elder Xinji is currently giving the backstory of Xiao to Joshua's group. I thought you would be curious about the details.}"

"I am, but this really isn't the time." With another Phase-jump, I avoided a tail-whip coming my way, and then added, "Can you give me a TL;DR summary?"

"{It's a fairly long story about him finding a sealed underground room in a hidden Tibetan temple high in the Himalayas and—}"

"A moment."

Realizing that her repeatedly rushing at me was ineffective, dragon-Xiao roared in frustration, shaking the whole amphitheatre. Then, all the debris around her started floating in the air, carried by what looked like semi-transparent strips of Chinese characters coiled around them, and after a beat, all of them flew at me at once. Of course, with my sixth sense, it wasn't hard to dodge them, but it still required my full attention. Once the barrage ended, she followed it up with a wide beam of dragon fire, which I observed from the audience seats after I Phased away.

"{I'll give you a written report later,}" Judy stated, and I couldn't help but agree.

"Yeah, that's probably for the best. I don't think I can dedicate my attention to a whole bedtime story with her being this adamant about vaporizing me."

"{What did you do to her?}"

"Weren't you paying attention?"

"{I was talking with Amelia at the time.}"

"I only threatened to stab the grand elder with Ascalon."

"{… You 'only' did that?}" Judy echoed me, sarcasm all but dripping from her deadpan voice.

It was around this time that dragon-Xiao found me again, and without a pause, she lunged at me again, her scaled body easily breaking apart the stone benches where I was standing a second before.

"I did it to goad Roland into making a move. How was I supposed to know Xiao would turn into a bloody dragon in response?" The moment I said that, all my previous grievances came to the forefront again, and I couldn't help but curse under my breath. "This is bullshit! There wasn't even a hint that she was not just the grand elder's granddaughter, but an actual dragon! At least with Sebastian, there were clues!"

"{… Chief? Did you seriously not notice how odd Xiao Feilong's background was?}"

Dodging a series of blasts and Phasing out of the way of a series of claw attacks, I distanced myself from her again and seriously considered Judy's question.

"No, I didn't. What are you even talking about?"

My dear assistant remained silent for a while, as if flabbergasted, then exhaled a shallow groan.

"{Chief. Grand elder Xinji doesn't have any children, and he adopted Xiao fifteen years ago, yet she still looks like a young child. She's also treated as highly as the members of the main family despite technically not being one of them, and she was poised to be the grand elder's hidden card during the tournament, meaning she had to be strong enough to compete with the likes of Elly and Zihao despite her apparent age. Did you really not notice any of these signs?}"

"Hold on, back up for a moment! I get the last part, but what was that about being adopted?"

"{You didn't know?}"

"No, I didn't! Since when did you know?"

"{I've heard it during the banquet. It's common knowledge in Draconian society.}"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"{As I said, I thought you already knew. Didn't we split up back then to gather information separately? The grand elder taking Xiao along with him to the island was one of the juicier pieces of gossip at the party, so I was certain you would've heard about it.}"

While I listened to her response, dragon-Xiao's whole body shone with golden light, and two additional illusory dragons appeared next to her. The three rushed at me at once, weaving around each other, probably to confuse me, but since two of them were semi-transparent and glowing with magical light, it was easy to avoid the real one, and then I dispersed the other two with my phantom limbs. It was only once she turned around and went back to firing beams at me that I responded.

"… No offense, Dormouse, but at this point you should've realized that I'm an idiot when it comes to small talk and gossip. This is exactly the kind of blind spot I hired you for."

"{Let's discuss this later. The others are calling me.}"

"Hey! Don't just abandon the conversation when—"

In the end, I didn't finish that sentence, as I could already hear the faint static the communication artifact gave me when it was unconnected. More importantly, after all the dodging and Phasing, I was finally back on the arena floor. The whole place was in considerably worse shape than when we began, which was saying something, considering the building was already in a sorry state after a bunch of Draconians duked it out between each other all over the place.

Glancing behind me, I found the Knights still entangled in a fairly even battle. I was curious about where all the Squires were, so I Phased to the other end of the amptitheatre to gain some breathing room and Far Glanced into the Purple Zone. The skirmish between Morgana's Squires and our own ex-Squires (Penny renamed them to Constables, I think) already concluded, with the numerically superior side naturally subduing the other with relative ease. On the other hand, they didn't seem to be in a hurry to intervene in the battle between the Entitled Knights, and instead remained in the Purple Zone to help with the evacuation.

I couldn't exactly blame them. They were well-trained and well-equipped, but going into that melee blender was still way out of their pay grade. Not that I paid them. Yet, I mean. I was planning to in the future, but never got around to it.

More importantly though, I was alarmed by the lack of alarms my sixth sense was giving me, so I focused my attention on the dragon floating a good ten-or-so meters away from me, apparently unsure about what to do next. It was hard to tell, being a giant flying serpent-lion-lizard-thing, but she looked more frustrated than anything. Then, as our gazes met, dragon-Xiao spoke up for the first time since she transformed, and her question threw me on a loop.

"Why aren't you fighting back?"

Her voice was deep and rumbling, yet at the same time, I could hear something resembling her human voice, that of a little girl, echoing behind it.

"{That's a good question,}" Judy agreed, choosing this moment to return. {Are your gloves out of charge already? What about the spear?}"

As much as I wanted to answer her, with Xiao's full attention on me, I didn't have the opportunity to respond to my dear assistant. As for what I would've said if I could… Probably an emphatic 'No'.

Even though I was looking at a big, scary dragon, it was actually still Xiao, and I absolutely didn't want to hurt her. Not only because Naoren was really overprotective of her, and I didn't want to fight with him, but because she was such a cinnamon bun that I couldn't bring myself to raise a hand against her.

More alarmingly, her question made me realize something else: if I didn't want to hurt her, and I couldn't just leave, lest she would turn her attention to Morgana and co., just how was I supposed to deal with her? The safest way would've been to just keep avoiding her until the battle behind us got resolved, and then we could—

"{Chief, I have an update: Josh and Elly, are planning to come out of the Restricted Space to support the Ordo Draconis members. They also want to bring some of the Constables along of back-up}"

Oh, that was good news. While I wasn't a big fan of Elly jumping into danger again, she was a tough girl, and considering how thoroughly I warned Morgana and Raven Boy about what I was going to do to them if she suffered as much as a single scratch from them, I was sure getting the battle finished sooner would be a net positive.

"{Sahi is also trying to go with them.}"

I let out an approving hum. Good. With her around, things would get resolved even faster, so I would only have to keep Xiao occupied for—

"{She says she always wanted to fight a dragon. Are you okay with that?}"

"Wait, what?" I whispered, too shocked to hold back my reaction. "Tell her she can't."

"{I can't talk to her, remember? She also already convinced Elly and Pascal, with only Josh arguing with her.}"

"Then tell him to keep up the good work. I'll try to wrap things up over—"

"Answer me!" Xiao roared, cutting me off. Apparently, she didn't hear my previous exchange with Judy. Maybe dragons had bad hearing? I mean, she didn't have any visible ears, so who knew? But putting my inquiries into mythical creature sensory anatomy aside, now I had a new dilemma on my hands.

If Sahi ultimately managed to come over and pick a fight with dragon-Xiao, things would get even more chaotic, and at least one of them would get hurt, potentially both of them, and if I came between the two of them, it would only increase the confusion and collateral damage.

In other words, I had to somehow resolve this whole situation as soon as humanly possible, because yeah, when in a chaotic situation while facing off against a freaking dragon of all things, we absolutely needed a strict yet inexact time limit too, because otherwise things would be just too bloody easy! Bah!

Anyhow, Xiao was still growling at me, expecting an answer, and after running a couple of potential scenarios in my head, I decided to stop overthinking things and simply do what I always did in situations like this. With that, I straightened my back, took a deep breath, and flashed a daring grin, which she naturally couldn't see, but it still got me in the right mindset. Initiating Refuge in Audactiy in three, two, one…

"Excuse me? Since when were we fighting?" I asked, making sure I sounded suitably puzzled. I waited for a beat, then abruptly Phased right next to her, at least as much as that applied to an enormous, floating serpent coiling in the air. "I was under the impression we were playing."

Xiao's whole body tensed up for a second, and a blink of an eye later, her tail struck down when I was standing, as if by reflex. This time I didn't Phase away, but instead I just took a last-moment step to the side, and once the ground stopped trembling under my feet, I casually placed my free hand onto her tail.

"You're it!" I declared with a happy-go-lucky voice, and she let out a comically discordant yelp before she hastily pulled away from me, stopping right around the spot where I stood just a few seconds ago. With our positions switched, I could also see that the battle in the background came to, if not to a halt, at least to a temporary lull, as all eyes were following our every move. Great. Now I even had an audience to worry about. Perfect.

"You! How dare you make a fool of me!" dragon-Xiao shouted at me, so I tilted my head to the side.

"Making a fool of you? Me?" Shaking my head, I let out a low chuckle, which only infuriated her even further. However, a moment later I switched to my serious voice and sternly told her, "Don't kid yourself, child. You're barely more than an infant; a newborn lamb unable to recognize the wolf even as she stares down its throat. This isn't a fight; I'm simply I entertaining you for my own amusement."

Xiao remained silent, only glaring at me, so I eased up my act and shook my head.

"Aw, come on! Don't give me those hurt puppy eyes! It makes me feel like I'm the bad guy!" After a long sigh, I suddenly snapped my fingers and pointed at her, putting her on guard again. "Ah, wait! I have a great idea! Here's the deal: I don't really want to kill you, because killing kids is all kinds of icky and brings you seven years of bad luck… or was it a broken mirror? Anyhow, the point is that you want to make this a fight, which I find hilarious, but also a little annoying, let's do this: you hit me with your full power. All of it. I won't dodge out of the way or anything and just take it head-on. When I come out of it without a scratch, you'll stop throwing a tantrum and accept that trying to pick a fight with me is silly. Deal?"

Instead of answering, dragon-Xiao's eyes lit up and she opened her huge mouth wide.

"I take that as I yes!" I answered with boundless enthusiasm, though, to be honest, I was feeling a bit pressured, as my danger-sense was giving me a rising sense of dread the longer I stared at the incoming attack. I had my reasons for asking her to do this, trying to kill two birds with one stone, but now it suddenly didn't seem like such a good idea.

I mean, sure, so far I had only seen her use the weaker, red dragon fire beams, but that didn't mean she didn't have the multi-colored 'true' one. After all, she was a freaking dragon; if anyone would have that, it should be her. I never had an opportunity to test if I could stop true dragon fire with my phantom limbs, and I really hoped I wouldn't have to find it out right here and now.

"Well, crap…" I blurted out as the red light coming from the dragon's throat changed to a bright golden one, and my sixth sense kicked up its warnings by a notch, but before I could even decide if I should Phase out of the way and play it off as Bel being a chaotic troll, my vision was painted entirely yellow.

I had no idea what was going on, as I had never encountered this kind of breath attack before, but my phantom limbs were already on the ready and I could immediately feel a kind of pressure as they dispelled and pushed aside the incoming torrent of raw magical power coming my way. Nevertheless, my danger sense kept yelling at me, which was odd, considering it didn't freak out nearly this much when the grand elder hit me with his breath attack.

Still, while the discordant sound and the blinding light surrounding me were annoying, I already made my choice, so I stood my ground and waited for Xiao to run out of breath, no pun intended. Ten or so seconds later, the incoming stream finally started to abate, and the very end of it was even turning red as the beam lost its power.

It took a second or two for my eyes to readjust themselves, and once they did, I found the previously fierce dragon haplessly staring at me, like I was some kind of monster or something. However, before I would talk to her, I had one more thing to take care of, so I raised the spear in my hand to eye level. Or rather, what remained of it.

"Well, I'll be damned. This really was a fake!" I exclaimed while staring at the burning stump where the spearhead used to be. It, along with a fourth of the shaft, got completely disintegrated by the golden dragon fire she beamed at me, and after a shrug, I casually threw the remains of the weapon over my shoulder with a disinterested, "Oh well."

"What… are you?" the big dragon leveled the dramatic question at me, though at the moment it sounded decidedly funny, considering how her squeaky tone didn't fit her appearance at all.

More importantly, the battle in the background came to a full stop this time, and at least Penny and Duncan looked like they would have to pick their jaws off the floor later. Good. One of the more important goals of today's excursion was to establish Bel as a credible powerhouse, and while I originally had a different method it mind, this one probably worked even better. Too bad only the Knights and Xiao saw it, but then again, word of mouth would spread it either way.

However, this wasn't the end. I still had to deliver the coup de grâce. Metaphorically speaking, of course, as I definitely wasn't going to hurt Xiao.

"Ah, that was fun," I noted absentmindedly and, without bothering to Phase, I took a step towards my opponent. To my surprise, she outright shrank back, which was pretty hilarious, considering the sheer size difference between the two of us. That said, my goal here was to assert dominance, so as I walked, I added, "I was hoping for true dragon fire, but I understand you are still too young to use it. A pity. It's been a long time since I'd last seen one, and I was almost looking forward to it. Alas, the past must remain in the past, it seems."

By this point, I was only a few steps away from Xiao, and to my deepest surprise, her whole body flashed with a bright golden light. For a moment I thought she was going to attack me again, but instead the enormous dragon quickly condensed into a small shape on the ground. Then, just as the light was about to subside, the legs under the still glowing humanoid body wobbled and Xiao fell onto her knees, just as her original shape came into full view. Or, on second thought, was the dragon her original shape? Semantics.

Much more importantly, unlike when Ichiko transformed, Xiao returned to her human figure with all of her clothes still on her. On one hand, I was happy that we avoided another awkward situation, but on the other, the fact that the world apparently couldn't make up its mind about how transformations operated aggravated me to no end.

It was a headache for later though, as right now, I had to continue the act.

"Are you… an elder dragon?" the little girl on the ground, deadly pale, asked me without managing to look me in the eye, and after a moment of consideration, I let out a derisive chuckle.

"Oh, no-no-no. I'm certainly not one of your kin, though you may consider me… let's say, a very, very distant cousin." Saying so, I finally reached her side and crouched down to her eye level, yet she still didn't look at me. In fact, almost seemed like she was outright unable to raise her head, so I decided to just pat her on the head and say, "Heh. You're a cute kid. Let's do this again after you grew up a little. How does sixty years sound to you? Maybe by then, you can show me some real dragon fire."

She didn't respond, so I just absent-mindedly rubbed her head and stood back up before turning to the group in the back, still staring slack-jawed at our interaction, with the question of 'Now what?' hanging over everyone's head.

Then, without warning, a small crack opened mid-air, which I immediately recognized as the kind of portal Ammy used to move between a Purple Zone and real space, and then a short brown girl shot out of it like she was launched through by a catapult, closely followed by Josh and Elly.

"All right! I'm, like, totally ready!" Sahi declared and stuck a pose, only to blink and look around in mild confusion. "Like, wasn't there supposed to be a dragon around here?"

Normally this would've been the point where I did a face palm, but I had to stay in character, so I just stood up and straightened my collar.

"I guess this is where the Queen moves to f7."

"{Wouldn't that be a checkmate already?}"

I let out an annoyed grunt, ignoring how my classy chess analogy went the way of the dodo, and instead I turned to our incognito arch-mage in preparation for the next act.

…

"{Were we white or black? Are we the ones being checkmated? Is that a good thing? Chief? Can you please explain yourself? Chief?}"

Note to self: before all of this is over, come up with a good excuse explaining how the whole chess thing was allegorical or something, before my Judybot's logic circuits get fried…