The Simulacrum

"Great job, everyone," Ammy announced, standing in front of our classmates gathered in the gym. She had already changed back to her uniform, and she looked tired yet satisfied. "The concert was a resounding success thanks to all of your hard work."

Her words were followed by a round of cheers that echoed in the hall, now completely vacated save for our class. She waited for things to quiet down before she continued.

"The show took a little longer than expected, so everyone should go and enjoy the remainder of the festival while it lasts."

She was underselling it a little, as in truth, our production lasted roughly twice as long as originally planned. The performance was supposed to take about forty minutes, but then the girl's duet added a solid ten minutes to that, and then we had to do an encore due to popular demand, so all things considered, we ended up just shy of one and a half hours. It was no wonder the class rep was exhausted.

"What about the stage?" Josh inquired with a hand raised over his head, and it was my turn to speak up.

"Leave it alone, will you? We'll have plenty of time to dismantle it tomorrow; the ball's in the evening."

"The third years organizing the ball said they would help as well," Ammy added. "The fireworks start at five, so everyone should go and participate in the other classes' attractions while we have the time."

"You have some plans too, right?" I asked and poked my friend in the side with my elbow, but he only reacted with an unusually bashful grunt.

"Don't act like you aren't itching to play with your girlfriends too," one of the placeholder guys said to me with a knowing smirk, eliciting a series of giggles from the girls behind him.

"Lucky sonuvabich," another guy grumbled, his back hunched over and his hands in his pockets in a stereotypical delinquent pose. "Why does he get to have two girlfriends?"

"Stop complaining and get moving. We have to check out the fortune teller stall before they close it," a tall-ish girl reprimanded him, and the two of them soon headed outside.

They opened the flood gates, and the rest of our classmates also streamed out of the gym in twos and threes, taking Ammy's words to heart. Normally I would've simply considered that standard placeholder behavior of the 'stage direction: exit scene' variety, but working with them on this project made me realize that they had gone through a lot of sneaky development while my attention was elsewhere. In fact, it got to the point where I could identify them at a glance, names and all.

For example, the first guy heckling me was Steven Johnson, while the second one was John Stevenson. Putting the frankly uninspired names aside, they turned into fairly distinct entities, which had once again reinforced our theory about exposure to 'main characters' leading to placeholders getting steadily more complex over time.

Anyhow, while I was musing about that topic, the remaining three stars of today's show also returned from the tent behind the stage.

"Oh maaan. I'm so pooped!" a certain, currently slightly-less-energetic-than-usual Celestial complained as she made her way over to us. She followed the class rep's example and changed back to her uniform, and was walking a little funny. "Ow. I can't even remember the last time I had sore muscles like this…"

"Is it worse than the time you attended that tennis camp over the summer break?" came the question from Josh, and after considering it, she shrugged.

"Back then my legs only hurt the day after, not right away, so ask me tomorrow." She paused to massage her left calf, then added, "I have a brand new appreciation for background dancers."

"I told you it would turn out like this if you kept jumping around," the guy said with a smile and then nodded towards the back entrance. "I've heard class A is doing a restaurant that's only selling Christmas-themed sweets. Why don't we take a look at their menu while you rest? My treat."

Oh? That was unexpectedly smooth coming from Josh. I was curious how she would react, but my attention was hijacked by my girlfriends attaching themselves to me, prompting me to raise a curious brow in the process.

"Weren't you going to change out of your costumes?"

My question was entirely reasonable, yet they looked at me like I was the weird one.

"Why would we?" Elly asked back with an impish little smirk. "When do you think we'll ever get the chance to go on a date dressed like this?"

"For the record, I was against the idea, but it would've been weird if only I changed back," my dear assistant commented on the other side, yet it only made the princess giggle like it was none of her problem.

"More importantly, did you like our surprise?"

"Of course I did. You two were incredible. You looked amazing, you sounded amazing, you moved amazing… In conclusion, I'd say your performance was easily the best thing humanity ever produced since the invention of sliced bread."

Hearing my honest answer made the two share a strange glance between each other.

"Chief, are you being sarcastic right now?"

"No, of course not, Dormouse. I'm one hundred and one percent sincere."

"… That still sounds sarcastic to me," Judy whispered to my other girlfriend.

"I don't know… He sounds genuine, but it's a bit too much."

"Maybe we're just not used to getting praised like that?" my dearest assistant proposed, and my princess repeatedly nodded with a serious expression.

"… Are you two trying to tell me I should compliment you more in the future?"

"If you take it that way, I certainly won't hold it against you," Judy noted with a coy wink. "You can leave your five-star review on Judybot's Palindrome page."

"Who ever heard of reviewing one's girlfriend on social media?" I asked with just a hint of amusement in my voice, and this time it was Elly who spoke up.

"Reviews are important! Audience engagement is crucial for building a fan-base and creating further business opportunities. Every band in our stable does it."

"You heard her, Chief. You must positively engage with us so that companies will see that there's interest in Judybot's development, and once they invest in us, we might even finally get that new beta version with a working whistling app."

"I didn't quite follow that, but I agree wholeheartedly," Elly said in the company of a slightly confused nod.

"How about we do that later and focus on the school festival for now?" I proposed, and after a beat of deliberating, Judy tugged on my arm.

"The Chief is right. We should leave the skit for later and get going. Even Ammy had left for her date, and we can't let her show us up."

I had no idea how she was going to do that when I had two idols strapped to my arms, but since everyone else had already left to join the festival, I wasn't going to bog us down even further by pointing that out.

"How about we check out Snowy's classroom?" I proposed on a whim. "Penny should be there too, and I promised her I would pay them a visit. We could start there."

"Might as well."/"Sure thing!"

With that, the three of us left the gym arm-in-arm and headed for the main stairs. I waited until we were out of the gym, and once I made sure we were only surrounded by unfamiliar placeholders, I finally addressed the elephant in the room.

"So, while we're on the way, would you care to explain to me how you managed to fly your duet under my radar?"

My girlfriends shared another glance between each other, which was slightly more difficult due to us walking through a crowd while holding onto each other, but at last, Judy stated, "Logistically speaking, it was a little tricky, considering we had to work around your Far Sight."

"That's why I'm asking. You couldn't exactly put together something of that caliber in an afternoon and hope I just wasn't looking at the time…"

"No, we planned this since the day the theme of our class attraction was decided," Elly explained with a satisfied grin.

"We only communicated about the plans through text messages, because you never pay attention to those," Judy added.

"Okay, that makes sense," I admitted a tad begrudgingly, "but how did you get your own costume? And when did you even practice the songs? You were even doing the poses and the peace signs and everything."

"I did it in the bathroom," Judy told me plainly. "We know you never use your powers when someone's in there, so I rehearsed the songs while in the shower."

"As for the dance moves, we practiced those in the girls' washroom during breaks, because you also don't spy on people when they are on the toilet," the princess said with a proud little smirk, meaning it was probably her idea. "That's where we took Judy's measurements for the dress too."

"It was much easier than expected. The girls' restrooms are very spacious."

It took a couple of long seconds for all of this to sink in.

"So you two have exploited all my blind spots in my Far Sight surveillance just to surprise me. I… don't really know how to feel about that. On one hand, the finale wouldn't have been half as impactful if I knew about it ahead of time, but on the other, it makes me feel kind of annoyed that my ability could be circumvented that easily…"

"It wasn't that easy," Elly pointed out in a hurry. "Not to mention, it only worked because we knew both your habits and how your power worked."

"Also, it's not like you would change any of them just because of this," Judy added, and while I wanted to deny her comment, I really couldn't.

I mean, technically nothing stopped me from peeping on people during their more private moments, but just because I now knew it was a blind spot, it didn't mean I'd suddenly start spying on Crowey while he was on the loo, just in case he was being contacted by a Celestial secret agent while he was taking a dump or something.

In the end, I shook my head and decided to forget about the whole topic. After all, I needed all the gray matter I could spare to etch today into my memory, so it was pointless wasting any mental energy on hypothetical toilet-spies.

Meanwhile, we reached the first floor without much issue, though we have certainly turned a few heads here and there. I couldn't blame them. Placeholders of not, seeing two pretty girls in idol costumes holding onto a single guy was probably peculiar enough to elicit some kind of reaction even from them.

"Ah, brother!"

The moment we came near the 1-A classroom, my eyes met with those of a redhead girl standing by the entrance, and she immediately perked up and waved at me. She was wearing a fairly simple, if decently frilly, French maid costume, complete with the ruffled headdress. Since their class was doing a maid café, this much was expected, but the fact she was even sporting one of those fluffy white feather dusters showed unexpected dedication to the craft.

More importantly, their class attraction was obviously very popular, as they had quite the dense crowd in front of the entrance. That is, until my sister glared at the people in front of us.

"VIPS ARE COMING THROUGH! GET OUT OF THE WAY, YOU MISERABLE NINCOMPOOPS!"

...

"Chief? Would it be rude if I said that, for the first time, I'm seeing the family resemblance?"

I sent the girl on my right a sideways glance and uttered a deadpan "Yes."

"Then it's a good thing I didn't say that."

Before I could object, Penny finished dispersing the crowd in front of us by brandishing her feather duster. It was a tad rude, all things considered, but the onlookers seemed to find it rather amusing, so I figured it was fine.

"Come! We have a table reserved for you!"

My sister beckoned, and led us to the only empty seats in the bustling 'restaurant'. They had rearranged the desks to form tables, hidden under floral print tablecloths, and there were half a dozen girls dressed in maid uniforms with trays in hand weaving between the seated customers.

The room was also divided into two segments with elaborately illustrated folding screens. The bigger side was the restaurant floor, while the smaller third was the 'kitchen', though in practice it was just the area where they stored the pre-made sweets and the espresso machines they borrowed from the cafeteria. Speaking of the folding screens, they appeared to be hand-painted with pastel-colored chibi maids, no doubt Snowy's handiwork, and they even had a large logo painted close to the middle saying 'Château des Sucreries'. Probably the name of their café, I surmised.

"I saw your performance!" Penny gushed to my dear assistant the moment we sat down. "You were amazing! And these clothes look great on you too!"

"What about me?" my other girlfriend inquired, and my knightly maid sister... Knightster Maid? Maidsterknight? Meidoknightster? Whatever she was, she twitched and conspicuously averted her eyes.

"It wasn't bad..." I inadvertently raised a brow at that, and when she noticed, she hurriedly sputtered, "D-D-Don't take me wrong! It's not like I liked her singing voice or anything, and I'm definitely not jealous of her hair, and, and..."

"Say, Kiddo?" I interjected before she could gather too much steam and enter into a full-blown tsundere skit. "Could I ask you to give us the menu please?"

"Right! The menu! I'm on it!" She turned on her heel, only to freeze and turn right back. "I mean, no! You're special guests, so you're getting the chef's special!"

Before I could ask if we had any say in the matter, she stormed off to behind the folding screens, but even so, we could still hear a muffled "Snowy! Come quick! Brother is here!" from the other side.

I put her out of my mind for the time being as I glanced at Elly, and found her chuckling with an affectionate smile that turned into a beaming one when she noticed I was looking at her.

"Isn't it hard to believe she used to be an accursed Knight? She's so cute!"

"Is she?" Judy asked, and the princess doubled down.

"She is! Did you notice how hard she blushed when I put her on the spot? And she makes these funny noises whenever she's startled too!"

I glanced at Judy and sent her a look that roughly translated to ‘Should we tell her?', but she shook her head, so I decided to leave the princess in blissful ignorance for now. In the meantime, Penny returned with my other sister in tow, and the two were carrying a frankly alarming amount of sweets with them.

"Welcome to Château des Sucreries, my lord and ladies," Snowy spoke in a practiced, demure voice, and after placing the trays, she gave us a perfect curtsy. Maybe because she was surrounded by girls in maid uniforms, but my Abyssal sister was apparently completely immersed in her role. Penny, less so.

"As special guests, this one is on the house!" the redhead girl declared with an ear-to-ear smile and a thumb up. "Go ahead, dig in!"

My eyes skimmed over the variety of sweets and cakes on display, and even just looking at them gave me heartburn.

"Do we have to eat all of this?"

Snowy flashed us a bashful smile and shook her head.

"There's no need to be pressured, sir. We shall take care of any and all leftovers, so please eat to your heart's content." After a pause, she quietly added, "I recommend the pancakes."

"Then we know where we should start!" Elly declared and proceeded to divide the pile of them equally between the three of us.

In the meantime, I prodded the conversation along by asking, "Are you two having fun?"

"A ton!" Penny declared right away. "At first I didn't understand what the hullabaloo was about maids, but then Snowy showed off her uniform, and I really got into it too!" She twirled around to show off her outfit, and then added, "I was never really a fan of ruffles and lace, but they grew on me. Hey, brother? Can we add them to—"

"We are not adding lacing to your combat uniform," I stated on no uncertain terms. "You've yet to convince me about the necessity of combat hot pants either, remember?"

"Uuu… One of these days…"

Ignoring the fuming redhead, I turned to my other sister.

"How about you, Snowy?"

"Naturally. It's always my pleasure to serve my lords and ladies with all of my heart."

"She's reeeally into it…" Penny leaned over and whispered to me with one hand shielding her mouth, only to freeze up when she noticed the look the silver-haired girl was giving her. "Awawa! D-Don't take this the wrong way! I'm not saying it's bad! It's good! Getting into your hobbies is great, and you look amazing in a maid uniform!"

"Really?" Snowy whispered as she self-consciously looked herself over, and the other girl immediately tripled down.

"Yes! I wish I looked half as good in one as you do! And… and…"

While my knightlier sister kept floundering, Elly finished dividing the pancakes, even if she had to do it while barely stifling her giggles. Judy had no reservations whatsoever, and had already eaten half of her portion (she was probably peckish after moving so much on the stage), so I took a bite as well, and it was definitely one of the top five pancakes I've ever eaten. Which, considering I could only remember eating them four times so far, meant that it was… okay. Not great, not bad. Tasty, yet pretty standard, but considering I was hungry, I was perfectly happy with it.

"What about you two?" I spoke up, interrupting Penny's fervent efforts to explain how Snowy could make her maid outfit even cuter if she wore her hair in twin tails, and my sisters gave me an uncomprehending look. "It's kind of weird to eat sweets while you two are just standing next to our table. Why don't you join us?"

"I'm afraid that's not possible, sir. A maid observing proper etiquette must never eat at the same table as her lord."

"Yeah, that. Also, if we sat down with you, then the other patrons will start asking for the same, and nothing will get done."

"That reminds me," Judy interjected after wiping the corners of her mouth with a napkin. "Is it all right for you to stay with us like this? Won't the others complain that you aren't doing your jobs?"

"Ah. It… doesn't seem like we're needed anywhere else, but… Snowy?"

"A maid must never shirk their duties. Let us return to our tasks."

"Aw, fine." Penny turned back to us and said, "Just wave when you're done and we'll take care of the plates!"

"Bon appétit," Snowy added, followed by a reserved bow, and they were just about to leave when I had a sudden idea.

"Say, girls? Do you want to join us for the fireworks?" The moment I said that, Judy lightly tapped my shin under the table, eliciting a confused, "What?"

"Chief, watching the fireworks together is the romantic finale of the festival."

"So? If you want to flirt, I doubt my sisters are going to mind much, and it's not like we're going to be the only people on the rooftop anyway. It's going to be one of those 'stereotypical school life memories' either way, so why not share it with the whole family?"

"I don't mind," Elly agreed between two bites. "The more the merrier."

"Penny said she didn't want to watch the fireworks, so—" Snowy began, only for my other sister to cover her mouth.

"No, I do! Let's watch them together!"

Once she managed to free her mouth, Snowy asked "Didn't you just say it would be weird if we watched it?" in a rare display of annoyance, and Penny averted her gaze once more with a nervous chuckle.

"It's only weird if we watch it alone, not if we all watch it together!"

"But why?"

"Because… uuu… Wait, I think someone's calling me! I have to go!"

Before Snowy could react, Penny jumped back and dashed behind the folding screens. My Abyssal sister blinked in surprise, then after giving us another curtsy, she followed after her in a hurry.

"I wonder what that was about?" Elly mused, and instead of coming up with an answer, I reached out with a napkin and wiped the whipped cream off her nose. I had no idea how she got that there, considering I was pretty sure nothing she ate so far had any of it on them, but that was my girlfriend for you.

While I was busy with that, Judy had a contemplative look on her face, and ultimately uttered, "UST?"

"Doubt it," I responded off-handedly between bites. "Not every awkward interaction has to be the result of UST."

"But it's not impossible," Judy insisted, so I firmly shook my head.

"Don't be the dormouse who cried wolf one too many times. More importantly, what's the plan for the rest of the afternoon?"

"I want to check out Sahi's class!" the princess proposed in an unnecessarily serious voice. "I've heard they have a fortune teller booth that gives all kinds of silly advice!"

"That sounds decently interesting," Judy commented absent-mindedly, while already thinking one step ahead. "After that, if we're going to watch the fireworks from the rooftop, should we change first? It's going to be cold outside, and these skirts are very short."

"No need! We'll just have to make sure Leo keeps us warm!"

"I don't think my cuddling can offset minus six degrees Celsius."

My draconic girlfriend considered my words, then declared, "In that case, we must go and try out all the class attractions before then and show off our costumes everywhere!"

"So long as we stay indoors, I have no objections."

I wasn't wearing a skirt, so I had no horse in this race. On the other hand, took a look at my plate, then the mountain of sweets in front of us, and stifled a foreboding sigh. Considering that half of the classes did some kind of themed restaurant or food stall, I more or less resolved myself to suffer through the heartburn of the century, but if my girlfriends wanted to visit all of them, then that's what we were going to do, come hell or high water!

…

That said, I took another bite from my so-good-it's-average pancake, and silently hoped I'd have an opportunity to sneak away to the nurse's office at some point and borrow some antacids…

"We'll be right back, don't go anywhere."

"I wasn't planning to. Now, hurry up. It's already half-past four."

Judy nodded, and followed after the princess, leaving me alone on the roof of the school. Relatively speaking, of course, as the place was already crowded with students in anticipation of the upcoming fireworks display. Because of this, I was volunteered by the girls to hold a spot while they changed into something warmer, lest we would miss our chance to view the show from the best possible vantage point.

Now, to be fair, I wasn't exactly dressed like an arctic explorer myself, but at least I had the advantage of trousers, so I wasn't quite frozen just yet. Only half, which still made me feel a touch uncomfortable, but on the flip-side, at least my minor indigestion was getting lost in the white noise. How's that for a silver lining?

In any case, since the girls asked for the best possible view, it was my boyfriendly duty to give it to them, so I picked the corner of the roof directly overlooking the track field. I expected that I would have to eke out my spot by force, yet the people around me gave me a large berth, almost as if I'd marked my territory with placeholder-repellent or something.

So, there I was. Mostly alone in the cold, without anyone to keep me company, and there was still nearly half an hour before the school festival would go out with a bang. Or several. Yet, I didn't even mind. In fact, I was kind of itching to get some me-time, and I couldn't have asked for a better opportunity than this.

After all, this long-awaited school festival was practically designed to be the pivotal turning point in a bunch of budding relationships, something I was eager to observe. For science, of course.

I obviously couldn't do that with the girls around, and even if I tried to take a few sneaky Far Glances, I was sure Judy would notice it right away, so I held back the urge until now. Such considerations were no more, and since I didn't even have to exert any effort to keep the students idling on the roof away from our reserved spot, I now had the chance to 'scientifically observe' my targets to my heart's content

For a start, I did a round of bad-guy-check. It was a force of habit I cultivated, just to be on top of any sudden developments. So, Crowey was in a meeting back in the Abyss. Something about budgets and funding and eternal vengeance on the Celestials and whatnot. It didn't have anything to do with us, so I moved on. Lord Grandpa was, in fact, at the school grounds as well, playing his cover role as the principal, and he was currently mingling with some parents. There was nothing to see there, so I moved on to Naoren next, and I found him doing some kind of tai-chi-type exercises with a group of identically dressed martial artists, likely instructing them in the process. Probably about how dragonfire-bending came from the breath, not the muscles, or something. I had no idea, as I still couldn't speak Chinese.

The grand elder was next, and at first, I thought I finally found something interesting, as he was having a clandestine meeting with one of the Eastern Draconian clan heads. It was easy to tell, because he was doing the exact same dragon-masks-and-bodyguards-routine that he played with the Knights. My excitement only lasted for a second though, as to my dismay, I found them speaking another Asian language. I was pretty sure it wasn't Japanese, but it had honorifics, so… possibly Korean? Needless to say, I couldn't speak either of those, so I had absolutely no idea what they were talking about. Again.

Oh well. Let's look on the bright side. At least now I knew he was still scheming in the background, and it involved the other Eastern Draconian clans in some shape or form. Unfortunately, that was all I could gather, so I quickly moved on to the meat of today's observations.

After some consideration, I decided to start with Sahi, and I found her still inside her fortune teller booth. We had visited it with the girls, and it was probably one of the more unique attractions this time around. They called it 'Dr. Sahi's totally scientific psychic quantum divination service', and as the titular 'doctor', she had the whole classroom rebuilt around her show. It was mixing traditional fortune teller garbs and decor with random lab equipment, beakers, and she even used one of those glowing plasma-ball lamps instead of a crystal one.

As for what it was all about, she used some old séance theatrics and stage magician tricks to build the atmosphere, and combined it with positively ridiculous 'quantum science' gobbledygook that sounded like it came from some online quote generator. Stuff like 'Your chakra's frequencies are interfering with your aura's ability to affect higher dimensional wavelength externalities'.

She was unexpectedly popular, and the girls, in particular, found her show so amusing Elly wanted to go for another round. As for me... let's just say I did my best to not interfere with their fun, and leave it at that.

Anyhow, at the moment she was still busy telling a couple how 'Qualia is only possible in sub-empirical boundaries' and 'Transcendence is inextricably connected to formless external reality', whatever the heck that even meant. I'd already heard more than enough of that, and since I couldn't see Armband Guy anywhere, I crossed them off the 'potential sources of shenanigans' list and moved on to look for greener pastures.

This time I picked the childhood friend duo, and was happy to see that I finally found something worthy of note. The two of them sat on one of the benches near the tennis courts by the far end of the sports field, apparently deciding to watch the fireworks from there. They were in a minority, as most people picked either the roof, or idled around on the edge of the track field, where the launchers were set up.

We were already knee-deep in winter, and the skies were overcast to boot, so nightfall came really early. That much was expected, as it was the reason the school scheduled the finale of the festival to start as early as five in the afternoon. On the flip-side, since none of the lamps in the vicinity of the tennis courts were lit, the darkness surrounding the two took me aback for a moment.

"Are you sure we can see the fireworks from here?"

"Trust me; this is prime fireworks-viewing estate!" Angie proclaimed with a proud grin. "I scouted this place last year, so I can guarantee it! In fact, I watched the whole thing from here!"

"So this is where you were back then!" the guy blurted out in surprise. "No wonder I couldn't find you…"

The Celestial girl's mood turned awkward on a dime and she lowered her gaze.

"Ah… yeah. That was kinda my fault last year." Josh raised a baffled brow at her confession, so she hastily clarified, "I mean, I tried my best to invite you during the previous school festival, but I kinda messed up."

"I don't remember you mentioning anything about either the fireworks or this place that back then," Josh muttered, his words prompting Angie to slump her shoulders. It only lasted for a moment, as she straightened her back and looked him in the eye.

"I'm going to tell you what happened, but you're not allowed to laugh. Got it?"

"... Is it something that would make me laugh?" Seeing the glare forming on Angie's face, Josh quickly backpedaled. "I won't laugh. I'll be stoic as a stone cliff."

She eyed the guy with undisguised suspicion for a while, but at last, she let out a shallow breath and began her explanation from an unexpected angle.

"It was our first year here, and we ended up in the same class, so I was pretty stoked. Especially after I've heard all kinds of things about the school festival of Blue Cherry High from the other girls. You know? About romance and stuff?" She paused and waited for Josh to clumsily nod along. "So, I figured it was one of those 'now or never' kind of deals, and I wrote a letter."

"You mean, one of those letters?"

"Yep," she admitted with unusually rosy cheeks visible even in the dim light.

"I don't remember getting any."

"I told you, that's because I messed up," she told him with a small wince. "I was so nervous, I kinda-sorta accidentally threw the letter into my own shoe-locker by accident, and I didn't realize it happened until the next Monday."

There was a long beat of silence while Josh's brain furiously connected the dots, and then his eyes opened wide.

"So the reason why you were grumpy all evening during the Christmas ball was because you thought I'd stood you up?"

"I wasn't grumpy," she denied with a huff, earning her a skeptical look from her childhood pal.

"You barely talked to me, beyond passive-aggressive jabs, and stomped on my foot something like a hundred times during the dance!"

"No, I didn't! I did it twice at most!" she objected while simultaneously confessing to the crime. "The rest were just accidents!"

"... Does that mean you're a terrible dancer?"

"No, I'm not, and I'll show you tomorrow, and then you'll be sorry!" the Celestial girl fumed, drawing out a chuckle from the guy.

"Wouldn't I be sorrier if you kept stepping on my feet?"

"Ah, you're right. I backed myself into a corner, didn't I?" Angie mused, sounding completely normal, as if her previous sulkiness had completely evaporated. Then her eyes gleamed and she pointed at the guy. "Waaait a moment! I didn't! You did! This way, you'll be sorry if I'm right, and even sorrier if I'm wrong! That means it's you who's in a corner!"

"Aw shucks, you're right. I better wear my steel toed boots tomorrow, just in case," Josh responded with a provocative smirk, stopping the excited girl in her tracks.

"Boo! Also, the mental image of you showing up to the ball in a pair of bright yellow boots is hilarious, but still, boo!"

"Hey! I meant military boots, not rubber ones! I don't even have any of those!"

"Don't worry; I'm sure Leo will let you borrow his!" Angie declared with a toothy grin, only to then contemplatively add, "I mean, I'm sure he has some. He has everything."

"Even if he does, I'm not wearing them," Josh declared on no uncertain terms.

"You won't? Awww… That's a shame."

"Do you seriously want me to dance with you in a pair of rubber boots?"

"Of course…" Angie began, and after a long beat, she exclaimed, "noooot!" in a strange accent, which resulted in Josh failing to stifle a laugh. I didn't think it was funny, so it must have been another one of their 'childhood friend things'.

Anyhow, the lively Celestial followed suit, and after a series of giggles, she took a deep breath and told him, "I’m just teasing ya, you silly-goose!" before she… wait…

Did Angie just give Josh a peck on the cheek? And the guy only smiled at her without devolving into a stuttering mess? In fact, I didn't notice this at first because of the poor lighting, but were these two holding hands the whole time? Please don't tell me I actually missed a major relationship development…

"This is still so weird!" Angie suddenly exclaimed between giggles, and she snuggled closer to the guy. "I never, in a million years, would've imagined you would be the one to ask me out!"

"I just… kinda went with the flow and… you know?"

Instead of answering, she let out another giggle and rested her head against Josh's shoulder and… and…

Father-honking son of a suburban goat-merchant! I did miss it! These two have successfully crossed the UST threshold and reached the finish line, and I missed it! Argh!

That got me kind of miffed, so I decided to move along to cool my head a little. Sure, I missed one major development, but it wasn't the end of the world, right? The night was young, and there were still plenty of opportunities to catch a glimpse of something interesting. With that in mind, I switched targets and focused on the red dot of the class rep, and even before my point of view fully arrived, I was sure she was in the company of Mike. So far so good.

Once my vision cleared, I found myself staring down at the two of them seated at a table in a desolate corner of the cafeteria. The fact that it was deserted might've been a little unexpected, but it made sense in context. Considering the number of food stalls and restaurants the classes opened for the day, there was no need for it to operate, which made it a surprisingly good spot for a private conversation.

Ammy had a half-eaten crepe and a paper cup in each of her hands, while the hapless Celestial agent fumbled with what looked like a half-eaten burger wrapped in a ghost-print napkin, meaning it probably came from Armband Guy's haunted restaurant. More importantly, this place was considerably better lit than the sidelines of the tennis courts, and I was relieved that I couldn't see any starry-eyed handholding. That meant I probably didn't miss anything significant.

Now then, let's stop beating around the bush and listen in a little closer, shall we?

"I originally didn't want to do it," Ammy commented, apparently following up on something they were talking about, "I'm not much of a singer, and I couldn't dance well, but..."

"Nonsense! You looked incredible!" Michael interrupted her with his mouth full. He quickly chewed his food and added, "I mean that!"

"I know, I just..." the class rep's voice trailed off into a shallow sigh. "Normally I would've never done something like this, but... I think I wanted to change. Or at least try. To push my limits."

"You don't need to change though," Mike noted with a shy smile. "If you ask me, you're already wonderful."

Wow. That might've worked if he delivered it properly, but it just sounded awkward when it came from his mouth. Contrary to my expectations though, Ammy reacted positively and her lips curled up into a small but honest smile. Maybe clumsy guys were her type? It would certainly explain a thing or two.

"I'm glad you think that. To tell you the truth, I had my heart in my throat the whole time, because I was really afraid I would mess up while you were watching."

"Even if you did, you would still be wonderful!"

Whoa, dude. You're trying waaay too hard…

"I would've cheered you on no matter what!" Mike doubled down, going as far as to pound on his chest for some entirely inexplicable reason.

"I know that too." Ammy let out a small chuckle, followed by a pause and a small tweaking of her glasses. "Or rather, I would've known, if you had told me you would be coming to the concert. Do you have any idea how surprised I was when I noticed you in the front row?"

Was he there, I pondered? I didn't remember seeing the guy in the crowd, though considering its size, maybe that's not so surprising. He was probably on the other side of the four stalker amigos.

"I wanted to surprise you," the Celestial agent admitted while nervously scratching the back of his head. "Also, I tried to avoid making contact with your grandfather. I think he doesn't like me."

"Grandfather is just under a lot of stress right now. He's normally very nice," the class rep lied through her teeth without batting an eye. Or at least I presumed she did so, as I could not imagine a scenario where the words 'Lord Grandpa' and 'nice' could be used together without industrial-strength sarcasm slathered all over it.

Mike shared my sentiment, as he responded with a skeptical, "If you say so," followed by a slightly less skeptical, "To be honest, I'm more afraid that he would discover my secret."

The class rep scrunched up her brows, seemingly not understanding what he was going on about, prompting him to try and clarify what he said.

"You know? My identity." She still looked at him uncomprehendingly, so the guy exhaled a low groan and spelled out, "I mean that I'm a Celestial."

"Oh, you meant that?" Ammy's face lit up with a relieved smile. "I think Grandfather already suspects that."

"He... He does?"

"I think so. He never said it outright, but in a roundabout way, he told me not to talk about any confidential information when you're around."

"Isn't that... really bad news?"

"So long as you are friends with Leo, I don't think you have anything to worry about."

I could totally see the question 'Are we friends?' written all over the guy's pale face, but Ammy didn't seem to notice. She took a long sip from her paper coffee cup and let out a content sigh.

"So you're saying that, as long as I remain on good terms with Leonard, your grandpa won't touch me even though I'm with the CIN?"

"I presume. Angie never got into any trouble either once Leo talked with him." A moment after she said that, the class rep winced and shook her head. "It was the first time I saw Grandfather that livid, but things got resolved smoothly afterward."

"Wow… I knew Leonard was influential, but to think even the arch-mage of the island has to yield to him…"

"I don't think that's the right word," Ammy whispered with the tiniest of frowns.

"Respects him?"

"I think it's different."

"… Is he intimidated by him then?"

The class rep raised a finger, probably to deny him on the spot, but then she stopped and used the same hand to tweak her glasses instead.

"Maybe? It's hard to tell."

"In your grandfather's defense, he is kind of scary. And that's coming from me, a CIN operative!"

"That's because you're a scaredy-cat," Ammy teased him out of the blue, and the guy honest to goodness flushed when faced with her surprise attack. "Don't look at me like that. You are. You called Grandfather scary, Leo scary, Pascal scary… You were even afraid of Neige after you learned she was from the Abyss."

"Hey, stop that! I'm not a coward, I just have a very well-developed survival instinct!" the guy insisted as he rapidly descended into a full-blown sulk. "It's not my fault that you're surrounded by scary people… But don't worry! It's still not going to stop me!"

"From doing what?"

"I… can't tell yet. I'm still waiting for the right moment," Mike told her a tad sheepishly, then he glanced at his fancy wristwatch and added, "The fireworks are about to start any minute now. Are you sure you don't want to view them?"

"No. I've been watching them every year since I was little. I'd much prefer staying indoors."

"Weeell… In that case, I suppose this is as good a time as any!" the not particularly secret agent declared before inhaling deeply, probably to hype himself up. It didn't work, as he soon deflated and added, "Can you give me a moment, please? I have to prepare myself."

Smooth, man. Real smooth.

The class rep didn't share my sentiment, mainly because she was obviously lost in thought, and before Mike could finish whatever preparations he needed to make, she called out to him.

"Before you say anything, I… think it's best I tell you something first. It's important."

Maybe it was the uncertain tone, or the fact she didn't look him in the eye, but the class rep's words made Mike outright flinch, and respond with an apprehensive, "I'm… listening?"

This time it was Ammy who needed time to prepare herself, and once she did, she told him, "I have a good idea about what you want to say, and I feel I have to tell you about this before you do. Mike, I… have a secret."

Oh? What's this? Is Ammy actually going to tell him that she's a…?

"I'm a homunculus."

Daaamn! She just came out and said it! That caught even me off-guard, and as for Mike, for the next couple of seconds he looked like he was doing some kind of stuffed fish impression.

"Ex… cuse me?"

"I said I'm a homunculus," Ammy repeated, this time a little less emphatically. "I was created by Grandfather and raised inside the School until the first year of middle school."

"… So that's what Leonard was warning me about," the clumsy Celestial muttered in a barely audible voice, but then he quickly shook his head. "Why are you—?"

"I just… felt that you should know," the class rep cut him off while predicting his question. "It's so that you wouldn't make a choice you would come to regret."

Mike blinked, and then, in a surprising turn of events, his brows descended into a rare, genuinely angry scowl and he exclaimed, "What are you even talking about?!"

She startled Ammy and she shrunk back in her seat, but he either didn't notice, or was too caught up in the heat of the moment to care, as he continued with, "Why would I regret anything? You are still you! You are Amelia! So what if you are a homunculus? It just means that you can't—!"

"Brother!"

"Wait, wha—?"

Without any prior warning, I suddenly found myself back on the rooftop, with a certain redhead shaking my shoulders.

"Hey, brother? Are you all right? Why are you zoning out like that?"

"P-Penny, stop shaking him! Leo's going to be angry…" My other sister tried her best to stop her, but with little success.

It took me a few moments to reorient myself, but then exasperation bubbled up from the pit of my stomach like a geyser as I shook Penny off me.

"Horse-tooting mother of a water fountain! I was this close! This freaking close!"

"Y-You see… I told you…" Snowy mumbled next to me, but I was too worked up to care. After quickly finding my anchor again, my vision returned to the empty corner of the cafeteria, but by this point Mike and Ammy stopped talking and were only giving starry-eyes looks to each other over the former's still half-eaten burger. They were also holding hands across the table, which meant the guy was probably successful.

That meant I not only missed the opportunity to organically learn why being a homunculus was such a persistently big deal, but I somehow failed to catch not one, but two fruitful confessions! What is this I don't even…

A soft groan later I returned to my body and directed a peeved glance at the girls squabbling by my side.

"I told you we should've just waited over there," Snowy stated, and my other sister firmly shook my head.

"And I told you that's no good! We need Leo to be around, otherwise people would get the wrong idea!"

"The wrong idea about what?"

"Us! It would be like when the squires were convinced I liked Leo because I trained with him a lot!"

"I'm confused… Are you saying you didn't like Leo, and that's why you were sparring with him?"

"No! I liked him, but not like that… Or at least I think I didn't… A-A-Anyway, I don't want others to think I hang out with you because we're like that, because then they start gossiping, and then it'll be weird and awkward, so we need Leo to be around so everyone will know we're watching the fireworks together because we're family!"

"… I still can't follow."

"Why? It's perfectly logical!"

"No, it's not," I cut in, followed by a tactical forehead flick. "Also, stop shouting. You're drawing attention."

"Ow! We wouldn't be drawing attention if you weren't spacing out…" Penny grumbled while rubbing her forehead. I ignored her and turned to Snowy, who also had her hands over her forehead even though I had no intention to flick it.

"Have you seen the others?"

"N-No? We thought they would be with you."

"They left to put on their coats aaand speak of the devil."

My sisters followed my line of sight where Judy and Elly just emerged from the roof access doorway, and after a few seconds of fumbling, during which their eyes were probably adjusting to the darkness, the two of them hastily made their way over to us.

"Phew! You see? I told you we wouldn't be late!" the princess triumphantly declared.

"But only because I kept telling you to hurry up," my dear assistant grumbled and sidled up to me. "Is there a problem, Chief?"

"What makes you think that?"

"You're frowning."

"Well, I did miss a few pivotal moments I was looking forward to, but nothing serious."

"Pivotal moments?" Elly repeated after me, and I mouthed a silent 'I'll explain later' to her.

"They are turning off the lights!" Penny exclaimed, and just as she said, the lamps around the yard and the sports field went out one section at a time.

"That means the fireworks are about to start," Judy noted, and as if by prior agreement, my two girlfriends took their customary spots by my sides as we gazed at the sky over the track field, and before long, I could hear the first projectile being launched high into the air, followed by a deafening, multicolored boom.

"Wow!" Elly exclaimed and grabbed onto me, sounding unexpectedly excited. Normally one would think a draconic girl who could breathe kaleidoscopic beams of destruction would find this kind of display mundane, but her eyes sparkled brighter than the explosions in the sky.

I glanced over to my other side and found Judy just as engrossed in the display, with a rare yet correspondingly lovely smile on her lips. Before long, my brows slowly but surely unknit themselves, and I put my arms around my girlfriends, pulling them into my embrace without any resistance.

Sure, I might've been too late to catch Mike's confession, or whatever happened between the childhood friend duo, but it mattered little. I raised my head, stared into the cloudy sky painted in the colors of the rainbow, and felt content in the knowledge that this was a moment I definitely didn't miss, and would remember for the rest of my life.

"From today onwards, you are a lamp," I declared as I pointed at the rotund, flesh-colored mini-shoggoth in the corner of my living room, and it let out a happy 'nyuu' sound, that kind of reminded me of a cat's meow, but wasn't quite right.

It hopped in place without taking its one large eye off me for a moment, and after waving a pair of its stubby tentacles around in a fashion that vaguely reminded me of a salute, it abruptly disappeared in a puff of smoke and was replaced by a simple standing lamp mirroring the one in the other end of the room. I waited for a beat, then used my Far Sight to check, just to be sure, but the peculiar inter-connected red dot was still in front of me, meaning I could still use it for Phasing in.

"Looks good. Remember, you can move around when nobody's home, but don't make a mess, and don't come upstairs even if you hear weird noises. Are we clear?"

I've got no answer. But then again, I was talking to a lamp, so I had no idea what I was expecting.

Anyhow, since my experimental anchor was in place, I turned around and gestured for the giggling mini-miko to come over to my side.

"What's so funny?"

"I'm just happy that ue-sama is getting along with Pudding-kun," she answered as she tottered over from the couch, holding Cal in one hand and her sword maintenance kit in the other.

"If you want to look at it that way, be my guest," I answered, wrapped a phantom limb around her, and a moment later, we reappeared in the reception room of the underground base. Incidentally, it now also had an instance of 'Pudding-kun' hanging on the wall, disguised as a nice autumn landscape painting, serving as my new anchor point. This way, we no longer needed to have one of the Fauns standing around the teleport closet, just in case I needed to bring someone over without prior notice.

The moment we arrived, I more or less pushed Ichiko into the main hall and told her, "Take care of Cal for me. I'll pick you up tomorrow morning."

"Don't worry, ue-sama! It's Cal-san's scheduled weekly maintenance day, so I will make sure to clean them properly!"

"Thanks. I'll see you tomorrow."

Without waiting for her to respond, I closed the metal door behind me and Phased home right away. Then I let out a pent-up breath I've been holding in for quite a while.

I was finally alone in the house, not counting the disguised tiny shoggoth, of course. I had already ferried my sisters over to the base a while ago, where they would spend the night. Of course, they were curious about the reason why, but I kept my mouth shut. Even so, I didn't exactly have to force them, as Penny was quite excited about Snowy sleeping over at 'her place'.

Putting my knightlier sister and her weirdness aside for the moment, I headed upstairs and entered my room. I liked to keep things tidy in general, but today I paid extra attention to the small details. For a start, I made sure to clean up the whole place, from the carpets to the shelves, even though there wasn't much the invisible ninja maids didn't already take care of. I also changed the sheets to brand new ones, turned up the thermostat a few degrees, brought over a couple of extra pillows, just in case, and I even went ahead and lit a couple of scented candles for the sake of ambiance.

Still, it never hurt to be thorough, so I went through my checklist again. The bed was good, so that's a check. I also showered and brushed my teeth, so that's a check as well. Inside the nightstand, I had already prepared everything needed for the night, so that was a check too. All things considered, I was about as ready as I could get. Now, the only things missing were my girlfriends, but last I checked, they were already on their way in the Dracis family's limousine, so I figured they should be arriving any minute now.

After walking over to the window, I took a glance outside, but couldn't see much. It was well after nine in the evening, and it's been snowing ever since the school's Christmas Ball began in the late afternoon, blanketing the whole street in white while also obscuring my vision.

Speaking of which, the ball was a little underwhelming after the Draconian banquet, but it was tradition, and Elly was really looking forward to it. Naturally, I fulfilled my boyfriendly duties and accompanied her for a dance, and she kept dragging me around the dance floor about as much as I expected. Judy was considerably less enthusiastic about things, mainly because she had sore muscles after the performance on the day before, so we only danced a single round and let her sit the rest of the ball out. Afterwards I also took Snowy and Penny to the dance floor, but that was just a brotherly obligation.

As for the rest of the guys, for one reason or another, Josh and Angie didn't announce their relationship-upgrade, but I had a feeling everyone already had a good idea about the two of them even without an official announcement. It probably had to do with how close the Celestial girl was sticking to her childhood pal, as well as some clear signs of jealously. Or rather, clearer than usual.

While on the subject, since the ball was only for the students of Blue Cherry High, it meant Mike couldn't attend it. As such, for some inexplicable reason that the girls found completely obvious, Joshua had to pick up the slacks and dance with the class rep so that she wouldn't remain a wallflower. Then, since Snowy didn't have a partner either, he had to dance with her too. In the end, he ended up dancing with practically everyone in our group of friends.

Well, save for Penny, who categorically refused, so at the end of the day she only danced with me and Snowy. I have no idea about the latter, but I imagined it was another of those 'caught in the moment' things, and it prompted Elly to try and convince Judy to dance with her as well. It started something of a fad among the placeholder girls afterwards, but that's neither here nor there.

But back to Josh: between each round with one of the girls, he also danced with Angie once, so it meant he was on the dance floor for something like six or seven rounds. Credit where credit's due, the guy was a trooper, especially considering how hard the jealous Celestial girl was trying to stomp on his feet by the end of it. I suppose some things just never change.

More importantly, after doing the bare minimum, the extended Dunning family (meaning me, my sisters, and my girlfriends) quietly retreated from the ball, citing certain prior appointments. We took advantage of the princess's access to a limo to get us home, after which Judy left along with her, ostensibly to return the dress she borrowed from her wardrobe, and I had Ichiko quietly move from her shadow to mine. Once we got home and my sisters changed out of their ball gowns, I quickly ferried them over to the base, took a mini-shoggoth back, then delivered the little miko on the final trip, and thus we were back to the present.

This day was about as tiresome as I expected, but it was far from over. In fact, the biggest hurdle was still ahead of me, and it made me quite worried. As for why I was worried, I seriously couldn't tell, but human psychology was both a mysterious final frontier and one enormous bitch. Seriously, how come I was more nervous right now than when I was facing off against a freaking Chimera? What kind of sense did that make?

Maybe I should make myself a cup of hot tea, I mused? I was pretty sure I had some chamomile tea in the kitchen cupboard, and I've heard that was good for the nerves. At the very least, the process would hopefully occupy my mind and… wait. If I drank something now, wouldn't that mean that I'd have to wash my teeth again afterwards? Would it? Would the girls even mind?

My worries ended up completely pointless, as while I was vacillating, a familiar long car turned the corner and came to a stop in front of my home.

"Oh boy. Here we go," I muttered under my breath as I turned on my heel to head downstairs and let the girls in.

"Look, Leo!" the princess exclaimed and held out her hand to me the moment I opened the door. On closer look, she a couple of large snow-flakes resting on her gloved palm, so I figured she was trying to draw my attention to those.

"I see. We're going to have a white Christmas this year," I responded and got out of the way, eliciting a couple of excited giggles from my draconic girlfriend. Well, at least one of us wasn't nervous.

"Hi, Chief. Emese told me to give you these cookies," Judy stated in a deadpan voice and handed a whole basket over to me, followed by a shallow sigh. "She's almost as bad about the holiday as my mother."

My dear assistant looked more tired than anything, so… make that two, I supposed.

"I'll put these down somewhere."

"We'll be with you in a moment," Judy told me while peeling herself out of her winter coat.

"Ah? Isn't it warmer in here than usual?" the princess commented on the side as she took off her fur coat, revealing an unexpectedly form-fitting woolen sweater underneath. It hugged her lines quite snugly, and…

Shaking my head, I quickly headed for the kitchen and put the basket onto the counter. I needed to keep a cool head. This was an important day, and I had to be on the top of my game. I couldn't afford to come off as trying too hard, or worse yet, creepy. Act natural, Leo. Natural.

Once I got my frayed nerves under control, I returned to the living room, where the girls were already waiting for me. I tried my best to act nonchalant and ask, "So, what's the plan? Do you want to watch a movie first, or cuddle, or…?"

"No, Chief," Judy answered with unnecessary solemnity. "We have to get down to business as soon as possible. The longer we wait, the more likely it is that we could get interrupted by some kind of silly development."

"R-Right. Let's get to b-business!" the princess echoed her while putting up a brave front, but it meant little when she was turning red to the tips of her ears.

"Are you sure? I even had a fun romantic comedy in mind," I noted, by Judy had none of it.

"Hush, Chief. We're taking the lead here. I hope you don't have any objections."

"I…"

"Good. Now, go to your room while we refresh ourselves."

Before I could ask what she even meant by that, my dear assistant pushed me towards the stairs. A moment later, she was joined by the princess as well, so I couldn't resist, even if I tried. Not that I really wanted to, so in the end I obediently headed upstairs.

Once I was back in my room, I closed the door behind me and sat down onto my bed. As I listened, I could hear the bathroom door opening and closing, and the girls walking up and down outside, and while I was tempted to Far Glance at them, I had a feeling it was a bad idea that would only get me even more nervous.

As such, I took a deep breath and went through my checklist again.

Bed? Still fine.

Thermostat? Still set to balmy.

Candles? Still burning.

Miscellaneous bits and pieces related to recreational reproductive endeavours?

"Actually, let's check them again, just to be sure," I whispered as I slid over to the nightstand and took a look inside.

In preparation for today's activities, I stocked up on everything we could potentially need well ahead of time. Hydration was important, so I had about a dozen bottles of mineral waters, ice teas, and fruit juices stored in the back. Beside those, I had a box of tissues, a packet of wet wipes, and a clean towel for various levels of cleanup. All of it seemed to be in order, so I moved on to the more sensitive items in the drawer.

First and foremost, I had seven different packets of condoms. Extra thin, extra-large, ridged, bumpy, and a couple of other configurations with 'For her pleasure!' plastered on the front of the packaging in a bright yellow font. Since I obviously never used any of these, I had no idea which one would be the best to 'wear' tonight, so I just bought one of each and hoped we could figure things out together.

Staying on the topic of contraceptives, I also bought a box of morning-after pills, just to be on the safe side. They were surprisingly easy to get, and since the drug store was run by an old placeholder lady, I didn't even get any odd looks. It had 'Plan B' written on the box, which is what it literally was.

As for the rest of the drawer, it was filled with five bottles of 'lubricants'. They were different brands and, more importantly, different flavors. I knew Elly liked strawberries and watermelons, so I made sure to grab those, but in retrospect, it might not have been as bright of an idea as I first thought.

I mean, it's one thing to like sweet stuff, but it didn't mean one would like to taste it while doing the horizontal hokey-pokey. Not to mention, there was a very high chance there wouldn't be any activity involving mouths today, so maybe the whole thing was a waste of time and money to begin with? And now that I took a better look, the heck is this? Is this flavored like crème brûlée? Why did I buy this one? Strawberry and watermelon make some sense, but why did I think this was a good idea? And what's this? Salted caramel? What was I thinking!?

Though… maybe they'll like it? At the very least, it should be a novel experience; as if things wouldn't be new and unfamiliar enough already. But then again, they might find it weird, and I didn't want to start things off weird. Should I leave the question of flavors until after we're already in the mood? But wait, what if they won't like any of them? Shit, I should've bought a bottle without any extra flavoring, just in case. Did we have anything at home we could use as a replacement in the—?

"Good evening, master!" / "We are at your service."

The chaotic thoughts swirling in my head came to a sudden and screeching halt the moment the door was abruptly thrown open by the girls. My eyes opened wide in surprise, but then a long beat later something shifted in my brain, like flipping a switch, and I let out a long sigh.

"Thanks, girls. I really needed that."

My words took my girlfriends visibly aback. I had no idea what they were expecting, but it apparently wasn't this.

"You're welcome?" the princess responded a touch uncertainly, but then she quickly followed it up with, "Wait, why are you thanking us again?"

"You have no idea how much you helped me just now. I was all nervous and jittery, but then you showed up in those clothes, and now I'm only annoyed, which is a million times more preferable," I told them with a wide smile, and then followed it up with another sigh. "Seriously though, what the heck is up with these maid costumes? I already told you I don't have a maid fetish."

"Yes, but you also admitted that they had a small effect on you when we're wearing them," Judy told me, with completely unwarranted confidence. "In love and war, every little advantage has to be grasped."

"That's right!" Elly exclaimed with her fingers clenched into fists in front of her chest. "This is war!"

"No, I'm fairly sure it's not," I pointed out, but she was too worked up to listen.

On the other hand, I was feeling surprisingly clear-headed at the moment. The shock of the two of them showing up like that was really quite effective at knocking me out of my nervous spiral. One deep breath later I leveled my gaze on my girlfriends, and beckoned them to come over to my side.

Looking closer, these were probably the exact same costumes they were wearing the first time they ambushed me a couple of months ago. While I purposefully wasn't paying too much attention to them back then, I had to admit they looked damn charming in them, and in the case of Elly, the cut of the outfit really emphasized her curves. As for Judy, her maid outfit was going for a cuter design, which… well, didn't suit her perfectly, but I was never going to say that out loud. Maybe if she went for a more serious head-maid kind of look, it would've fit her demeanor better, but on the flip side, this style made her look smaller and more adorable, so it was hard to make a final judgment.

While I pondered about this, the two of them arrived in front of me, and I gestured for them to sit down. They did so, and a short pause later I could hear Judy grumble, "This isn't nearly as passionate as I expected."

"Oh, hush, you," I whispered as I put my hand around her waist, pulled her closer, and lightly kissed her exposed neck. "If you wanted something more passionate right off the bat, you should've come in wearing lingerie or something."

"Actually, you look fairly passionate from where I'm sitting," the princess commented on the other side, so I pulled her closer too.

"It's just your imagination."

Saying so, I leaned over to her side and gave her a deep kiss.

"Wait a moment. We are the ones who are supposed to be on the offensive," Judy declared out of the blue, and she pulled on me. We both fell backwards and ended up lying on our backs, and since I was still kissing Elly at the time, I ended up dragging her along too.

"You're right!" the princess declared, even though she was so red it looked like she was going to blow a fuse at any second. When she noticed I was staring at her face, she somehow flushed even harder, and suddenly closed in on me, locking our lips together again.

"Hey! My turn!" my dear assistant called out and leaned over me, pressing her chest against mine and grabbing my head before giving me a kiss as well.

She indulged herself for quite a while, during which Elly stuck even closer to me and entwined our legs together. Once Judy finished, I could finally take a breath, and ask the question that's been on my mind for a while.

"Speaking of turns, who's going first?"

My girlfriends paused, as if the question took them completely by surprise, and shared an odd glance between each other.

"I knew we forgot something," Judy muttered, and the princess followed her up with a series of awkward giggles. Then, as if they had rehearsed it ahead of time, the two of them sat up at the exact same moment and faced each other.

"Rock-paper-scissors?"

"Best out of three."

"Sure! Loser has to turn off the lights!"

"I'm fine with that."

And thus began the most intense game of roshambo in history. As for me, I kept lying on my back, stared at the ceiling, and wondered why I was ever nervous in the first place? Ignoring the passionate cries of 'Rock!' and 'Damn, it's a tie again…' in the background, I closed my eyes, and decided to stop worrying and just go with the flow. After all, even if I messed up a bit here or there, it wasn't like I could make our first time any weirder than this…

There was something oddly relaxing about the sizzling of oil early in the morning. It was one of those things that screamed 'cozy', and the fact that I was the one responsible for it made it feel even better. In fact, I kind of zoned out listening to it, and burned the bottom of the last sunny side up egg.

"Well, I guess that's mine..." I whispered under my breath and slipped it onto the middle plate on the counter, already holding a pair of fried cheese sandwiches. The eggs were just a bonus.

"Breakfast's ready," I announced while balancing the three plates in my hands, eliciting a giggle from the princess already sitting at the dinner table. Her hair was still damp after taking a shower, which reduced her ringlets into a pair of curly locks framing her face. She was only dressed in a bathrobe that incidentally revealed a generous amount of cleavage. Whether that was on purpose, by accident, or because it was my bathrobe and so it was five sizes too big for her, I couldn't tell. Nor did I mind, to be honest. I might've had a below-average sex drive, but I certainly wasn't above eye candy.

"Good morning, Chief," Judy greeted me, for the third time today, as she very slowly made her way over to the empty seat next to Elly's. She was also wearing a spare bathrobe, though she wore hers a little more modestly, and she was visibly out of it after last night's activities.

"Juice or ice tea?" I threw out the question, and they both answered with 'juice'. While I was busy preparing the glasses, my attention was suddenly drawn to a pained hiss coming from the table.

"Ow," my dear assistant followed it up with a deadpan noise and continued to fidget on her seat.

"Does it still hurt?" my other girlfriend asked with audible concern, but she shrugged her off.

"A little. It's more or less what I expected for my first time." She paused and sent a sideways glance at the blonde girl and followed it up with a sardonic, "I guess not everyone can be lucky. Or experienced."

"Hey! I told you it had nothing to do with that!" the princess objected with a suddenly flushed face.

"I didn't see much blood either, if any," Judy piled on with a rare display of sulkiness.

"I told you, it's because it was already torn when I was little! During my horse riding lessons!"

"You also have to consider that Elly is both a tennis ace and practices martial arts," I commented while pouring the drinks. "There were plenty of opportunities for it to happen."

"I know, but it still feels unfair," my dearest assistant continued to grumble while nibbling on a corner of her fried cheese sandwich.

"Don't worry! I'm sure it's going to be much better the next time!" the princess did her best to encourage her, and after some consideration, Judy shrugged.

"It wasn't that bad this time either. It stung a little, but I think the mood and adrenaline kept the pain at bay."

"About damn time those darned hormones did something useful," I jested before placing two large glasses in front of the girls, plus a single white pill. Judy glanced up at me, so I uttered a simple, "Painkiller."

Her eyes shook for a moment, and a curt "Thanks," later she popped it into her mouth, teasing a chuckle out of the princess in the process.

"I'm glad to hear you could still enjoy yourself," Elly squeezed out between two giggles, and the other girl imperceptibly frowned at once.

"In a manner of speaking," she admitted, followed by the barest hint of a sigh. "I might have enjoyed myself more if I didn't go first and had more time to prepare myself..."

"I liked it a lot!" Elly declared in turn, with a beaming smile. "It was fun!"

I could swear I could hear some complaints whispered under a certain Dormouse's breath, but before I could pay any proper attention to the words, our eyes met.

"What about you, Chief?"

"What about me?" I blurted out in surprise, frozen on the spot just as I was about to sit down.

"How was it for you?"

Elly's eyes lit up at once as well.

"I'm curious too! Did it feel good?"

It was around this point I managed to recover my wits, but before giving an answer, I took a seat and grabbed my glass first. A few gulps later I set it onto the table again, and told them, "Of course it did. A guy cannot 'release' without it feeling good."

"That's just physiology," Judy dismissed my answer.

"Then I have no idea what you mean by the question."

"I'm asking if you had any reaction to our last night other than the physiological," Judy clarified without making anything clearer. It probably showed on my face, as she shook her head and tried again. "Taking me as an example, while it did hurt at the beginning, I still felt happy and comfortable because I was with you. I'm talking about that kind of thing."

"I think I get you," I responded, only to then fall silent while I tried to put my thoughts into words. "It... certainly felt pleasurable, and pretty cozy, but if I had to describe it in one or two words, I'd call it intimate. No, wait. Unexpectedly intimate."

"Unexpectedly?" Elly echoed me and cocked her head to the side. "I kind of see what you mean, but what was unexpected about it?"

"It's hard to say," I admitted a tad sheepishly. "I suppose I should have expected it, considering it's a sex we're talking about, but it still surprised me. After all the cuddling we've done, I didn't think getting close like that would feel so different."

"Of course it felt different," Judy suddenly declared in a serious tone made slightly harder to take at face value by the piece of egg white dangling from her raised fork. "We weren't just regular close, we were about minus twenty-five centimeters close."

It took me a moment to figure out what she was getting at, and during that brief pause, a lobster-red princess beat me to the punch.

"I... I think you are overstating things a little... I think it was closer to twenty-ish. I think."

"I suppose it might have felt bigger to me at the time, and I admit I couldn't take a good look in the dark. Chief? What are the official measurements?"

"... How the heck should I know?"

"It's part of your anatomy," Judy pointed out, drawing a huff out of me.

"So? Why would I ever try to measure something like that?"

"So you've never done it?" I shook my head, and my dear assistant's eyes instantly jumped over to the other girl at the table. "Elly, please get a ruler. The big one."

"... You can't be serious."

"Hush, Chief. It's for science."

"Yes. Science," Elly repeated after her with an expression that constantly hovered between shy and excited. "But... Where can I find a ruler?"

"Check the kitchen. It has everything," came the answer from my dear assistant, and by this point, I was actively massaging my temple.

"Dormouse, do you seriously want to do this right now?"

"Why not? It's Sunday."

"Sure, but aren't you still hurting?"

"Don't worry. There are many positions that don't require direct penetration."

I raised a hand to object, but then Elly abruptly exclaimed, "Hey, I found one! This kitchen really does have everything!", so I redirected it into a facepalm.

"Can we at least have breakfast first?"

"Sure," Judy really agreed with me and waited for the princess to return to her seat before adding, "Winter break starts tomorrow, and the tournament won't start until after the holiday. We have all the time in the world to experiment, there's no need to rush."

"Speaking of experimenting, how about we try another bottle today? The salted caramel one was pretty nice," Elly chimed in, and my other girlfriend hummed in approval.

As for me, I proceeded to calmly, if a little mechanically, stuff my face with my lukewarm meal, all the while wondering just what kind of Pandora's Box I'd opened last night...