The Simulacrum

"Leo! I think they're done!" my sister announced without looking away from the front window.

She, along with the tiny miko, was glued to it since the early morning, when the repair crew arrived to fix the damage done to the utility pole in front of our house. The experience was apparently really novel for both of them, as they watched them do their job like it was magic. Though again, maybe from the point of view of a person of magical persuasion, comparatively more mundane things like this were really intriguing.

Speaking of the repairmen, they were surprisingly efficient, and even though it was still barely past nine in the morning, they already replaced the whole pole and reattached all the cables. We still didn't have electricity yet, though I figured that was probably because they turned off the power in the whole neighborhood before they started working. Or at least I hoped so, because as silly as this world could occasionally make placeholders behave, I sincerely doubted they'd work with live wires.

That said, the pole and the wires were the only two things they had to deal with, as the ninja maids apparently moonlighted as a road repair crew as well, and by the time we got up in the morning, they erased all the other collateral damage that my over-eager self-appointed retainer did to the street. This, of course, raised a single question (well, okay, it technically raised a lot of them, but we kind of already got used to weird stuff like this just happening overnight), namely why the Simulacrum didn't take care of the pole the same way? Was it because it was a more complex task? Or maybe because Snowy called the utility company last evening, and so the world already poofed the repairmen into existence in response? And if so, what are these highly trained professionals going to do with the rest of their lives in this impeccably new and immaculate world, without anything else to fix?

I'm not going to lie, I was half-tempted to go outside and tag them for Far Sight just out of curiosity, but I was already more than a little overwhelmed by the number of people I had to keep track of on a daily basis, so I quickly exiled all such capricious ideas from my mind and focused on the inside of my house instead.

"Are we ready to go yet?"

Elly's statement wasn't aimed at anyone in particular, yet it immediately triggered a small frenzy in the other three girls in the room.

"Just a moment, I still need to fix my hair," Judy noted while using a hand-held mirror to take multiple looks at her new hair accessory.

"I'll get my purse," Snowy said next, and a moment later she was already rushing up the stairs.

"I'm ready to go, Elly-ue!" Ichiko declared in turn, earning her a frown from me.

"No, you're not. Even if you don't have a winter coat, at least put on an extra hoodie or something," I told her, prompting the little miko to glance down at her not-at-all winter-ready apparel.

"Should I ask Snowy-ue for a spare?" she inquired, and I gave her a nod in response, at which point she skipped up the stairs as well.

I let out a long breath and took a sip from my trusty mug. Judy was in a good mood this morning, so she prepared one of her Annoying Butler™ brand teas for me, and I was still in the middle of savoring it when the two younger girls returned to the living room. Before they could go any further though, I gestured for them to come over to my side first, much to my already fully dressed draconic girlfriend's thinly veiled chagrin.

I pretended I didn't see it, and instead I put my mug down and took out my wallet. Long story short, after receiving their anniversary gifts yesterday, the girls insisted that they'd get me something in return as well. I wasn't really in the mood to argue, so I left it up to them, but then Snowy reminded us that if we went shopping, we should buy some winter clothes for Ichiko while we're at it, so before I knew it, things slowly escalated into a full shopping trip. One where I couldn't participate because it would've ruined the surprise.

Anyhow, since Snowy was also going along, I figured it was my brotherly duty to take care of her expenses, so after some consideration, I handed her a couple of Jen bills in the company of the words, "Here's your allowance for this month, these are the funds for Ichiko's new clothes, and finally, this is just a bit of extra you can use to buy whatever you want."

"That's a lot of money!" the foxy miko exclaimed while peeking at the notes in Snowy's hand. My little sister, on the other hand, was slightly less enthusiastic.

"What should I do with the change?"

"You keep it, obviously," I told her with my patently Big Brotherly Smile 1.2. "Just make sure you spend it responsibly."

Snowy remained still for a beat, but then she suddenly opened her arms wide and gave me a big, if somewhat awkward, bear hug.

"Thanks, Leo! You're the best!"

"You're welcome."

Following our exchange, Elly pointedly cleared her throat and pointed at the clock on the wall. I didn't know why; I couldn't remember them even agreeing on a time to leave, nor would the shops close down any time soon. Maybe she just really wanted to go shopping? Either way, before Snowy left for the entryway, I stopped her again and firmly requested, "Please repeat the protocol in case the Knight girl shows up while you're out in the city."

She froze in her tracks for a second, but then she quickly collected her thoughts and told me, "Don't engage in combat, try to stay in populated areas where she can't start a fight, use the emergency app and wait for you to come over, and in the meantime annoy her with Monty Python references."

Her voice was a little mechanical, but it was only to be expected considering I made her memorize that sentence word for word. I rewarded her by lightly tousling the top of her head, and telling her, "Good. Don't stress too much about her though, and try to have fun."

"We'll do!" Ichiko replied in her stead, but then Snowy also agreed with a nod.

By this point even Judy looked a little impatient, so I let them go… and then it turned out that the reason why Judy was tapping her foot against the floor wasn't because she wanted to get going, but because she wanted to take their place in front of me.

"Chief, how do I look?"

It was obvious that she was asking about her bow, so this time I dusted out my Caring Boyfriendly Smile 2.1 instead and told her, "Pretty cute, I'd say."

My dear assistant let out a satisfied noise, followed by the declaration, "I'll use this opportunity to buy some more accessories. I'm going to reinvent myself as a main character."

"You really don't have to though," I responded with my mouth widening even further. "You're already a main character in my life, and the protagonist of your own."

"It can't hurt to try. In fact, I should've done this a long time ago. Imagine how much character development I could've experienced if I got a hairclip before our first date."

"I don't think you need it though; I already love you the way you are."

Judy remained quiet for a moment, but then she cocked her head to the side a little and muttered something along the lines of, "This is more effective than I thought it would be."

"… What are you talking about?"

"The bow," she responded, and she even pointed at the back of her head for further emphasis. "You never said sappy, romantic things like that until I wore it. It's unexpectedly powerful."

I could barely stop my eyes from rolling, but before I could say anything in response, Elly came over and interrupted our talk by asking, "I thought Leo was already quite romantic lately, wasn't he?"

Huh. I expected that she'd complain about us holding everyone up, but apparently the opportunity to talk about romance overwrote such concerns.

"Of course he was romantic with you. You already had a unique hairstyle," Judy declared with a confident huff. "For me, this is all new."

"No, it's not, and please stop being meta for five seconds," I chided my girlfriend, following which I took out a 50 Jen bill and handed it to her. She looked a little baffled for the moment, so I leaned closer and whispered directly into her ear. "In case you really find a cute accessory and you want to buy it. I don't want anyone to think I'm standing in the way of your character development."

After saying so, I gave her a playful wink, and then followed it up by planting a kiss on her forehead. She remained silent for a while once again, after which she turned to Elly.

"You see? I'm still not used to him acting like this. It's the power of the hair accessories."

"I'm fairly sure Leo's been acting romantic like that ever since we started going out," Elly whispered in response, yet somehow even she sounded unsure of her words. More importantly though, I felt that this conversation was going in circles, so I got her attention by grabbing hold of her hand.

"I'm not going to give you an allowance, because you probably have more money on you than I do, so you have to do with this," I told my currently somewhat dazed, girlfriend and punctuated my words with another kiss, this time on the lips. After the first surprise, Elly reflexively wanted to move on to the tongue-stuff (we've been practicing last night), but I retreated before we would make Snowy and Ichiko uncomfortable… But then again, the little miko was still in the process of putting on her borrowed coat and was paying little attention to us, while my sister was probably more knowledgeable about these things than the three of us combined, so maybe it was a moot point to begin with.

Anyhow, once everyone got ready, I bid them farewell at the main entrance (which included handing out two more goodbye-kisses), and the four of them left in high spirits. Once they were out of sight, I returned to the living room and picked up my mug. It cooled off a bit already, and to be honest, I was starting to miss the central heating. My home was well-insulated, but it was mid-November already, the weather outside was pretty chilly, and we had no heating since last afternoon, so the room temperature was getting a little low for my liking.

I was just about to head upstairs to put on another sweater when I was startled by the familiar sound of the furnace kicking in downstairs, and a quick glance at the thermostat told me the power was already back. I had to admit, that was pretty quick, but I definitely wasn't complaining. After turning up the heating, I walked upstairs anyway and stopped in front of my PC. After it booted up, I met another pleasant surprise: the internet was also working. Since it was relying on the same pole, I expected that after the utility company fixed the electricity, I'd have to wait for a while for the internet provider to fix their part, but things were already working fine. Neat.

Well, there went my plan to spend the day Far Sight spying on people; since I had internet, now I had more important things to take care of first. As such, I took a seat in front of the PC, opened my browser with the built-in VPN, and immediately checked the Celestial Hub. I went through the usual steps: first I checked if I had any PMs, then I quickly skimmed the new reports related to the island, then the forums for any new and/or interesting topics, and once I was done with that, I opened my own super-secret file and checked for any development.

According to the latest changes, the Celestial healer was already on Critias, but they were laying low because of the lockdown. It appears that they smuggled themselves onto the island by getting air-dropped from a commercial flight and using a parachute to land before they 'donned a disguise to mingle with the natives'. I had to give it to them; so far this was the closest thing to an actual spy movie development the Celestial Intelligence Network produced since I first started perusing the Hub. Anyhow, I made a mental note about the healer and that I should expect a visit one of these days, and then finally moved on to the main topic I had in mind.

Following last night's revelation, I realized that pulling the talking sword, while narratively incongruous and more than a little baffling, might not have been such a terrible development after all. I focused so much on how clichéd it was and how it would affect Josh's future prospects as a protagonist that I nearly skimmed over its primary role in the story: it was a MacGuffin that came with an instant leadership position over the other Entitled Knights.

Now, to be perfectly honest, under normal circumstances I wouldn't even consider such a thing, as I still wasn't entirely at peace with how I was slowly getting pigeonholed into a leadership position not only by my friends, but even the Fauns and an entire clan of ninjas. However, this particular position came with one extremely important perk: it gave me an opportunity to subvert the Knights and possibly make them stop harassing my girlfriend and her family, which was the most crucial step in my plan to help her achieve her dream of becoming a professional metal singer.

In the past, I had a couple of vague plans formulated to achieve that goal already, but those all revolved around ideas for permanently removing the Knights from the picture. I've taken that as a premise because, considering the bad blood between them and the Draconians, I couldn't think of a peaceful resolution. Even my most 'diplomatic' plan involved beating the Knights up and then using my Phantom Limbs to break all their enchanted gear so that they wouldn't be able to bounce back, but now that I had an alternative, it was worth giving it a try. Not to mention, it would serve as a giant middle finger to the Narrative and its arcs or routes or what have you, and if Judy's theory was correct, we might even see some direct pushback that could help us figure out what makes 'the plot' tick.

Long story short, I decided to give this a shot, but before that, I really needed to brush up my knowledge on the Knights, and so I dived headlong into the Celestial Hub's database for answers, using Judy's notes on the topic as a guideline for search terms. I did this for over an hour and I was… less than successful.

Put simply, I couldn't find anything I didn't already know. They had enchanted gear, they were the arch-enemies of the Draconians, and they had oaths. There were a few details about the Entitled Knights and their current operations, but I was already well aware of those things. In retrospect, it kind of made sense that there would be little info on the history and internal workings of these guys; as far as I could gather, the Knights were something of a black-ops by the Celestial Intelligence Network, though I figured they were called something else back in the day.

They were supposed to be disposable pawns in their power games and operating under plausible deniability, so most of the info on them was generic stuff you could find anywhere else, with only some of the most highly classified files hinting at their origins. Hell, probably even I wouldn't know about this if I didn't stumble upon a file very early on that was discussing the origins of the Knights' weapons and how they were made by Celestial craftsmen, and I found that just by chance. Though again, maybe there were more such files on the Hub, but the indexing still left a lot to be desired, so unless I resolved myself to start randomly opening old files just to check if they had anything to do with them, I doubted I'd chance upon another such lucky break.

By the way, I looked up the aforementioned file again after being reminded of it, and while it detailed a couple of weapons, there was nothing in it about the Excalibur-expy hidden in the secret base's storage. I did, however, find a description that matched the gear of Ms. Unicorn, so I committed those to memory. Apparently the Unicorn Knight was specialized in speed and countering various forms of magic, including combat spells and wards. Unfortunately, I couldn't find any info about what the Lion Knight was supposed to be good at, so I decided my specialization was probably refuge in audacity and breaking the rules of the universe. Jokes aside, I figured I'd have to ask the talking sword about this. Let's just hope it was actually knowledgeable about these things.

Moving on, I continued to scan the Hub for any worthwhile morsels of information on the Knights, but to little apparent avail. I was just about to log out and use one of my sock-puppets to ask in the forums when I was unexpectedly startled by a loud ringing noise. For a long second I could only blink in confusion, but then I managed to connect the dots and I immediately let out a breath that was halfway between expectant and exasperated. Just the other day, Snowy told me that she added an extra function to her wards, where they would notify the people in the house when they repelled someone. She apparently did so after that one time Rinne tried to come over and was stuck outside for half an hour because she kept bouncing off the wards. Sometimes I couldn't help but wonder if it really was a bug, or my sister was playing a mean prank on her.

But back to the warning bells. Honestly speaking, I was half-expecting that something like this would happen. Since the girls left the house, I imagined there was a fifty-fifty chance that Ms. Unicorn would either harass them, or she'd try to make contact with me again. Because of this, I was startled by the sound telling me about a newcomer trying to cross the wards, but I wasn't surprised. No, that happened when I glanced out the window. I took a second look, just to be sure, but once I was one hundred percent certain that I wasn't seeing things, I let out another sigh, this one fully exasperated, and turned off my PC. Once I was sure it was offline, I quickly straightened my clothes, and just as I was done, I could already hear the sound of the doorbell ringing.

I made my way down the stairs, across the living room, and then took a deep breath just before I reached for the doorknob.

"Ah. Hello, Leonard!"

The moment I opened the door, I was greeted by a certain hapless Celestial. He was dressed casually, at least as much as the weather allowed, and whether by chance or design, he had a couple of tufts of his sandy blonde hair sticking out from under his brown knit beany. Honestly speaking, the guy was pretty much a textbook example of the awkward, goofy bishounen archetype. He probably used that uselessly handsome face of his to get into the good graces of Ammy too.

More importantly, behind him on the sidewalk stood a tall, wiry man dressed in a light brown trench coat and a matching fedora. I've no idea what he was thinking, but he looked conspicuous as hell. Our eyes met, and I could finally take a better look at his face. He had a narrow head, with a prominent hawk nose, and both his brown eyes and his cheeks were a little sunken, giving his face an overall 'angular' feel. He had a cigarette hanging in the corner of his mouth, and he would've looked just a bit menacing if not for the red, swollen spot on his forehead, no doubt the end result of walking headlong into Snowy's wards.

I glanced back at the awkwardly fidgeting Mike, and the moment he noticed he had my attention, he hastily sputtered out, "There seems to be some kind of problem and we can't come closer to your house. I mean, I can come closer, but he can't and… erm… Wait, let me introduce him first. I suppose I should've started with that, but I was really surprised when he—"

At this point I decided to ignore the guy and promptly faced the middle-aged man cosplaying as a noir private eye again.

"Optio Arpachshad Jaacobah from CIEL, if I'm not mistaken," I greeted the man with a small nod, which he immediately returned without even flinching.

"That's me," the man stated in a voice that sounded like auditory sandpaper. "And you're Leonard Dunning, also known as the Chimera Slayer of Critias."

"Among other things," I answered with the absolute barest minimum of courtesy. Here's the meta question of the day: did this guy show up at my doorstep because I just checked the Hub and learned of his arrival, or did I get hit by the nebulous 'narrative influence' to check the Hub in preparation of his arrival? Alternatively, was this a meta-thing, or was I getting paranoid? It annoyed me to no end that, due to our lack of fundamental understanding of what made the Simulacrum do its thing, I had literally no way to tell, so in the end I let out a long sigh and, still ignoring the increasingly more perplexed Michael, and stepped out of the way. "Please come in, and don't mind the wards. I imagine you're here to talk business."

"Indeed," the sullen man confirmed, casually threw away his half-finished smoke, and then walked in like he owned the place while also ignoring Mike in the process. At last, the hapless Celestial also came inside, and as I closed the door, I couldn't help but wonder if it would've been better or worse if Ms. Unicorn showed up instead…

"Your home is commendably inconspicuous," my slightly unwanted guest stated as we walked into the living room. I was about ninety percent sure it was a compliment, but I couldn't be sure. I had a hard time reading the guy.

He already peeled himself out of his trench coat, and he was wearing a real, authentic, one hundred percent genuine tux under it, complete with a little white flower on his lapel. Without his hat, I could also take a better look at him, and while he had a fairly boring crew cut, he had a small bare streak running from his left temple, plus a similar gap in his eyebrow. Probably the result of a long scar.

"We should sit there," Mike proposed while pointing at the usual spots around the coffee table. He wasn't nearly as nervous as the last time he was here, but I doubt anyone would mistake him for the heavenly Buddha any time soon.

I gestured for them to go ahead, and a few seconds later we were already seated on the couch and my favorite chair, respectively.

"Let's not mince words, Mr. Dunning. Time's a precious commodity, and it shouldn't be wasted," the middle-aged Celestial agent stated in a dryly raspy voice, and I couldn't agree more with his sentiment if I tried.

"You took the words right out of my mouth," I told him, at which point he linked his fingers in his lap. Hey! That's my 'devious mastermind' pose! I didn't remember giving him permission to use it… but then again, my conscience wasn't entirely spotless when it came to borrowing intellectual property like that, so I decided to let it slide for now.

"I'm here because I was told you suffered an internal injury. I owe the boy's father a favor, so came to take a look at you. If you injury can be treated, I'll give you my best effort. I won't make any further promises."

"Yes. Mister Jaacobah is a professional, but there are limits to what can be done so long after the fact," Mike added in a quiet voice, and the fact that they were already tempering my expectations didn't bode well.

Still, as much as I wanted to avoid getting directly entangled with the Celestials without the Hub and the identity of Admin serving as a buffer, there was a good chance that if I didn't take this opportunity, it would take ages until I can get my hands on a neutral healer, especially considering how hard these guys worked to sabotage them. Ah, speaking of which…

"Well, my hand wouldn't need healing 'so long after the fact' if your people stopped blocking every other healer coming to the island."

My jab didn't even rattle the man in front of me, as he simply stated, "I'm not involved in such operations, and therefore I won't comment on the validity of your allegations. So, do you want me to take a look at your injury or not?"

"Since you came all this way, I figure you might as well do that much," I replied just a tad flatly, and I was just about to get up and walk over when the Celestial agent beat me to the punch and rose to his feet first.

He made his way over to my side and, to my surprise, he retrieved a small wooden box from his pocket. It contained a softly glowing monocle that looked shockingly similar to the one the school nurse used to examine my hand a while back. I thought it was just a weird, slightly anachronistic magical tool, but by the looks of it, it might be a piece of standard examination equipment.

This was followed up by another surprise as the man, after slowly looking me over from head to toe with his monocle, took my injured hand without any reservations, automatically marking himself in the process. I had to give it to him; he was efficient in more ways than one.

Anyhow, he spent several seconds inspecting my hand, going as far as to manipulate my fingers in a manner that was once again very similar to the way Peabody examined it in the past. He occasionally let out a small huff or a curious grunt, culminating in the words, "This is one of the worst cases of mana burn I've seen in my career. Who did first aid on it?"

"It was probably little Annie," Mike supplied the answer, and when he received a disapproving frown from the man in return, he hastily added, "I mean, one of our assets on the island. She's a distant relative of mine and specializes in healing hymns."

"Is that so," the morose agent muttered without paying much attention to his companion's words and he continued to carefully but firmly manipulate my fingers one at a time. "It's a competent job. Could've been done better, but I imagine she didn't have any of the required instruments at hand. If she was serving under me, I'd give this a passing grade."

"I'll tell her the next time I meet her," the blonde Celestial noted with a smile that looked genuine enough that it made me believe that he honestly thought Angie will be stoked by the idea of getting complimented in such a manner.

Anyhow, after spending a few more minutes observing my hand, the middle-aged Celestial wordlessly put his monocle away and returned to his seat, his brows thoughtfully furrowed as if he was considering a really hard math problem.

"Let me be straightforward, Mr. Dunning: your hand is an abject wreck. It's not beyond salvation by any means, but it will be a difficult job. I can offer you two options on how we can proceed." At this point he fell silent for several seconds, apparently waiting for a reaction, and when I gestured for him to continue, he told me, "The first option is the traditional way. It would necessitate multiple sessions to slowly rebuild the damage from the inside step by step and then synchronize your corporeal body with your astral body. It's a long and painful process that will require several months even under optimal circumstances, and the rehabilitation and recovery may take years, and even after that, you will—"

"I get it," I interrupted by raising a hand. "You've done well to explain the exact procedure we're obviously not going to do, thank you. Now, would you please move on and make your actual sales pitch?"

"Certainly," the man responded without batting an eye. "The second alternative is much more straightforward: by recovering both your physical and your astral body at the same time, it achieves instantaneous synchronization and will allow you to regain your access to your compromised motoric functions as well as the ability to channel mana like before. However, such therapy would require support in the form of a specific catalyst generally only reserved for CIEL operatives and Seraphs. While I could certainly gain access to one such catalyst, I'd have to request it from Central Command, and it would require adequate justification to do so."

"So in other words, you want something in return for your services," I stated, and after a moment of thinking, he shook his head.

"My services are free of charge, as it's a favor I'm working off. As such, I won't charge you for my labor regardless of which option you choose. However, if you wish to gain access to a healing catalyst, you'd need to compensate Celestial Command in return. As an intelligence broker, you should be well acquainted with such trades of equivalent exchange."

"Since you brought that up, I imagine you're not asking more money in return," I ventured an educated guess, and the thin-faced Celestial confirmed it with a nod.

"Indeed. Command in general, and the Celestial Intelligence Division in particular, is looking for a specific piece of information you should be able to provide us."

For a moment I considered how I should respond to that, but I figured I had little to lose at this point, so I went ahead and asked, "What exactly do you want from me?"

"Over the past weeks, the dragonbloods of various lineages launched numerous successful assaults on the hideouts and safe houses of the Oathbreakers," he stated in a bit of a non-sequitur, but I was pretty sure he was building up to something, so I once again gestured for him to keep going. "This happened just a short while after you, an up and coming information broker, entered into the relationship with the heiress of the dragonblood clan currently residing on the island, and said attacks were carried out by the clan's known associates."

"I thought you didn't want to mince words during this meeting," I pointed out just a touch impatiently, and he softly cleared his throat in return.

"My apologies. The point that I was getting at is as follows: all of the aforementioned Oathbreaker strongholds were ones we already recorded in our database. There were no attacks on bases of operations we weren't already aware of, and the assault happened after you made contact with the dragonbloods. This is, of course, only conjecture, so let me ask you this: were you the one who provided them with intelligence on the Oathbreakers?"

We locked gazes for a long moment, and I spent that time considering my options, but since he said that much, I was almost entirely sure he already knew the answer to the question and was only testing me. As such, I didn't really have a choice but to tell him, "Yes, as a matter of fact, I did."

"We presumed as much," my guest told me without a single crack on his poker face, and then he immediately proceeded to drop a bombshell as casually as one would make small talk about the weather. "In that case, the terms of our arrangement will be self-explanatory. In exchange for providing you with the catalyst and the expertise needed to repair your damaged hand, the Celestial Intelligence Division wants the identity of the Celestial informant who sold you classified intel on the Oathbreakers and their operations."

His words were followed by a very long, deafeningly silent beat… that would've probably lasted much longer if not for the previously passive Mike nearly falling out of his seat as he defensively raised his arms and exclaimed, "It wasn't me! I swear, I don't even know anything about the Oathbreakers!"

I glanced at the panicking guy, then at my guest again, and I found a sense of camaraderie in his eyes as we both let out a shallow sigh more or less in unison.

"Of course they know it's not you," I told him a tad wearily. "If you were under suspicion, we wouldn't be having this conversation, and you'd be probably already spirited away for interrogation somewhere. Most likely Cairo."

"Oh, so you're also aware of that," the older Celestial noted with mild disinterest, though the small glint in his eyes said otherwise.

"I think at this point everyone knows you have a base there, they just don't act on it because they all think they're the only ones who know and are waiting for the right opportunity," I told him with similarly forced nonchalance. In fact, said 'Cairo' base was part of a long-running Celestial disinformation campaign. It was about creating a few 'secret' bases that would be 'leaked' to the other supernatural power blocs (mainly the Assembly) so that they would focus their attention on them instead of the actual, real operations taking place elsewhere.

"They do? That's troubling news," the Celestial operative told me with perfect seriousness, only to then rapidly switch gears and ask, "In any case, let's return to the identity of your informant. When can we expect your answer?"

"Obviously not right now," I told the man right away. "Reliability and confidentiality are both vitally important in this line of work. I can't just reveal someone's identity on a whim like that."

"A shame, but an answer I expected all the same," my guest responded with exaggerated disappointment before he reached into his pocket and handed me a card over the table. "I'll return once I secured an apartment in the city to start your treatment. In case you change your mind in the meantime, you can contact me using the number on my business card."

"Since when do CIEL operatives have business cards?" I mused aloud as I took a closer look at the piece of laminated paper in my hand. I couldn't see any magical light around it, so it probably wasn't tracked, but I'll have Karukk check it for electronic bugs as well. In fact, once this guy leaves, I'll have the Faun check the whole house, just to be safe. "Is this for a burner phone at least?"

"Naturally," the long-faced man responded with something infinitely approaching yet never reaching a smile, and proceeded to take out a handful of other business cards from his pocket. "I have nine, one for each card."

"That's pretty neat. Do you mind if I borrow that idea?"

"No, of course not. I didn't come up with it in the first place," he told me before he pocketed the cards and rose to his feet. "I believe we've already taken up more of your time than necessary, Mr. Dunning, so I'll take my leave."

Following his prompt, I also stood up and got ready to lead him outside like a good host. Or, at the very least, that was the plan.

"Ah, I'll catch up with you in a moment," Mike suddenly interjected, and seeing the older man's questioning look, he hastily added, "I have something to discuss with Leonard."

The well-dressed Celestial simply shrugged and walked back to the entryway without uttering a single word. I didn't really want to let him out of my sight, but didn't have much of a choice when Mike practically dragged me over so that he could lean closer and whisper, "Listen, Leonard. Can I ask you a favor?"

"Depends," I told him a touch flatly, yet he exhaled a heavy breath like I just took a huge weight off his shoulder.

"So, the thing is, I'm not supposed to tell you this, but Ammy is doing another… um… 'thing' this evening."

"You mean infiltrating Magi property?" I asked for clarification, but he immediately gestured for me to tone it down.

"Yes, that," he whispered, this time even quieter than before, and after glancing over his shoulder once, he quickly continued with, "I was also going to help her out together with Joshua, but since mister Jaacobah is here, I can't. I have to help him find a place to stay, you see. More importantly, I told her that something came up and I cannot go, and I made her promise we would go another day, but she sounded really impatient, so I think she might try and do it without me around."

"And if you were there, it would be safer?" I inquired just to keep the conversation rolling, and the guy instantly flashed me a proud smile, accompanied by the words:

"Yes. I'm seventy percent of the reason why we haven't been caught yet. Well, okay, maybe closer to sixty." He paused here to awkwardly clear his throat, and then he sheepishly amended, "I'm… good with locks."

"… I can't help but remember that I had to rescue you from an actual, locked metal cage not too long ago."

"I mean, magical locks," he clarified with an honest to goodness blush. "You know? Wards and surveillance mystic arts and that kind of stuff?" I nodded to get him moving, and after taking a long breath, he finally blurted out, "So, since I have nobody else to ask, could you, maybe, look after her so that nothing would happen? It would help my peace of mind."

The guy looked both genuine and entirely serious, so after a moment of hesitation, I exhaled a shallow breath and told him, "Sure, I'll keep an eye on her."

"Really? Thanks, pal!"

Before I could respond, the already dressed Celestial operative let out a pointed cough, and Mike immediately jumped back like he just got caught red-handed for shoplifting by a security guard, following which he dashed to the main entrance and began dressing like his life depended on it. I followed after him, though at a considerably more laidback pace, and once I arrived next to the middle-aged man, he immediately offered me a hand.

"I'm awaiting your positive response, Mr. Dunning. We hope this might be the beginning of a fruitful partnership."

I took the hand offered and responded with an equally diplomatic, "I certainly hope we're going to stay on good terms as well."

He let out a grunt that I interpreted as further agreement, and once Mike put on his coat, the two of them bid a not at all teary farewell and finally left the premises. Once that happened, I let out a relieved sigh, which I followed up with rubbing my temple in an onset of metaphorical headaches. So, just to summarize: the Celestials managed to get to me first, and they would withhold on actually healing my hand until I provided them with the name of my Celestial informant. The only issue with that was the minor fact that technically I was the one they were looking for, so this deal literally couldn't work out. Now, I could potentially create a sock-puppet or a fall guy and blame it on them, but it would be risky and not necessarily foolproof. Not to mention, getting directly entangled with the Celestial Intelligence Division was a bad idea on principle.

In the end, I pocketed the business card I received, just in case, but as far as my plans were concerned, I more or less crossed off the Celestials from the possible solutions to my hand injury. To be honest, Abram's proposal to just cut it off and replace it with some kind of Draconian artificial limb sounded more tempting by the minute. I was still pretty attached to my hand though, so for the time being I put the whole topic aside and headed upstairs, turned my PC back on, and once I got my browser up and running, I immediately started my in-depth research into this Jaacobah fellow. I simply couldn't get a read on the guy, which really bothered me, but on the other hand, I didn't get irrationally angry in his presence either, which meant he probably wasn't going to make my life much more complicated.

Like that, time practically flew by, and it was past two in the afternoon when I was jolted out of my work by the sound of a car coming to a stop in front of my yard. I glanced outside, and once I recognized Elly's usual limo, I put the PC into standby mode and quickly made my way downstairs. The four girls left on foot in the morning, so I couldn't help but wonder why they needed a car. It didn't last long.

"Hi, Leo! Please help packing," my draconic girlfriend greeted me the moment I opened the door, and I reflexively took the four bags full of clothes off her hands.

"What's that?" I weakly gestured towards the trunk of the car, where Judy and the chauffeur, a placeholder whose name I couldn't quite remember, were in the process of taking a large box out of the car.

"It's… uu… It's a computer," my sister provided the answer as she came over, and I couldn't help but notice that she was carrying a large, flat cardboard box herself. When she noticed where I was looking, she hugged the box to her chest and weakly told me, "Also, we… bought a graphics tablet. I mean, I bought it with the money you gave me."

"And I bought the computer to go with it," Elly added with a proud little smirk. "And before you ask, it's an investment, so I used company money. Dad agreed too."

"Oh, right. We did talk about something like that a while back…" I mused a little absent-mindedly, but then I was quickly reminded that I should help by my other girlfriend waving at me with 'Leo, please help!' written all over her face, with Ichiko nearly being squashed under another box (probably a monitor) she was carrying, so I quickly put the bags into the living room and returned to provide support.

A short few minutes later everything was successfully hauled into the house, and once we all caught our breaths, I couldn't help but let out a small whistle at the amount of stuff they bought in such a short time. There were several sets of clothes, both for Ichiko and Snowy, some miscellaneous items and random souvenirs, and a full PC complete with a large flat screen monitor and all the required peripherals.

"Uuu… Sorry," my sister immediately apologized the moment she followed my line of sight, and when I turned an uncomprehending glance at her, she hurriedly sputtered, "I-I mean, I originally didn't want to buy it, but then Elly said she'd invest in me, and then we got caught up in the moment, and I didn't even think about where we could put it. I… I never even used a PC outside of school, and I don't even know how to put it together, and…"

Seeing that she would likely keep going for a while if I didn't stop her, I had my hand gently land on the top of her head, and the moment she fell silent I told her, "Well, I guess I better put it together for you and show you the ropes then."

"I don't want to inconvenience you…" Snowy muttered as she averted her eyes, so I rubbed her noggin a little harder and said:

"Come on, sis. This is what big brothers are for. I'll teach you everything you need to know. It's no problem at all."

"Really?"

"Yes, really," I insisted why a well-practiced brotherly smile, and once she was sure she heard it right, Snowy quickly closed in on me and caught me in a hug that was a mirror image of what she did in the morning.

"Thank you, Leo! I love you!"

I was just about to pat her on the head, but her words made me freeze up mid-motion and reflexively send a glance at my assistant. Judy, contrary to my expectations, didn't show any reaction at all. Well, at least until she noticed I was looking at her, at which point she unsubtly rolled her eyes.

"Please, Chief. I'm a changed person now, with my own hair accessory and everything. Did you really think I'd get jealous because your sister said she loves you?"

I almost reflexively nodded, but managed to clamp down on the urge, and we entered into a thankfully brief stalemate broken by my other girlfriend letting out a mirthful little giggle, and Ichiko next to her also followed suit. Once they eased the tension like that, I took the opportunity to pretend that everything was perfectly fine and tousle Snowy's hair for a few seconds before putting my hand onto her shoulder and gently pushing her away.

"Well then, I guess we should move these things into your room."

"I'll help!" the energetic little miko volunteered on the spot and immediately grabbed the biggest and heaviest box.

"Wait, wait! You can't carry that alone!" Snowy exclaimed in a mild panic as she grabbed the other end of the box. Elly picked up the monitor in turn, so by the process of elimination, I had to carry the bags again.

I was still in the process of gathering them when someone tapped me on my shoulder, and when I glanced over it, I realized that with the other girls gone, only Judy and I remained in the living room. She was carrying the electronic drawing board, and once she was sure she had my attention, she firmly stated, "For the record, I want to make sure you understand that only Neige is allowed to say that, and only in a familial sense of the word. If it happens with anyone else other than the three of us, I'm still going to get really mad and I'll probably hate you until the heat death of the universe. Understood?"

"… Yes, perfectly."

"Good."

After stating that, my dearest assistant also headed for the stairs, and I once again had to conclude that, hair accessories or not, the more things change, the more they stay the same…

"Continue as you were," I said offhandedly, and the Fauns (plus Rinne) all nodded in unison and returned to their hand-eye coordination training with renewed vigor. That was, of course, still the code-word for playing air hockey, and the increasingly less annoying huntress integrated into their group well enough where she was invited to 'train' with them as well. Galatea also tried to play the game once, but according to her she needed 'calibrations', so for the time being she was only watching the rest of the group from the sidelines. As for Fred, he still had some reservations about the Fauns, and last time I checked, he was cooped up in his workshop inventing stuff.

But putting my eclectic group of alleged underlings and their hobbies aside, it was getting late, and it was about time I did something productive. Now, I'm not saying that putting my little sister's PC together, hooking it up to the internet, and then marveling as she took to the software and her new drawing tools like a duck to water was wasted time, but it didn't really help with the currently brewing Knight situation or 'move the plot along', as my dear assistant would put it. Speaking of which, after playing around with my girlfriends in the afternoon, I took them home, and only then did I come over to the secret base, where I was roped into a few rounds of 'training' by Karukk and Rinne. However, that was all behind us, so it was time to stop delaying the inevitable.

My destination was the cramped main storage room of the base. It was, over the past couple of weeks, filled up with all kinds of raw materials, tools, and other miscellaneous items by the Fauns. It had old furniture in one corner, spare parts hidden under bags full of dirty smocks, half-empty paint cans, and one side was entirely dominated by the metal bars and welding equipment I bought in preparation for making some impromptu holding cells for potential future guests.

Lost among this random collection odds and ends, in the furthest corner, stood a single, inconspicuous item lazily covered by the green tarp strewn over it. Honestly speaking, I felt a little tense as I walked up to it, but I still pulled the cover off without hesitation… and then I almost put it back on when the sudden bright light made an involuntary hiss escape my mouth.

I rationally knew that the magical glow I was seeing wasn't actual light comprised of actual photons hitting my actual retina, but it didn't help to reign in the impulse to shield my eyes one bit. Mercifully, I was getting really experienced with ignoring things like this, so after a few seconds of concentration, I managed to mostly filter out the eye-watering glow surrounding the fancy sword still embedded in a considerably less fancy stone in front of me.

Caledfwlch, the very literal 'sword in the stone' expy, looked fairly imposing when bathed in the mystic glow around it, but once I forcefully made my brain ignore that, it... remained fairly imposing even without it. I still preferred spears as my weapon of choice, and its cross guard was just a touch too ornate for my liking, but I had to admit that it was still a fine sword.

Now, I could've just grabbed the handle, yank it out of the rock, and then proceed with the interrogation, but I was at least trying to pretend that I was a cautious person every now and then, so instead of that, I gingerly extended one of my Phantom Limbs at the weapon in question and lightly tapped on the blade.

A short yet subjectively pretty long moment later I let out a pent-up breath and clicked my tongue. It was just as I expected: the sword was, without a shadow of a doubt, a plot device easily on the level of the dragon-slaying spear. That wasn't the only trait they shared either. While I could only 'read' the enchantment arrays layered on the weapon, no modifications allowed, they looked about as over-complicated and badly debugged as its pointy stick counterpart, including the copious amounts of superfluous elements existing for the sole purpose of creating various flashy light effects during the sword's intended use.

However, beyond all the similarities, there was one absolutely glaring difference between the two enchanted weapons, and one that I was half-expecting ever since my metaphysical encounter with Onikiri: it had a soul. Or rather something very, very similar. It wasn't inside a protective enclosure, let alone in its own little illusionary pocket dimension, but instead it was woven into the enchantment itself. In fact, on second look it kind of looked like it grew out of the arrays, so maybe it was some kind of emergent effect? Maybe it was originally supposed to be a rudimentary artificial intelligence, but then once it developed over the centuries, the Simulacrum 'acknowledged' it as a character, and it got a soul? Or maybe so long as something was sentient enough, it automatically got a soul assigned to it? I mean, the weapon in front of me was certainly more well-spoken than some placeholders I knew, and I presumed those guys had souls. Probably. I never checked.

It was something I should look into in the future, I concluded, but for the time being, I had bigger fish to fry. Once I finished my cursory analysis of the enchantment, I made note of another commonality between the knightly weapons I've encountered so far: the spear, Mr. Minotaur's sword, my own 'Lion Knight' sword, and now even Caledfwlch had a set of 'connectors', for the lack of better words. Originally I figured they existed to literally connect them to the interlocking arrays of the Knight's armor, but while the rest of the weapons had identical 'plugs', the ones on this sword were functionally the same, yet subtly different in a way I couldn't pinpoint, because plot device and no tinkering allowed and such.

I had two theories at the moment: either the rest of the Knights' equipment was designed to be modular and used the supernatural equivalent of a USB port across all of them, while this blade was designed to be used with one particular armor set in mind, or it had something to do with the whole 'King of Knights' thing. My money was on the latter, but with my track record, I could be completely mistaken and it was something completely different. I wasn't giving any silly hypothetical examples though, because the world might just make them true just to mess with me.

That said, I figured I stalled long enough. By the looks of it, the sword was safe to use, so it was high time I got around to interrogating it. I flexed the fingers on my good left hand, reached out, and simply yanked the sword out of its lithic holder without any effort.

I was half expecting that it would start yelling at me like the last time I grabbed it, but even as I held the blade at eye level, the sword remained suspiciously silent. I waited for a few seconds, but when there was still no reaction, I waved the blade back and forth to wake it up. Just a little.

"Hello? Anybody home?"

"{Stop shaking me!}" the fancy sword finally called out, and so I did and raised it to eye level again. "{What have I done to deserve such disrespect? What kind of dark era have I awakened to?}"

The voice in my head sounded strangely androgynous, even through all the booming and echoing post-processing effects, and it had a strange cadence to it that wasn't really an accent, but it was still very noticeable. It was also really mopey, and if it was a human, I imagined it would be sulking in a corner while holding onto their legs in the fetal position.

"It's not that dark, really," I noted to ease into the conversation, but when I got no answer, I decided to be just a little bit more courteous. It was worth a try. "I think we've got off on the wrong foot, so let's start from the beginning. I'm Leonard Dunning, and I was the one who pulled you the last time."

"{And then you put me back,}" the sword's dry words echoed in my head, and if it had brows, I was sure it would've been giving me the grandfather of all glares. "{Since we're having this conversation, I presume you changed your mind.}"

"You could certainly say that," responded, and the sword let out an honest to goodness sigh in response to my words. How can a sword even sigh? Swords don't have lungs. That's just silly.

While I internally grumbled, the blade in question let out another noise that gave me the mental image of an old man shaking his head.

"{To think that I'd meet someone willfully refusing to take up the mantle. I've awoken in a truly dark time.}"

"There's no need to be so melodramatic about it. In retrospect, my reaction at the time might've been a little... rash. After some further consideration, I decided we could at least have a talk, like responsible adults, and reach a compromise."

"{You talk of compromise. Are you still unwilling to take up the mantle, young knight?}"

"It's a bit complicated, but before we discuss things, I'd like to sit down." Saying so, I picked a spot next to the class rep's secret box she entrusted me with, and once I was seated, I spoke up again with, "So, Cal? By that way, do you mind if I call you Cal? Caledfwlch is a mouthful."

"{Do as you wish,}" it responded a tad wearily, but it didn't mean I wouldn't take it on its word.

Also, wow. Contrary to how it sounded, the sword was surprisingly agreeable. I expected at least five minutes of arguing about the name issue, so I was so pleasantly surprised I was almost disappointed. But putting my conflicting feelings aside, I quickly cleared my throat and addressed the weapon in my hand again.

"So, Cal. I have a bunch of questions I'd like to ask you, if you don't mind. First and foremost: by pulling you from the rock over there, I'm now the 'King of Knights', right?"

"{That's correct,}" the sword confirmed with a somewhat perplexed voice.

"Good. Does that mean that now I'm the leader of the Knights of the exasperatingly long name?"

"{If you mean the Brotherhood, then yes?}" it answered me, this time audibly confused. "{Why do you ask something so obvious?}"

"Long story short, I have amnesia," I told it without any reservations, only to meet with an even more baffled silence.

"{I've never heard of such a disease. Is it a new plague of some kind?}"

"No, it means I've lost my memories," I clarified, and the blade in my hand let out a long 'Ooooh' in realization. "That's why I want you to tell me everything you know. How this whole 'King' business works, exactly how much authority I have now, what are the Oaths and what do they do, these kinds of things."

The sword remained conspicuously silent for a while, but then it asked, "{Young knight, why don't you ask your fellow brothers and sisters about these things?}"

"Because of certain circumstances, I can't," I told it in the company of a shallow sigh. I wanted to leave this for later, but I might as well rip off the band-aid right away and get it over with. "You see, I can't really talk with them, because I'm dating a Draconian at the moment, and so I don't think they would be open to a discussion."

My explanation was followed by another expected silence, yet it culminated in an unexpected question.

"{I'm afraid I'm unfamiliar with the term. Does it mean you're counting his days? Are you stalking him in secret and waiting for the opportunity to strike?}"

"No-no, nothing of the like. It's a she, and I'm... well, in short, we're lovers."

"{What!?}" Cal suddenly exclaimed so hard in my head I almost dropped the sword in surprise. "{A Knight of the Brotherhood engaged to one of the dragonbloods?! There should be a limit to the deviancy of even the darkest of days!}"

"I told you to stop being so melodramatic. Also, we're not engaged, at least not on paper, and it's kind of beside the point anyway, now that I think about it. Listen, Cal. The point is that I'm planning to broker a peace treaty between the Knights and the Draconians, because this whole feud is silly and counter-productive. I think I have enough clout to get the latter to the table, but I need to know if being this King of Knights thing would allow me to make the other Knights stand down and listen to reason."

"{It's the height of foolishness, young knight! You must reconsider!}"

"I'm not reconsidering anything until you give me a straight answer," I told it in a firm voice, and after a long second of tension, the sword let out a decidedly defeated sigh.

"{By the laws of the Brotherhood and its Oaths, you certainly have the authority to make such a demand. However, every single member of the Brotherhood has the right to challenge another to Arbitration if they feel their differences are irreconcilable.}"

"Hold on. What's that?" I interrupted with a frown. "What's an 'Arbitration'?"

Cal made a noise that sounded like it couldn't believe it had to explain this to someone, but obediently did so anyway.

"{An Arbitration is a duel held in front of one's peers, so that disputes can be resolved in a swift and unbiased manner. Even as the King, you're not absolved of such laws, so I'm afraid that if you tried to use your newfound authority to enforce something so preposterous, you'd have to best your fellow brothers and sisters in combat first. In your current state, it would be a foolish thing to attempt.}"

"My current— You can tell that I'm injured?" I blurted out in surprise, and I was given an almost smug huff in return.

"{Of course I can. The fates chose you as my wielder, so as long as we're connected, I can assess your condition and help maintain it.}" The suddenly smug sword paused for a moment, then added, in a considerably less confident voice, "{Unfortunately, your injured hand may take a long time to heal, even with my help.}"

"Wait, hold on! One thing at a time!" I interjected it with a frown. "Does that mean you can heal my hand?"

"{Certainly,}" the sword declared, with confidence surging in its voice once again. "{The power of regeneration is but one of the powers I bestow upon my wielder. In the case of an injury like yours however, it may take months to fully recover.}"

"That's... still better than my other prospects," I muttered with barely disguised relief, but then I followed it up with the important question of, "And you say my hand can be healed just by 'being connected'? As in, just by holding you like this? I don't have to do anything beyond that?"

To punctuate the point, I waved the sword around once again, though this time it didn't seem to mind.

"{No. The moment you retrieved me from my pedestal, we were bonded for life. However, direct contact does help the process.}"

"Bonded for life," I mirrored his words a tad more flatly, and if Cal had a head, I had a feeling it would be nodding.

"{Yes. It was formed between you and me, and it will last until the day you perish.}"

"Okay, so it's like a contract of some sort? And for life? You'd think there would be at least a question for confirmation before something like this," I grumbled, and for a moment I could once again feel a palpable sense of confusion coming from the blade in my hand.

"{But you have agreed the day you took your Oaths, young knight. How else would you— Oh, that's right. You suffer from lost memories. I don't sense any head injuries though, so could it be a curse?}"

"No, it's... kind of difficult to fully explain, but more importantly, let's back-track a little. What was that part about the Oaths?"

The sword let out a gratingly long sigh, followed by a barely audible whisper of 'dark times'. I had no idea how a sword directly talking into my head could whisper, but apparently it could.

"{Since you lost your memories, I believe it would be best if I explained everything from the very beginning.}"

"Great idea! Can you start with—?" I began, only to get interrupted when the door to the storeroom opened and Karukk poked his head in.

"[Hey, Boss?]"

"{Look out, young knight! A beast of the Abyss! To arms!}"

I pointedly ignored the suddenly fired-up sword in my hand and turned to the Faun with the words, "Yes. Is there a problem?"

"[No, not a problem. The General just told me to ask you if you're eating with us, because if you do, then he's going to need more bratwurst for the barbecue.]"

My gut reaction was to ask how he wanted to have a barbecue underground, but I swallowed it down because the sword was still screaming at me, so instead I told him, "I didn't plan to, but tell him that if there are any leftovers, then I'll take a taster."

My answer was apparently satisfying enough, as Karukk flashed a smile, did a regulation salute, and then left the room, closing the door behind him in the process.

"{Young knight! Why did you converse with the creature?!}"

I ignored the overly excited blade's accusatory tone, and simply told him, "His name is Karukk, and he's my... well, I guess you could say 'subordinate', but technically he's part of my sister's retinue."

"{Your sister?}" it repeated after me in a daze, so I nodded in the affirmative.

"She's the heiress of the Inanna house in the Abyss, or at least used to be, but then stuff happened, and so I adopted her, and the Fauns came with her," I gave my extremely truncated description of the events.

"{There are more of them?! And you did what to her?!}" Cal exclaimed in borderline panic, and I couldn't help but shake my head at it.

"I adopted her. She currently goes by Neige Liliam Inanna-Dunning." I paused for a beat, then added, "I call her Snowy. I'll introduce you after we discussed everything here. Speaking of which, can you please start explaining those Oaths to me? It's getting late."

Cal remained silent for a good while, but then he uttered a defeated, "{I have truly awoken in the darkest of times,}" before, at last, it began its long, expansive, and arguably pretty boring infodump on the inner workings of the Knights.

It was around half past eight in the evening when I reappeared in my living room without even bothering to announce my arrival. I didn't exactly need to either, as the only other person in the room was the unnecessarily energetic little girl glued to the TV. She was watching a nature documentary about meerkats by the looks of it. I could've used my sister as an anchor as well, but she was really immersed while drawing something, and I didn't want to bother her.

Anyhow, I sat down in my usual chair and took another bite out of the ad-hoc hot dog I put together using the barbecued wiener Brang and Rinne made for dinner. Yes, that means they actually managed to start a barbecue party underground, and yes, it was the huntress' idea. That woman was such a glutton I had no idea how she could maintain her figure. It probably had something to do with being a side character or an ex-protagonist or what have you.

"{What?! What happened?! Where are we?! How did we get here?!}" the fussy sword suddenly began to rain questions on me after remaining silent for a surprisingly long time, so I put it in my lap and popped the last bite of the grilled sausage into my mouth.

"It's called Phasing, and it's a thing I do," I explained with my mouth half full, and after swallowing I added, "You'll get used to it."

As for why I still had Cal on me, it was a necessity. Since being in physical contact with the sword helped it heal my injuries faster, if only a little, I had little choice but to keep it around me as much as possible. My fancy new weapon was a little overdramatic at times, but as far as company was concerned, I had worse, and at least Cal was really forthcoming with their answers.

It was around this time that the tiny miko finally registered that I came home, and she instantly sprung to her feet and gave me a bow. She had her hair in twin tails, the result of Judy buying some hair accessories for her as well while they were out shopping, and she wore a loose long-sleeved shirt and baggy sweat pants in her usual red-and-white color scheme.

"Welcome home, ue-sama!" she greeted me, but her eyes were already fixated on the sword in my lap.

"{Is that the sister you spoke of?}" Cal inquired with a tone that was audibly guarded, so I promptly shook my head.

"No, she's not."

"Who are you talking to?" the foxy miko asked as she sidled over to me with a curious glint in her eyes, so I let out a shallow breath and told her:

"This is Cal. It's a sentient sword, and I'll be carrying it around for a while."

"Really? Can he talk? Can he hear me?" the girl perked up, and if she was in her fox form, I was sure she'd be wagging her tail like crazy. When I nodded, she flashed a delighted grin at the blade and introduced herself with, "Hi Cal-san, I'm Ichiko! I can't believe I got to meet another talking sword!"

"{Another?}" said sword echoed in my head, so I figured some more straightforward introductions were in order.

"Yes. She used to be a sword too."

"I got better," Ichiko added in the company of a giggle, but I ignored her for the time being and continued.

"There was a bit of an incident regarding some misunderstandings and magical corruption and a crumbling enchantment, so I had to move her out of her old body and now she's in a Chimera."

"{You moved her out of— Wait, what did you just say? Chimera!? As in, the Chimeric Beasts of the Abyss!?}"

"Yes," I answered with a nod, and Cal fell silent for a while.

"{I... still don't understand. What's the joke?}"

"There's no joke. That's just how things are."

Following my answer, the sword fell silent once again, followed by the words, "{I feel that calling these 'dark times' is just no longer adequate.}"

Needless to say, I completely ignored their grumblings, which wasn't hard considering that Ichiko in front of me was doing her best to gain my attention by giving me the puppy eyes treatment.

"Ue-samaaaa? Can I talk to Cal-san?"

"They can hear you already, but as for actually having a conversation... I'm sorry, but you don't have the ports to connect, and without that, they can't talk to you."

The little miko let out a disappointed noise, and I figured that since the topic came up, it was as good an opportunity as any to summarize what I gleamed from my hours-long discussion with Cal.

First and foremost, my jest about supernatural USB ports turned out to be much more accurate than I could've ever expected. Simply put, the connectors on Knightly equipment were precisely that, but contrary to my expectations, they didn't connect to the armors but directly to the wielding Knight. However, as with most connectors, you needed both a plug and a receptacle, and the latter turned out to be the Oaths themselves.

Let's backtrack a little: according to Cal, when taking up the mantle of a title, a Knight must make six oaths. They are, in no particular order, the Oath of Protection, Loyalty, Temperance, Fortitude, Charity, and Valor. These are mostly self-explanatory, so let's not get bogged down too much on their definitions.

Now, while these might've sounded like part of your standard troubadour-spun chivalric role-play, they were much more tangible than that. Each Oath was taken using a separate magical ritual that imprinted a separate port onto the Astral Body of the recipient corresponding to the separate connector on the weapons. Separately. Also, more on that whole 'Astral Body' thing later.

So, just to recap: there were seven magical USB ports corresponding to seven magical USB plugs, and when you put them together, you got a Knight that could rival a Draconian in power despite having no mana and being a run of the mill, if well trained, human. Now, it didn't take a British detective in a deer-stalker hat to notice a small discrepancy there: seven ports, seven connectors, but only six Oaths. Doesn't add up.

The thing is, according to Cal, there used to be an Oath of Fealty as well, but the Brotherhood didn't observe it anymore and it's only known to the King. It also didn't take a genius to figure out how that may have something to do with the Celestials consistently referring to the Knights as 'Oathbreakers' and a failed experiment.

Now, here comes the annoying part: the reason why I couldn't wear the full suit of armor I 'recovered', let alone a sword with it, was because my 'Astral Body' was damaged. This was apparently a 'Celestial thing', and while the chatty sword couldn't give me a clear description of what it was, I had a hunch that it was probably the collection of records inside people I called a 'soul', or at least something metaphysically adjacent.

The way Knightly equipment worked required a very specific circulation of mana inside the body, which was governed by the Astral Body, or something. I was still vague on the details, but one thing was certain: the issue was that because of the 'internal injury', my right hand acted as a dam that interfered with this circulation. That was a right pickle, but Cal was really adamant about being able to heal my hand with time. It made sense too; if a single 'internal injury' was all it took to permanently take a Knight out of commission, it would be a bigger design flaw than spikes on a trampoline.

Anyhow, with these new bits of information on my hand, I could conclude the following: making a Knight break an Oath made them weaker because it meant they had one less port to plug their enchanted gear into, I already took those Oaths before my amnesia and I could therefore connect to Cal and my armor without any problems, and once my hand was healed I should be able to use my full Knight gear and then become totally OP, learn how to fire beams with my sword, and maybe even win against Brang in Dominance for once. Look out, everyone; my power level will soon be over nine thousand!

Stupid jokes aside, having access to some power boosts on top of my already existing repertoire would open up a lot of new possibilities. Let's just hope that Judy was wrong on her assessment about the dreaded Narrative purposefully sabotaging things with my injury to keep me in check and I won't run into any other roadblocks. On the bright side, at least the Celestials couldn't exactly sabotage Cal like they did with my other prospective healers.

That... actually reminded me of something. Or rather, I had a nagging feeling that I was forgetting something important. It bothered me a lot, so tried to trace my train of thought backward, and when I finally pinpointed the source, I reflexively clicked my tongue.

Because of my long discussion with the sword, it totally slipped my mind that I promised Mike that I'd keep an eye on the class rep, just in case. I was sure she was fine, but a promise was a promise, so I figured I should put in a token effort, if for nothing else than my own peace of mind. As such, I leaned back, completely disregarded Ichiko poking the increasingly flustered sword, and closed my eyes for an impromptu Far Glance, only for them to pop open as I sat up straight again.

"Holy crap, what did I miss?" I hissed, startling the mischievous girl in front of me. After a moment of consideration, I unceremoniously handed Cal over to her with the words, "Please hold onto this for a moment. I need to concentrate."

The moment Ichiko took the sword from me, I immediately focused my attention on using my Far Sight again, and a moment later I was inside a large office room, the kind with rows of smaller cubicles, or… well, I presumed it had those, but the place has definitely seen better days. Not that it mattered, as the broken partitions and office supplies scattered around were all tinted in the same hue of violet as the walls and the ceiling. I was, without a shadow of a doubt, in a Purple Zone. That was already enough to tell me that something had to go awry, and after quickly pivoting my point of view around, I soon found the class rep in the company of Josh.

They were both in their Magiforms, and on a second look I also noticed Ammy's golem, Petra. For a moment I felt a little silly for missing the hulking thing, but in my defense, it looked quite different from usual. It had a part of its head carved out, and it was missing an arm, but since it was still moving, the damage obviously wasn't enough to disable it. Speaking of damage, I couldn't see any injuries, but both Josh and Ammy were breathing hard, and based on the degree of devastation surrounding them, it was obvious they've been engaged in combat for a while. As for the identity of their opponent…

"You're, like, full of surprises and stuff!" a youthful voice exclaimed, and as I glanced over, my metaphorical eyes landed on a brown-skinned girl leisurely lounging on thin air, as if she was on top of an invisible bed. She was wearing casual clothes, including a top that had a neckline that plunged way deeper than it had any business doing, and tight jeans, which only made the fact that she was floating in the air even more bizarre.

"Why are you doing this?" Josh raised his voice as he stood between Ammy and the floating girl, and Sahi let out a derisive chuckle at their expense.

"Why am I doing this?" she echoed my friend while rolling around so that now she was lying on her back with her head hanging so that she could still look at the two. "Do I, like, really have to explain myself to you? You totally broke into a Magi property with the express purpose of stealing classified documents. Why shouldn't I get in your way?"

Seeing their exchange, I could barely hold myself back from sighing. Yep, they were caught red-handed. I figured this would happen sooner or later, but it still came as a bit of a shock. I mean, on a narrative level, I would've expected this to be a much bigger deal, but instead it was just a background event. But then again, while it was like that for me, from the point of view of Josh, it was probably a serious situation so… maybe I was the background event peeking at the main one?

While I was considering the meta-implications of the events, Josh took a deep breath and stood his ground even harder with the words, "We're not stealing anything! Those are important for Amelia, so we just want to keep them safe!"

I was just about to get up and Phase over, but Josh's defiant comment made me pause in my track and focus on Far Seeing again. I was kind of joking a few moments ago (it's my coping mechanism, bite me), but what if this really was an 'event'? I mean, we've been training Josh for a while now in using his powers as the Chosen One of every supernatural race, so maybe this was a situation engineered for him to finally show off his progress? I mean, doing it against an Arch-mage was a little unfair, but as Sahi, Saahira wasn't on the same power level as when she was in her proper body (or so she claimed in front of Lord Grandpa), so maybe they actually had a chance? If so, then my intervention could potentially rob Josh of an important moment of development.

As such, I decided to wait and see for now. In fact, on second thought, I figured this might end up pretty entertaining. Too bad I couldn't eat popcorn while I was Far Seeing…

"Very important indeed," Sahi responded a little late as she righted herself and casually floated around them while maintaining her distance. "Has she, like, even told you what's in those documents?"

"It doesn't matter," Josh responded right away.

"Oh, but it totally does!" the floating girl exclaimed, closely followed by a giggle. "It's a secret she didn't want anyone to know about, but she was, like, waaay too slow and didn't cover all her tracks and whatever, so we totally found out. That's when I figured out that she was the one responsible for the missing paper and, like, I set this trap for you, and you totally walked into it!"

"A secret," Josh whispered and glanced at Ammy over his shoulder, but the bespectacled girl remained completely silent.

Ah, that's such a clichéd development! The antagonist is hinting at some kind of secret one of the heroes has, but they don't say it outright, and because they remain silent, it creates all sorts of distrust and interpersonal conflicts. It's not a bad trope, as the audience loves to craft all kinds of theories about these secrets, but I personally found it a little bit annoying. As in, it's only a conflict because the accused never speaks the truth, and most of the time their 'shameful secret' ends up some tiny issue that no one actually makes a fuss about once it's revealed at a suitably dramatic moment.

Apparently, this wasn't that moment, as before Sahi could continue, Josh faced her again, clenched his jaw, and exclaimed, "I trust Ammy, so I don't care about any of that!"

"Ah, but, like, does she believe that you don't care?" the brown girl, who was for some reason once again floating practically upside down taunted him, but he was paying no attention to her, as he was too busy whispering to the class rep behind him.

"Listen, Ammy. I'm going to draw her attention and pin her down. Use the opportunity to get out of here and call for help."

"You can't!" she whispered back, but Josh completely disregarded her and instead immediately did one of those complex hand moves Snowy also used when casting spells. A blink of an eye later a ball of shimmering air formed in his open palm, but instead of throwing it at the floating girl, he aimed it at the ground between them.

I don't know how exactly it did it, but the ball of air exploded (or maybe the floor did) into a large cloud of dust and debris, momentarily obscuring them from prying eyes, including my own. It didn't last for long though, as Josh lunged through the impromptu smoke screen and aimed a straight punch at Sahi's abdomen.

The brown girl stopped horsing around the moment the air-ball was thrown, but even though she was floating upright once more, Josh closed in on her too fast for her to react. The punch connected, but there was no reaction on her end. At first I figured Josh might've hit a personal ward, but on closer look, I noticed a large, ethereal hand clasped around my friend's entire forearm. I wanted to take a closer look, but before I could do so, he opened his palm, revealing a smaller airball!

Okay, I'm not going to lie, that was pretty cool. I've never seen him do something like this during training, but by the looks of it, real combat brought the best out of him.

Even though he couldn't move the arm with the translucent hand clasped around it, his open palm was now close enough where Sahi had no time to react, and she was hit by the full brunt of the attack, staggering her (as much as someone who was floating in the air can stagger) while simultaneously releasing Josh from her grasp.

By the way, what was that transparent hand? Was it a spell? I didn't see or hear her chanting, so that couldn't be it… maybe some kind of other ability? Or a continuous spell she cast ahead of time? I really wanted to take a better look, but my observations were once again interrupted by Josh.

After landing from the last clash, he instantly sprung to his feet and dashed towards Sahi again. As he did so, I saw him pop a small capsule into his mouth, which I immediately recognized as one of the small edible containers we used to store blood samples so that he could transform without any of the girls being present. I only saw it for a moment, but it looked white, so… Draconian?

It was hard to tell, considering the Magiformer suppressed his physical changes, but the way he suddenly accelerated told me my hunch was probably correct. He closed in on the still unbalanced Arch-mage proxy and grabbed hold of her arm. By the looks of it, he was trying to grapple with her. That was a smart move. We already established that because of the way barriers and wards worked, most supernatural folks were weak to being grabbed and wrestled to the ground, and my friend was apparently about to exploit this weakness. I held my breath in silent anticipation, but I was regrettably let down when the previous translucent hand reappeared again and grabbed onto Josh in turn, keeping him at arm's reach.

The two entered into a bit of a stalemate for a moment, where neither of them could overpower the other, but they couldn't afford to let each other go either. It only lasted for a moment though, as it was abruptly broken by a red dot of light coalescing right in front of his face. Like, seriously, dude? Dragonfire at point-blank range? That was kind of unsportsmanlike.

However, just a second later, I had to reassess my opinion when another invisible hand came out of nowhere and clamped over his jaw. Okay, now that was unsportsmanlike.

Things looked dire for a second, but then a new voice entered the fray with a frantic, "Close your eyes!"

"Ammy? What are you—?"

Josh's muffled (and equally baffled) words were stuck in his throat a moment later when the class rep appeared in the floating girl's blind spot and stuck her recently reforged magic staff at her face. It was her request to make it sturdier to avoid getting broken again, so I had Fred machine out an intermediate from metal, had Pip and Hrul put on the finishing touches, then Gowan carved a basic array into it, and then I transplanted the broken staff's enchantment onto it. The result was a surprisingly sturdy piece of work that could easily survive some abuse, so I naturally thought Ammy wanted to whack the floating girl with it, but the head of the staff stopped just a hair short and she exclaimed, "Lux!"

I was once again glad that I wasn't seeing this with my actual retinas, as the searing light that followed in the wake of her magical command made the midday sun look like a tiny candle in comparison. This way, instead of getting blinded, I only flinched in surprise, but not so much that I would miss the large shape appearing from the left and lunging at the preoccupied Sahi in the mother of all shoulder tackles.

By the looks of it both the class rep and Petra used the same dust cloud that Josh kicked up to circle around the Arch-magess while she was focusing on Josh, and use the element of surprise to take her down. I had to give it to her, the idea was pretty good in theory, but it didn't count on Sahi being domineering as hell.

Before Petra could make contact, its thunderous approach was abruptly halted by two more hands materializing out of thin air and grabbing hold of it, forcing it to stop in its track like it just hit a small mountain, sending cracks running across its upper body. I would've expected the still floating Arch-mage to get pushed back at least a little bit, but she remained completely steadfast even though she had no support and… wait a moment. On closer look, there was another hand clamped onto the floor in the opposite direction, so… five? She had five of those things?

No, scratch that. By the time I glanced back, she was holding Ammy up in the air by the collar of her Magiform, so that's six! Considering two of them were enough to immobilize Draconic Josh and she could no sell a full charge from Petra with another two, at the same time no less… wow, that's some bloody OP stuff right there.

"That was a totally valiant effort," the floating girl cooed with a smile as Josh also lost his grasp on her and she proceeded to dangle him right next to the class rep, except in his case, it was by his jaw. That… couldn't be comfortable. "I'm surprised you could put up this much of a fight, Amelia, considering what you are," Sahi paused and glanced at the struggling guy in the grasp of her other translucent hand spell thing. "As for you, I'm, like, totally impressed! No wonder old Endy was so interested in you!" Josh remained silent and only defiantly glared at the brown girl, yet it only drew another giggle out of her. "You're such an interesting boy! It's too bad you got totally entangled in her little quest to hide what she truly is. Are you, like, really not curious at all about why she went to such lengths?"

Honestly, I was getting a little impatient. This was yet another 'I shall taunt you' moment common in the battle harem genre, and while I admit that even I was guilty of it every now and then, but in my defense, I usually prompted people to do it to buy me some time. What was the point of listening to her repeating her whole spiel again? Josh obviously still had some fight in him, so this was far from over. It was time for a heroic second wind! Come on, Josh! I know you can do it! Use the power of friendship! Trust in the heart of the cards! Believe in me who believes in you!

I waited. And waited. And then waited some more.

"Please, don't…" Ammy pleaded in a weak voice, so I held my breath, even as Sahi let out another giggle, and…

Nothing. Josh did nothing. In fact, he looked like he was on the verge of losing consciousness from having his mouth and nose covered.

"Oh crap. There's no second wind," I blurted out as the realization set in, and before I knew it, I was already back in my living room.

"Oh? Ue-sama woke u—"

I jumped to my feet without sparing any words for Ichiko, rushed into the entryway to put on a pair of shoes and the first coat I could get my hands on, and then just as swiftly returned to the confused little girl's side.

"Thanks for holding onto Cal, I have to go now," I sputtered in a hurry as I grabbed hold of the sword and took a second to compose myself.

"{What is the matter, young knight? Did something—}" It was at this point that I unceremoniously Phased away, and a momentary beat later Cal exclaimed, "{It happened again! Where are we!? How did we get here!?}"

I didn't respond to them, but instead I focused on the scene unfolding in front of me. Sahi was still floating, with the six magical hands around her, and because I Phased behind her, she was currently still unaware of my existence. The same couldn't be said about Josh and Ammy, as the moment they noticed me, the tension visibly drained from their bodies.

The Arch-mage might have misunderstood this as them giving up, as she exclaimed, "In fact, this girl here is actually a—!"

It was at this precise moment that I put both my hands on Cal's pommel and stabbed it at the floor in front of me, resulting in a sharp sound and a disapproving {Hey!}. I paid no attention to the latter, but instead followed it up by pointedly clearing my throat. By this point Sahi already turned around to face me, and once our eyes met, I dryly told her, "Good evening, Arch-mage Saahira. I came to… negotiate."